Iqabane elinotyekelo lokungakhathali kulwalamano lucelomngeni omkhulu.
Ewe, ubundlongondlongo ngokuthe ngqo bunokoyikisa ngokumangalisayo kwaye butshabalalise ubudlelwane ngephanyazo, kodwa kuyacaca kwaye akunakwenzeka ukungahoyi, nokuba iqela elonzakeleyo alifuni kuyamkela loo nyaniso.
Ubundlongondlongo, kwelinye icala, kunokuba nzima ukujongana nabo kubudlelwane kuba ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba yinto enzima ukuyichaza okanye ukuyithetha.
Iqela elinetyala ngamanye amaxesha lingayenza ngokungacwangciswanga, kwaye ikwayinto ekulula kakhulu ukuyala.
Kodwa inokucotha kancinci isiseko sobudlelwane, ngamanye amaxesha ukuzisa ngokupheleleyo.
Kodwa yintoni kanye kanye ubundlongondlongo?
Yiyiphi eminye imizekelo yalo kubudlelwane?
Kwaye le ndlela yokuziphatha inokusondela kwaye ilawulwe njani ukuze ingabangeli ezinye iingxaki phakathi kwenu?
Funda ukuze ufumane.
Imizekelo eli-12 yoBundlobongela bokudlula kubudlelwane
Ubundlongondlongo nje bungachazwa njengokuziphatha okungalunganga okuboniswa kukungafuni ukunxibelelana.
Kukuziphatha okungazithembi, xa umntu esala ukujongana nengxaki ngqo.
ujonge ntoni kubudlelwane nomfana
Umntu onetyala loku uyakuthetha kuphela ngobukrakra ngokungangqalanga, mhlawumbi ngokugculela, okanye ngokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo.
Batyekele ekunikezeleni umboniso wokuziphatha kakuhle okanye okuhle kuwe ngaphandle, ngeli xesha uzama ukukwenza ukuba ubandezeleke kancinane okanye kancinci- nokuba uyazi okanye ungazi.
Nayi eminye imizekelo yobundlongondlongo nje kubudlelwane. Ukuba uyaziqonda naziphi na zazo kwiindlela iqabane lakho eliziphatha ngayo kuwe, luphawu olucacileyo lokuba kukho imiba ethile phakathi kwenu efuna ukusetyenzwa.
1. Bayaluyeka lonke uxanduva lwezigqibo ezibalulekileyo.
Ukuba kukho ungquzulwano phakathi kwakho kwaye ujongene nemeko entsonkothileyo, impendulo yabo esemgangathweni kukushenxisa ngokupheleleyo, ukuze ushiyeke usombulula ingxaki ngokwakho.
Oku kunokubangela iingxaki ezinzulu okwexesha elide, ubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo konke malunga nokwabelana ngomthwalo kunye nokuxhasana, kwaye iqabane lomntu onobukrwada lingaziva lilahliwe.
2. Bayarhoxa ngokusondeleyo.
Babonisa ukungakuthandi kwakho ngokuthi ekubambezela uthando lwabo oluqhelekileyo ngokwasemzimbeni kuwe , nokuba zii-caresses, ukwanga, ukwangana, okanye enye into eyenye.
Babonakala ngathi basebenzisa uthando lomzimba, okanye ukungabikho kwalo, njengoluhlobo lomvuzo okanye isohlwayo ngokuziphatha kwakho.
3. Bayarhoxa ngokweemvakalelo.
Xa kukho imiba kubudlelwane bakho, impendulo yabo emiselweyo kukubeka izithintelo zabo ngokweemvakalelo ukuze ungakwazi ukufikelela kuzo kwelo nqanaba.
Bayakohlwaya ngokusika ngokweemvakalelo.
4. Banqabile ukubonisa umsindo wabo ngokugqithisileyo.
Iqabane elingenalusini lihlala linomsindo ngengqondo yeklasikhi, nokuba kungenxa yokuba boyika imvakalelo, okanye abayazi nje indlela yokuyibonisa ngendlela esempilweni.
Bakhetha ukuyikhupha kwezinye iindlela, ngokungathanga ngqo.
5. Basebenzisa uburharha obutshaba.
Bahlala behlekisa, okanye bathetha iziqhulo ezinobutshaba, kwaye bahleke xa usabela kakubi. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, babedlala nje.
