Kutheni sibenzakalisa abo sibathandayo?
Kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo xa sifuna ukuthanda nokuthandwa kuphela.
Ingxaki kukuba ubomi abuhlali bulula okanye bucocekile.
Abantu bahlala bezizidalwa ezinesiphene ezisabela kwiimvakalelo ezingxamisekileyo xa kungcono kuthintelwe.
Ayisiyiyo yokuba sisoloko sinokukhetha kulo mbandela. Ngamanye amaxesha imeko iyasongamela kangangokuba asinakukunceda kodwa sisebenze kwindawo yeemvakalelo eziphambili.
Singaziva sibuhlungu, sisoyika, okanye sinomsindo kwaye sizicime ezo mvakalelo kubantu esibathandayo kuba zezona sizisondeleyo kubo. Zizo esizivumela ukuba sizikhusele, ngoko ke zihlala zifumana isabelo sengonyama sezo mvakalelo zingacocwanga kunye nokuphendula.
Oko kunokuba sempilweni okanye kungenampilo. Into esifuna ukuyenza kukujolisa ekubeni nengxabano esempilweni kunye neemvakalelo nabantu esibathandayo. Ukwenza oko, kufuneka sijonge ezinye zezizathu zokuba kutheni sibakhathaza abantu esibathandayo kwaye sinokwenza ntoni ngako.
1. Unokuhlanganisa ukungqubana nothando.
Abantu abakhulele kwikhaya elizele ziingxabano okanye ukuxhatshazwa banokuthi badibanise ukungqubana njengendlela yokubonisa uthando.
Kwabanye abantu, isenzo sokuphikisana okanye ukulwa nomntu ababathandayo sibonisa ukuba bayathanda umntu ukuba umkhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukuba angangqubana nabo.
Impixano isempilweni nakoluphi na ulwalamano kuba abantu zizidalwa ezingcolileyo. Abahlali ngokucocekileyo kwibhokisi efanelekileyo abanye abanokuzama ukuyifaka.
Impixano yindlela apho abantu banokubonisa ukuba iphi na imida yabo kwaye banyanzeliswa njani. Ikwathetha ukuba ingqumbo yomntu kunye nokukhathazeka kuyabonakaliswa, kunokuba ucinezelwe kwaye ungakhathalelwa.
Ukucinezelwa komsindo kunye nokukhathazeka kubangela inzondo , ethi ekugqibeleni ilonakalise ulwalamano.
Umntu onxulumana nothando kunye nokuxabana unokuqonda ngokungalunganga aqale umlo ukuba izinto 'zilunge kakhulu' ixesha elongeziweyo, ukuze abone amandla kunye nothando.
ixabisa malini i-webbie
Olu hlobo lwengxaki lunokufuna ukuba kujongwane nonyango lobungcali. Abasindileyo ekuphatheni gadalala banokuba nembono egqwethekileyo malunga nolwalamano lothando ngenxa yamava abo.
Ukungaqhelani nale mikhwa midala kwaye uyitshintshe entsha yinkqubo ende yokunikela ingqalelo kwiimvakalelo zikabani, ukuqonda ukuba kutheni sivakalelwa koko sikwenzayo, emva koko ukhethe amanyathelo ahlukeneyo.
2. Unokuba uyazenzakalisa ulwalamano lwakho.
Kutheni le nto umntu echitha ubudlelwane babo? Ngaba wonke umntu akafuni ukuziva ethandwa kwaye onwabile?
Ewe, ewe, kodwa loo nto ayisoloko iyingxaki xa kufikwa ekuzenzakaliseni. Ukuziphatha okuzenzakalisa ngokwakho sisiphumo solwalamano lomntu kunye nabo.
Ukuba awuzive ufanelekile ukuthandwa okanye ukonwaba, emva koko unganobunzima bokwamkela ukuba umntu othile angaziva ngokuqinisekileyo ngawe njengoko usenza ngabo.
Ke, unokuzifumana uvavanya imida, ujonge kwaye uqhubela umntu omthandayo ukubatyhalela kufutshane nemida yabo.
Mhlawumbi ufuna ukuqinisekiswa? Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwakho ukuba banokucaphuka kuwe, kodwa baphinde babuye ngeenxa zonke bakuthande?
Okanye mhlawumbi uziva ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba awufanelanga kuthandwa? Ke wenza nantoni na ongayenza ukuzama ukophula unxibelelwano olusenyongweni nawe ukuze uphinde uqinisekise engqondweni yakho ukuba awufanelanga.
Akukho nanye kwezi ndlela zokuziphatha esempilweni. Eyokuqala iyakhohlisa kwaye iwela kwindawo yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Okwesibini akukho mfuneko kwaye kunokwaphula ubudlelwane obudlulileyo kubuchule bakho bokubuhlaziya.
