Ayilulo lonke ubudlelwane bezothando obuhlala ngonaphakade. Ngapha koko, uninzi alwenzi njalo.
Kwaye kulungile.
Akufuneki sizibethe ngokwethu malunga nobudlelwane bufikelele esiphelweni, njengoko ubudlelwane obungaphumeleliyo abuthethi ukuba sisilele.
Lonke ulwalamano esinalo lubumba kwaye lusifundisa, kunjalo impumelelo ngendlela yalo.
Awunakho ukulawula ikamva. Ayilulo lonke ubudlelwane onabo obumiselwe ukuba buhlale ngonaphakade, kodwa banokuba nokumangalisa ngelixa behlala.
Kodwa ukuba uphupha ngokuba nolwalamano olume uvavanyo lwexesha kwaye luhlala ngonaphakade nangosuku, kunokuba luncedo ukuqonda ezona zizathu ziphambili zokuba kutheni ubudlelwane obuninzi buphela.
Ukuqhelana nezi kunokukunceda ubone iimpawu zesilumkiso kwangethuba, ukuze uzame ukucofa imingxunya kulwalamano olunokuthi lutshone, okanye uphephe ukubandakanyeka kubudlelwane obunokuba bufutshane, kwaye ungazisindisa ezinye iintlungu zentliziyo ezizayo.
Ngaba uRachel wayekhulelwe ngokwenene kubahlobo
Ezi zezinye zezinto eziphambili, izizathu ezisisiseko zokuba kutheni ubudlelwane busilela.
1. Wena nje ukuba ayihambelani.
Njengoko iminyaka ihamba kwaye uchitha ixesha elininzi kubudlelwane, izinto ezibonakala zingabalulekanga okanye zibonakala zinomtsalane xa uqala ukuthandana nomntu unokuqala ukuba ziintanda kwiziseko.
Ukuba ubuntu bakho kunye nabalinganiswa azihambelani enye kwenye , ninokuqala ukwenza omnye komnye angonwabi.
Oko, ewe, akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ubeneempawu ezifanayo.
Sonke siyazi ukuba zichasene ngamaxesha athile tsala, kwaye inokusebenza kakuhle ukuba, umzekelo, omnye wenu ngokubanzi ukhululekile kwaye omnye ulunge ngakumbi. Okanye omnye wenu unyanzelekile kwaye omnye ucwangcise ngononophelo.
Ukuba niyancedisana, umahluko phakathi kwenu unokuba namandla.
Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ukwahluka kubuntu kunokuthetha ukuba aninakuvumelana nantoni na okanye nifumane iimbilini zomnye nomnye rhoqo. Kungathetha ukuba ujonga ubomi ngokwembono eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo, kwaye usokola ukuqonda indlela ojonga ngayo iqabane lakho okanye iindlela zakho kwizinto.
Kancinci kancinci, ezi ntanda zinokujika zibe yimingxunya, kwaye ekugqibeleni ubudlelwane buye bahlukana.
2. Uneenjongo ezahlukeneyo zobomi.
Mhlawumbi ubuntu bakho bayafana, kodwa into oyifunayo ebomini yahluke kakhulu.
Iinjongo zakho zobomi, okanye ezona zinto ziphambili kuwe, zizinto ekufuneka uzidibanise neqabane lakho ukuba nobabini niza kuhlala kunye ixesha elide.
Umzekelo, mhlawumbi bafuna ukuhamba, okanye bachitha ixesha elide behlala phesheya, kwaye eyona nto ibalulekileyo kuwe kukusondela kusapho lwakho.
Mhlawumbi bajolise ekufumaneni imali, ngelixa ubona nje imali njengendlela yokufikelela esiphelweni, hayi injongo.
Ingayiyo ufuna ukutshata, kwaye abenzi . Mhlawumbi bafuna abantwana, kwaye wena awufuni.
Ukuba uneemvakalelo ezinamandla malunga nento oyifunayo ebomini kunye neqabane lakho elingabelani ngalo, elinokupela ukuphela kobudlelwane bakho.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ucace malunga nezinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kwaye uxoxe ngezi zinto kwangoko, ukuze kungabikho zimanga zimbi emgceni.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba bobabini baneenjongo ezahlukeneyo zobomi, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngononophelo malunga nokuba ingaba zinjalo na ukujongana nabaphuli yeyakho.
Sukuya kubudlelwane bebhanki kwinto yokuba uya kuba nakho ukutshintsha iingqondo zabo malunga nento ukuba uyazi ukuba awuzimisele ukutshintsha eyakho.
3. Unemigaqo eyahlukileyo.
Ngokwesiqhelo le yinto abantu abayifumanayo xa beqala ukwazi umntu omtsha, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kungakothusa xa sele uzibophelele kulwalamano.
