Ngaba uqhele ukuqala ukwenza izigqibo ezingalunganga ngenjongo kwindawo ethile kubudlelwane?
iinyani ezimnandi malunga nam emsebenzini
Mhlawumbi uqala ukutyhala iqabane lakho okwesibini uziva ngathi uyasondela.
Nokuba yintoni, uninzi lwethu luye lwonakalisa ubudlelwane ngaxa lithile.
Ayisiyo isigqibo esisempilweni, kwaye nokuba yile nto ubuyinjongo okanye hayi, inokuphazamisa ubudlelwane kwaye ibangele imicimbi enzulu.
Masibaleke ukuba kutheni usonakalisa ubudlelwane, imiqondiso ekufuneka uyijongile, kunye nendlela yokuqhubela phambili kule ndlela uziphatha ngayo-kunye nendlela yokugcina iqabane lakho liphakathi, kunjalo!
Kutheni uchitha ubudlelwane bakho?
Akukho sizathu sinye sokuba kutheni abantu bechitha ubudlelwane, kodwa nazi ezinye zeenkcazo ezinokubakho xa kufuneka ungazi ukuba kutheni usenza oko.
1. Uzithobile.
Ukuba awuzithandi ngokwenene, makungabikho nto yokuzithanda, usenokubuza ukuba kutheni kwaye kutheni omnye umntu enokukuthanda.
Unga cinga awulungelanga ngokwaneleyo kubo , kwaye uziqinisekise ukuba abahlali nawe ngezizathu ezifanelekileyo. Unokuzixelela ukuba zilungile ndiyakusebenzisa de kufike umntu ongcono, umzekelo.
Ke, ngenxa yokuba uyaziqinisekisa ukuba ubudlelwane buphelile, uthatha isigqibo sokukhawulezisa ukwahlukana ekugqibeleni ngokubonisa eminye yemiqondiso engezantsi.
2. Ukhatyiwe ngaphambili.
Ukuba ukhe wehlelwa sisifo sentliziyo kwixesha elidlulileyo, usenokoyika ukwaliwa kwakhona.
Olu luhlobo lwe umba wokushiya kwaye ikuthumela kwimowudi yokuzikhusela ukusuka ekuhambeni. Ungaqala ukubeka iindonga okanye ukutyhala abantu kude ngaphambi kokuba bakwenzakalise.
Xa izinto ziqala ukuba nzulu, ungothuka kwaye ukhathazeke ngokuba konke kuya kuphela kwaye uya kuphinda ube nentliziyo ebuhlungu kwakhona. Uyabatyhalela kude ukuze, ukuba izinto ziyaphela, kungenxa yokuba wena bagqibe ekubeni kufanelekile, hayi kuba omnye umntu ekwalile kwakhona.
Ukulahlwa kwakho kwangaphambili kungenzeka ukuba kwakungekho ubudlelwane obuthandanayo, nokuba. Mhlawumbi omnye okanye bobabini abazali bakho bakuphethe kakubi, basilela ukukubonisa uthando olufunwa ngumntwana, okanye ebengekho kubo bonke okanye kwinxalenye yobuntwana bakho. Oku kunokuba nefuthe elikhulu kwindlela ojonga ngayo ubudlelwane kubomi bakho abadala.
3. Wena boyika ukusondelelana .
Ngekhe ubukhe waba kulwalamano olunzulu ngaphambili, okanye ubunokuba nobuntwana obukhohlisayo okanye imicimbi ethile yokusondelelana namaqabane adlulileyo nangasiphi na isizathu.
Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungajamelana njani nothando kunye nothando, unokuzibona sele uyala.
Oko kunokuthetha ukuba utyhale iqabane lakho kude, ukhethe iimfazwe ngaphandle kwesizathu, okanye uzivale ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kwaye ubanqande ekubonakaliseni umdla okanye uthando kuba ungazi ukuba ungathemba njani okanye ukwenze njani oko.
4. Wena uloyiko ukuzibophelela .
Nokuba kungasiphi na isizathu, umbono wokuzibophelela emntwini ixesha elide- onokubakho ebomini-uyakoyikisa.
Uziva u-claustrophobic xa ubudlelwane bufikelela kwinqanaba elithile, mhlawumbi xa nihlala kunye. Uziva ngathi unayo uzilahle kulwalamano , ngokuzimela kwakho kunye nokuzazisa kuthathwe kuwe.
