Ukuhlala uzolile kunzima ngamaxesha amahle, kodwa uthini xa ungomnye obalulekileyo, abahlobo abasenyongweni, okanye ilungu losapho elikuphambanisayo?
Nokuba umntu osebenza naye unokuhlala ecaphukisa okanye acaphukise umntu ngaphandle komlinganiselo!
Sonke besikwimeko apho abanye belahlekelwe ngumonde kuthi ngenxa yezizathu ezithile, siyakwazi ukunxibelelana nendlela okunokuba buhlungu ngayo.
Kuba ubudlelwane esinabo nabanye bubalulekile kumanqanaba angenakubalwa, kubalulekile ukuba sikwazi ukuhlakulela umonde, nakwezona meko zinzima.
Ngelishwa, ukuhlakulela umonde akukho kwikharityhulam yesikolo esemgangathweni. Yindlela ebalulekileyo ekufuneka sonke sibe nayo, kodwa ayifundiswa.
Yinto ekufuneka siyifundile ngokuhamba kwexesha, ukanti kwangoko sifunda ukuba nomonde, ngakumbi kubudlelwane, ngcono.
Ngokwenza njalo, asizukunyamezela amaqabane ethu kunye nabatshati, kodwa nabantwana bethu, abantu esisebenza nabo, abazali abadala, kunye nokunye.
Uya njani ekuphuhliseni umonde kubudlelwane bakho?
1. Chonga eyona nto ikukhathazayo.
Kubi ukuziva ukuba ukukhanya komsindo kunye nokuphulukana nolawulo xa uphelelwe ngumsindo.
Okubi nangakumbi, ukuba nefyuzi emfutshane kunokuthatha ubunzima kubudlelwane. Amagama athethwe ngomsindo awanakubuyiselwa umva, kwaye ukuphulukana nolawulo okwethutyana kwinto engabalulekanga kunokudala umonakalo ongapheliyo.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kubudlelwane bezothando, naxa ujongene nabantwana.
uxelele njani ukuba umyeni wakho akakuthandi
Umsindo wakho ungaziva ulungile ngalo mzuzu, kodwa unamandla okuphulukana nomsindo wakho ngokuba mfutshane kunye nomntu omthandayo.
Inyathelo lokuqala lokuhlala uzolile kukuzijonga ukuze ubone ukuba yintoni ekucaphukisayo ngomnye umntu.
Yintoni ngokuchanekileyo Iyakucaphukisa okanye iyakucaphukisa?
Ngaba lilizwi labo? Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba inqaku elithile okanye ukujika kwebinzana kukubeka-kude?
Ngaba uyacaphuka kuba ufuna ukwenza into ethile ngendlela ethile, kwaye basilele ukufezekisa ulindelo lwakho, bengathethi okanye kungenjalo?
Zama ukufumanisa ukuba ingaba oku kucaphuka sisiphoso sabo ngokupheleleyo. Kungenxa yokuba le meko inokuba yiprojekti yakho eqikelelweyo okanye eyaziwayo ebangela ukucaphuka.
Njengomzekelo, umntu ozicaphukisayo ngenxa yokusoloko ephulukana nezinto angangxamela umntwana wakhe xa elahlekelwe yinto ebalulekileyo.
Ngenye indlela, inokuba yinto edlulileyo ongayifundanga kakuhle, kunjalo ukuqikelela amava angaphambili kunye nenzondo kubudlelwane obutsha.
Ukuba unamava angathandekiyo kunye nowayethandana naye okanye umlingane, kwaye iqabane lakho langoku lenza okanye lithetha into elikukhumbuza ngento eyathethwa okanye yenziwa liqabane lakho langaphambili, unokuba wohlwaya ngokungazi ngokuziphatha kwakho kwangaphambili.
Kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, akukho mntwana okanye iqabane lakho elizama ukukucaphukisa ngabom. Banokwenza nje into yabo, bengazi ukuba le nto bayithethayo okanye bayenzayo iyakukhathaza ngandlela thile.
