UGqr.Gary Chapman, isazi ngemvelaphi nemvelaphi yabantu, wabhala incwadi enesihloko esithi Iilwimi ezintlanu zothando emva kokusebenza njengomcebisi womtshato iminyaka eliqela.
Ngexesha lakhe lokuba ngumcebisi, waqonda ukuba uninzi lwezinto zobudlelwane zivela kwinto yokuba abantu baveza kwaye baqonde uthando lweemvakalelo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Uzimisele ukuba nangona zininzi iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zentetho enjalo, zonke ziphantsi kweambrela zeelwimi ezintlanu zaseprayimari.
- Amagama aNgqinayo
- Imisebenzi yeNkonzo
- Ukufumana izipho
- Ixesha elibalulekile
- Ukubamba ngokomzimba
Xa abantu bethetha ulwimi lothando olwahlukileyo kunolwabalingane babo, izenzo zabo zinokutolikwa gwenxa, kunye neemfuno zabo zingahoywa.
Qaphela ukuba oku akuphumi naluphi na uhlobo lobubi, kodwa endaweni yokunqongophala kokuqonda kunye nokuqonda.
Makhe sijonge kwezi lwimi zothando ukubona ukuba zidibanisa ntoni, kwaye zithetha ntoni malunga nokuqondana kwinqanaba elisisiseko.
Ngokwenza njalo, sinokufunda ukuqaphela izenzo zabanye abantu, kwaye sikwazi ukuzalisekisa iimfuno zabo kwaye sibonise ezethu ngokucacileyo ngakumbi.
Kodwa kuqala…
Fumanisa iiLwimi zaKho zothando (kunye nezo Zabo!)
Sonke sinika kwaye sifumana uthando ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kodwa sithanda ukubeka ezi ndawo ngokulandelelana kwazo.
Ukuba awuyazi iodolo yeelwimi zakho zothando, singacebisa ukuthatha imibuzo apha ukubona ukuba ufumana amanqaku njani.
(Kwaye ngelixa ulapho, fumana iqabane lakho, abahlobo, usapho, kunye nabanye obathandayo ukuba balithathe nalo!)
Nje ukuba uyithathe, iziphumo zakho ziya kukubonisa izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kulwimi, ngepesenti.
Unokufumana iipesenti eziphezulu kwinto enye okanye ezimbini, okanye unokuba luhlobo lomntu oluneepesenti ezisasazwe ngokulinganayo.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, le mibuzo iza kukunika ukuqonda okuninzi malunga nendlela onika kwaye ulwamkela ngayo uthando.
Kwelinye icala, wakuba wena nabantu obathandayo nonke nithathe imibuzo, ninokwabelana ngeziphumo zenu omnye komnye ukubona ukuba ngubani othetha eziphi iilwimi.
Ngokwenza njalo, uya kuba no 'eureka!' amaxesha okuphumelela.
Uyakwazi ukubona apho ukungaqondani kwenzeke khona, kwaye uqokelele ulwazi olukhulu kukhetho lomntu ngamnye: bobabini malunga nendlela abalubonisa ngayo uthando lwabo, nendlela abalufumana ngayo.
Wena neqabane lakho ninakho, umzekelo, ukuba neziphumo ezifanayo kumagama okuvuma, ixesha elisemgangathweni, kunye nokunikwa kwezipho.
Kodwa omnye wenu unokuba nezenzo zenkonzo ngepesenti ephezulu kakhulu kunokubamba ngokomzimba, ngelixa ezinye iziphumo zoko zimbini zibuyisiwe.
Oku kuyakuvumela ukuba uqonde ukuba omnye wenu uphumelela ngakumbi ekunikezeleni nasekufumaneni uthando, ngelixa elinye libonisa uthando nenkathalo ngokwenza izinto kwiqabane lakho.
Ukuqonda umahluko onjalo kungavula amehlo ngokwenene, kwaye kukunike nobabini ithuba lokwazi iinzame zomnye nomnye, kunye neemfuno zomnye nomnye malunga noku.
Makhe sijonge ngakumbi kwiilwimi nganye zothando.
Amagama aNgqinayo
Ukuba uluhlobo lomntu ofumana i-fuzzies efudumeleyo ngaphakathi xa abo ubathandayo bekuxelela ukuba bayakuthanda kwaye bayakuxabisa, ke amagama okuvuma angalulwimi lwakho oluphambili luthando (okanye ubuncinci kwelinye lala mathathu aphezulu!).
Abantu ababonisa kwaye bafumane uthando lwabo ikakhulu ngamazwi baya kuhlala bebhala amakhadi, iileta kunye namanqaku amancinci kumaqabane abo nakumalungu osapho.
Baya kuthumela izicatshulwa ezingahleliwe nje ukufikelela kunye nokunxibelelana emini, kwaye banokude babhale imibongo ukuze bazivakalise.
Ukuba olona lwimi luphambili lweqabane lakho lihambelana namagama, baya kuphendula kakuhle xa ubaxelela ukuba ubathanda kangakanani kwaye uyabaxabisa.
Unokuqiniseka ukuba xa ubabhalela iileta kunye namakhadi, baya kugcinwa ngonaphakade.