Ke, ulwa umva kwaye utyhale kude neqabane lakho ukuze ufumane indawo. Ekugqibeleni, ucekisa izinto kuba ukunyaniseka, ukuzibophelela ngothando linyathelo nje kude kakhulu kuwe.
5. Ukhule ngedrama njengesiqhelo.
Ayibo bonke ubuntwana obugcwele uthando kunye nozinzo. Ukuba eyakho ibikhona, endaweni yoko, ibigcwele ungquzulwano kunye nomdlalo weqonga, kungafuneka ubandakanyeke kulo mdlalo ukuze ufumane ingqalelo oyifunayo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba ingqwalaselo elungileyo ayizukuvela, ingqalelo engeyiyo ngamanye amaxesha kuya kufuneka uyenze.
Ngoku, kubudlelwane bakho njengomntu okhulileyo, usenokuya kukhangela ingqalelo engeyiyo kwiqabane lakho kuba kuko konke okwaziyo.
Kwaye ke uphuma ngaphandle, uqalise umlo, kwaye ubangele idrama kuba yile nto ucinga ukuba ubomi kunye nobudlelwane bufana. Kodwa oku, ekugqibeleni, kubeka emngciphekweni ulwalamano olo ngaphandle kokulungiswa.
6. Isenokuba ngamathumbu akho azama ukukuxwayisa.
Ungaze uwajongele phantsi amandla we ithumbu lakho ! Ngamanye amaxesha, siyazi ukuba izinto azilunganga kubudlelwane bethu, kodwa siqhubekeka phambili kunjalo.
Kungenxa yokuba siyamthanda umntu nangona sisazi ukuba ubudlelwane abuphilanga, okanye kungenxa yokuba siyoyika ukuba sodwa okanye asifuni kuphelisa izinto ngesizathu esithile.
Ngamanye amaxesha senza izinto kwaye sonakalise izinto kuba iingqondo zethu ezingaziwayo zizama ngandlela zonke ukufumana indlela yokuphuma!
Ukuba asikakulungeli okanye asizimisele ukuphelisa ngabom izinto, ukuqonda kwethu kuya kusenza senze ngendlela enokuthi ibuphelise ubudlelwane kuthi.
Iimpawu ze-10 ukonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Ngoku ukuba simisele ezona zizathu ziphambili zokuba kutheni ungonakalisa ubudlelwane, makhe sihlolisise imiqondiso yokuba unguye ngokuqinisekileyo.
1. Ukhetha imilo engekho ngqiqweni.
Usenokukhathazeka okanye ube nexhala de ekugqibeleni ulwe ungafuni kwanto! Oku kunokukhawuleza kube ngumkhwa oqhelekileyo kwaye yindlela yakho (engalunganga) yokuvumela uxinzelelo lwakho kwiqabane lakho.
2. Uyabavalela ngaphandle.
Ungabakhathaleli, uthathe ixesha elide ukubuyela kubo, okanye uphephe ukusondelelana nabo. Nokuba yeyiphi na, ukuba ubeka iindonga ukuze zingangeni, uchitha ubudlelwane bakho nabo.
3. Uzama ukubenza babe nomona.
Ukuba uncokola nomntu wangaphambili okanye udlala ngothando nomnye umntu xa usazi ukuba kuya kwenza ukuba iqabane lakho lingakhululeki, kukho ithuba elinamandla lokuba uyenze ukonakalisa ubuhlobo bakho nabo.
4. Uyabakhohlisa.
Yeyiphi indlela elula yokuphelisa ubudlelwane ngaphandle kokukhohlisa iqabane lakho? Nokuba uyoyika ukuba bayakuqhatha kuqala okanye awukulungelanga ukuzibophelela, ukulala nomnye umntu kuyindlela yomlilo eqinisekileyo yokonakalisa izinto!
5. Uyabajongela phantsi.
Abanye abantu bonakalisa ulwalamano lwabo ngokwenza amaqabane abo azive engalunganga malunga nabo. Oku akunampilo, ukudlala amandla okuyityhefu kwaye akulunganga kakhulu komnye umntu. Unokubathuka, wenze iziqhulo ngabo, okanye ucebise ukuba abakulungelanga.
6. Ufumana izizathu / izizathu zokuba uhambe.
Ukuba ufuna ukonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho, unokwenza izizathu zokuba kutheni ingasebenzi, uzixokisa (nabanye) ukwenza ukuba kube lula 'ukuphakama uhambe - nokuba akukho nyaniso!
