Elo xesha lobugqi lifikile: unyana wakho oyintanda okanye intombi inesoka okanye intombi.
Bavutha luthando, banesidima, kwaye bafuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nezinto zothando lwabo kangangoko.
… Kwaye uyamcaphukela lo mntu.
Mhlawumbi awuqinisekanga ukuba kutheni, okanye mhlawumbi uyazi ngokuthe ngqo ukuba kutheni ungekhe ubanyamezele.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, yenza imeko engonwabisiyo kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo.
Ke, unokwenza ntoni ukuba awukuthandi ukukhetha komlingane komntwana wakho?
Masambe nzulu kancinci ukuze sibone ukuba zeziphi iindlela onokukhetha kuzo.
Ewe, kutheni kungenjalo?
Okokuqala nokuphambili, kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba yintoni le ongayithandiyo ngayo, kwaye ngoba.
Thatha le jenali yakho kwaye ubhale phantsi yonke into ongayithandiyo ngalo mntu.
Thembeka, nokuba kunzima: ungafumanisa ukungonwabi-kwaye nokuba kubi - imicimbi yobuqu kunye nokuthambeka malunga nalo mntu akunanto yakwenza nolwalamano abanalo nomntwana wakho.
Ngaba uziva ukuba ngandlela thile 'abalunganga ngokwaneleyo' kumntwana wakho?
Ukuba kunjalo, kutheni?
Ngaba lo mntu ubonakala enefuthe elibi kubomi bomntwana wakho?
Umzekelo, ngaba amabakala omntwana wakho ayatyibilika kuba bachitha ixesha oziva ukuba 'likhulu kakhulu' ixesha kunye neqabane labo?
Ngaba zikhona iimpawu kulo mntu ezithi zikucaphukise?
Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba kukho iyantlukwano kwinkcubeko / kwiklasi ekunzima ukuyihamba?
Kuthekani ngohlobo lwabo lokunxiba, okanye umculo abawukhethayo?
Le yimibuzo embalwa onokuzibuza yona xa usenza uphando ngokunyaniseka kwesi sihloko.
Zininzi ezinye, kunjalo, kodwa ngethemba lokuba le nto ingayenza ibhola iqengqele ukuze ufike entliziyweni yomcimbi.
Ngaba uthathe ixesha lokuba umazi lo mntu?
Abantu bahlala benza izigwebo ngokukhawuleza malunga nabanye ngaphambi kokuba bathathe ixesha lokuba babazi.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi xa kusiziwa ekukhuseleni abanye.
Sibakhusele ngakumbi abantwana bethu kunaye nawuphi na umntu okwiplanethi, yiyo loo nto kuyaqondakala ukuba kutheni amaqhekeza ethu enyuka ukuba sivakalelwa kukuba nantoni na inokuba nefuthe elibi okanye eliyingozi kubo.
Abanye abantu, ukwazi ukuba umntwana wabo usenyongweni nomntu othile kubenza bangakhululeki kwaphela.
Nangona kusithiwa unyana / intombi inokuba ikwishumi elivisayo / ekuqaleni kweminyaka engamashumi amabini / ukuya phambili, baya kuhlala be 'lusana' lolo mntu kwinqanaba elithile.
Ukubabona bethandana kunye neqabane labo kunokubangela impendulo ekhawulezileyo, ekhuselekileyo… nangona bengenasidingo sokukhuselwa.
Ngamanye amaxesha, umzali unokuba nembono eyomeleleyo ngohlobo lweqabane abafuna umntwana wakhe abenalo.
Ukuba intombi yabo ekhethiweyo ayithandi ezo mpawu, banokuziva ukuba ngandlel 'ithile lo mntu 'akonelanga.'
Okanye ukuba umntwana wabo unzima okanye uyadelela ukubasongela kunye neemfuno zabo ezifanelekileyo.
Xa oku kusenzeka, kubalulekile ukuba uzibuze ukuba ngokwenene uyamazi umntu umntwana wakho uthandana.
Musa ukugweba umntu ngembonakalo yabo
Ngokuqinisekileyo, usenokuba ukhe wadla isidlo sangokuhlwa ngamaxesha athile, kwaye usenokuba nincokole ngokufutshane kwiimbutho ezinkulu zeentsapho, kodwa ngaba nithabathe ixesha lokuzazi?
