Ukuphikisana kwabantakwenu akusoloko kuphelela ebuntwaneni. Inyaniso, isifundo seYunivesithi yase-Oakland ibonise ukuba malunga ne-30% yabaphenduliyo baziva ubutshaba okanye ukungakhathali kubantakwabo abadala. Elo linani elibi ngelishwa kuba abantakwenu bathanda ukuba lolona lwalamano luhlala ixesha elide ebomini.
Ukulungisa olo lwalamano lonakeleyo kungakhokelela kubuhlobo obumnandi kwaye kubonelele ngesiseko esomeleleyo sokujongana nemiceli mngeni yobomi.
Umzekelo, njengokuba abazali bakho bekhula, baya kufuna inkathalo nengqwalaselo engakumbi. Ukugcina ukhathalelo kulula ngakumbi xa uxanduva lwahlulwe phakathi kwabantu kwaye lusondela njengeqela. Kodwa kuya kusiba nzima ngakumbi apho ukubangisana kwabantakwenu abadala kubandakanyekayo.
Nabani na onomntakwenu uya kuba nakho ukukuxelela malunga namaxesha abazali babo ababethanda umntakwabo. Isenokungabi ngumzamo oqinisekileyo wabazali, kodwa ukukhetha ubuso kunokubangela zonke iintlobo zeemvakalelo ezinzima kunye nengxabano.
Uninzi lwabantu luyayidlula loo nto njengoko bekhula. Kodwa abanye abantu abayenzi. Kwaye abanye abantu bakhula nezinye iingxaki ezikhuthaza ubutshaba babo kunye nomona de babe badala.
Oonobangela bokuphikisana kwabantu abadala
Ukuphikisana kwabantu abadala kubantakwenu akusoloko kubangelwa kukungakwazi ukusebenza kakuhle kubuntwana. Njengabantakwenu bekhula, balandela iindlela zabo njengabantu abadala abazimeleyo abanokungahambi njengoko bebecwangcisile. Iimvakalelo ezifana nomona kunye nomona zinokwandisa usukuzwano lube kwimeko ephazamisa usapho.
Isenokuba ngudade oqhawule umtshato onomona wokuba umtshato womntakwabo uphilile.
Ingaba ngumzalwana onomona ngempumelelo yomntakwabo kunye namathuba omsebenzi amvulekileyo.
Endaweni yokonwaba ngempumelelo yomntakwabo, iba lukhuphiswano engqondweni yabo kunye nento abanokuba nomsindo nobukrakra ngayo.
ungaxelela njani umntu ukuba uyabathanda
Ngamanye amaxesha usukuzwano lwabantu abadala bomntakwethu alubanga ngabom. Usisi unokuba nomona ngobudlelwane bomntakwabo nabazali babo. Kusondele kakhulu kuba umzalwana uhlala kufutshane nabazali, ke uyababona rhoqo kwaye unokwakha ubudlelwane obomeleleyo nabo ngenxa yoko.
Isenokwenzeka ukuba lo dade ujike afane nomzali ngaphezu komntakwabo, ke bayavana ngcono kwaye babonakala benonxibelelwano olunzulu. Ubhuti unomona kolo nxibelelwano kodwa akayazi indlela yokwenza lula ubudlelwane obungcono nomzali. Umzali usenokuba ukhuthaza ukungavisisani phakathi kwabantakwabo ngengozi kuba abaqondi ukuba babaphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo abantwana babo.
Ke kukho imeko xa abazali baba ngootatomkhulu kwaye kubonakala komnye umntakwabo ukuba babonisa abantwana bomnye umntakwabo uthando nothando ngakumbi kunabo. Ukuba umona okanye umona wawusele ukhona, oku kungawukhulisa. Kodwa nokuba kwakungekho mbambano ngaphambili, ukuphathwa ngendlela ekhethekileyo komzukulwana omnye komnye kunokuba nokwanela ukubakho.