7. Uphelisa izinto rhoqo.
Mhlawumbi ukhona rhoqo nokucima kunye neqabane lakho - uyathanda ukubagcina beqikelela, bakhumbuze ukuba ngubani umphathi, kwaye ubenze babuze ubudlelwane bakho ngalo lonke ixesha. Kwakhona, oku kukuziphatha okunetyhefu!
8. Uyala ukuzibophelela.
Ukuba urhoxisa imihla, uyala ukudibana nosapho, kwaye uhlala uphepha naluphi na uhlobo lokuzibophelela, wenzakalisa ubudlelwane bakho, nokuba uyazi okanye ungazi.
9. Ubakhanyisela ngegesi.
Kwakhona, oku kuyityhefu! Ukukhanyisa igesi kukuzama ukwenza umntu abuze ukuba uziva njani. Basenokukuxelela ukuba wenzakalise iimvakalelo zabo, kwaye uya kuyigxotha kwaye ubaxelele ukuba bayaphosisa kwaye yiphutha labo lonke.
10. Uhlala uthandana.
Ukuba awuzange ube kubudlelwane bexesha elide ngaphambili kwaye utyelele ngokulandelelana komhla, kunokuba kungenxa yokuba unomkhwa wokutshabalalisa lonke uqhagamshelo lweemvakalelo ozenzayo!
Kutheni umnumzana irhamncwa etyebe kangaka
Ungayeka njani ukonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Njengako konke ukuzikhulisa kunye notshintsho, inyathelo lokuqala kukuqonda into oyenzayo.
Ukuba ukwenzile oku kude kube kwinqaku, kukho ithuba elinamandla lokuba uvumile ukuba uchitha ubudlelwane bakho.
Ngoku, makhe sijonge amanyathelo amathathu amakhulu onokuwathatha ukuze uye phambili.
1. Phalaza iimvakalelo zakho.
Khawucinge ngoku ngoba uyazenza ezi zinto. Jonga ukuba le yinto enye okanye ngumkhwa. Cinga ngendlela esenza ukuba nabanye abantu bazive ngayo.
Ukuzazisa kubalulekile ekutshintsheni naluphi na uhlobo lokuziphatha, ke kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba olu tyekelo luvela phi.
Sidwelise ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokonakalisa ubudlelwane apha ngasentla, kodwa cinga malunga nokuba yeyiphi eyakho.
Thetha nomhlobo osondeleyo omthembileyo kwaye ubuze uluvo lwabo. Banokukhumbula into ongayithandiyo-njengomntu owakugatyayo xa wawusemncinci, okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngendlela okhangeleka ngayo, okanye impikiswano embi abazali bakho babekhe banayo!
Kubonakala ngathi izinto ezincinci ezinje zinokuhlala ezingqondweni zethu kwaye zenze 'ukubalisa' okanye imijikelezo yokucinga esiyifaka ngaphakathi njenge 'nyaniso.'
Siqala ukukholelwa kwezi zinto kwaye siphile ubomi bethu ngokufanelekileyo:
ndizifumana njani ukuba ndingubani
'Iqabane lam langoku liyakundilahla kuba ndihlala ndilahlwa.'
'Akukho mntu undifumana ndinomtsalane ngoko ke kufuneka ndibenzakalise ngaphambi kokuba bandixelele ukuba ndimbi.'
'Ukuba abazali bam abanakuba nolwalamano oluhle, olusempilweni, andinakuze ndibenabo!'
Uyabona ukuba ngokulula nje ezo zinto zincinci zibangela ukuba sibe ngamaxabiso esiphila kuwo?
2. Thetha neqabane lakho.
Oku kusenokwenzeka ukuba kuyothusa, ngakumbi ukuba uchonge iindlela zokuziphatha ezingalunganga ozibonakalise ujikeleze / kubo.
Ukuba uqaphele ukuba uyabatyhalela kude okanye ubathuke, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva unetyala kakhulu! Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuba uyiqondile le kwaye uzimisele ukwenza utshintsho.
Thetha neqabane lakho, kwaye yamkele ukuba imiba ethile yokuziphatha kwakho ayamkelekanga. Kubalulekile ukuba ungenzi izizathu zoku - ukuba ubonakalisile, kufuneka bazi ukuba uyaxolisa kwaye awuzukuphinda uyenze.