Incoko encinci ayisiqinisekisi ngokwenyani kubuntu bomnye umntu, ungaze ukhathalele ezinye iinkalo ezahlukeneyo ezizezabo.
Ukuba lo mntu unemvelaphi eyahlukileyo yenkcubeko, kwaye ufundiswe kakuhle, unokuzifumanisa unomsindo kukungakwazi kwabo ukutyibilika kulwimi lwesiNgesi.
Isigama sabo sisenokungabanzi, kwaye kusenokubakho iyantlukwano yenkcubeko ongayithandiyo.
Thatha ixesha lokubazi, kwaye unokufumanisa ukuba uqinisekile, banobunzima ekuthetheni isiNgesi, kodwa kungenxa yokuba olu lulwimi lwabo lwesihlanu okanye lwesithandathu.
Banokufundwa kakuhle ngokumangalisayo, bahambe kakuhle, kwaye babenolwazi ngezihloko ezingenakubalwa, zonke ongazi ukuba wazazi malunga nezigwebo zakho ezikhawulezayo.
Ngaba lo mntu udidi olwahlukileyo lwezemali kunawe?
Kulungile, ke usenokucinga ngembewu yakho itshate ugqirha okanye igqwetha kwaye ngoku ukhathazekile yinto yokuba 'behleli' nomchweli.
Usenokungamthandi lo mntu kuphela ngenxa yokuba uziva ngathi akazukunikeza umntwana wakho uhlobo lobomi ocinga ukuba lolo.
Kulapho ke kufuneka uthathe umzuzwana kwaye uqaphele ukuba lisetyenziswa kangaphi igama elithi 'wena' apho.
Kwaye uvuke kwinto yokuba olu lwalamano alunanto yakwenza kwaphela wena .
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
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- Ungamisa Njani Ukwenza Umntwana Wakho Okhuleyo
- UngaJongana njani noMntwana okhule engenantlonipho: 7 Akukho zingcebiso zingamampunge!
- Intabatheko ngokuchasene nothando: Iindlela ezili-11 ezahlukileyo
- Izinto ezili-13 ezenziwa ngamadoda athandana nawo kunye namantombazana athandana nawo
Hlonipha uNyana wakho / uKhetho lweNtombi yakho, kuba yeyabo
Esinye sezifundo ezinzima umzali anokuze asifunde kukuba umntwana wabo akangowabo.
Khumbula lo mbongo kaKahlil Gibran:
Abantwana bakho asingobantwana bakho.
Ngoonyana neentombi zoBomi ukuzinqwenela.
Ziza ngawe kodwa zingaveli kuwe,
Kwaye nangona zikunye nawe kodwa ayizizo ezakho.
Ungabanika uthando lwakho kodwa ungaziniki ezakho iingcinga,
Kuba baneengcinga ezizezabo.
Ungayigcina imizimba yabo kodwa ingeyiyo imiphefumlo yabo,
Kuba imiphefumlo yabo ihlala endlwini yangomso, ongenako ukuyindwendwela, nkqu nasemaphupheni akho.
Unokuzama ukuba njengabo, kodwa ungafuni ukubenza bafana nawe.
Ubomi abubuyeli mva kwaye abulibazeki izolo.
^ Oko.
Awunakulindela ukuba abantwana bakho benze njengoko ubuya kwenza, bafune njengoko ufuna, baphile ngendlela ophila ngayo.
Bangabantu ngeendlela zabo, uloyiko lwabo, uvuyo kunye neminqweno, kwaye ezo kufuneka zihlonitshwe kwaye zixhaswe.
Kwaye oko kudlulela kukhetho lwabo lokuthandana ngokunjalo.
Ungazami Ukuthintela Ulwalamano
Enye yezinto ezimbi kakhulu umzali anokuzenza kukuzama ukuthintela unyana / intombi yakhe ukuba ingathandani nomntu abangamthandiyo.
Khumbula ukuba umntwana wakho uyamthanda lo mntu ngesizathu (nokuba awukholelwa ukuba luthando lwenene), kwaye nantoni na engalunganga oyithethayo ngesithandwa sabo iya kuxhokonxa impendulo enkulu edolweni wena .
