Uya kude uhambe phi xa abantwana bakho bebancinci ukubathintela ekufumaneni nayiphi na ingozi?
Ukuya eziphelweni zomhlaba, akunjalo?
Olu lwakhiwo lomzali olwakhelwe ngaphakathi lokukhulisa, ukukhusela, kunye nokubanceda lukhuni kwi-psyche yethu ngesizathu esivakalayo.
Ingxaki kukuba, xa sigxile kwindima yethu yokukhusela nokunceda abantwana bethu baphumelele ebomini, kunokuba nzima ukuyeka.
Kwiminyaka yobuzali behelikopta, xa yonke imiba yobomi bomntwana, ukusuka kumntwana omncinci ukuya kulutsha, ilawulwa ngokuncinci ukuya kwinqanaba le-n-th, kunzima kunakuqala ukusika intambo kwaye bayeke bazimele ngokwenyani xa sele bewelile. umqobo ebudaleni.
Kwaye ngekhe umise iwotshi. Ngequbuliso bayaphumelela kwikholeji, baqala ikhondo lomsebenzi, kwaye batshata.
Ukwamkela ukuba baye baba ngabantu abadala emva kwayo yonke loo minyaka yokubakhusela, ukubabonelela, ukulawula abancinci kwikhalenda yabo, kunye nokwenza amathuba abo kube lutshintsho olunzima lokwenza.
Akufani nokuba ngenye imini banoxanduva lwakho kwaye ngengomso uhlamba izandla zabo kubo, ubashiye beme beqinile ngeenyawo zabo ezimbini.
Endaweni yoko, yinkqubo ethe chu yokuyeka ngelixa usabonelela ngomnatha wokhuseleko xa kufuneka njalo.
Kodwa konke kulula kakhulu ukuba olu ncedo luqhubekekayo lube ngumqobo, lubathintele ekubeni ngabantu abadala abazimeleyo ngokwenyani.
Yiyo loo nto ngaphandle kokuba inikwe ezona njongo zintle, zothando.
Eli linqaku lokuncamathela ekwenzeni ukuba kusebenze.
Ke yintoni enika amandla kwaye yahluke njani ekuncedeni?
Kutheni kuyingozi?
Uyeka njani?
Funda ngokufumana iimpendulo…
Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kokunceda nokwenza amandla?
Ukwenza ukuba kusombululwe iingxaki zabanye ngendlela ephazamisa ukukhula kwabo koxanduva lwabantu abadala.
Ukuba, umzekelo, umntwana wakho omdala uthenga iTV entsha enkulu emshiya emfutshane ukuba ahlawule irente, isiphumo kufuneka ibe kukuphulukana nendlu.
Kodwa i-anrrrapter iyangena kwaye ihlawule irente, isuse iziphumo, kwaye akukho sifundo sibalulekileyo esifundwayo.
Umgca phakathi kokunceda nokwenza amandla kunokubonakala ngathi yindawo engwevu, kodwa kukho imiqondiso ecacileyo yokujonga ukuba ibonisa ukuba unika amandla umntwana wakho omdala:
-Bakhubeka kwingxaki ukuya kwingxaki kwaye babuyele kuwe ngalo lonke ixesha befuna uncedo.
-Besahlala ekhaya okanye ugubungela iindleko zabo zokuhlala kwenye indawo.
-Uziva ukoyiswa yimfuno eqhubekayo yokunceda umntwana wakho okhulileyo.
-Uzifumanisa uzincama ukuze ubalungiselele.
- Uhlala ukhathazekile ngokwenza into eza kubenzakalisa okanye ukubacaphukisa.
Wonke umzali ufuna kuphela okona kulungileyo kubantwana bakhe, nokuba bakwisikolo sabantwana abancinci, kwikholeji, okanye babhabhe indlwane.
