Ke uziva ngathi awubanele ngokwaneleyo…
Njengokuba ungekho kwimigangatho yabo…
Njengokuba banokwenza ngcono kakhulu kunawe, kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba kutheni bejinga.
Oku, ngelishwa, ayisiyonto ingaqhelekanga. Abantu abaninzi bazifumana bekubudlelwane apho baqinisekile ukuba amaqabane abo ngandlela ithile azithoba ngokuba kunye nabo.
Bangazi nzulu ezantsi ukuba konke kusentloko yabo, kodwa abasenako ukushukumisa imvakalelo, kwaye isoyikisa ukuqhuba umda phakathi kwabo kunye neqabane labo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngowuphi umntu ofuna iqabane lakhe licinge ngale ndlela? Ngubani ofuna ukubanomntu obeka isiseko, kwaye angabinako ukuzixabisa?
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buza kuhlala buhleli kwaye buphumelele, kufuneka uxelele uluvo lokuba ngandlel 'ithile ungaphantsi. Ngenxa yakho zombini.
Kutheni uJames charles ephulukana nababhalisi
Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile kukufumanisa ukuba zivela phi ezi mvakalelo zokujongela phantsi.
Kutheni le nto uziva ungafanelekanga kuthando lweqabane lakho?
Emva koko, siza kujonga indlela onokujamelana ngayo nale mvakalelo ngqo kwaye ufikelele ekuqondeni ukuba wena are ilungele wonke umntu.
Izizathu ezi-7 zokuba uziva ungafanelekanga kwiqabane lakho
Into yokuqala ekufuneka siyikrwelele kukuba akukho nanye kwezi zizizathu ezisemthethweni zokuziva ngathi iqabane lakho likulungele, kuba azikho, yiyo loo nto.
Akukho mntu ukhe ‘alunge’ kakhulu komnye.
Kodwa kunini apho abantu bakhe bafune izizathu ezisemthethweni zokuziva ngale ndlela siziva ngayo?
Asinangqondo ngokwendalo, kwaye sizisiphumo sawo onke amava asibumbayo.
Kwaye kubalulekile ukuba uqwalasele oyena nobangela wezi ndlela zokuziphatha ezingenangqondo kunye neengcinga ukuze ukwazi ukusebenza kuzo.
1.Ube nokuzithemba kwakho unkqonkqoza njengomntwana.
Oku kunokubangelwa ngamava owawunawo njengomntwana oko kwakuthetha ukuba awuzange umisele inqanaba lokuzithemba.
Amava esinawo ebuntwaneni abumba indlela esicinga ngayo kwaye sizibona thina ubomi bethu bonke.
Mhlawumbi uxelelwe ukuba awulunganga ngokwaneleyo, okanye wenziwa wacinga njalo ngamava athile owaphila kuwo.
2. Uyoyika ukwaliwa.
Ukuziqinisekisa ukuba awulunganga ngokwaneleyo emntwini ngamanye amaxesha sisizathu sokubeka iindonga zeemvakalelo xa usoyika ukuzivumela zingene entliziyweni yakho.
Ukuba unoloyiko lokwaliwa ngulo mntu, isenokuba yimpendulo yakho emiselweyo ukuze uziqinisekise ukuba intshabalalo ngenxa yokungoneliseki kwakho endaweni yokoyika.
3. Uye wehliswa luthando ngaphambili.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ezi mvakalelo zokungoneliseki ziziphumo zamava kubudlelwane bangaphambili.
Mhlawumbi uyeke ukulinda kwakho kwixesha elidlulileyo kwaye wazivumela ukuba ukholelwe ukuba uyakufanelekela uthando lomlingane, kuphela ukuba konke kuphoswe ebusweni bakho.
Ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bangaphambili abuzange busebenze ngenxa yento ethile ebisilela ngakwelinye icala, enokuthi idlale indima kwiimvakalelo ohlangabezana nazo ngoku.
4. Awuziva ukhuselekile kubudlelwane bakho.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukukhathazeka ngokungalungeli omnye umntu sisiphumo sokuziva, okanye ukwenziwa ukuba uzive ungakhuselekanga kubudlelwane.
