Uninzi lwethu lukhetha ukuya kubanda emva kokuqhekeka. Oko kuthetha ukuba akukho kubona okanye ukunxibelelana ne-ex yethu kwakhona.
Abanye abantu, nangona kunjalo, bakhetha ukuseta ubude bexesha ekujoliswe kulo apho bangayi kuthetha khona kwi-ex yabo, emva koko baphonononge ukhetho lwabo kanye ngeli xesha liphelile. Oku kunokuba ziintsuku ezingama-30 okanye iinyanga ezi-3 okanye elinye ixesha.
Siza kuhamba ngendlela ongawusebenzisa ngayo lo mthetho ngeendlela ezikufaneleyo - kwaye unamathela njani kuyo!
Ukuba ufunda eli nqaku, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba uyahlukana ngoku kwaye ulingeka ukuba uthumele umyalezo kwi-ex yakho.
Beka loo ngcinga ngaphandle kwemizuzu embalwa, funda iingcebiso zethu, kwaye ubone ukuba uziva njani ekugqibeleni.
Khumbula- le yeyethutyana kwaye ungaphumelela kuyo. Silapha ukukunceda…
Ukuba uyayenza ukufumana ex yakho kwakhona.
Esinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuba abantu basike i-ex yabo ebomini babo iinyanga ezimbalwa kukuba bababuyisele.
Ngoku, oko kunokuvakala kubuyela umva- kutheni ubanika unyango olungathethiyo ukuba ufuna ukuba kunye nabo?
Ewe, zininzi izizathu zokwenza oku.
Okokuqala, ikunika zombini indawo yokuphola kwaye ufumane ingcaciso kubudlelwane. Elinye ixesha kunye nendawo eyahlukileyo kunokwenza ukuba nobabini niqonde into enilahlekileyo kunye nokuba nibe nkulu kangakanani ngaphambili.
Nina nobabini ninako ukugqitha nakweyiphi na into ebangele ukuba omnye wenu aphelise izinto, kwaye nifumana ithuba lokwakha ngokutsha ubomi benu kwaye niqwalasele nina, ukuze nikulungele ukuzibophelela ngokupheleleyo xa nibuyelana.
Xa bephinda bekubona kwakhona, baya kuba sele behambile kwisikhubekiso esincinci okanye iingxoxo onazo, kwaye baya kukubona njengeqabane elikhulayo, elizimeleyo nelinomtsalane kwakhona!
Kungenxa yoko le nto la manyathelo angezantsi engundoqo - awungekhe nje uthethe ne-ex yakho iinyanga ezi-3 (okanye elinye ixesha lexesha), kuya kufuneka ujonge ekuphuculeni ngokwako nokukhula…
Ukungayi kunxibelelana nako kulungile kuba kukunika ixesha lokugxila kuwe kwaye womelele kwaye uzithembe ngakumbi. Oku kuthetha ukuba xa usenza ke ubone umntu wakudala ukuba athethe ngokubuyelana, uya kuziva kamnandi!
Ukuba ubuya kubaleka ubuyele kwi-ex yakho ngoko nangoko, ngekhe ukhathazeke kakhulu kwaye wenze ngeendlela onokuzisola ngazo kamva. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ubambelele okanye utyhafise xa iqabane lakho liphelisa izinto, kodwa ngekhe liqinisekise ukuba bakubuyise!
Ngokukunika kunye nabo indawo, umntu wakho wakudala uya kubona ukuba unokuzimela kwaye wenze into yakho, kunye nokufuna ukuba kunye nabo. Oku kuyabonisa ukuba uyakwazi ukukhula, kwaye baya kufuna ukubuyela kunye nawe.
Akukho nto inomtsalane kunomntu onobomi obunye kunye, onezinto azithandayo kunye nabahlobo, kwaye ngubani obona ubudlelwane njengento ndifuna , ngaphandle kwe imfuno .
Iingcebiso ezisi-7 zokukunceda unamathele kumgaqo wokungafowunelwa.
1. Ijenali ngoba uyayenza lento.
Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokubambelela kumgaqo wokungafowunelwa kukubhala phantsi ukuba kutheni usenza kwasekuqaleni.
Thembeka kabuhlungu nesiqu sakho xa usenza le nto - kokukhona ungaya ubunzulu, kokukhona uya kuba nakho ukunamathela. Akekho omnye umntu owakha wafuna ukubona okanye ukwazi ukuba ubhala ntoni, ukuze uyikhuphe yonke.
