Ubudlelwane bunzima, ukutsho nje okuncinci.
Xa umntu ehluleka, akusoloko kuthetha ukuba loo mntu wayengenguye umntu olungileyo kuwe.
Isenokuba yimeko okanye impazamo esisidenge ekuqhubayo, kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha, ayizukwanela ukukugcina ungabikho kunye.
Kodwa ukuqonda ukuba kufuneka uqhubeke uzama umntu okanye hayi akucaci njengokuba ucinga ...
Uyabona, xa uthanda umntu, kulula ukungahoyi imiqondiso yesilumkiso okanye unyamezele ngaphezulu kunokuba kufanelekile.
Kwaye ixesha elininzi, sisoyika nje ukuqala ekuqaleni ebomini bethu bothando ukuze ekugqibeleni siyeke umntu esaziyo ukuba akasilungelanga.
Umjikelo wobudlelwane bokuphinda uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde ubaleke.
Ewe ubudlelwane obusempilweni buya kuba namahla ndinyuka, kodwa ukungazinzi kokuqhubeka nokuthandana kuyadinisa kwaye kuyakutshisa.
Funda ukuze ubone ukuba ungazikhupha njani kuloo meko kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba lo mntu ngowakho ngokwenene:
1. Zibuze ukuba kutheni uhlala uhlukana.
Uthe yenzelwe okuhle, kodwa ngoku ubuyile ne ex yakho… kodwa ngoba?
Yintoni le ikwahlulayo? Yintoni le ikutsalayo?
Kwenzeka njani ukuba ubaxolele ngentlungu yokuqhawuka komtshato kodwa ungalwenzi ulwalamano lubambelele?
Ukuchonga oyena nobangela wemicimbi yakho linyathelo lokuqala nelona libaluleke kakhulu ekusombululeni ubudlelwane obuphindaphindiweyo kube kanye.
Unokufumana, ujonge ngasemva, ukuba kukho umxholo oqhelekileyo kuphuka lwakho. Ukufumana oku kufana nokufumana ukubola entliziyweni yomthi othile. Ngoku ungagxila kwingxaki yokwenyani kwaye uqalise ukuphilisa umsantsa kwindawo ovela kuyo.
Kwangelo xesha, kuya kufuneka uthethe phandle kwaye uzilungiselele ukujongana neenyaniso ezingathandekiyo. Ngenxa yokuba umahluko osisiseko awunakutshintshwa, nokuba uzama kangakanani.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba kukho imiba ongenakuyenza, zigcinele ixesha kunye nentliziyo ebuhlungu kwaye uhlale kude.
2. Ingaba nisathembana?
Ukwahlukana kuyothusa - ubukela umntu omthandayo (okanye osamthandayo) kwaye uthembele ekubeni ngumntu ongamaziyo owenzakalisayo ebusuku.
Ukufumana ukwahlukana kuthatha amandla amakhulu engqondo kunye neemvakalelo njengoko usebenza ukhulula ubomi bakho kubo.
Ukuyenza yonke le nto, ukubabuyisela umva kwakhona yindawo yemigodi yeemvakalelo. Ufuna ukuxolela kwaye ulibale, kodwa ukukhathazeka ngokunzulu ngumntu kwenza ukuba kube nzima kakhulu.
Xa wohlukana nomntu, kunokuba ngathi akunakwenzeka ukuza ngokwemiqathango yezibophelelo eziqhekekileyo. Ukwakha kwakhona ukuthembana kunye nokuziva ukhuselekile ukuba izinto azizukuphela ukuba zenze njani okokugqibela kuthatha inqanaba lamandla kunye noxolelo oluya kuba nzima kuphela kumjikelo ngamnye on-off.
Ubudlelwane obuyimpumelelo abunakusebenza ngaphandle kokuthembana, kwaye ngaphandle kokuba ungabeka ngokwenyani konke ukwenzakala kunye nomsindo emva kwakho, izinto aziyi kusebenza.