Oku akusoloko kuyingxaki kumntu wonke, kodwa kunokudala ukwahlula okunzulu.
Umzekelo, ukuba uneenkolelo ezahlukileyo, ezomeleleyo zezopolitiko, unokufumana amaxesha olonyulo okanye iimeko eziphikisanayo zezopolitiko ukuba zininzi kakhulu ukuba ungazithwala, njengoko ungeke nje uyisongele ngentloko imibono yabo.
Kwaye ukuba omnye wenu uneenkolelo ezomeleleyo zonqulo okanye zokuziphatha, ninokuba nobunzima bobabini ukuze nivane.
snl barry gibb thetha umboniso
Iingxaki zinokuvela kwakhona ukuba uqala ukucinga ngokuba nabantwana kwaye uqonde ukuba awunakuvumelana kwiziseko zendlela yokubakhulisa.
Imigaqo yomntu ngamanye amaxesha inokutshintsha ngokusisiseko ekuhambeni kweminyaka okanye nangaphezulu, kunye nokungqubana okunokuthi oku kube sisizathu sokuba ubudlelwane busilele.
4. Anithembani.
Ngamanye amaxesha, oku kunokuba ngumphumo wento eyenzekayo kwixesha elidlulileyo ukwenza kube nzima ukuba omnye wakho athembe.
Kodwa rhoqo, ubudlelwane buphela ngenxa yokuba elinye iqabane liphula iqhina lokuthembana, kwaye nokuba bangazama kangakanani na, abatshatileyo abakwazi ukuliphilisa elo bhondi.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, kukungathembeki ngokwesondo okwenzakalisayo okanye okonakalisa ukuthembana phakathi kwabantu ababini. Kodwa zininzi ezinye izinto ezinokuludla ukholo lwakho kwiqabane lakho.
Mhlawumbi uye wafumanisa ukuba baxokile malunga nexesha labo elidlulileyo, okanye babuya emva kwakho, okanye bagcina ulwazi olubalulekileyo lwezezimali kuwe ... nokuba ngaba unetyala okanye ukwesaba.
Ukuba ukhethe ukwakha ubomi bakho nomntu, unelungelo lokwazi malunga nezinto ezithile, kwaye ukufumanisa ukuba bezikugcine ebumnyameni kunokuthetha ukuba unokufumana akunakho ukubeka ukholo lwakho kuzo kwakhona. Ngokukodwa xa babeka ikamva lakho okanye ukhuseleko lwakho emngciphekweni.
Uninzi lwezibini luyakwazi ukusebenza ukungathembeki kwangaphambili okanye ukungcatsha nokwakha ukuthembana, kodwa akukho lula ukuyenza. Kwaye ukungabikho kokuthenjwa sisizathu esikhulu sokuba ubudlelwane busilele.
5. Anithandani.
Njengoko iminyaka idlula, uthando luyatshintsha kwaye luyaguquka.
Uthando olunomdla oziva ngalo xa uqala ukudibana nomntu lungaqala ukuphela, kodwa kufuneka lutshintshwe luthando olunzulu kunye nothando oluqinileyo lomntu omkhethileyo oza kuchitha ubomi bakho kunye naye.
Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, uthando lunokuphela ngokupheleleyo. Kunokubakho into ebangela ukuba nijongane ngokwahlukileyo, okanye unokuphelelwa luthando ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile.
Ukuba uthando luphelile ngokwawo, kunokuba nzima ukwamkela ukuba ubudlelwane buqhubekile, kodwa akukho mntu kufuneka aphile ngaphandle kothando ebomini babo.
6. Omnye kuni nobabini woyika.
Ixesha elide, ubudlelwane obunzulu bunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo. Inokuba luloyiko lokuzinikela oluza phakathi kwakho, kodwa kuhlala kukoyika ukonzakala.
Ukuba kubudlelwane, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yinto enkulu. Ubeka ukuthembela kwakho komnye umntu ngokupheleleyo kwaye uyamvumela ukuba adilize zonke iindonga ozakhe ngononophelo.
Ukuwa eluthandweni kuyingozi. Kuba nantoni na enokwenzeka.
Banokukushiya, okanye into enokwenzeka kubo. Asisoze sazi ukuba yintoni elinde kwikona, kwaye amathuba okuba njalo uthando luya kusibangela iintlungu kunye nokuzisa uvuyo.
Kutheni i-goldberg ishiye i-wwe
Akufuneki siphila ubomi bethu sisoyika esihlalweni somqhubi, kodwa ukuba ubudlelwane bufikelela esiphelweni, inokuba kungenxa yokuba elinye okanye omabini amaqabane akakwazanga ukoyisa uloyiko lwabo.
