Ukuhamba ngokwahlukana akukaze kube lula, nokuba nguwe okhethe ukuphelisa izinto okanye zona.
Unokuziva ngathi awusoze uphumelele kwi-ex yakho, okanye awusoze uphinde wonwabe.
Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kodwa kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba izinto ziya kuba ngcono.
Ukuba ukhathazekile malunga neqabane lakho langaphambili liqhubeka ngelixa usahleli kwisithuba 'sokulila', nazi ezinye zeendlela zokumelana…
1. Mhlawumbi bayayenza.
Cinga ukuba kutheni ucinga ukuba bahambile.
Iifoto ezikwi-Instagram, umntu okhankanya ukuba ubone i-ex yakho nomntu omtsha, ukuba zivele kwiTinder yomhlobo?
Nokuba izinto zijongeka kanjani ebomini be-ex yakho, awusoze wazi ukuba baziva njani ngokwenene malunga nokwahlukana.
Kwaye kulungile.
Kunokuba nzima ngenene ukuphulukana nomntu ebomini bakho kwaye ngesiquphe ungazi ukuba baziva njani okanye benza ntoni.
Siqhela sazi kakhulu yonke into malunga nomntu esinaye ukuba isiqingatha sesiqingatha intlungu yokuqhekeka akanalo olo lwazi!
Kulungile ukuziva unomsindo okanye ucaphukile ukuba kubonakala ngathi bahambile phambi kwakho, kodwa baya kujongana neengcinga zabo kunye neemvakalelo zabo, njengawe.
Banokubonakala ngathi banako konke kunye kwaye baye baqhubeka, kodwa khumbula ukuba awuyazi eyona nto iqhubeka kubo!
Nokuba bayayenza okanye abayenzi, zama ukulibala malunga ne-ex yakho kwaye ujonge kuwe kwaye uqhubeke nobomi bakho.
2. Ayikhuphi into eninayo kunye.
Enye yezona zinto zimbi malunga nokuhamba phambili ngaphambi kokuba wenze uyazibuza ukuba bakukhathalele ngokwenene, akunjalo?
Uyabona ukuba bayaphuma kwaye bayonwaba, okanye umhlobo wakho ukhankanya ukuba batshintshe ubume babo bobudlelwane kwi-Facebook, kwaye uqala ukubuza ukuba bakuthandile na!
Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kodwa zama ukuthatha inyathelo ubuye umva kolu hlobo lokucinga.
Sonke sihamba sisuka kubudlelwane ngeendlela zethu kunye nesantya sethu. Oko akuthethi ukuba umntu ebesinaye ebengenaxesha lethu ngelo xesha.
Cinga ngomsebenzi wokugqibela owawuwushiyileyo-ewe, wemka kwaye wonwabile emsebenzini wakho omtsha, kodwa wawuthatha lo msebenzi mdala kuba wawufuna ngelo xesha, kwaye wahlala kuba wawonwabela.
Inyaniso yokuba ngoku usemsebenzini omtsha ayithethi ukuba lo msebenzi mdala wawungenamsebenzi kuwe usukile nje kuba wawungasasebenzi.
Zama ukubona ubudlelwane bakho ngale ndlela.
amadoda anokuzithemba okuphantsi kubudlelwane
Ewe, banokuba baqhubekile, kodwa into ebeninayo kunye ibikhethekile kwaye kulungile ukuba iphelile ngoku.
Nobabini niseneenkumbulo ezintle kunye kwaye oko kwakuthetha into kuni nobabini.
3. Ixesha liyaphilisa onke amanxeba.
Eli lizwi liyimbonakalo yesizathu esivakalayo.
Okwangoku, unokuziva ngathi awusoze ufumane omnye umntu onomtsalane, ukuba awusoze uvuke kwaye uphinde uzive kamnandi, okanye awusoze uphinde wonwabe.
Oku kulungile ukuziva, okwexeshana elifutshane… kodwa kuyakudlula.
Awudingi ukwenza njongo okanye ube nesicwangciso endaweni- izinto ziya kuba lula ngokwazo, ngexesha labo.
Zinike ixesha elincinci ukuba ulile kwaye ulile ubudlelwane, kodwa musa ukuziqumbela kule mvakalelo.
Yiba nomonde kwaye ube nobubele kuwe kwaye, ngaphambi kokuba wazi, usuku ngalunye luya kuba lula kancinci kwaye uya kuziva ngakumbi nangakumbi ngokwakho.
