Ukuba usandul 'ukwahlukana kwaye ucinga ukuba umntu wakho wakudala uneemvakalelo ezimaxongo kuwe, usenokuzibuza ukuba ungazixela njani ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo bayakuthanda.
Sidibanise uluhlu lweempawu ezilula ezili-15 zokujonga ukuze zikuncede ufumane ...
1. Basenxibelelana njalo.
Ukuba wena kunye ne-ex yakho nisathetha ngoku - wow! Oku kunzima kakhulu kwizibini ezininzi, njengoko kuhlala kukho iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga, okanye zilungile imbi iimvakalelo, phakathi kwabantu ababini abaye bohlukana.
Kukho ithuba i-ex yakho iseneemvakalelo ngawe ukuba zisakuthumela umyalezo, usabonana kwiqela labahlobo, okanye basakubiza ngengxoxo.
Ngoku, wonke umntu wahlukile, kwaye ezinye izibini ngokwenyani zihlala zibahlobo emva kokwahlukana. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba okwakho usenza iinzame zokuthetha nawe kwaye akubandakanye ebomini babo, isenokuba kungenxa yokuba bengakhange badlulele phambili.
Bakufumanisa kunzima kakhulu ukwamkela ukuba anindawonye, ke benza imeko apho uhlala unxibelelana rhoqo. Ngale ndlela, bangaphantse bazikhohlise ngokuba nisadibene.
Ukuba niyathetha amaxesha ambalwa ngeveki, okanye niyancokola emnxebeni kangangeyure okanye, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ikhona into ekhoyo kubo!
2. Bazamile xa benxilile.
Xa sinxilile, abanye bethu bathetha kwaye benze izinto esingasokuze sizenze xa sober! Abanye banyanisekile, oyinyani , xa benxilile. Uyazi ukuba yeyiphi ex yakho…
Ukuba benze intshukumo kuwe xa bebesela, kusenokwenzeka ukuba basakuthanda okanye baneemvakalelo ngawe.
Benza umsebenzi olungileyo wokuyigcina kunye xa benganxilanga, kodwa xa imiqobo kunye nemida yabo yehlisiwe, abanakukwazi ukuzibamba.
Oku kunokuthetha ukuba banesithukuthezi kwaye banxilile kwaye bafuna ingqalelo ethile okanye isenokuba kuba besafuna wena.
3. Bayakuhlekisa malunga nokubuyelana kwakho.
Uninzi ‘ndiyadlala!’ Iziqhulo zikude lee neziqhulo. Yindlela yethu yokuvavanya amanzi, ukubona ukuba yeyiphi impendulo esiyifumanayo, kunye nokubuyela umva okanye ukuzikhusela kulungele ukuba into esiyithethayo ayamkelwa kakuhle.
Ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili wenze amagqabantshintshi ambalwa malunga nokubuyela kunye, okanye nokudibanisa, banokuzama ukulinganisa indlela oziva ngayo ngayo.
Mhlawumbi bayoyika ukuphuma nje kwaye bakuxelele ukuba bayakukhumbula kwaye baseneemvakalelo ngawe, ke bazimele ngasemva kwento ehlekisayo nengabhadlanga.
Banokuhleka ngendlela ohleli ngayo 'ngokusisiseko kumhla' ukuba udibene nesiselo okanye ikofu. Mhlawumbi baqhula malunga nendlela oya kuthi uphele kunye xa uneminyaka engama-80, okanye rhoqo benze amagqabantshintshi abonisa ukubuyelana.
Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, kusenokwenzeka ukuba bazama ukubona indlela oziva ngayo ngale meko, kwaye, ukuba awubonakali ebhodini, bayayicoca kwaye benze ngathi bayadlala ngalo lonke ixesha.
4. Azange bathandane namntu oko wahlukana.
Ukuba i-ex yakho ayibonakali ngathi ihambile, mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba ingakhange ihambe.
Asinguye wonke umntu obuyela kwindawo yokuthandana kwangoko, okanye ophela kubudlelwane ngokukhawuleza, siyazi. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba kucacile ukuba abanomdla ongathandani nokuthandana nabani na okanye ukufumana ii -apps okanye nokuthetha nge umbono yokufumana phaya phaya, isenokuba kungenxa yokuba abekho ngaphezulu kwakho.
Basenokuba bayayikhanyela into yokuba izinto ziphelile phakathi kwenu- ukuthandana kwakhona emva kokwahlukana kwakho kuthetha ukuba abatshatanga ngoku, kwaye banokungafuni ukuyamkela loo nto.
yintoni umahluko phakathi kwesondo nokwenza uthando
Ngokulinganayo, banokufuna nje ixesha elingakumbi lokudanisa ubudlelwane - oku kunokwenzeka ukuba kuthetha ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili usathandana nawe kwaye akakakafumani kuvalwa.