7. Omnye wenu nobabini niyadlula ebunzimeni.
Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba bangathandana kangakanani abantu ababini, izinto zinokwenzeka ebomini ezingena phakathi kwabo.
Ukuba omnye okanye bobabini bahamba ngokweemvakalelo, ezobuqu, ezobuchwephesha, okanye iingxaki zemali, uxinzelelo kubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha lunokuba lukhulu kakhulu.
Ke, khumbula ukuba ayisoloko ingumba osisiseko kunye nolwalamano ngokwalo olunokukhokelela esiphelweni.
Singabantu kuphela, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, uthando esiluva ngomnye umntu alunakusinda kwimeko ebuhlungu.
8. Uyakhula ngokwahlukana.
Njengabantu, sonke sikwimeko engaguquguqukiyo yokuhamba. Sithanda ukucinga ngathi njengezinto ezizinzileyo, kodwa sihlala sitshintsha, sikhula, kwaye siguquka njengoko iminyaka ihamba.
Sakheke ngamava esinawo kunye nabantu esidibana nabo. Kwaye oko kunokuba yinkohliso xa kufikwa kubudlelwane.
Umntu okhoyo ngoku unokungafani kangako nomntu owawunguye xa wawudibana neqabane lakho, kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba baye badlula kutshintsho olugqithisileyo.
Oko akusoloko kungumba. Ninokukhula kwaye niphumelele kunye, nixhasane kwaye nifunde into entsha ngomnye umntu yonke imihla.
Kodwa usenokwahlukana, uphuhlise izinto onomdla kuzo, imigaqo-siseko, izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka, iinjongo ...
Nokuba ubufezeke kangakanani omnye komnye xa udibana, akukho siqinisekiso sokuba uyakuhlala unjalo ngonaphakade.
9. Omnye okanye nobabini ninolindelo olungeyonyani komnye.
Kukho izinto ezithile esinokuzilindela ngokufanelekileyo kumaqabane ethu - ukunyaniseka, ukuthembeka, imbeko… kwanezinto ezincinci ezinje ngokusazisa xa befika ekhaya emva kwexesha.
Kodwa zininzi nje izinto ekungekho ngqiqweni ukuzilindela kwiqabane lethu.
Xa ulindele ukuba into yenziwe ngendlela yakho kunye nendlela yakho kuphela, uwelele ekuziphatheni okulawulayo.
Akukho mntu uya kuze akwazi ukuphila ngokwemigangatho yakho okanye enze izinto ngendlela othanda ukuba yenziwe ngayo ngalo lonke ixesha. Kwaye oko kuya kukhokelela ekuphoxekeni kwinxalenye yakho.
Ngaphezulu, iqabane lakho kusenokwenzeka ukuba liziva likucaphukele ngenxa yokuba ubonakala ngathi ufuna ukubatshintshela kulo mbono ungafikelelekiyo wokugqibelela.
Ekugqibeleni, ukudana kwakho kunye nenzondo yabo iya kuqhuma, kwaye konke oko kuya kushiyeka kukungqubeka komngxunya apho ubudlelwane babukade bukho.
10. Omnye wenu uyazingca.
Ubudlelwane obusempilweni bubuhlakani-mhlawumbi abungalingani ngokugqibeleleyo lonke ixesha, kodwa busondele kakhulu.
Kodwa ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho nenza ngokuzingca, kuyakubeka uxinzelelo olungenakuphepheka kulwalamano.
Ukuzingca kunokuba liqabane elinye elingabuthathi ngokwenene ubunzima balo malunga noxanduva olusebenzayo lokuqhuba ikhaya kunye nobomi.
Ingabonisa ukungaze ubeke iimfuno zomnye umntu kuqala, naxa bephantsi koxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kwezinye iindawo zobomi
Uxolo kakhulu ukuva malunga nezicatshulwa zakho zelahleko
Isenokuba kukungavumi ukulalanisa kukhetho olwenziwe ngokudibeneyo kunye nokunyanzelisa ukufumana indlela yakho.
Ngokuziphatha kwabo, umntu ozingcayo ubonakalisa iqabane lakhe ukuba lixabise kangakanani kubo, kwaye oku kungakhokelela ekugqibeleni phakathi kwakho.
11.Awuhloniphani.
Intlonipho yinto esiyibonisayo phantse kuyo yonke into esiyenzayo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ayiyiyo imbeko esiyibonisayo, kodwa kukungahloniphi. Kwaye xa imbeko ingekho, ubudlelwane abuphilanga.