Kubuza into kuni nobabini, ukuxolela ngokupheleleyo kwaye ulibale. Inokwenziwa, kodwa kuya kufuneka uthembeke malunga nokuba ungayiyeka na ingqumbo yakho yangaphambili, kwaye ukuba ungabathemba ngokwaneleyo ukuba bangaphinde bakwenzakalise.
3. Ngaba ubeka ulonwabo lwakho kwindawo yokuqala?
Emva kokuba nomntu okwethutyana, nokuba ayisebenzi, kunokuba nzima ukuvumela olo lwalamano luhambe. Ukuba wedwa kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo, kwaye kunokubonakala kulula ukuzama ukwenza ukuba izinto zisebenze kwakhona kunokujongana nokungaziwa ngobomi obungatshatanga.
Izinto ezininzi zingenza ukwahlukana kube nzima nangakumbi - ukwabelana ngendlu kunye, okanye ukuba nosapho, kunokuthetha ukuba awungekhe uhambe nje emntwini ngokuqhwanyaza kweliso.
Kodwa ngenxa yokuba ukwahlukana nabo akukho lula, oko akuthethi ukuba kunye nabo kuya kuba lula kwixesha elide.
Esona sizathu sokubuyela kwi-ex kufanele ukuba kukuba ubathanda ngokunyanisekileyo kwaye ubona ikamva ngalo mntu.
Ukuba uzama ukuyenza isebenze nangasiphi na isizathu ngaphandle kokonwaba kwakho, ubudlelwane buya kuhlala buphinda-phinde bube kude de bube buphele nya.
Unokucinga ukuba ukubeka ulonwabo lwakho kuqala kukuzingca, kodwa nguwe omele uzame ukwenza ukuba ubudlelwane busebenze ubomi bakho bonke, ukubuphila 24/7. Akakho omnye umntu onokukwenzela le nto.
Ewe, ukuvuma ubudlelwane bakho khange kusebenze kunzima, kwaye ukuqala ubomi obutsha ngaphandle kwabo kunokuziva kungenakwenzeka. Kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba akukho kamva apho, yiba nesibindi, ube nesibindi, kwaye uqale ukuba ngumbhali wolonwabo lwakho.
4. Yintoni eyahlukileyo kwixesha lokugqibela?
Ubuyile apho wawukhona ngaphambili, ne ex yakho, uziqinisekisa ukuba izakusebenza ngeli xesha.
Ngangoko ufuna ukukholelwa ukuba kuya kubakho, kuya kufuneka ubuze ukuba yintoni etshintshileyo ekubeni ubukule ndawo ngaphambili.
Ngewungazange wahlukane ukuba bekungekho sizathu sokwenza njalo, ke yintoni etshintshileyo ukusukela oko waqhawula umtshato wokugqibela ukukuqinisekisa ukuba ayizukuphinda yenzeke?
Usenokuba nobabini ninalo ixesha ebenilifuna ukuze niqonde ukuba ngokwenene nifuna ukubanobomi bomnye nomnye. Kodwa ukuba bayakuxelela 'izinto ziyakwahluka ngelixesha,' yeyiphi umahluko ophathekayo onokuyibona, okanye ubeka ukholo lwakho kwizithembiso ezililize?
Ukuba imiba efanayo iyaqhubeka ikusahlula phakathi, kuya kufuneka ubenenyani kwaye uzibuze ukuba izinto ziya kuze zitshintshe ngokwenene.
Ukuba ivakalelwa kukuba izinto zihamba ngendlela efanayo nakudala, amathuba aya kuba njalo.
5. Ngaba ulindele okuninzi kakhulu kwi ex yakho?
Ngamanye amaxesha unqwenela kakhulu ukuba izinto zisebenze kangangokuba uhlale ubuyela kwi-ex yakho ngethemba lokuba izinto ziya kwahluka.
Ukuba ulindele i-ex yakho ukuba itshintshe ngandlela ithile ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho busebenze, ngaba ukhe wacinga ukuba usenokuba ubuza kakhulu kubo?