Oko ngenene kukrwela umphezulu. Kukho iingxaki ezinzulu, ezinzima nangakumbi ezinokubangela usukuzwano lusongelwe ngamandla okuhlukumeza ngaphandle kwenqaku le-intanethi.
yintoni oza kuyidlala ekhaya xa udikiwe
Ubudlelwane bunokuchaphazeleka kukuhlala ixesha elide ekuphatheni gadalala nasekhaya kunye nobundlobongela abafumene abantwana babo kwiminyaka yabo yobuntwana, ngakumbi ukuba umzali ophethe gadalala uthanda ukuxabanisa abantakwabo. Olo monakalo luya kuqhubeka nokuba mdala, apho luya kuthatha uncedo lobuchwephesha ukoyisa.
Indlela yokujongana nokuBambisana nabantu abadala
Izicwangciso ezahlukeneyo zinokwamkelwa ukujongana nembangi kuxhomekeke ekubeni yeyiphi indima oyidlalayo kusapho olunamandla. Makhe sijonge ezinye zeendlela kwindima nganye.
Njengokujoliswe kuko kusukuzwano…
Njengokujolisa kukhuphiswano, kukho izisombululo ezinokubakho.
Eyokuqala kwaye icace gca kukuba uhlale phantsi uthethe uphume. Buza umntakwenu ukuba ngowuphi umbandela kwaye ungasifumana isisombululo soxolo kwingxaki leyo.
Ukumamela isikhalazo sabo kunokwanela ukudibanisa iimvakalelo zabo, ngakumbi ukuba baziva ngathi abahlawulwa nganto okanye akukho mntu ubakhathaleleyo abajongana nako.
Usenokufumanisa ukuba ingxaki ayisiyiyo le nto ubucinga ukuba inokuba yiyo. Unxibelelwano luhlala linyathelo lokuqala elibalulekileyo.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntakwenu akafuni kusebenza nawe kuyo? Kuthekani ukuba bafuna ukubamba ngomsindo wabo nomona?
Inketho esele kuwe emva koko kukutshintsha indlela onxibelelana ngayo namandla. Ungayitshintsha indlela yokuziphatha komntu wonke onamandla ngokutshintsha eyakho.
Kutheni le nto abantu benemicimbi yokuthemba
Umzekelo, masithi umntakwenu unomsindo kuwe kwaye uzama ukukuloba kumlo. Elo qhinga liphulukana namandla alo amaninzi xa usala ukubandakanyeka kwimpikiswano.
Ngcono nangakumbi, ukuba ungaphendula ngokuzola nangokucacileyo, iyabaphosa kude abantu abalindele ukuba umsindo wabo uhlangane nomsindo.
Njengomntakwenu ogcina usukuzwano…
Zibuze, 'Kutheni?' Ngaba uyasiqonda isizathu sokuba ungazithandi umntwana wakowenu?
Ngaba ngumona? Umona? Ngaba uziva ngathi abazali bakho abakuthandi ngokungathi bathanda umntakwenu?
Okanye hee, mhlawumbi umntakwenu luhlobo lokuxhuzula, kwaye kukho isizathu esivakalayo sokuziva ungathandekiyo kubo.
Mhlawumbi bayinkosi kwimpumelelo yabo ebomini kuwe kuba bakhuphisana nawe kwaye bazama ukuqala iingxabano ngaloo ndlela. Kwimeko enjalo, akunakukhetha nyani ngaphandle kokunciphisa ixesha olichitha kunye nabo.
Ukuchonga ezo mvakalelo zingalunganga kuya kukunceda ukuba ucebe ikhondo lokusombulula kunye nokoyisa.
Ukuba uziva ngathi awufumani xesha laneleyo kubazali bakho, mhlawumbi ungalungiselela ukuba uchithe ixesha elininzi kunye nabo okanye utsale umnxeba rhoqo ukufumana ubomi. Zama ukugcina elo xesha lisemgangathweni kuwe nabazali bakho (okanye kubandakanya iqabane / abantwana bakho), ukuze umntakwenu angabikho ukuze akhuphisane nokuqwalaselwa ngabazali bakho.