Banokukuqhula ngento ethile okanye benze amagqabaza malunga nendlela okhangeleka ngayo okanye oziphethe ngayo.
6. Baninika unyango olungathethiyo.
Olu luphawu lokuziphatha oluqhelekileyo lokuziphatha. Isenokuba kukungathethi cwaka, okanye banokuya kude benze ngathi awubonakali kumzamo wokukohlwaya ngento oyenzileyo.
7. Bayacaphuka kwaye abaze bajongane neemvakalelo zabo.
Impendulo yabo emiselweyo kwimeko apho bangafumani indlela yabo kukushukuma. Awuzange ubazi ukuba bathembeke malunga xa beziva bekhathazekile okanye benomsindo.
8. Zicofa ngabom amaqhosha akho.
Bayayazi nje indlela yokukufaka umoya, ukuze ube ngoyena ubonakala enomsindo, hayi bona.
ungazihlanganisa njani ngengqondo
Ukuba wenze into abangayithandiyo, baya kukuqhubela ekubeni uphelelwe ngumsindo ukuze bakwazi ukudibana njengeqela elonzakeleyo.
9. Zibamba ulwazi ekufuneka ulwazile.
Enye indlela abanokuhlasela ngayo kukugcina ulwazi olubalulekileyo kuwe ukuze babangele iingxaki phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Ukwenza uzive ukhutshiwe kwaye ungathembekanga, okanye wenze ubomi bakho bube nzima ngokugcina ulwazi kuwe luluhlobo oluqhelekileyo lokuhlasela.
10. Badlala ixhoba.
Bakwazi ukuguqula yonke into ngeenxa zonke ukuze kubonakale ngathi lihlabathi, kwaye wena, uhlala ubakhetha, kwaye bangamaxhoba angenakulindeleka, angenakuzinceda.
Banokuzibaxa izinto zobuqu, ezobuchwephesha, okanye ezempilo okanye bazenze babenamandla okanye babuthathaka.
11. Bayayazi indlela yokubetha nje apho kubuhlungu khona.
Bazi kakuhle ukuba buthini ubuthathaka bakho, kwaye abanazintloni ngokujongana nokubetha okuphantsi abaziyo ukuba kuya kubetha amanqaku xa befuna ukukukhathaza.
12. Bahlala bephika isimilo sabo.
Ukuba ubaxelela ukuba bakhangeleka benomsindo okanye bacaphukile, bayakuyiphika ngqo, ngeli lixa baqhubekekayo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
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Amanyathelo ama-8 okujongana nokuziphatha okungahambelaniyo nobundlobongela kubudlelwane
Oko kunokuba luluhlu olubuhlungu ukuba ulifunde, kodwa ngethemba lokuba awukho kubudlelwane nomntu ophawula zonke ezilishumi elinambini zezo bhokisi.
Ngoku siqwalasele imizekelo embalwa, lixesha lokuba uqwalasele indlela onokuthi uqhubele phambili ngayo ukuba usebudlelwaneni nomntu obonisa olu hlobo lokuziphatha rhoqo.
1. Zibuze ukuba ulwalamano lufanelekile na.
Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile ukuzibuza ukuba ingaba ukulungele ngokwenene ukubeka umsebenzi ofunekayo ukoyisa lo mbambano phakathi kwakho.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, amathuba okuba iqabane lakho liza kugcina ukuthambekela okungaphaya kobundlongondlongo ngonaphakade.
Awunakulindela ukuba batshintshe indlela yabo yokusondela kwimicimbi ngobusuku, Ukufumanisa indlela eya phambili kuya kuthatha unyamezelo nothando olukhulu kuni nobabini.
Ukuba uyabathanda kwaye uzibophelele kwikamva nabo, ke umsebenzi onzima kufuneka ube ulifanele.
Kodwa uthando alusoloko lwanele. Ungamthanda umntu kwaye usakholelwa ekubeni ukubashiya yeyona nto ilungileyo kuni nobabini.
Ewe, ukuba awubathandi, akukho sizathu sincinci sokuba uhlale.
2. Cinga ngendlela ophendula ngayo ngoku.
Indlela ophendula ngayo kukungaziphathi kakuhle kumlingane wakho iya kuba nefuthe elikhulu kwindlela abaziphatha ngayo kamva.
Ngaba unyuka uye kwisithiyelo sabo?
Ngaba uyazivumela ukuba ziziphathe kakubi?