Ininzi kakhulu into umntu anokuyenza kwaye kufuneka itshintshele omnye umntu kwaye isebenza ngeendlela zombini. Ukuba umntu othile ukucela ukuba utshintshe okanye unikezele ngento oyikhathaleleyo ukuze wenze izinto zisebenze kunye nabo, ke jonga oku kokuvuka ukuba mhlawumbi awungabo abantu ofuna ukuba babe ngabo.
Nokuba sizama kangakanani, xa kufikwa kuloo nto, ubuntu bethu bunqabile ukutshintsha kwaye njengabantu abadala sihlala sibambekile kwiindlela zethu. Ukuba bekukho umba osisiseko kunye ne-ex yakho okokuqala, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ayizukuhamba kwaye ayinakuze ihambe kwaphela nokuba bazama kangakanani.
Inkolelo okanye ithemba lokuba umntu angatshintsha kwaye angatshintsha yenye yezona zinto ziphambili eziqhubayo kubudlelwane obuphindaphindiweyo, kodwa akulunganga komnye wenu.
Abanye abantu baphelele iipesenti ezingama-80 omnye komnye, kodwa basalahlekile loo nto ibalulekileyo engama-20% - ukuba kunjalo kuwe, zinike ithuba lokudibana nomntu oza kukuthanda nge-100% ngendlela oyiyo.
6. Ngaba uzimisele ngokupheleleyo?
Nje ukuba ukuthembela kokuqala kubudlelwane kulahlekile, kunzima ukuzibophelela ngokupheleleyo xa usiya kwixesha elizayo.
Wakhe wakhathazwa ngabo ngaphambili, kwaye awufuni kuphinda wenzakaliswe, ke kuyindalo ukuba uzive ngathi ubambe inxalenye encinci yakho kulwalamano.
Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive ulumkile okanye unqanyulwe kancinci xa unika ubudlelwane obunokubakho kwakhona elinye ithuba.
Inxalenye yakho isenokungafuni ukuvaleka ngokupheleleyo kude namathuba nabanye abantu kuba unoloyiko oluhlaselayo ngasemva kwengqondo yakho ekuxelela ukuba isenokungasebenzi nge-ex yakho.
Ukuziva ngathi oku kuyaqondakala, kodwa akunampilo komnye wenu. Ukuba ufumana amehlo akho ejikeleza kude neqabane lakho, ke kusenokwenzeka ukuba luphawu ekungafanelekanga ukuba ubenabo.
Ukubuyela nge-ex kuthetha ukuba kufuneka ushiye yonke inzondo endala emnyango kwaye uzibophelele ekwenzeni izinto zisebenze ngaphandle kokuba ubudlelwane buphela kakubi ngaphambili.
Kuya kufuneka uzilungiselele ukuba sesichengeni kwakhona, uyeke yonke into enokwenzeka ngaphambili ukuze ube nesiqalo esitsha.
Kunzima ukuvuma xa izinto ziye zophuka kakhulu ukuba zingalungiswa. Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukwahlula ezo zithintelo ngokweemvakalelo, uya kugqiba ngokuzikhusela ngokwakho nawaphi na amathemba okuhlangana kwakho okuphela njengokonwaba kwakho.
7. Thetha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho.
Ayinguwe wedwa ohamba ngokwahlukana- ngabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho. Zilapho ngeendawo eziphakamileyo kunye nezisezantsi, kwaye zithathe amaqhekeza xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle.
Ukufumana umbono wangaphandle kumntu okukhathaleleyo kunokukunika ukucaca okufunekayo ukuze wenze ukhetho olufanelekileyo.
Abahlobo kunye nosapho bafuna okona kulungileyo kuwe kwaye baya kwazi ukuba ukubuyela kwi-ex yakho kwakhona yeyona nto ilungileyo ukuyenza.