Ukuba unomona ngobomi bomntakwenu obubonakala bonwabile kwaye buyimpumelelo kunye / okanye ubudlelwane, zikhumbuze ukuba abukho ubomi obugqibeleleyo kwaye into oyibonayo ngaphezulu ayinakubonakalisa ubunyani bemeko yabo. Banokuxinezeleka kakhulu ngumsebenzi okanye bazabalaze ukugcina umtshato wabo kunye, kodwa oku kungafihlakala emehlweni akho nakwilizwe liphela.
Umona unokusingathwa ngombulelo. Kulula ukujonga ubomi bomnye umntu kwaye ufune izinto abonakala enazo, kodwa uyema kangaphi, ujonge ubomi bakho, kwaye unike umbulelo ngazo zonke ezo zinto unazo kwaye uzonwabele? Olu tshintsho lwembono lunokuthomalalisa umona oqhubekayo kunye nenzondo onayo kuwe nomntakwenu.
Umbulelo unokwandiswa kulwalamano lwakho nabazali bakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umntakwenu unokuba nolwalamano olunzulu nolusondeleyo nabazali bakho, kodwa usenabo ubudlelwane nabo obunethemba lokufumana isabelo sothando, uthando kunye nokunxibelelana. Yiba nombulelo ngolwalamano onalo nabazali bakho, ungabi nomona ngalowo umntakwenu unaye.
Ngamanye amaxesha ibaleka nzulu kunoko, nangona kunjalo. Ukuba wena nabantakwenu ukhulele kwikhaya elixhaphazayo okanye elingakhathaliyo, olona khetho lwakho luza kuba kukuthetha nengcali yezempilo yengqondo ukujongana nezi mvakalelo kunye nokuphilisa.
Njengomzali wabantakwenu abakhuphisanayo…
Kuyadanisa ukubukela abantwana bakho besilwa bodwa. Indawo yehlabathi inendawo embi, kwaye usapho kuphela kwendawo yokusabela enabantu abaninzi.
Inyani elusizi kukuba le ayongxaki onokuyisombulula abantwana bakho. Endaweni yoko, unokuzama ukuququzelela ukulungisa ibhulorho ngokunxibelelana ngokucacileyo nabantwana bakho, uzame ukubabonisa (kunye nabantwana babo) ingqalelo elinganayo, kwaye uthathe umdla olinganayo kubomi babo (nakubo babantwana).
Qinisa ukuba uyabathanda abantakwenu abaneengxaki ngenxa yeempawu zabo, hayi ngaphandle kwabantakwabo. Kuphephe ukuthelekisa ezi zinto zimbini.
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule kukuba amandla osapho ahlala etshintsha kunye nexesha. Ubomi buhambisa abantu kumacala ahlukeneyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha loo macala ahlukile.
Banokuphinda babuye kunye kamva. Ngamanye amaxesha unokukhokela oko, ngamanye amaxesha awukwazi. Kusenokuthatha ixesha abantakwenu ukuba baqonde kwaye bawulungise umsantsa.
ndingazi njani ukuba ndiyamthanda umntu
Kuthekani ukuba asifumani sizathu okanye isisombululo?
Izinto eziguqukayo kusapho zingene nzulu. Ukubunjwa kwabo kuqala ngokuzalwa kwaye kuyaqhubeka ngokuqhubekayo njengoko ixesha lihamba.
Izinto ezingena mpilo ziye zibe yinto yesiqhelo kuba yile nto kanye le ihlala ifunyanwa lusapho. Ngenxa yokuba 'kuyinto eqhelekileyo,' kunokuba ngumceli mngeni ukulungisa imeko yenyani.
Ukusombulula ingxaki, ukufumana uluvo lomntu wesithathu malunga nemeko evela kumntakwenu okanye isalamane esikufutshane ngokwaneleyo ukuba sikubone kusapho kunokuba luncedo. Banokubonelela ngombono ongenakubonwa ngabantu ababandakanyekayo ngokweemvakalelo kukhuphiswano.
Umlingane wabantakwenu abadala ngumcimbi oxhaphakileyo abajongana nosapho bahlala bejongana nawo. Ukuba uziva ngathi usapho lwakho alwenzi nkqubela phambili ekoyiseni lo mbandela, kuya kuba kokulungileyo ukujonga ingcebiso kubuchwephesha ngoncedo olongezelelekileyo.
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