Unokufuna ukucinga ngesizathu sokuba wahlukane kwasekuqaleni, nokuba sisigqibo sabo okanye esakho.
Yenza inqaku lezinto ezikhokelele ekwahlukaneni- ukuba omnye wenu ukhohlisile, umzekelo. Emva koko yiya kwiinkcukacha zokuba kutheni oko kuthetha ukuba kungcono ukuphepha omnye komnye - awunakubathemba, okanye wenze ukhetho olubi kuba awukhuselekanga ngokwaneleyo kunye nabo.
Ngokongeza iinkcukacha malunga ngoba ezi zizathu zivumelekile, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhumbule ngokuchanekileyo indlela izinto ezimbi ezaziziva ngayo xa wawunaye ex. Ezi mvakalelo zezizakukunqanda ekubeni ubuyele kubo.
Sebenzisa olu ngeniso lwejenali okanye uluhlu njengento oza kubuyela kuyo ngalo lonke ixesha uhendelwa ukuba ubathumele umyalezo okanye uqhubele phambili 'ngengozi'. Kuya kukunceda uhlale ugxile ngqo ekubeni kutheni unyanzelisa lo mthetho wokungafowunelwa.
kutheni ndifuna ingqwalaselo engaka
2. Yiba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wekamva lakho.
Kunganzima kakhulu xa uphakathi koqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye kungaziva ngathi awusoze ube ngaphaya kwe-ex yakho okanye ulwalamano. Uphantse wamfanyekiswa yintlungu yentliziyo ebonakala ngathi ayikho enye indlela.
Nantsi lapho! Yenza ibhodi yeemood okanye uthethe nabahlobo malunga nekamva lakho. Kulumkele ukukhankanya amaqabane athandanayo okwangoku, kwaye endaweni yoko jolisa kwezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho kunye nokuba zinokubonakala njani.
Oku kukunika igumbi lokuphefumla ngokucinga ngothando kunye nobudlelwane, kwaye kunceda ukuba ujonge ukuba zingakanani ezinye izinto oziqhubayo ebomini bakho!
Xa sidlula ngokwahlukana, kufana nokuba sichazwa kuphela yiloo nto. Silibale ngayo yonke enye into ebomini bethu-njengentsapho, izinto esizithandayo, umsebenzi, izihlobo.
Sebenzisa eli xesha ukucinga ngento enokwenzeka, okanye into ofuna ukuyenza kule minyaka imbalwa izayo. Yiba namabhongo kwaye uzivumele uthabatheke!
Cinga ngomsebenzi wakho wamaphupha, apho uya kuhlala khona, olo hlobo lwento. Ukuba ungumntu obonakalayo njengam, unokufumana iinkcukacha njengaluphi uhlobo lwee-cushion oza kuba nazo esofeni kwigumbi lakho lendlu laseNew York eliphuphileyo.
Nokuba yeyiphi na ekwenza ube nemincili kwakhona kwaye ikunike into ojolise kuyo - nokuba yeyomqamelo okanye amakhondo omsebenzi…
3. Zibekele usukelo onokulufikelela.
Kunokuziva koyikisa ukusika amaqhina kunye nomntu ngokupheleleyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kukho izizathu zokuba kufuneka uthethe nomntu owawukade ulikho.
Zinike injongo yokwenyani yokujolisa kuyo - mhlawumbi uyababona kube kanye ukubabuyisela izinto zabo, emva koko wenze ngathi abekho nge-30, 60, okanye nayiphi na imihla yeentsuku.
Akukho xesha libekiweyo, ngelishwa, kodwa ngokuzinika ixesha elide kude nabo, uya kuyazi kakuhle indlela oziva ngayo nge-ex yakho.
Kungathatha iiveki ezimbalwa okanye iinyanga zentliziyo ebuhlungu ngaphambi kokuba ugxile ekuqhubekeni, ke ngoko lixesha ocinga ukuba uya kulidinga.
Ukuba uhlala uthabathe iveki okanye ezimbini emva koqhawulo-mtshato ukuze uzijikeleze ulila kwaye utye ice cream, zinike into oyifunayo kwaye uvumele loo nkqubo ukuba yenzeke.
Ukuba uzinika kuphela iiveki ezimbini ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kwi-ex yakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato, uya kuhlala usezingeni elinzima, kwisigaba sentliziyo kwaye uya kwenza ngokusekwe kwezo mvakalelo.