Banokuphinda babe nethemba lokuba niyakubuyela kunye- bafuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba abatshatanga xa ufuna ukuqala ubudlelwane kwakhona.
Kwaye banokungafuni ukuba ucinge are ngaphaya kwakho - ukungathandani yindlela yabo yokukuxelela ukuba basakufuna!
Ukuba baseneemvakalelo ngawe, bafuna ukulungela ukuzenza, yiyo loo nto kufuneka behlale bengatshatanga… xa kunokwenzeka.
5. Bahlala bekhumbula malunga nobudlelwane.
Ukuba baqala ukuthetha ngezinto ozenzileyo kunye, okanye bafumane iindlela zokuzisebenzisa kwincoko, umntu wakho wangaphambili usenokuba usathandana nawe kwaye uvavanya amanzi.
Yinto eqhelekileyo ukukhumbula kwaye kusempilweni ukujonga ngothando kubudlelwane, kodwa isenokuba kukude kakhulu…
Ukuba i-ex yakho izakuhamba ithethe ngobuhlobo bakho, okanye uthetha 'ngeentsuku ezimnandi zakudala,' bazama ukukwazisa ukuba basafuna ukuba nawe.
Banethemba lokuba ngokukukhumbuza ukuba zazinkulu kangakanani izinto xa nindawonye, uya kuyitshintsha ingqondo kwaye ufune ukuba babuye.
Kwakhona, banokuthi baphike malunga nenyaniso yokuba awusekho kunye. Oku kunokuba yinto yokuzikhusela, kuba bazama ukukholisa wena kunye nabo ngokwabo ukuba izinto zilungile kwaye niza kubuya kunye.
6. Bayaba nomona xa ukhankanya umntu omtsha.
Wakha waziva ex yakho ufumana isuntswana uyinqaba ukuba ude ukukhankanya ukuba ukuthandana app?
Le yenye yezona ndawo zinzima ze ukuba ngumhlobo ne ex yakho -Ukuba basathandana nawe, okanye baneemvakalelo ezingacacanga ngawe, ngekhe bafune ukukubona uqhubeka.
Ungaqaphela ukuba bayacaphuka okanye bayonwaba xa ukhankanya ukuthandana, okanye benza ‘iziqhulo’ ezitenxileyo ukuba bakubona kwi-app yokuthandana. Ukuba bazama ukukwenza uzive ungathandani, mhlawumbi basakukhathalele.
Ungaqaphela ukuba bazama ukukwenza uzive unetyala, kwaye banokucebisa ukuba akulunganga okanye 'kungekudala' ukuqala ukuphinda uthandane.
Ngokulinganayo, banokuzama ukukwenza uzive ungakhuselekanga, ngokuthetha izinto ezinje ‘ngethamsanqa ngezo foto,’ umzekelo, ukuba bayakubona kwiTinder okanye kwihenjisi.
isihloko esifanelekileyo ukuthetha ngaso
Le yindlela yabo yokuzama ukukuhlisa ukuze uyeke ukuthandana- kwaye ubuyele kubo. Ayisiyongozi kwaye inetyhefu, kwaye ibonisa ukuba umntu wakho wakudala usathandana nawe.
7. Abahlobo babo nabo bayayicinga loo nto.
Ukuba awuhlali unxibelelana ne-ex yakho, ungangabinayo nofifi lokuba baziva njani. Ngethamsanqa, abo basondeleyo kubo baya…
Abahlobo babo banokwenza izimvo zokulahla xa i-ex yakho ingekho, kwaye banokuthetha izinto ezinje ‘Abekho ngaphaya kwakho’ okanye ‘Bathetha ngawe ngalo lonke ixesha.’ Oku kukubonisa ukuba umhlobo wabo useneemvakalelo ngawe.
Banokuthi bayitsho kuba umntu wakho wakudala ubacelile ukuba balahle iingcebiso kwaye bavavanye amanzi ukuze babone ukuba usabela njani. Ngokulinganayo, banokuthi bayitsho kuba bafuna ukuba uyazi ukuba i-ex yakho ayenzi kakuhle ngokwahlukana.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, ukuba abahlobo bakho bangaphambili bacinga ukuba basakuthanda, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba bayakwenza! Abahlobo bahlala besazi ngcono kunokuba sizazi, emva kwayo yonke loo nto.
8. Bafumana abadlala ngothando ngamanye amaxesha.
Sikhankanyile i-ex eyonxila kwaye ihambise kuwe, kodwa uthini malunga nabo bathanda ukuhlala ixesha elide kwaye bafumane kancinci naye unobungane
I-ex yakho isenokungahambi, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iwela umgca wobuhlobo.