Kude kube, ngenye imini, uya kuziva ulungele ukuqala ukuthandana kwakhona. Okanye uyakuqonda ukuba wonwabile wedwa okwangoku, kwaye uchitha nje ixesha lakho ukonwaba kwaye ujonge inombolo yokuqala!
uyenza njani indoda ikuhloniphe
4. Hlala uxakekile kwaye unonxibelelwano.
Ke, ukuba ufuna ukukhawulezisa izinto kancinci kwaye uphume kweso sigaba sinyikima sikrakra ngokukhawuleza, hlala uxakekile!
Ingaziva phantse ingenakwenzeka ukwenza nantoni na ngaphandle kokukhala kunye nokuziva ngamanye amaxesha, ngokungathi ukhubazekile yintlungu yentliziyo, kodwa kufuneka uzame ukwenza izinto.
Siza kukuxelela ukuba unamathele kuhlobo oluthile lwesiqhelo, kodwa siyazi ukuba oku akuyonyani kuninzi lwabantu kumanqanaba okuqala okwahlukana!
Endaweni yoko, yenza izinto ezikonwabisa kwaye wenze konke okusemandleni ukuzigcina uphazamiseka.
Yiba nabantu. Kulula kakhulu ukuzifihla kude nosapho kunye nabahlobo ngexesha lokwahlukana - ngakumbi ukuba umntu wakho wakudala uhambile phambi kwakho kwaye uziva ukwaliwa kwaye ukhathazekile- kodwa ngeli xesha ufuna abantu abakungqongileyo kunakuqala.
Chitha ixesha nabantu obathandayo, gcina ingqondo yakho ingaziva unomsindo, kwaye ngokwendalo uya kuqala ukuqhubela phambili.
Ukuba wabelana nabahlobo bakho abaninzi nge-ex yakho, setha imida-hlala kunye nabo, kodwa yenze icace ukuba awufuni kuva malunga ne-ex yakho kubo!
Kuyalingwa kakhulu ukubuza ukuba baqhuba njani okanye ukuba sele befumene iqabane elitsha, kodwa uya kube uzithuthumbisa kwaye ngekhe ufumane impendulo ngqo oyifunayo.
Endaweni yoko, qhubeka uxhoma kunye nabo, kodwa yenze indawo engenasimahla!
5. Zisuse ebomini bakho.
Oku kunokuvakala kunzima, kodwa kuya kunceda.
Sonke siyayicaphukela ingcinga yokungaze uphinde ulibone iqabane lakho emva kokuba sahlukene!
Yinto eyoyikekayo- nilichithile lonke elixesha kunye kwaye nabelana kakhulu, kwaye ngoku… iphelile?!
Indlela yokuqhubela phambili koku kukuqhubeka nobomi bakho, ngokwakho.
Isenokuziva yoyikisa kwaye ikhathazekile, kodwa yeyona ilungileyo.
uphuma nini wonke american
Cima imbali yakho yomyalezo kunye nabo kwifowuni yakho, sukulandela kubo kwimidiya yoluntu, kunye ndiyeke ukusuka ekuyeni kwibhar uyazi ukuba bahlala bekho!
Ukuba umntu wakho wakudala uhambile phambi kwakho, ufuna ixesha lakho ngokwakho ukuqhubela phambili.
Yeka ukujonga kubo okanye ukulandela i-Instagram yabo kwaye uqhelane nobomi bakho ngaphandle kwabo.
Ingathatha ixesha, kodwa ukuya kubusika turkey kuyakukhawulezisa izinto ngokukhawuleza xa usuka kwi ex yakho.
6. Lahla izikhumbuzo.
Sonke sinento esikhumbuza nge-ex yethu-i-hoodie yabo, ikhadi abasinike lona, okanye ibhrashi yabo yamazinyo kwindawo yethu yangasese.
Nokuba yeyiphi na, kufuneka ihambe!
Ezi zinto zithetha lukhulu, kodwa zisikhumbuza ngobuhlobo bethu kwaye ziya kukwenza uzive ubuhlungu kuphela.
Eli phupha ngenene lilula - ngaphandle kwamehlo, ngaphandle kwengqondo, emva kwayo yonke loo nto.
7. Yenza isifungo - kuwe.
Zixelele ukuba awuyi kufikelela kubo.
Kuvakala kusisiseko, kodwa kuyasebenza.
Cima inombolo yabo ukuze ungabafowuneli xa uphumile kwaye unxilile kwaye uziva ulusizi.
Zixelele ukuba awuyi kubathumela umyalezo okanye ubambe iprofayile yabo ye-Instagram kwaye unamathele kuyo.
Yibhale phantsi kwicandelo lamanqaku kwifowuni yakho ukuba ufuna uku- le yinto yokufunda emva kwexesha elizayo xa uziva ukhathazekile kwaye ulingelwe ukuba ubathumele umyalezo!