Zinike ithuba lokwazi eyona nto uyifunayo ngokuthatha ixesha elithe kratya - ungaziva ungcono kakhulu kwiinyanga ezimbalwa, okanye unokuqonda ukuba ibiyinto yokwenene kwaye ufuna ukuzama kwakhona.
Siza kungena kwiinkcukacha malunga nokuphela kweli nqaku ...
4. Vumela ukuba ulusizi kulwalamano.
Njengoko besesitshilo ngasentla, abanye bethu bafuna ixesha lokwenza nje kuba phuke intliziyo. Yinto encinci yesiko ekufuneka sidlule kuyo.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba yonke into yoqhawulo-mtshato ikushiya ungxola ngenxa yeeveki ezimbalwa, zinike elo xesha. Uvunyelwe ukuba uzive ulusizi kwaye woyike kwaye akukho nto iya kuphinda ilunge kwakhona. Kuya kufuneka uzivumele ukuba ulusizi ulwalamano ukuba uza kusuka kulo ngokwenyani.
Khumbula ukuba oku kusebenza ngokupheleleyo. Ulahlekelwe ngumntu kunye nobudlelwane- kunye nohlobo lwakho, kunye neenkumbulo kunye nethemba ngekamva kunye.
Oku kuninzi ekufuneka ugqityiwe, kwaye kufuneka uyicwangcise yonke ukuba uza kuba nakho ukunamathela kumgaqo wakho wokungafowunelwa.
Ukuba uzama ukutsiba eli nqanaba, kunokwenzeka ukuba uphinde ubuye kwaye ngokungacwangciswanga ubethwe nzima kakhulu yindlela ophoswa ngayo liqabane lakho langaphambili. Oko kuthetha ukuba unjalo ke Kaninzi kungenzeka ukuba ufuna ukuthumela umyalezo okanye ukuzibona.
Ukuthintela oku kwenzekayo, thatha ixesha lokuba sentlungwini kwaye uzive ukhathazekile- kwaye uqhubeke!
5. Susa isilingo.
Uninzi lwethu luthatha isigqibo sokuba asisayi kuphinda sithethe nesidala sethu… kwaye ujonge iprofayile yabo ye-Instagram rhoqo, okanye uphinde ufunde imbali yethu yomyalezo.
uthathe umhlala-phantsi nini
Siyazithuthumbisa ngokujonga ukubona abanye abantu ukuba bathande iifoto zabo, okanye ukuba amabali abo ajongeka ngathi bakumhla (sele ?!).
Okanye sifunde iincoko zethu zangaphambili kwaye sijonge imikhondo yokuba bezokuphelisa izinto, kwaye siyazibuza ukuba ngaba sisekunye ukuba besingathumelanga lo myalezo kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo.
Isandi esiqhelekileyo?
Oku akuncedi konke konke xa uzama ukudlula umntu-kwaye mhlawumbi sesona sizathu uzama umthetho wokungafowunelwa, emva kwayo yonke loo nto.
Ukuba ujonge ukubuyela kwi-ex yakho, skrolela ezantsi kwicandelo lethu kuloo nto!
Ungazama ukuziqinisekisa ukuba ukukhangela imiyalezo kunye neeprofayili akubali 'njengoqhakamshelwano,' kodwa uyazi ukuba akunampilo okanye akukho mveliso.
Misela oku ngokususa isilingo. Yongeza iifoto kwikhamera yakho kwi-albhamu yakho 'efihliweyo' ukuze ungafane uzijonge.
Thumela ingxoxo yakho kuWhatsApp kunye nabo-ungazithumela ngokwakho nge-imeyile ukuze uyifumane (le nto iyenza ukuba izive ingonwabanga!), Emva koko ucime incoko kwifowuni yakho.
Ungabalandeli kwimidiya yoluntu, okanye ubuncinci ubathulise ukuze ungafumani ngokungafaniyo neefoto zabo ngelixa uskrola.
Ukuba ujonga ukuba hayi okanye hayi baye bajonge ibali lakho, lifihle kubo. Abasoze bazi, kwaye kukuyekisa ukuba unyanzeleke kwaye uzibuze ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba bayibukele (okanye abayibukelanga), njl.
Konke oku kuya kukunceda unamathele kumgaqo wakho wokungafowunelwa kuba awuyi 'kugxothwa' bubukho babo njengangoku.