Oku kunokubangelwa kukungazithembi nokuzithemba, kodwa isenokuba ngenxa yokuba iqabane lakho lingenzi indima yalo ukuze uzive ukhuselekile.
5. Awunayo inkxaso yemvakalelo oyifunayo kubudlelwane bakho.
Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho alikuniki inkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye nokuqinisekisa okudingayo kubudlelwane bakho.
Endaweni yokulindela okungakumbi kubo, uthathe isigqibo sokuba unobangela weengxaki phakathi kwakho kukuba awulungelanga ngokwaneleyo kubo.
6. Ukuzithemba kwakho kunkqonkqozwa kwezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho.
Kungenzeka ukuba ezi mvakalelo zokungoneliseki azikho phantsi kwento yokwenza neqabane lakho okanye ulwalamano konke konke.
Mhlawumbi ingxaki ikwezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho.
Mhlawumbi unengxaki yobungcali ngenxa yokuba ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi okanye uyadikwa ngumsebenzi wakho.
Mhlawumbi ukhe wanengxaki nosapho lwakho okanye abahlobo bakho okanye usilela kwinjongo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho libonakala linobomi phantsi kolawulo ngokupheleleyo, unokuziva ukuba awuhambelani nemigangatho yabo ephezulu.
7. Ufumene utshintsho lomzimba.
Mhlawumbi ingxaki ibangelwe lutshintsho lomzimba oye wahlangabezana nalo kumaxesha akutshanje.
Mhlawumbi ubukhe wagula, okanye inkangeleko yakho itshintshile ngendlela ocinga ukuba ayilunganga.
Oko kunokuba nefuthe elikhulu ekuzithembeni kwakho kwaye kukhokelele ekubeni ukhathazeke ngokuba iqabane lakho linokuba lula nomntu 'onomtsalane' kunawe.
Amanyathelo ali-10 okuziva ulungile ngokwaneleyo kwiQabane lakho
Ukuba uziva ngathi awulungelanga iqabane lakho, yile nto kufuneka uyijongile kwakamsinya, kuba ezi mvakalelo zinokonakalisa ulwalamano ngendlela emangalisayo.
Nazi ezinye zeendlela onokuthi usebenze ngazo koku, ukukunceda uqonde ukuba ulungile ngokwaneleyo kuye nakubani na kwaye akufuneki uthandabuze ukuzixabisa kwakho.
1. Fumana ingcambu yengxaki.
Inyathelo lokuqala kukuthathela ingqalelo zonke izizathu ezingasentla kwaye ubeke umnwe wakho ukuba zeziphi kuzo ocinga ukuba ziyinyani kuwe.
Isenokuba ngumxube wezinto ezahlukeneyo ezinegalelo. Kuphela ngokuchonga unobangela (we) weengxaki onokuthi uthathe amanyathelo okuyilungisa.
2. Thetha nomhlobo othembekileyo okanye umcebisi.
Oku mhlawumbi akuyona into onokuyenza okanye kufuneka ujongane nayo. Udinga inkxaso ukuze ukwazi ukusebenza ngale nto kwaye ufezekise amanqanaba asempilweni okuzithemba.
Thatha ixesha lokuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho nomhlobo othembela kuye kwaye ekufunela okuhle.
Ukuba ucinga kunokuba luncedo, umcebisi kufanelekile ukuba aqwalaselwe. Banokukunceda ukuba uthi ndlela-ntle kwezi zakhiwo kube kanye.
3. Sebenza ngokuzithemba kwakho kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho.
Ngokubanzi, ukuzithemba kwakho kusenokwenzeka ukuba kudinga ukonyusa okubalulekileyo.
Kuya kufuneka uhlakulele ukuqonda okungcono ngokuxabiseka kwakho. Gxila kwizinto ezinje ngokungasebenzisi ulwimi lokuzithoba, njengoko amagama akho ebaluleke kakhulu ekomelezeni indlela ozijonga ngayo.