Ukuba izinto zihlala zikhona kwakhona, cima kwakhona, thetha nabahlobo bakho abasondeleyo kunye nosapho kwaye ubacele ukuba babelane ngezabo izimvo. Ukuba ubudlelwane buza kusebenza ngokwenene, uya kuyidinga inkxaso yabo.
Ukuba bayakwazi ukwamkela iqabane lakho njengenxalenye esisigxina yobomi bakho, kunokuba sisikhuthazo osifunayo ukuze izinto zisebenze zilungile.
8. Ngaba ukulungele ukuphinda wenzakaliswe?
Ingcinga ozama ukuyityhalela ngasemva kwengqondo yakho kwaye, njengokuphelelwa lithemba njengoko kusenokuvakala, awukwazi ukuyityeshela inyani yokuba ukuba wena kunye ne ex yakho nithe nahlukana ngaphambili, kukho ithuba lokuba iphinde yenzeke.
Ukuba ucinga nzulu ngokuzama kwakhona nge-ex, zibuze: ngaba ndingakwazi ukubamba enye into ebuhlungu kulo mntu ukuba le nto ayilunganga?
Lazi ixabiso lakho. Ukuba uqhubeka wenzakala kubudlelwane obunye, zisindise kwintlungu kwaye ufumane amandla okuba nguwe oza kuphula umjikelo wokuphinda uphinde uphinde.
Zibonise uthando endaweni yoko, endaweni yokuchitha ixesha lakho kunye namandla omntu owaziyo ukuba ezantsi akulunganga kuwe.
Ukuzimela linyathelo lokuqala lokuba nesibindi, ukuzithemba ngakumbi, kunye nokonwaba kuwe, kwaye uya kuzibulela ngayo ekuhambeni kwexesha.
9. Bayeke ukunxibelelana nabo.
Uzamile ukuyinika ixesha kunye nexesha kwakhona. Unamathele kumjikelo wobudlelwane obunokubakho kwakhona kwaye awubonakali usebenza.
Lixesha lokusika amaqhina kwaye uyeke ukunxibelelana.
Xa unike ubudlelwane ngaphezu kwamathuba ambalwa kwaye awukasebenzi, kufuneka kufike indawo apho uzibonakalisa khona ukuzihlonipha okukufaneleyo kwaye uhambe kude kube kuhle.
Ukuba ukhe wahendeka ukuba ubonane kwakhona ngaphambili, ke olu ayilohlobo lobudlelwane apho unakho hlukana kwaye uhlale ungumhlobo . Nobabini nidinga ixesha lokwamkela ukuba izinto ziphelile ngokulungileyo, ngaphandle kwesilingo sokubuyelana.
Isenokuba rhabaxa, kodwa ukusika uqhakamshelwano, ukucima inani labo, kunye ukuvimba imidiya yabo yoluntu inokuba kuphela kwendlela onokuthi uzinike ixesha elaneleyo kunye nendawo yokufumana ngaphezulu kwabo kwaye uqhubeke.
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Abantu bayatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukwahlukana kulula njengokuzifumana kunye nomntu olungileyo ngexesha elingalunganga. Ixesha elahlukileyo linokunika ithuba lokuxabisa into obenayo kwaye ikunike nethuba lokusebenzela nina ngokwenu ukuba nibe ngabantu enisoloko nifuna ukuba babe ngabo.
Kodwa ukuba izinto zihlala zingaphumeleli, thatha ixesha kunye nendawo ukuqonda ukuba lo mntu ngowakho na okanye ulwandle olukhawulezayo, ukukutsalela kwinto eyaziwayo kodwa eyonakalisayo.
i-austin 3 16 ihempe
Nyaniseka kwaye uyinyani nesiqu sakho xa ubuza ukuba ungabona ngokwenene kwikamva lakho. Ukuba akunjalo, yenzani nobabini nobabini kwaye nizifumanele kwisigqibo sokuhamba kude kube ngoku.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ngobudlelwane bakho obungaphandle? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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