Ngokulahlekelwa ngumonde kunye nabo, kusenokwenzeka umsantsa kulwalamano oluya kuba nzima ukulungisa. Ukuqonda umthombo wokucaphuka kwakho kubalulekile ekuthinteleni loo nto.
2. Zazi wena kunye nomnye umntu.
Ukungavumeli ukukhuthazwa okungalunganga kuchaphazele imood yakho kulula kakhulu kunokuthi yenziwe, ewe. Ukuba bekulula, ngekhe kubekho iincwadi ezininzi zokuzinceda ezishelfini.
Inamba yebhola enkulu ye-2 yonyaka ka-2019
Akukho 'lungisa ngokukhawuleza' apha, kodwa endaweni yenqanaba lokuziqonda ngokwakho, kokubini malunga neendawo zakho ezinokubangela iimvakalelo, kunye nendlela osabela ngayo kwabanye abantu.
Oku kuzazi kubalulekile, kwaye kufuna ukuthembeka- kwaye mhlawumbi ungakhululekanga - Umsebenzi wokuchaza.
Ngaba kukho izinto ezithile ongazithandiyo, ozibona kwabo bakungqongileyo?
Xa umntu enesazela esinzulu sokuzicekisa kwaye engakukhathalelanga ukuzithanda okanye ukuzizukisa, oku kuhlala kufana nokuhamba phambili ngaphandle kokuziphatha kakuhle kwabahlobo babo.
Okanye ngaba, njengoko kuchaziwe ngaphambili, usabela kubudlelwane obukhoyo ngoku busekwe kwiimpembelelo zempembelelo yeemvakalelo zangaphambili? Ukuba iqabane lakho langoku lithethile okanye lenze into ekukhumbuza ngobuhlobo obudlulileyo, kukho 'ubunzima' obukhawulezileyo bomsindo kuloo mntu.
Xa oku kusenzeka, zama ukubuyisela impendulo yakho kwangoko yamadolo kwaye uthethe nabo ngayo. Fumanisa ukuba kutheni beziphathe ngale ndlela baziphethe ngayo, ukuze ufumane ukuqonda ngokwembono yabo.
Emva koko zama ukucacisa ukuba kutheni isenzo eso sikucaphukisa okanye sikucaphukisa ukuze babone izinto ngokwembono yakho.
Ukuziqonda kunye 'nomnye' yeyona ndlela yokuhlala uzolile kwaye ke unyamezele.
iinyani ezinomdla malunga nawe kudliwanondlebe
Ukuba uyamqonda omnye umntu ukuba bakuphi kwaye baziva njani, kulula kakhulu ukuba nobabalo kwimeko yoxinzelelo. Kwaye oko kuhamba ngeendlela zombini.
Kunokuthethwa okufanayo ngeentsilelo zethu. Sonke sinazo iimpazamo, nokuba umntu othile uzijonga njengeziphene, omnye akanazo.
Kodwa ngokwamkela ukuba wena nomnye umntu nizizidalwa ezinesiphene, unokukhulisa umonde kwezo meko apho iimpazamo zabo okanye iimpazamo zakho zikhulisa iintloko zabo ezimbi.
Ungazibona iimpazamo zabo ngokwahlukileyo kwaye ube novelwano kubo, okuya kukunceda uhlale uzolile xa unokuthi ngoku usebenze.
Ngokukwanjalo, unokubona iimpazamo zakho kwaye uqonde ukuba zinempembelelo njani ekuboneni nasekuphenduleni kwimeko.
3. Funda ukuphendula, kunokuba usabele.
Sisoloko sibona amagama athi 'phendula' kunye no 'phendula' asetyenziswa ngokungafaniyo, kodwa ngamacala amabini ahlukeneyo kwingqekembe enye.
Impendulo iyenzeka ngokukhawuleza kwaye ihlala ingenangqondo, njengokutshayela ingcongconi esisilumayo.
Ukuphendula kufuna ingcinga kunye nothethathethwano lwangaphakathi, ke ngoko kuthatha ixesha elide, kodwa kunesiphumo esiluncedo ngakumbi nesingapheliyo.
