Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwakho isango lenkululeko. - Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
Ngokuqinisekileyo ujonge esipilini iintsuku ezininzi kwaye uqhelekile kwinkangeleko yakho phantse njengayo nayiphi na enye into oyibonayo.
Kodwa ujonga kangaphi ngaphakathi ukuze wazi ngakumbi umntu onguye ngaphakathi?
Leyo yi-crux yokuzibonakalisa ngokwakho: ukwazi ukusebenza kwakho ngaphakathi kunye nendlela oyaziyo yangaphandle.
Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwakho yinkqubo apho ukhulisa khona ukuqonda kwakho ukuba ungubani, zithini ixabiso lakho, nokuba kutheni ucinga kwaye uzenza ngendlela owenza ngayo.
Luhlobo lohlalutyo lomntu olukuvumela ukuba ubenze ubomi bakho bulungelelane nento onqwenela ukuba ibe yiyo.
Makhe siphonononge esi sixhobo sibalulekileyo, siqale ngesizathu sokuba kufuneka usenze.
Ukubaluleka kokuZibonela
Uhambo lokuzithanda kunye nokwamkela ngokwakho kufuneka luqale ngokuzivavanya. Ude uthathe uhambo lokuzibonisa, phantse akunakwenzeka ukuba ukhule okanye ufunde ebomini. -Iyanla Vanzant
Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwakho - okwabizwa ngokuba kukuzazisa-yindlela yokuzijonga kunye nokuzihlalutya ukuze ukhule njengomntu.
Oko kukhula sisizathu sokuba kubaluleke kangaka ukuchitha ixesha ucinga ngokwakho.
Ngokuqonda ukuba ungubani ngoku kwaye ungathanda ukuba ngubani, unceda ekuchongeni amanyathelo ekufuneka uwathathe kolo hambo.
Ukucinga ngendlela oziphethe ngayo kwaye zeziphi iingcinga ezingena engqondweni yakho xa usabela kwiziganeko kwihlabathi elikujikelezileyo zikuvumela ukuba ubone ukuba ufuna ukusebenza phi.
Mhlawumbi ubunemfutshane kwaye ubanomsindo ngomntu osebenza naye.
Ngokujonga emva kuloo nto, unokuqonda ukuba le asiyondlela onqwenela ukuphathwa ngayo, kwaye ayisiyiyo indlela onqwenela ukubaphatha ngayo abanye.
Emva koko unokufuna ukulungisa le ndlela yokuziphatha kwikamva kwaye mhlawumbi ndicela uxolo kumntu osebenza naye ukuba ubukrwada ngokukodwa okanye ungenabubele.
Oku kungakhokelela kubudlelane obuphuculweyo bokusebenza nalo mntu kunye nosuku lomsebenzi olumnandi ngakumbi.
Ukuqaqambisa ukubaluleka okanye ukubonakalisa ngokwakho, kufuneka uqwalasele enye indlela.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuchonga apho ubunokuthi wenze ngendlela ebuhlungu, uya kuphinda wenze loo ndlela kwakhona.
Kumzekelo wethu, oku kwandisa kuphela ukuziva ungonwabanga ngenxa yoxinzelelo lwasemsebenzini kunye nezinto ezinokubakho ezimbi ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Ixesha elichithwe ekubonakaliseni ubuqu bakho lithuba lokulinganisa inkqubela yakho ngendlela elungileyo.
Ungawachonga amaxesha apho uphendule khona kwimeko ngeengcinga ezisempilweni kunye nokuziphatha.
Ingakunika imeko yempumelelo kwaye ikugcine ukhuthazekile kwimfuno yakho yokuzenza ngcono-kodwa ijonge kuwe.
Ngokuyimfuneko, emva koko, ukubonakalisa ngokwakho yindlela yokwenza izilungiso zekhosi ezininzi kude neengcinga ezinqwenelekayo kunye nokuziphatha kwabo bakhuthaza intlalontle enkulu.