Ukubonakaliswa okuncinci onakho kubo, okuncinci kokufunda kuyo - kwaye kokuncinci uya kufuna ukubathumela umyalezo okanye ukufikelela kubo.
6. Ziqwalasele kwaye uhlale uxakekile.
Enye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule yile wena bayayenza le nto. Wena ukhethe ukuthatha ngokupheleleyo ixesha kwi ex yakho - kuba uyazi ukuba yinto elungileyo ukuyenza.
Oku kuhle kakhulu, njengoko kubonisa ukuba ukhetha ngokukhethekileyo ukugxila kwimpilo yakho. Uzenza into ephambili.
Ukunamathela kumgaqo wokungafowunelwa, kuya kufuneka uqhubeke nokukholelwa kwaye ubonise ukuba nguwe ophambili apha. Oko kuthetha ukugxila kuwe nokukhathalela impilo yakho yengqondo neyasemzimbeni.
Iseshoni yokuzilolonga okanye yokucamngca isenokungabi yinto yokuqala ocinga ngayo xa usaphuka, kodwa zama ukufumana ixesha lokubafaka xa unakho.
Ngazo zonke iindlela, hamba kwinqanaba lokutya okungekho mpilweni lokwahlukana, kodwa zama ukuqinisekisa ukuba utya ubuncinci ukutya okusempilweni, usela amanzi aneleyo, kwaye ufumana umoya omtsha kunye nokukhanya kwelanga!
Ngokujonga ingqondo nomzimba wakho ngolu hlobo, uyazibophelela ekujongeni isiqu sakho. Okukhona ugxila kwisiqu sakho, kokukhona uyahendeka ukuba uza kugxila kwi-ex yakho.
Ukuhlala uxakekile kuya kukunceda ukuba udlule kwinqanaba lokungafowunelwa ne-ex yakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Ukuba unomxube olungileyo wezicwangciso-ukubona abahlobo, i-yoga, ubusuku be-movie, ukuzilolonga ngeempelaveki njl.njl.Uya kuphazamiseka kwiingcinga zakho kwaye ngekhe uhlale kwaye uziqhekeze.
Sebenzisa umthetho ongadibaniyo nokuthatha ixesha lakho kwaye ugcwalise ubomi bakho ngezinto ozithandayo ukuzenza.
7. Yiba nomhlobo wesinye isicatshulwa.
Inokuba niyazibuza… ndithetha nabani ngoku?
Xa sidlula ekwahlukaneni, kulula kakhulu ukuba siziva sodwa kwaye lilolo. Uqhele ukubhalela iqabane lakho imiyalezo, ulitsalela umnxeba, ujonge nabo xa uziva uphantsi ngenxa yokuba uyazi ukuba baya kukuvuyisa.
Emva kokwahlukana, unokulahleka olo nxibelelwano lincinci.
Endaweni yokuhendeka ukuba uthumele umyalezo nge-ex yakho nangaliphi na ixesha xa uziva ulusizi okanye ufuna ukwabelana ngento nomntu, yiba nomhlobo omiselweyo olungele ukusebenza njengembambela!
Bathumele umyalezo ngentsasa elungileyo, ubathumelele ii-selfie ezintle okanye iividiyo ezihlekisayo, baxelele ukuba uyabathanda ngaphambi kokuba ulale ebusuku.
Isenokuvakala iyisidenge- ayifani nokuthumela imiyalezo kwiqabane lakho, siyazi- kodwa iya kukunceda.
Le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuphumeza umthetho wokungafowunelwa kuba uziva uthandwa kwaye usakonwabela ukuhlangana nomntu okukhathaleleyo.
Cela abantu obathandayo bakuncede. Ngamanye amaxesha, kufuneka ubize imipu emikhulu! Usapho lwakho olusondeleyo kunye nabahlobo baya kukwazi kakuhle, kwaye baya kuyazi indlela yokukunceda ngeli xesha lokwahlukana. Thetha nabo malunga nento oyenzayo nokuba kutheni-baya kukuxhasa kwaye baya kufuna ukukunceda unamathele kumgaqo wokungafowunelwa.
Ukuba zikhona iintsuku ezinzima ezizayo, yazisa abahlobo bakho ukuze bakwazi ukukuxhasa ngakumbi. Imibhiyozo, imihla yokuzalwa, iiholide- nantoni na ocinga ukuba inokwenza uzive uhendeka ukuba uthumele umyalezo nge-ex yakho.
uyandithanda kodwa ngekhe andibuze
Sebenzisa umthetho wokungafowunelwa njengobudlelwane 'ngekhefu.'