Ukuthambisa indlela yabo lelona lithuku lemvelo. Kodwa xa sele bebadala, kunzima ukwamkela ukuba ngoku kufuneka bazenzele izigqibo kunye nokukhetha ubomi.
ilitye elibandayo steve austin umfanekiso
Xa bequbisana namaqhuma angenakuphepheka endleleni, ithuku elidala likhaba ngaphakathi kwaye ungena kwiparashute nesisombululo.
Ngokwenyani, nangona kunjalo, kufuneka bashiywe kwizixhobo zabo okanye baya kusilela ukukhula babe ngabantu abanoxanduva, abazimeleyo.
Ngokwenyani, abadingi kunikwa amandla, bafuna ukuxhobisa endaweni yoko.
Ukuba unokwenza iinguqu ezimbalwa, ubukhulu becala ngokubafundisa izakhono zobomi, unokubabeka kwindlela engcono eya kwinkululeko.
Oku kuyakukhulula kumthwalo osawuthweleyo ngoku kwaye kubenze bazive ngcono kakhulu ngeziqu zabo.
Kutheni ukwenza kube yingozi?
Ingcinga yokuvumela inzala esiye sayikhulisa ngobunono ukuba ingene kwilizwe lokwenyani, nazo zonke iingozi zalo kunye nemingxunya, kunokuba nzima ukwamkela.
Ngenxa yoko, uninzi lwabazali abakhusela ngokugqithiseleyo bawela kumgibe wokuqhubeka nokukhathalela imisebenzi efana nokuhlamba iimpahla, ukuhlawula amatyala, ukucoca, njl.
Ubomi ekhaya buba bukhuselekileyo, bulula, ungasathethi ke ngexabiso eliphantsi, ukhetho kwaye umntwana okhulileyo uya kuncipha kwaye akafane afune ukwazisa kwinyani ebandayo, nekhohlakeleyo yokuphila ngokuzimela.
Abo bantu bakhuselekileyo bashiyeka bengenazo izakhono zobomi eziyimfuneko ukuphatha umhlaba obangqongileyo xa ekugqibeleni beshiya indlwane evuyisayo, nokuba baneminyaka eli-18 okanye ingama-30.
Abakwazi ukwenza uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali okanye ukumelana nolawulo lwemihla ngemihla kuba khange bafunde ezi zakhono zibalulekileyo.
Abanye abazali babonakala befumanisa kulula kunokuba baqeqeshe abantwana babo. Bayalibala ukuba enye yeendima zabo zokuba ngumzali zibaluleke njengotitshala, hayi ukwenza izinto.
Oku kusenokubangelwa kukuba sonke siziva sifunwa. Kodwa ekugqibeleni oku ayizomfuno zomzali imalunga nekamva lomntwana kwaye ubanike izakhono zokuphumelela ngaphandle koncedo lwabazali.
Masijongane nayo, ukuba ukulungele ukuqhubeka nokubonelela ngoncedo, abantwana bakho abadala abanakulindelwa kwaye banokuziva benelungelo lokwenza oko.
Ayisiyonto yonakalisayo emntwaneni kuphela, kuhlala kukho isiphumo esibi kubazali abanjalo.
Kanjalo, isifundo esandula ukwenziwa uxele ukwaneliseka kobomi phakathi kwabazali abaqonda ukuba abantwana babo abadala bafuna inkxaso kakhulu.
Ukujonga emva kuluhlu olungentla kuya kukukhumbuza ngezizathu zokuba kutheni oku kunokuba njalo.
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Ukuzinceda uyeke.
Ukuqonda kwasekuqaleni ukuba unika umntu amandla akukho lula ukuba kwamkelwe.
Kuyinselele ukuseta kwakhona impendulo yakho ezenzekelayo kwaye ngakumbi xa ukholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba uyanceda.
Ukuqonda ukuba isenzo sakho esineenjongo ezintle eneneni sineziphumo ezichaseneyo nomntwana wakho okhulileyo kwaye ukutshintsha indlela oziphethe ngayo akukho lula ukuyenza.