Ngaba uyayenza indlela abaziphethe ngayo ngenxa yokuba ungakwazi ukumelana nembambano?
Ngaba uziva ulawulwa kwaye unqongophele kuyo?
Ngaba ufuna imvume yeqabane lakho?
Okanye ngaba uyakwazi ukubona indlela yokuziphatha kwaye uphephe ukuyivumela?
Ukubeka umnwe kwindlela ophendula ngayo ngoku kuya kukunceda ubone ukuba loluphi utshintsho ekufuneka ulwenzile ukuze nobabini nenze inkqubela.
3. Zoba apho ukhoyo umgca wakho.
Kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba uza kwamkela ntoni kwiqabane lakho malunga nokuziphatha okungalawulekiyo, kunye nokuhamba kakhulu.
Kwixesha elizayo, kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukunamathela kuloo mgca kwaye ukulungele ukuxelela iqabane lakho xa bewela ngaphezulu.
Bazise ngokuthe ngqo ukuba zeziphi izinto ozilindeleyo kwaye ziziphumo zini kuni nobabini ukuba abayidlali eyabo indima.
4. Qiniseka ukuba ukulungele ukumelana nale meko.
Kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba ukubiza iqabane lakho ngaphandle kokuziphatha gwenxa akuyi kuba ntle.
Iqabane lakho lisetyenziselwa ukunqanda ukungqubana, ngoko ke ngekhe baphendule konke oko kuwe bafuna ukujongana nemeko ngqo.
Banokurhoxa, bakhale, bayeke etafileni okanye bacaphuke ngawe, kwaye kuya kufuneka uyilungele loo nto.
5. Yiba nokuzithemba.
Eyona ndlela yokujongana nomntu ongenamdla kukuphendula ngokuzithemba nangokucaca.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba lixesha lokujongana nokuziphatha, kuya kufuneka ukuba ubonakalise ngokucacileyo, ngokukhethekileyo ngaphandle kokufumana imvakalelo.
Bazise ngoko ukulindeleyo, kwaye ubaphinde xa kukho imfuneko.
6. Sukusebenzisa amagama athi 'passive ndlongondlongo.'
Akukho ndlela ikhawulezayo yokuhlukanisa iqabane lakho kunokubaxelele ngokuthe gca ukuba ubathatha njengabantu abanoburharha.
Endaweni yokusebenzisa eli binzana, jolisa kwindlela indlela yokuziphatha kwabo ekuchaphazela ngayo okanye ekuziva ngayo.
Banike umbono wokuba kunjani ukuba kwisiphelo sokwamkela.
7. Wenza wena.
Xa usebudlelwaneni nomntu onetyala lokuziphatha, ngamanye amaxesha ungagcina uqhuba ubomi bakho ngokubangqongileyo.
Yonke into iba malunga nokubagcina bonwabile kwaye ubayekise.
Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuba basebenze ngokuziphatha, kuyekisiwe.
Kuya kufuneka uqhubeke nobomi bakho, wenze izicwangciso kwaye uphile ubomi bakho ngeyona ndlela uyazi ngayo, ukuchitha ixesha nabo bonke abantu obathandayo kwaye ugxile kwiinjongo zakho.
Bangasokola ukukubona uhamba phambili ngelixa bachitha ixesha labo bekrokrela, kwaye kwimeko leyo, inokuba sisiphelo sobudlelwane bakho.
Kodwa banokufumana intlonipho entsha kuwe, okuthetha ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bunokuqala ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kwaye buphumelele.
8. Hlala upholile, uzolile, kwaye uqokelele.
Oku akuyi kuba lula, kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha iphucule kwaye ithathe kancinci kubudlelwane bakho, kubalulekile ukuhlala uzolile xa uxoxa ngayo.
Ngale ndlela, unokugcina umhlaba ophakamileyo, kwaye ungaze ubanike ithuba lokukutyhola ngokungabi nangqiqo okanye ukuvuthela oku ngokungalinganiyo.
Ukuhlala uzolile, kokukhona ugcina isandla esingaphezulu.
ungaxelela njani ukuba umfana ufuna ngesondo
Ngale ndlela unethuba elingcono kakhulu lokufikelela kubo kunye nokuziphatha ngendlela enokuthi, ukuba ishiywe ingakhange ikhangelwe, itshabalalise ubudlelwane bakho.