Kulungile - ke lo ngumbuzo omkhulu. Ngaba uthatha ikhefu ekuthumeleni imiyalezo okanye ubona i-ex yakho, kodwa ekugqibeleni ufuna ukubuyela kunye?
Ukuba uyafuna ukuba babuye, usenokugqiba ekubeni uthathe iinyanga ezimbalwa zokuthetha omnye nomnye. Kwimeko apho, ufuna ngokwenene ukukhumbula ixesha olichitha ungahlali kunye.
Kubalulekile ukulandela ezi ngcebiso zingasentla ukuze unamathele kumgaqo wexesha ozibekele lona.
Nangona kunjalo, uya kufuna ukuchitha ixesha elithile ucinga malunga nento oyifunayo ngokwenene.
Cinga ukuba kutheni nahlukane kwasekuqaleni-yayisisigqibo sikabani, kwaye kwenzeka ntoni ukuyikhuthaza?
Ngaba ubathanda ngokwenene, okanye uyayithanda nje?
Ngokuthatha ikhefu ekuthetheni nesidala sakho, uya kuba nexesha lokugxila kule mibuzo, kwaye umbe nzulu ukuze ufumane iimpendulo.
uxelele njani ukuba ufuna ukulala ngesondo
Ukuthatha ikhefu ngolu hlobo kunokuba kuhle, kodwa kuya kufuneka ubeke imigaqo eyisiseko.
Ngaba nabo bathatha ikhefu okanye baya kukuthumela imiyalezo? Ngaba uvumelekile ukuthandana nabanye abantu ngeli xesha lesigaba sokungafowunelwa? Uya kuphinda uthethe nini kwakhona, kwaye nobabini niya kuthembeka ngokupheleleyo malunga nezinto enizifunayo?
Ukuzinika ixesha kunye nendawo yokufumanisa eyona nto uyifunayo kuya kuba luncedo kuwe. Unokuqonda ukuba, emva kwethutyana, ulungile ngokwakho. Unokude uxole ukuba wahlukene!
Olu luhlobo lokuqonda onokulufumana kuphela ukuba unamathela kumgaqo wokungafowunelwa- ukuba uyathetha nabo okanye uyababona, uya kuba nakho ukushiya iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani kwaye ubuye nazo ngenxa yokuba ukuphoswa kubudlelwane, hayi oko le ubudlelwane.
Ungathini xa befikelela kuwe-kwaye ufuna ukuba babuye?
Ke, kwenzeka ntoni ukuba baphula umthetho wokungafowunelwa? Ukuba ufuna ukubuyela kunye, kunokuba kufanelekile ukuba uthathe ixesha elingakumbi ngokwahlukana.
Yazi ukuba ngobuchwephesha bachasene neminqweno yakho ngokufikelela- uyakubona ukungabi nantlonelo, ngaba kubonisa ukungayithandi imida, ngaba kufuneka basebenze kunxibelelwano?
Okanye mhlawumbi kubonisa ukuba abanakuphila ngaphandle kwakho, ukuba bayathandana ngokwenza umqondiso, kwaye wawuzakwenza into enye nakanjani ...
Nguwe kuphela onokwazi ukuba uziva njani ngale nto, ke themba isisu sakho kwaye uthembeke kwisiqu sakho!
Khumbula ukuba iinjongo zabo zisenokungafani nezakho. Zama ukuqonda ukuba bafuna ntoni kuwe.
Ngaba babethumela imiyalezo ngentsimbi yesi-3 kusasa ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku? Kukho ithuba lokuba abayi kufuna ukubuyela kunye nawe, ke khumbula ukuba banokunxila, banesithukuthezi, badlula kwinto ethile, okanye emva nje kokudibana.
Ungabuyela njani kunye ne-ex emva kokunxibelelana.
Cinga ukuba ngaba uziva ngathi unexesha elaneleyo lokusebenza ngokwakho. Ukuba ufuna ixesha elingakumbi lokufika kwinqanaba apho uqinisekile kwaye womelele ngokwaneleyo ukuba uzame ukuba nobudlelwane obunempilo, kulungile.
Ukuba umntu wakho wakudala uyakuhlonipha kwaye ufuna ukuba izinto zisebenze ngokwaneleyo, ngekhe bakulinde ukulinda iiveki ezimbalwa okanye enye inyanga!