Kukho iindlela ezimbalwa ezahlukeneyo onokuzisebenzisa ukukhulisa amandla okuphendula kunokuba usabele kuyo nayiphi na imeko.
Eyokuqala kukuphefumla. Iindlela zokuphefumla, zombini kubushushu bomzuzu kunye nokucamngca, ziphambili ekuhlaleni phantsi komhlaba kunye nokucinga ngokucacileyo.
Nokuba uphikisana nokwenza izigqibo ngokungazi okanye indlela nje yokuziphatha embi, thatha umoya.
Endaweni yokuqhuma, zinike imizuzwana embalwa ngaphambi kokukhetha indlela oza kuphendula ngayo. Thatha umoya omninzi, ubale ukuya kuthi ga kwishumi, kwaye ucinge ngaphambi kokuba uthethe.
Enye indlela yokugcina ukuzinza kwakho kuku zisuse kule meko. 'Into engazukundibulala inokuba undiphosile' sisaci esilumke kakhulu kunokuba sisenza 'somelele'.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uphumelele lonke idabi, okanye uzibonakalise nakubani na, ngaphandle kokuba ukhetha ukwenza njalo. Zisuse nje kwimeko kwaye uhambe uhambe, ngokukhethekileyo kwenye indawo ngaphandle, ugcwele ubuhle bendalo.
Uya kuziva uzolile, kwaye ukuthatha olu hlobo lwesenzo kuseta umzekelo olomeleleyo kolo lwalamano. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube krwada okanye unyamezele isimilo esinetyhefu. Shiya nje. Musa ukunika ochasayo ingqalelo abayifunayo.
Ukuba awukwazi ukubaleka kwisikhuthazo esibi, isenzo esihle kukuba galela amandla akho kubugcisa obuthandayo.
Zigxininise kubuchule beemoto obufuna yonke ingqalelo yakho. Oku kuyakubonelela ngohlobo lwekhaka ngokuchasene nayo nayiphi na ingxolo onyanzelwa ukuba ugcine uxolo nayo.
ukuba wenzeni xa indoda ikuxokisela
Yibone njengethuba elihle lokuphuhlisa intando kunye nokugxila kunye nokuhlala uzolile kwisaqhwithi somnye.
Kwakhona, khumbula loo nto ukudlala kunye nokukhulisa uburharha ibaluleke kakhulu. Jonga kakuhle ukuba kutheni lo mntu eziphethe ngale ndlela aziphethe ngayo, kwaye uzame ukumbona njengomntwana.
Oku kusebenza ngokukodwa ukuba ujongana nomntwana onenkani, okanye umntwana okwishumi elivisayo ozama ukuphuma kuwe.
Xa uzibuyisela umva impendulo yakho yomsindo kwaye ujonge imeko ngoburharha obunobunono, umsindo uhlala uthambekele. Ukuziphatha kwabo akusayi kuphinda kukuchaphazele, kwaye uxinzelelo lwegazi luhlala kwinqanaba elikude ngakumbi.
4. Yenza impendulo yakho kuhlobo lobudlelwane.
Lonke ulwalamano luyinto eyodwa kwaye, ke ngoko, imeko nganye ifuna impendulo eyahlukileyo (okanye ukusilela kwayo) kuxhomekeke kwimeko leyo eyodwa.
Usapho luhlala lunzima ukuhlala uzolile ngalo. Ixesha lokuphila lokubona iimpazamo ezifanayo okanye ii-quirks zinokunxiba kakhulu. Amalungu osapho lwakho nawo awazi onke amaqhosha okutyhala ukuze ubenomsindo. Ngaphezu koko, siziva sikwazi ukubonakalisa ukukhathazeka okupheleleyo namalungu osapho apho sinokufihla okanye senze buthuntu ukuphendula kwethu kwabanye.
Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyiqwalasele kukuba ukuba umntakwenu, umzekelo, uzama ukuphuma kuwe, kutheni beziphatha ngale ndlela?
Ngaba bakhathazekile? Ndidikwe? Ngaba awonwabanga ngobomi babo? Ukuba uziva ngathi le ndlela yokuziphatha ilungile ngoko kungcono ukuba uhlale ungaqondakali.