Kwakhona - kulula, kodwa kuyasebenza.
8. Musa ‘ngengozi’ ukungqubana nazo.
Ukuba ulahlekelwe liqabane lakho kwaye uzive ngathi sele behambile, kunokuba njalo ke ukulingwa kwinqanaba lokubaleka ngaphakathi.
Uyazi ukuba yeyiphi ibhari abaya kuba kuyo ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku, uyazi ukuba yeyiphi indawo yokutyela abaya kuyo ngeCawa, kwaye uyazi ishedyuli yabo ngentliziyo.
Melana nesilingo sokuba apho baya kuba khona.
Oku kukugcinela isidima esikhulu kwaye kuya kukunceda ukuba ufunde indlela yokuphila ngaphandle kwabo. Kungabonakala kungenakwenzeka ngalo mzuzu, kodwa uyakufika khona!
Ngokucacisa nakweyiphi na inqanaba lokubaleka, uya kuba ulinceda ngokwenene ikamva lakho, uthembele kuthi.
9. Khumbula isayensi.
Ukuba uziva ngathi ayinakwenzeka ngoku, khumbula ukuba izakudlula.
Ingqondo yakho inokusabela kwamachiza ngalo mzuzu, yiyo loo nto uziva ukhathazekile kwaye uxakekile- kwaye kutheni usokola ukufikelela kubo.
Kutheni kungekho mntu undimamelayo
Ukwazi oku kunokuthuthuzela, njengoko uqaphela Ufuna ukukhwela ngaphandle kokungalingani kwemichiza okwethutyana.
Iingqondo zethu ziba likhoboka lendlela esivakalelwa ngayo ukuba sonwabile, kwaye xa umthombo wolo lonwabo uhamba, iingqondo zethu ziye zehle ngesiquphe kwezo mvakalelo zonwabileyo (ezizezi, dopamine).
Ufuna nje ukufikelela kwelo xesha lifutshane apho ulungisa khona.
Ukwazi ukuba ukwaphuka kwentliziyo kuza kuphela kungekudala kuyintuthuzelo, ngenene!
10. Yiba sengqiqweni.
Ukuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukugqitha kwi-ex kwaye sele behambile, mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka uthembeke ngakumbi kuwe.
Kulula kakhulu ukuyibeka kwimiboniso e-rose-tinted kwaye ukhumbule kuphela izinto ezintle zobudlelwane bakho, kodwa kusenokufuneka ucinge ngezinto ezimbi ukuze uqhubeke nazo.
Asitsho ukuba ngesiquphe singasebenzi ulwalamano lwakho kwaye senze ngokungathi konke kwakubi , kodwa nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho.
Usenakho ukuba neenkumbulo ezimnandi zazo, kodwa zikhumbuze ngezinto oye wazithandabuza endleleni, okanye inyani yokuba mhlawumbi ucinga ngabanye abantu ngelixa benikunye.
Ingcebiso yebhonasi-dibana nomnye umntu.
Le yincam yebhonasi kuba ayisiyiyo into eza kusebenza kuwo wonke umntu!
Kuxhomekeka kuhlobo lobuntu bakho, unokufuna ukuba ube nomnye umntu ukuze ufumane okungaphaya kwi-ex.
Abanye abantu baya kufumanisa ukuba ukuqhubekeka neemvakalelo zabo kunye nokuthatha lamanyathelo angentla ukuqhubekeka nokusuka kunceda kakhulu…
… Kodwa abanye abantu banokukufumanisa kuluncedo kakhulu ukuba kunye nomnye umntu ukuze ugqibe kwi-ex.
Qiniseka ukuba uyonwabile ngale nto uyenzayo kwaye uyicingile kuqala - ungayi kwindawo enxila yobusuku obunye enxilileyo njengoko oku kunokudala idrama engaphezulu!
Khuselekile, cinga ngento oyenzayo, kwaye uhambe apho.
Ke, ngoku ukuba ufundile olu luhlu, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba likho ithemba!
Uya kufumana i-ex yakho kwaye akunamsebenzi ukuba sele behambile phambi kwakho.
Sonke sisebenza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ke yenza oko uziva ulungile kwaye ungangxami kwinkqubo.
Izinto zithatha ixesha, kodwa uya kuziva ungcono kwaye wonwabe kwakhona kungekudala.
Ukuziva ulusizi kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kodwa akuyi kuhlala ngonaphakade. Gxila kuwe kwaye wenze oko kukusebenzelayo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungamelana njani ne-ex yakho eqhubeka ngaphambi kokuba ube nayo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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