Uyakufumana inkxaso yosapho kunye nabahlobo bakho ingabalulekanga, kodwa unokufumana indlebe yokumamela yomntu ongathathi hlangothi njengonyango oluncedo.
Ungayilungisa njani indlela yokuziphatha enika amandla.
Ngaphambi kokuzama ukulungisa le patheni yokuziphatha, kubalulekile ukuba uyiqonde.
Xa umkhwa wokuhlala unikezela ukwaneliseka kwangoko emntwaneni wakho ugxunyekwe, kulula ukuba ulahlekelwe yimiphumo yexesha elide.
Thatha umzuzwana ukuqaphela iziphumo zokungaphumeleli ukufundisa umntwana wakho ukupheka ukutya, ukuhlamba iimpahla, okanye ukuqhuba imoto. Baza kulahleka ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kwakho kwaye bakufumanise kunzima ukusebenza.
Ukufuna ukuziva ufuneka kwaye uluncedo yimvakalelo yendalo yomntu. Kodwa kufuneka uqonde ukuba oku akukho ngawe kumalunga nokukwazi komntwana wakho ukukhula kwixesha elizayo ngaphandle kokuxhomekeka kuwe.
Awuyi kuhlala ulapho, emva kwayo yonke loo nto.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuya kuba nzima ekuqaleni, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kunokwenzeka.
indlela yokufumaneka ngakumbi ngokwasemphefumlweni
Nangona kunjalo, isimilo osivumeleyo kwaye savuma ngokungagungqiyo ixesha elide asizukutshintsha ngaphandle komzamo.
Ngenxa yomntwana wakho, kubalulekile ukuba unamathele kwiinjongo zakho kwaye umkhuthaze ukuba azimele ngokupheleleyo.
Nangona bengayi kuyibona ngelo xesha, baya kuthi ekugqibeleni bayixabise inkululeko ebanika yona kunye nokonyusa ukuzithemba kwabo.
Ukuqala ukuqengqeleka kwebhola, kunokuba luncedo ukubamba intlanganiso yosapho. Unokuxoxa ngemicimbi enje:
-Ufunde ntoni ngokuvumela.
- Ungathanda njani ukukhuthaza ukuzimela komntwana wakho omdala.
-Uxanduva lwelungu ngalinye losapho kunye neendima ngaphakathi kwekhaya.
-Kutheni uziva ushukumayo losapho kufuneka luphononongwe kwakhona.
Ukukhuthaza umntwana wakho omdala ukuba azimele kwaye akwazi ukuzimela.
Nje ukuba umntwana angene ngokwenyani kwihlabathi labantu abadala, kuyacaca ukuba kufuneka bazabalaze ukuze bakwazi ukuzimela.
Ngelixa umzali onothando engazukubaphosa esitratweni ukuze bazenzele ngokwabo, umntwana uyafuneka ukuba abe nezicwangciso endaweni kunye nokuzimela ngokwasemalini nokuba yinjongo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, iingxaki zinokubakho ekhaya: ukuqhekeka kobudlelwane, iingxaki zengqesho, okanye impilo enkenenkene, umzekelo.
Kulungile lo gama nje kukho isicwangciso somdlalo sokuba umntwana aqalise kwakhona kwaye azimele kwakhona.
Ukujongana neengxabano akuyona indlela efanelekileyo yokukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba azimele. Into abayifunayo kuwe yinkxaso kunye nokuqonda.
Qiniseka, zolile, kwaye uzame ukungazilawuli ngokugqithileyo njengoko ubeka ulindelo lwakho.
Oku kuphela komdla wentliziyo yomntwana wakho kwaye kuya kubakhuthaza ukuba bamkele inkululeko:
Nye. Musa ukunika imali ngokungakhethi. Nayiphi na imali oyinikayo kufuneka ilungelelaniswe neenzame zomntwana zokuzimela.
Mbini. Ukuba basahlala ekhaya, vumelanani umda wokuba le nto ingaqhubeka ixesha elingakanani.