Izibonelelo zokuZicingela
Ngoku sele sibonile ukuba kutheni kubaluleke kangaka ukubonakalisa iingcinga kunye nezenzo zakho, zeziphi izibonelelo ezinokubakho ngokwenza oko?
Ulwalamano oluphuculweyo
Njengakwimizekelo yethu yasemsebenzini apha ngasentla, ngokujonga indlela ophatha ngayo abanye kunye neengcinga onokuba nazo ngabo, unokwenza utshintsho olukhokelela kubudlelwane obuhambelana ngakumbi.
Ukuba kukho ubunzima kubudlelwane-nokuba lolothando okanye iplonic -Ungayivavanya imeko, ubuze ukuba yeyiphi indima oyidlalayo kobo bunzima, kwaye ufumane iindlela zokoyisa.
Ukuzibonakalisa kwakho kukunika ithuba lokuba ubone indlela oziva ngayo malunga nomnye umntu kwaye ujonge ixabiso eliziswa lulwalamano.
Oku kunokukwenza uxabise ngakumbi loo mntu emva koko nefuthe kwindlela onxibelelana ngayo nabo.
Ukucaca Okukhulu Kokucinga
Ukuzazisa kwangaphambili kunika ithuba lokucinga ngento ethile yodwa kwinto ngokwayo.
Endaweni yokuba ingqondo yakho igutyungelwe ziimvakalelo ohlangabezana nazo xa unxibelelana nento ekumbuzo, unokuyijonga ngendlela enengqondo ngakumbi.
Ungayibona ngokucace ngakumbi kwaye ucinge ngayo ukusuka kumbono ojikeleziweyo ngobuchule, ubugwenxa, kunye nezinye iinkcukacha ezibalulekileyo ezikunceda wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo malunga nendlela onqwenela ukutshintsha ngayo (okanye ukuba awufuni ukutshintsha konke).
inkcazo yokunyaniseka kubudlelwane
Mhlawumbi, umzekelo, loo nto lukhetho olufana nomsebenzi owuthathayo. Ukuba awuthandi ukuhamba okude kwindawo okuyo ngoku, usenokungaziboni izibonelelo ezizisa ngexesha lokuhamba ngokwalo.
Kodwa ngokubuya umva kwaye ucinge ngayo ngosuku lokuphumla, unokuqonda ukuba ngaphandle kwako konke oko kumnandi, iingenelo zomsebenzi oyiyo ndiyakuthanda okanye umvuzo owufumanayo kuwo wenza ukuba uhambo olufanelekileyo lube semgangathweni.
Isenokutshintsha indlela oziva ngayo malunga nohambo lwakho lokuhamba okanye indlela okhetha ukulichitha ngayo elo xesha.
Ukwazi Imilinganiselo Oyithandayo
Uya kukufumanisa kunzima ukuzazi de uchithe ixesha ucinga ngento ebaluleke kuwe.
Xa uzijonga ngokwakho, unokubona izinto ozenzayo okanye ocinga ukuba zichasene nokuba ungathanda ukuba ngubani.
Ungaqwalasela imiba ebalulekileyo esijongana nayo ebomini kwaye wenze indawo eqinileyo kuyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, de uhlale kwaye ucinge ngento ethile, awunakugqiba ukuba ume phi kuyo.
Oku kunokugubungela zonke iintlobo zemicimbi yokuziphatha ezinje ngelungelo lokuphelisa ubomi bomntu okanye ukukhuselwa kwendalo.
Okanye inokukunceda ufumane imigaqo-sikhokelo onqwenela ukuhlala kuyo.
Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwakho yindlela ikhampasi yakho yokuziphatha enokuthi yenziwe kwaye icokiswe ngayo ukuze ukwazi ukwenza inyani kuyo yonke into oyenzayo.