Qiniseka ukuba usenza esi sigqibo kuba ufuna ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba babuye, kwaye hayi kuba kumnandi ukuba nothando kunye nokuqwalaselwa kwakhona.
Ukuthatha ixesha elongezelelekileyo ngaphandle kunokukunceda nina nobabini nigxile lwenziwa njani ulwalamano lusebenze , kwaye ikunika zombini ixesha lokuba niyidibanise kwaye nizibophelele ngokwenene.
Usenokuba nobabini ninethuba elifanelekileyo lokuba nikhule ngakumbi njengabantu ngabanye, kwaye niziva nizithembile nisiya kubudlelwane ngoku.
Cinga malunga nobabini enifuna ukuba ubudlelwane busebenze, kunye notshintsho enilwenzileyo nobabini.
Ngaba nobabini nisendaweni efanelekileyo yokubuyela kunye ngoku?
Ngaba uphilile nakweyiphi na into ebuhlungu, kwaye ungayivumela loo nto ihambe kwaye uqale kwakhona, okanye ngaba nobabini niya kuqala kwindawo enenzondo nengqumbo?
Ngaba nobabini nikulungele ukwenza ulungelelwaniso oluyimfuneko, kwaye ingaba ubudlelwane buya kusindiswa okanye ngaba ixesha lihlukene lenze ukuba nibone ukuba kungangcono ukubiza nje usuku kwaye niqhubeke?
Xa bekuthumela umyalezo, bonisa ukuba ulithathile eli xesha ukhule ngokwenyani kwaye uzisebenzela ngokwakho! Ungabi siswele, uxakekile ex ukuze balindele.
Endaweni yoko, yiba ngothando kwaye wonwabe, yigcine ilula de ube ufumene nobabini okwenzekayo. Yenze icace into yokuba ungaphila ngaphandle kwabo - inomdla kakhulu!
Ingavakala ngathi iyothusa, kodwa ukwazi ukuba umntu othile uyazikhulisa eyedwa kunokusenza sifune ukuba kunye nabo ngakumbi. Bonisa ex yakho ukuba baya kuba ukongeza ebomini bakho, hayi ubomi bakho bonke!
Ngaba kufuneka ubathumelele umyalezo kuqala okanye ubalinde?
Ukuba ubeka ixesha elibekiweyo xa ungafuni ukuva kubo, kwaye lo mhla uyadlula bengakhange badibane, kunokuba ngumqondiso wokuba ababoni ikamva phakathi kwakho.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba ubeka imigaqo yomhlaba ngeli xesha lokunxibelelana, banokulinda ukuba uthathe inyathelo lokuqala.
Ukuba ufuna ukuzama ukuyenza isebenze nabo kwaye khange benze mzamo wokunxibelelana nawe emva kokuba ixesha ekuvunyelwene ngalo liphelile, ukubathumela imiyalezo kukuphela kwendlela onokuthi ukhethe ngayo.
Kuxhomekeke kubo ukuba bayaphendula okanye bathini.
Kodwa yintoni omele uphulukane nayo?
umyeni wam unomsindo kwaye uyacaphuka ngalo lonke ixesha
Ngaba umthetho wokungafowunelwa usebenza ukuze ufumane i-ex yakho kwakhona?
Impendulo emfutshane kwaye engancedi kangako… ixhomekeke.
Kuza kubo kunye nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngeli xesha. Isenokuba yimeko yokuba bayiqonde kanye le nto baphulukene nayo. Oku kunokubanika inkuthazo yokubeka emsebenzini ukuze bakubuyisele umva kwaye benze ubudlelwane busebenze okwesibini.
Ukungakwazi ukukubona okanye ukuthetha nawe konke konke ixesha elide kunokwenzeka ukuba kubangele ezi mvakalelo kunokuba usekhona ebomini babo, nokuba kungokubhaliweyo.
Kwelinye icala, kanye njengokuba unokuqonda ukuba ungcono ngokwahlukana, banokufikelela kwisigqibo esifanayo kwaye baqhubeke nobudlelwane.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba umthetho wokunganxibelelani uququzelele oku kucaca kwengqondo, ke nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, isigqibo sokubuyela kunye okanye sokuhlala sodwa sinokuthi siqwalaselwe ngcono kwaye sikwazi ukusebenzela nina nobabini.
Akufuneki ukuba unxibelelwano luhlale ixesha elingakanani?