Lumkela ulwimi lwakho lomzimba, umi umde, uncume ngokufudumeleyo, kwaye ngokubanzi uza kwabanye ukuzithemba. Lutshintsho oluncinci olunokuthi lube nefuthe elikhulu.
4. Gxila kwizinto ezikwenza uzive wonwabile kwaye wanelisekile.
Xa siziva siphantsi malunga nathi kunye nolwalamano lwethu, sihlala sichitha lonke ixesha lethu sigxila kwizinto ezingalunganga kubomi bethu, endaweni yezona zinto zilungileyo.
Ke lixesha lokuba ubeke ingqwalaselo yakho kuzo zonke izinto ebomini bakho ezizalisa uvuyo.
Gxila kubuhlobo bakho, kusapho lwakho, kwaye ubeke phambili ezo zinto zikwenza uzive uzithembile kwaye uzalisekile.
Beka phambili impilo-ntle yakho kwaye uzibonakalise ukuba ufanelekile.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba awuzibonisi uthando oluthile, ungaziqinisekisa njani ukuba ulufanelwe luthando lweqabane lakho?
5. Zicel 'umngeni.
Ukuba uziva ungonelanga liqabane lakho, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ufuna imiceli mngeni emitsha ebomini bakho ukuze uzingqine ngokwakho ukuba ungumntu onamandla amangalisayo ofanelwe luthando.
Zama into entsha-into eyoyikisayo.
6. Zithande ngenxa yento oyiyo.
Ukucinga ngale ndlela luphawu oluqinisekileyo lokuba amanqanaba akho okuzithanda aphantsi kakhulu, ke kuya kufuneka usebenze kuloo nto.
izinto zokwenza udikwe ekhaya
Ukuzithanda ngokwakho malunga nokwamkelwa, kwaye malunga nokuzinika ikhefu.
Awudingi ukuba ungoyena mtsalane, okrelekrele, okona kulungileyo, okanye oyena mntu uyiliweyo ukuba ulungele uthando.
7. Khumbula, ayinguwe wedwa.
Kuhlala kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ayinguwe wedwa oziva ezi mvakalelo.
Sonke siyakuthandabuza ukuzixabisa kwethu ngokufuthi, kwaye le yinto onokusebenza kuyo ukuba uyazama ngenene.
8. Cinga ngobuhlobo bakho.
Lixesha lokuba uhlale phantsi kwaye uthembeke kuwe malunga nolwalamano lwakho.
Ngaba ezi mvakalelo neengcinga ziziphumo zizinto zakho?
Okanye, ngaba iqabane lakho lenza izinto ezidibanisa iimvakalelo zakho zokunganeli ngokwaneleyo kubo?
Ngaba bayakuxhasa, okanye bayakujongela phantsi?
Ngaba oku kuxhomekeke kwimicimbi ekufuneka usebenze kuyo, okanye ngaba kukho ingxaki kubudlelwane bakho ekufuneka ijongiwe?
9. Yiba nengxoxo ethembekileyo neqabane lakho.
Nje ukuba ubonakalise imeko, lixesha lokuba uvuleke kwaye uthembeke kwiqabane lakho malunga nendlela oziva ngayo.
Khetha ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuhlala phantsi uvule indlela oziva ngayo nokuba kutheni ucinga ukuba inokuba njalo.
Lumka ngendlela oyibeka ngayo ukuze ungabenzakalisi , ngakumbi ukuba uye waqonda ukuba iingxaki zezakho ngokupheleleyo, kwaye akukho nto inokuyenza ngendlela iqabane lakho eliziphatha ngayo kuwe.
Qhagamshela kwakhona neqabane lakho.
Ukuba uza kusebenza ngale nto kunye neqabane lakho, bobabini kufuneka nichithe ixesha elininzi kunye, nizonwabise niphinde nifumane intlantsi eyanidibanisa.
Ukuba usebenza ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye uqiniseke ukuba nobabini nenza umgudu kubudlelwane benu, kuya kufuneka nikwazi ukuza noku njengomntu ozithembileyo kunye nesibini esomeleleyo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni malunga neemvakalelo zakho zokungafaneleki ngokwaneleyo kubo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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