Mhlawumbi babamba ukudibana kwamehlo okomzuzwana kakhulu, okanye bafumana izizathu zokuba babe kufutshane kuwe kwaye bakuchukumise- njengokucofa ngaphaya kwebhari, okanye ukuhlala uhleli ecaleni kwakho xa ujinga nabahlobo bakho.
Banokwenza amagqabantshintshi, okanye ulwimi lwabo lomzimba kunokuba banike nje i-vibe yokuba bazama ukutsala umdla wakho.
Thatha inyani yokuba bangowakho ngaphandle kwe-equation umzuzwana. Ukuba lo yayingowasemzini ngomhla wokuqala osebenza ngale ndlela, ungacinga ukuba bangaphakathi kuwe? Ukuba impendulo nguewe, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba i-ex yakho nayo isekhona kuwe.
9. Basazama ukukuchukumisa.
Ungaqaphela ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili wenza ngendlela ‘abahlobo nje’ abangazenzi ngayo. Banokubonisa phambi kwakho, njengokwehla kwegama okanye ukuthetha ngazo zonke izinto ezinkulu abazenzileyo. Basenokuba bafuna ukuvunywa okanye ukuboniswa.
ungaxelela njani umfana ukuba akangeni kuwe
Mhlawumbi baphuma kwindlela yabo yokuqinisekisa ukuba uyazi ukuba benza ntoni, okanye kunjalo uziva njengale nto bayithethayo yenzelwe inzuzo yakho.
Ukuba bayazi ukuba uyabathanda abafana abangena kwezemidlalo, banokuba ngokuvakalayo bathetha ngendlela abafaneleka ngayo kunye nayo yonke imidlalo ngoku ekufuneka beyibukele.
Banokubonisa ngoku-odola iibhotile zewayini etafileni xa uphumile nabahlobo, okanye uthumela kwimithombo yeendaba malunga nobomi babo. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, bafuna ukuba ubaqaphele!
10. Benza iinzame zokubonisa ukuba batshintshile.
Ukuba bacinga ukuba wahlukana ngenxa yokuba ungahambelani, ex yakho isenokungahambi kwindlela yabo ukubonisa ukuba bathathe konke oko ebhodini.
Umzekelo, ukuba ubuyithanda ibhola ngelixa nikunye kodwa umntu wakudala engazange abenombambano, banokuba ngoku bayenza icace gca ukuba ngoku uthando nebhola ekhatywayo nayo.
Ukuba ubuhlala uphikisana kuba bengafuni ukuya kwi-vegan, banokuhamba ngendlela yabo ukubonisa ukuba batshintshile ukuze bakukholise- ukwenza into enkulu yokujonga ukutya kwabo kuya kuba yivenkile kwindawo yokutyela , umzekelo, okanye ubhengeze ngokuvakalayo ukuba batshintshele kubisi olungenalo ubisi.
Ukuba bazama ukufumana ingqalelo yakho kwaye uqiniseke ukuba uyazi njani iyamangalisa kunjalo, mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba baseneemvakalelo ngawe kwaye bafuna ukukuqinisekisa ukuba ubuyele kubo.
11 Bothuka bakugqiba izinto.
Ukuziphatha kwe-ex yakho ngoku kubalulekile, kodwa kunjalo nokuziphatha kwabo xa izinto ziqala ukuphela.
Ukuba bothukile okanye bothuka xa izinto ziphelile, basenokungabi ngaphezulu kwayo.
Nokuba sibuphelisa ubudlelwane ngokwethu, kungasithatha ixesha ukuphola kwaye silunge- sonke kufuneka sibuhlungu ngokuphulukana nobudlelwane kunye nomntu, izimvo kunye nethemba ebesinalo ngobomi bethu sikunye.
Oku kunzima kakhulu ukukwenza xa kuphuma kublowu. Ukuba i-ex yakho ibingalindelanga ukuba izinto ziphele, kunokuba nzima ukuba bayicombulule- kwaye, ngenxa yoko, abakabikho kuwe.
12. Bahlala bethumela imiyalezo eluhlaza.
Nokuba wena ne-ex yakho nisancokola njengabahlobo okanye khange nithethe okoko izinto ziphelile, lo ngumqondiso ophambili ekufuneka ujongiwe.
Ngaba umntu wakho wangaphambili uvela imiyalezo? Mhlawumbi bathumela iifoto bathi 'oku kundenze ndacinga ngawe,' okanye 'khumbula xa besithatha le foto kunye?'
Banokucela ingcebiso yakho kwinto abanokuyibuza omnye umntu-okanye kwaGoogle nje!