Sitshintsha isifundo okanye ubanikeze isenzo esincinci sothando, njengokukwenza iti okanye ukuluma ukutya. Ukuba bayaqhubeka, hamba uhambe. Oku kugcina ulingano lwakho kunye nokuseta kwakhona imida.
Obu buchule busebenzela oogxa bethu emsebenzini, njengoko sihlala siphucula ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantakwethu kunye nabo sinxibelelana nabo mihla le. Basenokungabi ngabahlobo ngokwabo, kodwa bangabantu ekufuneka sibabona mihla le, yiyo loo nto kunokuvela isimilo sokuchasana.
Iinzame zothando zinokuba lula kule meko kuba awunakuba nawo amashumi eminyaka edlulileyo, kodwa zikwanzima ngakumbi ngeendlela ezininzi. Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, kulula kakhulu ukungafundi imeko kwaye ubeke indlela ezindala zokuziphatha kubudlelwane obutsha.
Kwimeko nganye nakubudlelwane nganye, yenza impendulo yakho ngokufanelekileyo, nokuba kukuhamba, ukuthetha izinto, ukuziphazamisa, okanye ukuthatha umzuzwana ukuphefumla.
5. Funda ngendlela yokuhlakulela umonde ngakumbi ngokubanzi.
Sonke siziitya zemvakalelo, kwaye oko sikugcinayo ezindlwini zethu kuyasichaza. Yiyo loo nto uxolelo lubaluleke kakhulu, nangona kunjalo kukuzingca-kodwa-kusempilweni.
Xa ubambelele emsindweni kunye nezinto ezidlulileyo, kudala ubunzima obungaphakathi kunye noxinzelelo.
Cinga ngeyoga eqhelekileyo okanye ukuziqhelanisa ne-tai chi, eya kukuvumela ukuba usebenze ngeemvakalelo ezingafunekiyo ngokwasemzimbeni.
Ngapha koko, jolisa ekuphefumlweni kwakho. Siphefumla nzulu xa sixinizelekile, ke zama ukuphefumlela kubalo lwe-10, ubambe inani eli-10, kwaye uphefumlele ngaphandle ukuya kwi-10 (okanye i-5 ukuba imizuzwana eli-10 inde kakhulu). Yenza oku amaxesha angama-30 elandelelana kwaye uya kuzifumana uzolile kwaye uzinzile ngakumbi.
Xa ungakhumbula ukwenza njalo, phefumla ngokuzeleyo nangokunzulu, kwaye zama ukuhlala njengengqina kwindalo eyenzekayo endaweni yokuba umntu abandakanyeke kwimeko.
Umntwana usenokungxola, okanye umthandi wakho usenokuba ubeke eso sidlo sihleli kwindawo engeyiyo kwixesha le-109, kodwa kukhetho lwakho ngokupheleleyo ukuba uphendula njani kuloo nto.
Khumbula ukuba ububele kunye nokuqonda kuya kuhlala kuhlangatyezwana nembuyekezo efanayo. Kwangokunjalo ukuxhaphaza, nokuziphatha gwenxa kudala iwele lako. Ukuba umntu uyatyhalwa ngokwasemzimbeni okanye uyathukwa, impendulo yesiqhelo kukuphendula ngohlobo.
stacy “miss kitty” carter
Ukuba, emva kokungena ngaphakathi, ufika ekuqondeni ukuba into efika phantsi kolusu lwakho ayisiyiyo nantoni na oyenzayo, kwaye omnye umntu akabonakalisi kuzimisela ukutshintsha, kubalulekile ukuba uqwalasele ukuba ingaba obu buhlobo bulungile na kuwe.
Mhlawumbi ubuntu bakho kunye nendlela othanda ngayo ukwenza izinto ngokungqubana nje, kwaye akukho kubuya kuloo nto. Akukho namnye kuni onetyala, kodwa mhlawumbi nibhetele ngokungabikho kubomi bomnye nomnye.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba unganyamezela njani kunye neqabane lakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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