Ngoku, ezinye izibini zinokulawula ukuhlala kunye nokuba elinye okanye omabini amaqabane akanantlonelo ngomnye (kwaye ayibonisi), kodwa olo lwalamano aluzukuvuya.
Kungenzeka ukuba umntu oziva engahlonitshwa uya kufuna ukuphuma kubudlelwane ukuba akaboni kuphucuka kwimeko emva kokuthetha.
Ukungabikho kwembeko kuyityhefu kwaye kunokungena ngokulula emanzini axhaphazayo ukuba indlela yokuziphatha engenantlonelo ivumelekile ukuba iqhubeke ngaphandle kokuphikiswa.
12. Awunakho ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo nomnye nomnye.
Unxibelelwano olulungileyo lusisiseko sobuhlobo. Zihamba kunye. Awunakho ukuba nolwalamano olusempilweni ngaphandle kwesakhono esifanelekileyo sokunxibelelana nabanye.
Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba kufutshane njengoko unokucinga ukuba ukhona, isibini senziwe ngabantu ababini abahlukileyo abangakwaziyo ukufunda iingqondo zabanye okanye bazive baziva njani.
Amagama ngumjelo phantsi apho iingcinga zethu kunye neemvakalelo zethu ziya kwiqabane lethu. Kwaye xa singakwazi ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo, asikwazi ukubonisa iimfuno zethu kunye neemfuno zethu.
Ukungathethi kakuhle okanye ukungabikho konxibelelwano kukhokelela kukungaqondani, ukukhathazeka, kwaye ekugqibeleni kungquzulwano.
Xa unxibelelwano luqhawuka ngokupheleleyo, ubudlelwane abunakuhlala ixesha elide. Omnye okanye omabini amaqabane aza kutsala iplagi kungekudala.
13. Nibekek 'ityala ngako konke.
Xa kusenzeka into ebekungafanelekanga ukuba yenzekile, okanye xa isenzeka ngokwahlukileyo ngendlela obungathanda ngayo, lityala likabani?
Ukuba impendulo yakho kulo mbuzo ihlala iyimpazamo yeqabane lakho, kukho ukuqhekeka okukhulu kwiziseko zolwalamano lwakho.
Nini amaqabane asola omnye nomnye ngayo yonke into , kukhokelela kwingqumbo, unxunguphalo, ingqumbo, kunye nolunye uluvo lweemvakalelo ezinzima.
Ezi mvakalelo zitshitshisa konke okulungileyo okunokubakho kubudlelwane kude kungabikho nto iseleyo kwaye ubudlelwane busilela.
Awunakho nje ukuba nobudlelwano obuphilileyo nobusebenzayo apho elowo nomnwe wakho wobutyala elungiswe ngokuqinileyo kwiqabane lakhe. Nobabini kufuneka nithathe uxanduva ngezenzo zenu kunye nokuphendula kwengqondo kwizenzo zomnye.
umyeni wam uhlala enomsindo kum
14. Omnye wenu ubambe ingqumbo.
Kuya kubakho amaxesha kubudlelwane bonke apho umntu omnye acaphukisa omnye. Oku kungenzeka rhoqo, okanye ngokufuthi, kodwa kuyenzeka.
Uxolelo sisixhobo esibalulekileyo sokugcina ubudlelwane. Ukuba awukwazi ukuxolelana ngala maxesha xa umda uwele kwaye kubangelwa yintlungu, ungalindela njani ukuba uthandane, uhloniphane kwaye uthembane?
Kuba, uyabona, ingqumbo iyityhefu kubudlelwane. Inokuba ityhefu esebenza kancinci, kodwa ekugqibeleni ibangela konke okuhle malunga nolwalamano ukuba kufe.
Kwaye xa oko kusenzeka, ubudlelwane buphelile.
Khumbula: ulwalamano lunokuba lusilele, kodwa awukaphumeleli.
Njengoluntu, sihlala sijonga kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane obuphela njengokusilela. Xa, enyanisweni, ezinye ubudlelwane nje azenzelwanga ukuba zihlale ngonaphakade.
Abantu bangangena ebomini bethu ixesha elifutshane kwaye basinike uthando kunye nolonwabo, de kube lixesha lokuba siqhubeke.
Into ebalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule kukuba ubudlelwane obungaphumelelanga abuthethi ukuba usilele. Ngayiphi na indlela.
Into yokuba ungakhange ukwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane buhamba xa bekungasekho nto ilungileyo kuni nobabini ayibonisi njengomntu, okanye ukubaluleka kwakho.
Kukho uthando olungaphaya kokuphambi kwakho kunokuba ungacinga. Linda nje ubone.
Ngaba ucinga ngokuphelisa ulwalamano lwakho okanye sele uqhubekile nokwahlukana? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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