Ukuba unenkxalabo efanelekileyo malunga neqabane labo, thetha nabo malunga nezinto ezikukhathazayo.
Yenze incoko ezolileyo endaweni yokuba xa iimvakalelo zakho ziphakanyisiwe, okanye ubhale phantsi izinto ezikuxhalabisayo kwileta abanokuyifunda amaxesha aliqela ngaphezulu xa ixesha lilungile kubo.
Kwakhona khumbula ukuphatha umntwana wakho ngenhlonipho, kwaye usondele kwisihloko ngenxa yenkxalabo ngabo, kunokuba ubonise ukungathandi kwakho.
Indlela elungileyo yokwenza oku kukubabuza imibuzo malunga nolwalamano, kunokuba ubek 'ityala.
Umzekelo, endaweni yokuthi, 'Lo mntu akakuphathi kakuhle,' buza: “Ngaba uziva ukuba bakuphatha ngendlela efanelekileyo?”
Ngokufanayo, endaweni yokuba, 'Andiyithandi into yokuba iqabane lakho lisela kakhulu,' zama indlela enje: 'Ndiqaphele ukuba indlela ___ yokuziphatha itshintsha kakhulu xa besela. Ngaba iyakukhathaza le nto? ”
Ngale ndlela, endaweni yokunyanzelisa ezakho izimvo kunye neemvakalelo, ubanika ithuba lokuba babonakalise imiba yolwalamano lwabo.
Ngokunyaniseka konke, ngamanye amaxesha banokuba sele bezazi ezi zinto ngokungazi, kwaye ngokuphakamisa le micimbi kunye neenkxalabo, unokwenza umntwana wakho ukuba abajonge kancinci, nokuba bayakucaphukela ngalo mzuzu.
Lindela ukumelana, kwanomsindo, kodwa yazi ukuba amagama akho aya kubafikelela kwinqanaba elithile.
Umyeni wam ucinga ukuba akukho nto ayenzileyo
Ekugqibeleni, kufuneka ubuye umva
Emva kokuba uthethile into ekufuneka uyithethile kwinzala yakho oyithandayo, lixesha lokuba ubuye umva kwaye bayivumele bayiphathe.
Ukuhlala ugxeka iqabane lomntwana wakho kuya kucaphukisa umntwana wakho, kwaye ubenze bahlukane nawe.
Khumbula ukuba bakhethe lo mntu ngezizathu ezininzi, kwaye ukungakhathali okungapheliyo kuwe kuya kuqinisa kuphela isisombululo sabo.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ukuba olu lulwalamano lokufikisa / lwamashumi amabini eminyaka, amathuba okuba ayiyi kuhlala ixesha elide.
Intabatheko idlula ngokukhawuleza, kwaye uninzi lwabantu abancinci luzama ubudlelwane obuninzi obahlukeneyo njengoko befunda ukuqonda ukuba bangobani, kwaye bafuna ntoni.
Sonke sifunde lukhulu kwiimpazamo. Nangona kunokuba nzima ukubabukela bethatha amanyathelo gwenxa, kwaye kubuhlungu nokubabona bejongana nentlungu nokwaphuka kwentliziyo, kubalulekile ukubavumela indawo yokuphazamisa kwaye ikhule kuyo yonke le nto.
Ukuxhatshazwa akwamkelekanga
Kanye njengenqaku lokugqibela, ukuba unyana okanye intombi yakho ihlukunyezwa liqabane labo, ke lelo libali elahlukileyo.
Ukuxhatshazwa akwamkelekanga, nokuba kungokwasemzimbeni okanye ngomlomo.
Unyana okanye intombi yakho isenokungakhululeki ukuthetha nawe malunga nokuqhubekayo, kodwa baya kulungela ukuthetha nabahlobo okanye umcebisi.
Ukuba ubona ubundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni busenzeka, ngakumbi ukuba kusekhaya lakho, unelungelo lokubiza amapolisa kwaye ungenelele.
Akuyi kuba mnandi kuye wonke umntu, kodwa kunokunciphisa umonakalo omkhulu ekuhambeni kwexesha.