Ukuziphatha okuzenzakalisa kwazo zonke iintlobo kwehla kubudlelwane bakho nawe. Ngaba uziva uxabisekile? Ngaba kufanelekile ukuthanda? Okanye ngaba uzabalaza ukuzithemba kunye nokuzixabisa?
Indlela owulungisa ngayo lo mbandela kukulungisa imiba yakho ngokuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuzixabisa, ekunokwenzeka ukuba kufuneke ugqirha. Kuya kufuneka kwakhona ukuba ubuyisele imikhwa yakho emidala, engenampilo kunye nemitsha, isempilweni.
Ndifuna nje umntu ozingcayo ngam
3. Ungonwaba kakhulu xa kukho abantu obathandayo.
Kuthetha ntoni ukuhlala kamnandi nabantu obathandayo? Ewe, xa umntu edibana nabantu abatsha okokuqala, bahlala bebeka uhlobo lwabo olukhazimlisiweyo.
Babonisa izinto ezintle abacinga ukuba zibenza ukuba bathandeke okanye babe nabantu kwaye bathathe kancinci izinto ezingalunganga ezinokuthintela intlalontle.
Wonke umntu unemida kunye nemida, imaski abayinxibayo xa benxibelelana nabantu abangabaziyo okanye abasondeleyo kubo. Abantu ngokubanzi abafuni ukuba imiba enzima ngakumbi kubo ibonwe lula lihlabathi. Oko kunokuthatha indlela yokuphepha iimpikiswano okanye ukuthintela iimvakalelo ezizizo malunga nemeko ethile.
Kodwa xa usondela emntwini, uninzi lwalo mida luyawa. Njengoko uziva ukhululekile emntwini, unokufumanisa ukuba kulula ukuzibonakalisa okanye uvumele ezo zinto zingalunganga zakho zibonwe.
Ingxaki kukuba ungasondela kumntu onezimvo ezahlukileyo ngokusisiseko kunye naye. Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukuphatha ezo zimvo kunye neemvakalelo ngendlela esempilweni, zinokujika zibe ngamafutha eengxoxo ezingeyomfuneko kunye nembambano.
Xa usenza ubudlelwane obusenyongweni kwaye uyayiyekisa imida yakho, unokuzibhaqa uthetha ngokukhululekileyo ngaphandle kokuqwalaselwa. Ke ngoko, unokucaphukisa okanye wenzakalise umntu omthandayo.
Isisombululo kukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuqonda kakuhle umahluko wakho nokuba unxibelelana njani ngawo.
Ukuba kukho umba weqhosha elishushu ongavumelaniyo ngalo, kuya kufuneka usebenze ukuze ungavumi ukuba nomsindo kwaye uphose nje naliphi na igama eliza kuwe kulowo umthandayo, kuba ngekhe alunge. Ukuphuhlisa ukuqonda kwakho yindlela efanelekileyo yokwenza obu buchule.
4. Unokukhangela ulawulo okanye ukuziphindezela.
Amandla okusebenzisana nabantu anokuba nzima, ngakumbi xa amava angaphambili okanye ukugula kwengqondo kunegalelo.
Ngamanye amaxesha umntu unokuqala ukungqubana nabantu ababathandayo njengesixhobo sokufumana ulawulo kubudlelwane okanye ukuziphindezela ngokwenzakala kwangaphambili.
Uluvo kukuba 'ngekhe undonzakalise xa ndinokukwenzakalisa kuqala.'
Olu hlobo lokuziphatha lunokunyanzeliswa yimfuno yokuba ulungile, uphinde uphinde ulawule iimvakalelo ezinesiphithiphithi, ukuswela ukuzixabisa, okanye ukuziva ngathi awukho kwimeko yolawulo.
Okanye, kusenokwenzeka ukuba omnye umntu wakukhathaza, ke uziva isidingo sokuba ubonzakalise babuyele esikalini.
Ingxaki ngale ndlela kukuba inokuhla ngokukhawuleza ekuziphatheni gadalala okungalunganga.
Umntu omthandayo uyakukhathaza, ke nawe uyabenzakalisa, ngenxa yoko bakulimaza nawe, ke ubalimaze umva, ngokuqhubekayo nangokuqhubekekayo kude kube yimeko yomoya ojikeleze umsindo nengqaqambo.
Isisombululo solu hlobo lwengxaki sehla saya kwimida kunye nokwenza ukhetho olungcono.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu benza izinto ezingenamvakalelo okanye ezibubudenge ezenzakalisa abantu abasondele kubo. Ayinakuphepheka loo nto.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba kutheni bayenzile. Ngaba babenobukrakra ngenjongo yokuxhaphaza? Okanye ngaba benze into yobudenge kwaye babona kude? Ngaba okwangoku boyisiwe ziingxaki zabo? Ngaba bafuna uncedo lwakho? Ngaba bafuna uncedo lweengcali?
wenzeni xa umntu ekucaphukisile
Ubudlelwane abukho ukhuphiswano lwakho ngokuchasene nomnye umntu. Akufuneki kubekho isidingo sokulinganisela izikali okanye ukufuna impindezelo xa kusenzeka ingozi. Ukuba uziva unesidingo, kuya kufuneka uzibuze, 'Kutheni?'