Alikho ngokwenyani ixesha elimiselweyo, kodwa ubuncinci obungenanto mhlawumbi iintsuku ezingama-30. Nawuphi na ongaphantsi koku kwaye awuziniki wena okanye i-ex yakho ithuba lokuqhubekeka neemvakalelo zakho kwaye ufumane intloko yakho ithe nkqo.
Unokumisela inani elithile leentsuku ezinje nge-30, 45, okanye i-60. Okanye iinyanga ezi-2 okanye ezi-3 ukuba kulula ukubala.
Okanye unokukhetha ukuphela kwenyanga njengendawo yokusika. Ke ukuba uyaphuka phakathi ku-Matshi, usenokuthi akukho nxibelelwano kufuneka luhlale kude kube sekupheleni kuka-Epreli. Ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukuyikhumbula le nto kuba ixesha leentsuku ezingama-60 linokuphela ngoLwesithathu ongacwangciswanga embindini wenyanga, kwaye ngaphandle kokuba unalo mhla kwidayari yakho, usenokulibala ukuba kunini.
Ngaba ndingaluqhawula unxibelelwano ukuba ndibakhumbula ngokwenene?
Ewe, hayi, akufuneki unxibelelane nabo nokuba wena ubakhumbule kakhulu kubuhlungu . Inqaku lokungabikho konxibelelwano kukuzinika ixesha lokuphola ekwahlukaneni ngokweemvakalelo. Awuyi kuvumela ukwenza oku ukuba awuziniki ixesha elaneleyo.
Yintoni omele uyithumele umyalezo kwi-ex yakho emva kokuba ixesha lokungafowunelwa liphelile?
Ukuthatha ukuba uyafuna ukuba babuye, yigcine ilula. Musa ukuthumela umyalezo omde othi awungekhe uphile ngaphandle kwabo kwaye ufuna ukuba babuyele kwangoko.
Awazi ukuba baziva njani kwaye oku kungababeka phantsi koxinzelelo olukhulu.
Endaweni yoko, yigcine ngokufutshane. Babuze ukuba bangathanda ukudibana ukuze bancokole. Oku kulula kakhulu ukuba bathi hayi kuyo ukuba yile nto bafuna ukuyenza.
Kungcono ukuba nengxoxo enkulu malunga nekamva lakho elinokubakho kunye nomntu ngenxa yokuba iitekisi kunye neefowuni zinokutolikwa gwenxa.
Ndiphule umthetho wethu wokunganxibelelani, hayi yintoni?
Ukuba awunako ukuxhathisa isilingo kwaye ubhalele i-ex yakho okanye uvelise intlanganiso 'ngengozi' nabo ngexesha lokungafowunelwa, ngekhe uzinike ixesha elaneleyo lokusebenza kwiimvakalelo zakho.
Ngokuqinisekileyo musa ukunxibelelana nabo kwakhona, kwaye ungaze ucinge ukongeza kwezinye iintsuku ezongezelelweyo kwimali obuthe uyakuyishiya ekuqaleni.
Ungathini xa befikelela kuwe - kwaye awufuni baphinde babuye?
Ukuba i-ex yakho ifikelela kuwe ngexesha lokungafowunelwa, unokuqonda ukuba awunamdla wokubuyela kunye.
Ukuba nexesha elahlukileyo kunokukunika ukucaca okwenyani, kwaye kukwenze uqaphele into obeka phambili kuyo kwaye oyifunayo ebomini.
Ukuba le meko ivela, unokuziva unetyala ngokungabinamdla. Khumbula ukuba kufuneka uzibeke wena kuqala kwaye uthembeke- qinisekisa kwakhona ukuba kuphelile phakathi kwakho kwaye kungcono ungabeva kwakhona.
Musa ukuphela ukubanjiswa kubudlelwane obungenampilo ngenxa yokuba ungafuni ukulimaza iimvakalelo zabo!
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Wowu, sigubungele kakhulu apho kwaye siyathemba ukuba uyifumene iluncedo! Nokuba usebenzisa umgaqo wokunxibelelana ukuze ugqithe kwi-ex, okanye ufumane i-ex back, kukho iingcebiso ezintle onokuzilandela.
Khumbula ukuzikhathalela wena kuqala - ubudlelwane buyinto eyongezelelweyo, ayibalulekanga.
Ngaba unemibuzo malunga nomgaqo wokungafowunelwa okanye ufuna uncedo lokunamathela kuwo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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