Ukuba babonakala bethumela imiyalezo kuwe ngaphandle kwesizathu, basenokuba bayakuthanda kwaye bafumanisa izizathu zokuncokola.
Ungaqaphela ukuba iitekisi ziya zisibaye ngakumbi-zinokuba ziqale ngathi 'ucinga ukuba ndingazithenga ezi zihlangu?' Okanye 'Ndifuna uncedo kule projekthi,' kodwa ngoku zifana ' Ngaba igama lale bhanyabhanya sayibona ngomhla wethu wokuqala? 'okanye' oku kundikhumbuza ngeempelaveki zethu e-Barcelona. '
Ukuba bafumana iindlela zokufikelela kuwe okanye benza izizathu zokuba bathumele imiyalezo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba baneemvakalelo ngawe.
silitshintsha njani ilizwe?
13. Baqhubeka ‘ngengozi’ beshayisa kuwe.
Wakha waziva ngathi i-ex yakho… ihleli ikho ?!
Bayakwazi, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuze baqale ixesha yabo ikofu yakusasa kule cafe inye bayaziyo wena yiya ku - ngexesha ngqo oya kulo emva kweklasi yakho ye-9am yoga.
Ukuba zibonakala ngathi ziyavela kuyo yonke le ndawo, isenokungabi ngamabona-ndenzile. Basenokujinga ngapha nangapha benethemba lokukubona, nokuba abade beze kubulisa.
Mhlawumbi ubabonile bexhonywe kwimivalo obukade uhamba kunye, okanye batshintshe uhambo lwabo lokuhamba bedlula kwindlu yakho. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, ayisiyongxaki ukuba iyaqhubeka isenzeka - bafuna ukukubona kuba basakuthanda.
14. Zizonke kwimidiya yakho yoluntu.
Ukuba umntu wakho wakudala ubukela onke amabali akho e-Instagram, bajonge ngasemva begcina iithebhu kuwe. Ukuba bafuna ukwenza oku ngasese, bayakufumana indlela.
Basenokufuna ukuba uqaphele ukuba bayawajonga amabali akho, okanye banokujonga ukuba ujonga umntu omtsha.
Banokuba nesibindi ngokwaneleyo sokuthanda iifoto zakho okanye bathumele 'iimpendulo' kumabali akho. Le yindlela yabo yokwazisa ukuba basekhona - mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba besenomdla kuwe.
15. Unemvakalelo nje…
Ungaze uyigxothe imvakalelo yamathumbu- ngakumbi xa kufikwa kubudlelwane!
Kulungile, abayikubhobhoza ngemiyalezo okanye balalele kuyo yonke ikhefi oke waya kuyo, kodwa… ufumana nje i-vibe yokuba abekho ngaphezulu kwakho.
Inokuba yinto ecekeceke njengethoni yelizwi elikungqongileyo, okanye uluvo olunikelwe ngaphandle, kodwa ungatsho ukuba ikhona into eyenzekayo. Mhlawumbi abanakukwazi ukuhlangabezana namehlo akho xa ubaleka kubo, okanye mhlawumbi babambe ukudibana kwamehlo ixesha elide.
Uyazi ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili unjani, kwaye uyakuyazi into abaxelwa yiyo 'ngaphezulu kunaye nabani na. Uyazi xa befihla into okanye betshintsha, kwaye uyazi xa bekwi-'charmer 'ngokupheleleyo kwaye bazama ukukuchukumisa.
Sebenzisa olo lwazi ukufumanisa ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kanye kanye…
Ukwahlukana kunzima, nokuba ngubani ophelise izinto, kwaye kungasithatha sonke isixa esithile sexesha ukuba sigqithe kubo kwaye siqhubeke.
Kukho onke amathuba okuba umntu wakho wangaphambili usathandana nawe, ngakumbi ukuba bafumana izizathu zokuba babekufutshane nawe, bathethe nawe, ‘bump’ kuwe…
Ukuba ucinga ukuba basenokuba neemvakalelo ngawe, mhlawumbi ulungile.
Ngoku ukuba uyazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni, ungagqiba ukuba wenzeni-nokuba ungathetha ngokuphandle nabo kwaye uyenze icace indlela oziva ngayo, enokubanceda ukuba bavale kwaye baqhubeke, okanye bangakuhoyi kwaye banethemba lokuba bayakufumana indlela yokuhamba kubo.
Okanye, ukuba ucinga ukuba izinto zinokulunga ukuba unike enye indlela, ungasondela kubo ngokuzithemba ukuba bafuna okufanayo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba uziva njani umntu wakudala? Ngaba ufuna ukubabuyisa? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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