Kutheni usiva isidingo sokulinganisela esikalini? Ngaba kunyanzelekile? Ngaba inobubele? Ngaba ufuna imida engqongqo nomntu onokuba nobunzima okanye osebenza kwiingxaki zakhe?
5. Unokuba nolindelo olungeyonyani kulowo umthandayo.
Kulula kakhulu ukuwela kumgibe wokubeka ulindelo olungeyonyani kubantu esibathandayo nabaxabisekileyo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kufuneka sicinge ukuba zizinto ezizodwa ukuzithanda kwaye sizixabise ngendlela esenza ngayo. Ngaba ayenzi ngqiqweni into yokuba silindele ukuba babe kumgangatho ophezulu okanye bazalisekise oko sicinga ukuba kokona kulungileyo?
Ngelishwa, abantu abasebenzi ngaloo ndlela. Abantu bangcolileyo, abazithembi, abasoloko bezithembile izidalwa ezenza izigqibo ezimbi kunye neempazamo. Abanye abantu ngaphezulu kwabanye.
Ungazifumana uphosa ingqumbo okanye wenzakalise umntu omthandayo ukuba awuziva ukuba bahlala kulo naluphi na ulindelo onalo kubo.
Amajelo osasazo ahlala esondla ngamabali malunga nobudlelwane obugqibeleleyo kunye nothando lwencwadi yamabali oluphumeleleyo ngaphandle kobunzima.
Kwaye intengiso isixelela ukuba iqabane lethu eligqibeleleyo liphaya, lisilindile! Ukulinda ubomi obumnandi, obonwabisayo apho iingxaki zakho ziya kuba kwisipili sakho sangasemva, kwaye kukho kuphela amaxesha amnandi angaphambili! Uya konwaba ukuba ufumana lo mntu ugqibeleleyo, esinye isiqingatha sakho, isiqingatha sakho esingcono kuba uthando luya kukwenza ube ngumntu opheleleyo!
Kulungile. Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba 'isiqingatha sakho esingcono' asilunganga ngokwenyani? Kuthekani ukuba umntu wakho ogqibeleleyo akafezekanga? Awunguye umntu onesiqingatha okanye umntu ongaphelelanga, uphelele, ungumntu onesiphene ngokufanayo naye wonke umntu opheleleyo, umntu onesiphene osenokumthanda okanye umkhathalele.
Ukuba sempilweni, ubudlelwane obonwabisayo busekwe kulindelo olusengqiqweni. Qiniseka ukuba ungquzulwano lwakho alusekelwanga kulindelo olungenangqondo kwinto ocinga ukuba amalungu osapho lwakho, izihlobo, okanye iqabane kufuneka libe lilo.
6. Usenokwenzakalisa lowo umthandayo kuba bakufutshane kakhulu.
Uya kwenzakalisa abantu ochitha ixesha elininzi ngeenxa zonke ngenxa yokuba ungenako?
Ukuba uchitha uninzi lwexesha lakho kunye neqabane lakho, baya kuva zombini iimvakalelo ezilungileyo nezingalunganga onazo.
Le ayisiyonto unokuyiphepha. Impixano iyenzeka ngokuqinisekileyo. Unokuba nemini eyoyikekayo emsebenzini, ungabi sendaweni elungileyo yengqondo, kwaye ngokungafanelekanga ukhawuleze kwisithandwa sakho kuba awukabinayo ngqo intloko okwangoku.
Yiyo loo nto ukusonjululwa kwengxabano kunye nobukrelekrele beemvakalelo zibaluleke kakhulu. Kuya kufuneka ukuba ukwazi ukujonga imeko yakho yeemvakalelo kwaye uzifumane ufike kwinqanaba apho ungakhwazanga khona umntu omthandayo.
Kwelinye icala, xa kusenzeka, kuyakufuneka ukwazi ukuhambisa izinto kakuhle kwaye ube nobudlelwane boxolo nabantu osondele kubo.
Awuyi kulunge ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye kulungile. Ungumntu ongafezekanga njengaye wonke umntu. Yintoni ebaluleke kakhulu kukuba uqhubeke uzama ukufumana iindlela zokuzilungisa iingxabano kubudlelwane bakho ukuze bonwabe kwaye babe sempilweni.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenze ntoni malunga nokunyanga kwabo ubathandayo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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