3. Bakhuthaze ukuba bancedise kwigumbi labo nakwibhodi yabo ngelixa besekhaya.
Zine. Cela ukuncedisa kwirenti kwigumbi lokuhlala kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala ukuba unakho ukwenza oku, ngokuhla okuvunyelwene ngcembe de babe nako ukuyigubungela ngokwabo.
5. Bakhuthaze ukuba beze nezabo izisombululo kunokuba bangene kwiingcamango zakho.
6. Khumbula ukuba awuyi kuthandwa xa ungagqithisi kwaye unike oko kuceliweyo. Zilungiselele ukwaliwa ngokwazi ukuba baya kuza kungekudala okanye kamva (kwaye mhlawumbi enkosi ngayo).
7. Zikhusele ngokwakha impendulo kwisicelo esingalindelekanga soncedo.
Musa ukunika impendulo kwangoko kwaye ubambe usuku okanye enye. Thenga eli xesha lokucinga ngokuthi, 'Kuya kufuneka ndixoxe notata / unyoko' okanye, 'Kuya kufuneka sicingisise ngale nto.'
Ngale ndlela uyabonisa ubumbano olumanyeneyo kwaye awuyi kungqubeka ekunikezeleni isicelo ngaphandle kokuqwalaselwa.
8. Ungaze ulibale ukuba ungasoloko usithi, 'Ndiyitshintshe ingqondo yam' malunga nesithembiso esenziwe ngaphambili.
Ukunceda umntwana wakho omdala ngotshintsho.
Umntwana wakho unokuxhathisa ekuqaleni, kwaye oko akuyi kuba lula kuwe.
Kuya kufuneka uhlale uqinile kulwazi lokuba umbono wakho njengomzali kukuthatha ukujonga okude.
Ukucaphukisa inqwelo yeapile ngoku yindlela efanelekileyo yokuphela. Nangona kunjalo, bakuva imibuzo yabo enxunguphalo enjengale, 'Kutheni undenza ububi nje?' Kwaye, 'Awusandithandi?' kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu.
Xa bebona inkxaso abayiqhelileyo ukuba bathathwe, kungokwemvelo ukuba bazokulwa.
Uya kudinga ukuba nemfesane, ukuqonda, kwaye womelele kakhulu - womelele ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungaphikisana neempikiswano zabo kwaye ubange ukuba abasakuthandi.
Utshintsho olunyanzelwayo luhlala lungonwabisi kwaye ukophula umjikelo wokuziphatha ngumceli mngeni.
Inyani yile, nangona kunjalo, ukuba abantu baya kutshintsha kuphela xa bekwimeko yokungonwabi kwaye abanandlela yimbi ngaphandle kokuthobela.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba unengxaki yokujamelana nokuphendula kabuhlungu kunye nomsindo womntwana wakho - kwaye nguwuphi umzali onenkathalo ongayi kuthi? -Kusenokubakho apho ingcali eqeqeshiweyo inokunceda khona.
Ukuba nabo bakujoyine kwiseshoni yonyango kunokuba yindlela elungileyo yokubenza babone umjikelo wendlela yokuziphatha evumayo kunye nokuba ayizukubanceda ngantoni ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Okanye ukubalungiselela ukuba babe nonyango lwabo kunokubanceda ukuba bafikelele kutshintsho.
Izibonelelo zokophula umjikelo onika amandla.
Xa uyekile ukuvumela umntwana wakho okhulileyo, awuzukuva kuphela ubunzima bokuphakanyiswa emagxeni akho, uya kuziva unebhongo kakhulu ngabo.
Yonke imizamo yakho iya kungqineka ilungile njengoko ubona umntwana wakho esenza ukhetho ebomini kunye nezigqibo oya kuzenza wena.
Uya kumangaliswa kukubona ukuba banakho ntoni ngesikhokelo esifanelekileyo.
Ukwenza utshintsho ekubenivumela ukuba ubaxhobise kuya kubanika inkululeko yokuba babe.
Ngaba kukho esinye isipho esixabiseke ngakumbi?