Inokukunceda uzive ulahlekile ebomini kwaye uxhotyiswe ngakumbi ekwenzeni ikamva elibonisa iinkolelo zakho eziphambili
zijenny kunye nes sumit kunye
Ukuphuculwa kwezigqibo
Senza amakhulukhulu okukhetha yonke imihla, kodwa uninzi alubalulekanga kwaye lunokushiyekela kuthi Ingqondo engekho zingqondweni .
Kodwa xa kufikwa kwizigqibo ezibaluleke ngakumbi ebomini, ukubonakaliswa kobuqu kancinci kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ibuyela kukucaca kwengcinga kunye nokwazi amaxabiso akho ayinyani.
Ngezi zinto zimbini, unako yenza izigqibo Okukubeka kweyona ndlela ibalaseleyo kwimpilo-ntle enkulu.
Oku kuthetha ukuzisola okumbalwa okanye ukuphoswa ngamathuba kunye noxolo lwengqondo ngakumbi usazi ukuba wenze ukhetho olufanelekileyo.
Ukulala okungcono
Xa uchitha ixesha elincinci usuku ngalunye ujonga emva kweziganeko kunye nendlela ophendule ngayo, inokuzisa ukuvalwa nakweyiphi na iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga.
Oku kunokukunceda hayi kuphela ndikhawuleze ndilale , kodwa ubuthongo obuninzi ubusuku bonke '.
Ukuphela komqolomba koku kukuba kufuneka uphephe ukuvumela ukubonakaliswa kujike kube ngamarhe.
Cinga ngemini yakho, kodwa ke vula iphepha kwaye uvumele ingqondo yakho ukuba iqale ngokutsha ngosuku olulandelayo. Sukubambeka kwingcinga ixesha elide.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Indlela yokuziqonda bhetele kwimibuzo esi-7
- Ndingubani? Impendulo ebalaseleyo yamaBuddha kule mibuzo yobuqu
- Uluhlu lokuGqibela lweMibuzo engama-30 yokuzibuza yona malunga noBomi
- Yintoni i-Self-Concept kwaye ibuchaphazela njani ubomi bakho?
- Yintoni injongo kunye neNqaku loBomi? (Ayisiyiyo le uyicingayo)
- 'Kutheni Abantu Bengandithandi?' Izizathu ezi-9 zokuba abantu abafuni ukuba ngumhlobo wakho
Uxinzelelo oluncinci kunye noxinzelelo
Esinye seziphumo eziphambili zokuzibonakalisa nokuzazi ngokusondeleyo kukuba uyazithemba ngakumbi nakwizenzo zakho.
Ufumana ukuqiniseka ngakumbi kweli lizwe lingaqinisekanga kuba usemhlabeni ngokwendlela ozijonga ngayo.
Ngokuqiniseka okukhulu kuza uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo oluncinci.
Awuzikhathazi kangako malunga 'nokuba kuthekani' kwaye ujonge ngakumbi kwizinto onokuzenza ukulungelelanisa isenzo sakho kunye nale migaqo isikhokelo sithethe ngayo ngasentla.
Kwaye wena ungakhathazeki kangako malunga nokuba abanye abantu bacinga ntoni ngawe kunye nokukhetha kwakho kuba uyazi ukuba wenza okulungileyo kuwe.
Indlela yokuZicingela ngokwakho
Ngoku ukuba uyazi ukuba kutheni kubalulekile ukuba uziqhelanise kunye neenzuzo ezinokuthi zizise, makhe sihlolisise indlela onokuyenza ngayo.
Fumana ukuba wedwa okuzolileyo
Ukuze ukwazi ukucinga ngokucacileyo, kufanelekile ukuba ubekho kwindawo ezolileyo nenoxolo.
Oku kuthetha ukuba wedwa, nangona kunganyanzelekanga ukuba ube wedwa ngokwasemzimbeni, kodwa endaweni yokuba ungaphazanyiswa ngabantu nezinto ezikungqongileyo.