Unokuba nengxoxo eyahlukileyo malunga nokuba kutheni wenze ngolu hlobo, esiya kuthi singene kwiinkcukacha ezithe kratya apha ngezantsi. Okwangoku, bazise ukuba uyazi ngezenzo zakho, ukuba awuthetheleli isimilo sakho, kwaye uxolile ngokwenyani.
3. Funa uncedo lweengcali.
Sicebisa ukuba uthethe nengcali kule ndawo ukuba unako. Siyazi ukuba unyango alufumaneki kuwo wonke umntu, kodwa kufanelekile.
Kukho iindlela kunye nangaphezulu kwefowuni ukuba awukwazi ukuyenza ngobuqu.
Kunokuba luncedo ukuba nomntu onokuyibona imeko yakho ngokuchanekileyo kwaye akuncede kwiimvakalelo zakho nakuloyiko lwakho. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha udinga umntu oza kubiza isimilo sakho ngendlela enokuthi abantu abakuthandayo bangafuni okanye bangaziva bekwazi ukuyenza!
Ungathetha njani neqabane lakho.
Kulungile, yile biggie! Ayisiyo incoko emnandi ukuba nayo, kodwa sisiqingatha sesizathu sokuba ibaluleke kangako.
Nje ukuba uvume kwaye uxolise ngendlela owenze ngayo, ungaqala ufumane indlela eya phambili nabo - ukuba ugqibe kwelokuba ubudlelwane ngu eneneni into oyifunayo!
Usenokuba uqaphele, ewe, ukuba uyayihlambalaza ngenxa yokuba uyayazi ukuba ufuna ukuphuma kuyo. Kwimeko apho, kungcono ukuphelisa izinto ngoku.
Ukuba uza kuhlala, kufuneka unxibelelane ngokunyanisekileyo neqabane lakho malunga nokuba ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zivela phi na.
Ukuba kungenxa yokuba wena Ndiyoyika ukwaliwa , ungathatha amanyathelo kunye ukuqinisekisa ukuba Zombini uzive ukhululekile kwaye ukhuselekile kulwalamano.
Ninokuzibophelela nobabini ekuvuleni okungakumbi, ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunokuthenjwa ngakumbi, kwaye ngokuqhubekayo ujongana kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba nobabini niyonwabile kwaye niyonwaba nokuba zinjani izinto.
Le ncoko ikwanika ithuba elihle lokuxoxa ngezenzo zakho. Kufanelekile ukubazisa ukuba, ngelixa usasebenza ukuqonda nokuhlengahlengisa indlela oziphethe ngayo, unokwenza ezinye izinto ezidibana kakubi.
Kubalulekile ukuba bakwazi oku ngezizathu ezininzi…
Okokuqala, ukuze bathathe isigqibo malunga nokuba bafuna ukuhlala kubudlelwane okanye banganyamezelwa unyango olungenabulungisa.
Okwesibini, ukuze bakuqonde okwenzekayo kwaye basebenze nawe ukukunceda uyeke.
Okwesithathu, ukuze bazi ukuba ayibhekiseli kubo, ayisiyiyo eyakho, kwaye ayibonisi ubudlelwane bakho nabo.
Oku kuvumela ukuba bathathe isigqibo esifanelekileyo kwaye yindlela ethembekileyo yokwabelana ngendlela oziva ngayo malunga nolwalamano lwakho.
ndilahlekile kwezam iingqondo
Banokuthatha isigqibo sokuba abakulungelanga ukuncama izinto ezithile ngelixa belinde wena ukuba usebenze ngako konke.
Basenokungafuni ukuzibeka emngciphekweni wokuba uphinde ubakhohlise, umzekelo, okanye banokuziva bexabisekile kwaye bafuna umntu okulungeleyo ukubamkela njengoko benjalo.
Oku kufanelekile kwaye kuxhomekeke kubo, kwaye ngabo bodwa, ukwenza ukhetho. Awunakho ukubanyanzela ukuba bahlale okanye balawule iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukuba bakhetha ukuhlala, banokuthi ngoku bazi ukuba unokwenza izinto ongaziqondiyo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba umsebenzi onzima uphelile! Usafuna ukufumana indlela yokusebenza ukuze ube nolwalamano olusempilweni, nolonwabo-kunye nabo, kunye nawe.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungayeka njani ukonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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