Indawo entle endlwini enjenge-snug, ibhafu efudumeleyo, okanye ulele nje ebhedini yakho ilungile, kodwa unganqwenela ukuhlala egadini okanye epakini ukuba oku kuyanceda ekuvuseleleni iingcinga zakho.
Buza ukuba ‘Kutheni?’
'Kutheni' yinto yokuqala yokucinga ngayo.
Kutheni usenza ngendlela owenza ngayo?
Kutheni ucinga ngendlela ocinga ngayo?
Oku kunokuba ngokunxulumene nomsitho othile ngaloo mini, okanye kunokuba kukukhangela ngokubanzi ngakumbi kwezizathu ezithile zeengcinga okanye zokuziphatha ozibone njengesiqhelo.
Abanye 'kutheni' kulula ukuwuphendula. Usenokuba uye wamngxolisa umntwana wakho kuba wena neqabane lakho benike naxabana kwakamsinya ngaphambili.
Abanye 'kutheni' kunzima ukuphendula. Ukwalatha izizathu zokuba kutheni uziva unamandla ngenxa okanye ngokuchasene nemithetho engqongqo yemipu akusoloko kungqala.
Buza 'Intoni?' 'Phi?' Kwaye 'Ngubani?'
Imibuzo elandelayo oya kufuna ukuyibuza kwaye uyiphendule emva kokuqala kwakho 'kutheni' yile ikwazisa ngendlela ongathanda ukucinga okanye ukwenza ngayo ukuya phambili.
Bajikeleze le mibuzo ingundoqo mithathu:
Ngendenze ntoni ngokwahlukileyo?
Ndifuna ukuya phi?
Ndifuna ukuba ngubani?
Esi sisiseko sobubanzi, imibuzo echanekileyo ngakumbi oya kuyifuna ukuyibuza kuxhomekeke ekubeni leliphi icala lakho ocinga ngalo.
Nantsi eminye imizekelo:
- Ngendenze ntoni xa umphathi wam wayendigxeka phambi koontanga?
uyibona phi le ubudlelwane ukuba iyaphi
-Ndifuna ukuba phi kulwalamano lwam kule minyaka imbalwa izayo?
- Ndijonge kubani?
- Impendulo yam mayibe yintoni kumntu ondiphatha kakubi ngenxa yohlanga lwam?
- ndifuna ukusebenza iiyure ezingaphi? (lo ngumbuzo othi 'phi' nangona uqala ngo 'njani.')
- Ngaba indlela enditya ngayo ngoku ibonisa uluvo lwam ngenkohlakalo yezilwanyana? (lo ngumbuzo othi 'ngubani')
Buza ‘Njani?’
Nje ukuba uchonge into ongathanda ukuyitshintsha, ucinge ukuba kutheni usenza ngoku, kwaye uqwalasele indawo efanelekileyo yokuphela, kufuneka ubuze ukuba uza kufika njani apho.
Zeziphi izinto ekufuneka uqale ngokuzenza okanye uyeke ukuzenza ukufikelela kwinqanaba apho iingcinga okanye isimilo sakho sitshintshe ngendlela obungathanda ngayo?
Ngamanye amagama, ithini imephu yendlela yokukususa ku-A (apho ukhoyo ngoku) uye ku-B (apho ungathanda ukuba khona)?
Zinike ixesha, kodwa wazi ukuba uza kuyeka nini
Njengoko sele kukhankanyiwe apha ngasentla, inkqubo yokuzibonakalisa ngokwakho inokubeka umngcipheko kwimeko ephantsi yokurheca okanye yokucinga kakhulu.
Xa sivumela ingcinga ukuba ijikeleze ezingqondweni zethu amaxesha ngamaxesha ngaphandle kwendlela ebonakalayo yokusombulula, siphulukana nazo zonke izibonelelo zokuboniswa kwangaphakathi kwaye sinokugqibela sokwenzakalisa impilo-ntle yethu.
Ke kubalulekile ukuba usete umda wokuba uhlala ixesha elingakanani ucinga ngokuthula.
Unganqwenela ukuyenza le ibe lixesha elithile, okanye ungatsho nje ukuba lixesha lokuba ume xa ubambekile kuloliwe wokucinga.
Kwaye xa ixesha lifikile lokumisa, eyona nto intle ukuyenza kukufudukela kwenye indawo ngokupheleleyo.
Kungenxa yoko le nto ingaqhelekanga umbono olungileyo wokuzibonakalisa ebhedini ngaphambi kokulala.
Ngazo zonke iindlela lala ebhedini, kodwa yenze kakuhle ngaphambi kokuphela kosuku lwakho okanye nangaliphi na elinye ixesha apho ubuthongo bungekho phezulu.
Ukwahlukana nembonakalo yangaphakathi, zama ukuntywilisela kwaye ujonge kwenye into ngaphandle kwezinto ocinga ngazo.
Nantoni na enokuphazamisa ingqondo yakho kude kwinto obucinga ngayo.
Cinga ukuBhala iingcinga zakho ezantsi
Abanye abantu banokukufumanisa kuluncedo ukwenza amanqaku eengcinga zabo njengoko bezicingela.
Ukubhala kwijenali yindlela eyaziwayo yokwenza oku njengoko igcina yonke into kwindawo enye kwaye ikuvumela ukuba ujonge emva kwinto ocinga ngayo ngaphambili ukukugcina kwindlela elungileyo.
Oku kunokuba luncedo ukuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukuphuma kwingcinga ethile. Nje ukuba ibhalwe phantsi kwaye igcinwe ngokukhuselekileyo, unokufumanisa ukuba ingqondo inokuyiyeka ngokulula ngaphandle kwesoyikiso sokuyilibala.
Thetha kugqirha
Ngelixa uninzi lwabantu kungafuneki ukuba luthathe eli nyathelo, abanye banokufumanisa ukuba ukuthetha ngezinto kunye nonyango yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokulungiselela iingcinga neemvakalelo zabo.
Njengengcali efanelekileyo, ugqirha unokunceda ukukhokela inkqubo yakho yokucinga kwizinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ebomini bakho kunye nemiba onokujamelana nayo.
Banokukunceda ukuba ucinge ngamanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuze wenze utshintsho olufanelekileyo onqwenela ukulwenza.
Unokufumanisa ukuba ukuthetha nomnye umntu kunokuba uhambe wedwa kuthatha ubunzima engqondweni kwaye kukunceda ukuba ungaguquguquki kwimizamo yakho yokuzibonakalisa.
Kuthekani Ukuba Andiyonwabeli?
Inqanaba elisempilweni lokuzibonakalisa ngokwenyani lixhobisa kwaye linike amandla umntu njengoko bebona iindlela zokuphucula ngokwabo.
Kodwa oku akuyi kuba njalo kuwo wonke umntu.
Ukuba unengxaki yokufumana inkqubo okanye ufumanisa ukuba iphakamisa imiba enzima evela kwixesha elidlulileyo, ukubheja kwakho okusemandleni akho kukuthetha nonyango.
Awusilelanga ukuba kunyanzelekile cela uncedo . Uphumelele ekuqondeni ukuba kufuneka njalo.
Indoda kufuneka izifunele ixesha. Ixesha yinto esichitha ngayo ubomi bethu. Ukuba asilumkanga sifumana abanye bechitha kuthi.
Kuyimfuneko ngoku kwaye emva koko ukuba indoda ihambe yodwa iyokuziva inesithukuthezi ukuze ihlale elityeni ehlathini kwaye izibuze, “Ndingubani, bendiphi, kwaye ndiyaphi?”
Ukuba umntu akalumkanga, omnye uvumela ukuphambukiswa ukuba kuthathe ixesha lakhe - izinto zobomi. Carl Carlburg