Yazi nje ukuba bazakubeka iintliziyo zabo kunye nomphefumlo wabo kumanqaku amancinci abakubhalela wona, kunye nexesha abalithathayo ukukuxelela indlela abaziva ngayo.
umqondiso wokuba umyeni wakho akasakuthandi
Ukuba awuthathi mzuzwana ukubazisa ukuba bayeviwa, banokuvala kuba baya kuziva ukuba iinzame zabo azixatyiswanga.
Funda ngakumbi ngokuzinikezela kwethu Amagama okuqinisekisa uLwimi loLwimi iphepha.
Imisebenzi yeNkonzo
Uyayazi ukuba uziva wonwabile kancinci xa umntu ekwenzele into entle?
Asithethi ngesipho esothusayo, kodwa kunoko… njengaxa ummelwane esusa ikhephu kwindlela yakho ngaphandle kokucelwa, okanye iqabane lakho likwenzela ikomityi yeti ngendlela othanda ngayo, kuba beziva ngathi ' d ndiyonwabele.
Le yimizekelo nje embalwa yezenzo zenkonzo, kwaye zinokuthetha umhlaba kwabo banolu lwimi lwabo luthando.
Ukuba olu lulwimi lweqabane lakho, banokuphuma benze izinto zakho ongazithandiyo ukuzenzela, kuba kubo, oko kuthetha ukunciphisa umthwalo wakho kancinci.
Bazise ukuba uyayazi into abakwenzela yona, kwaye ubaxabise kangakanani ngayo.
Ngokwahlukileyo, ukungavunyelwa kwezenzo zabo kunokuba buhlungu, kuba baya kuziva ngathi iinzame zabo azibonwa.
Qaphela konke abakwenzela kona, kwaye ukhanyise iintliziyo zabo kancinci ngokubenzela izinto ngokulandelelana.
Funda ngakumbi ngokuzinikezela kwethu Izenzo zeNkonzo zithanda uLwimi iphepha.
Ukufumana izipho
Abanye abantu, ukufumana-kunye nokunikezela-iimpawu ezibonakalayo zothando kunye nomsa kuthetha yonke into.
Bazibona ezi zinto njengemvakalelo ekwimo yomzimba, kwaye baya kuphuhlisa uncamathiselo olumangalisayo kubo.
Ngapha koko, abantu abanotyekelo lokuzifumba banokuba nolona lwimi lwabo luthando. Ukutya kwengqondo!
Ngoku, ukuba umntu omthandayo uthathela ingqalelo ukupha izipho njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo kubudlelwane bakho, oko akuthethi ukuba balindele ukuba ubadlise ngee-trifles zexabiso kunye neeteki.
Inyaniso iyaxelelwa, ngokuchaseneyo kuhlala kunjalo.
Banokonwaba kakhulu ukuba ubaphathele iliwa elinomdla olifumene kunyuko, kuba uyifumene intle kwaye ikukhumbuze ngayo.
Okanye into engenangqondo oyithathileyo kuhambo lweshishini.
Ngokusisiseko, naluphi na ukhetho lomzimba abanokuludibanisa nenkumbulo okanye uvakalelo ngawe.
Baya kufaka ingcinga kunye nomgudu omkhulu kwizipho abakunika zona. Kananjalo, baya kujonga ngolangazelelo olukhulu ukubona indlela oza kuyiphendula ngayo le nto bakunika yona, kwaye bangonzakala ukuba awunamdla kwaye awuyixabisi imigudu yabo.
Funda ngakumbi ngokuzinikezela kwethu Ukufumana izipho uLwimi loLuthando iphepha.
Ixesha elibalulekile
Siva okuninzi malunga 'nexesha elisemgangathweni,' kodwa lithetha ntoni kanye kanye?
Kubantu abaninzi, oko kuthetha ukuba ixesha elingenakuphazanyiswa kunye nomntu abamthandayo, besenza izinto kunye njengesibini.
Oku kunokuba yinto esebenzayo, njengokwenza iprojekthi yoyilo kunye, okanye ukwenziwa, njengokubukela iTV okanye imovie kunye.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, kubandakanya ukwabelana ngexesha kunye nendawo ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka.
Ukuba olona lwimi luthandekayo lweqabane lakho lixesha elisemgangathweni, beka ifowuni yakho xa uchitha ixesha kunye nabo, kwaye ujolise ngokupheleleyo ekubeni / unxibelelane nabo ngalo mzuzu.
Oku malunga nani nobabini: ayikho enye into.
Inokubangela ukuphazamiseka kunye nokwenzakalisa xa uzama ukuchitha ixesha nomntu omkhathaleleyo kwaye engekho ngokupheleleyo kunye nawe.
Kungenxa yoko le nto ukubeka bucala okuhleliweyo, iibhloko ezicwangcisiweyo zexesha lokuchitha kunye kubaluleke kakhulu.
Xa nisenza omnye nomnye ukuba ibe yeyona nto iphambili, niyomeleza ukuba ningabona bantu babalulekileyo kubomi bomnye nomnye.
Yonke into-nayo yonke into-enye inokulinda.
Funda ngakumbi ngokuzinikezela kwethu Ixesha loLwimi uLwimi loLuthando iphepha.
Ukubamba ngokomzimba
Le inokuba iyazichaza, kodwa makhe siyijonge kancinci.
Ngokumalunga nobudlelwane bezothando, ukubamba ngokwasemzimbeni kuqhuba ukubonakala kokucinezela igxalaba lomlingane wakho ngothando xa udlula, ukuya kwisondo.
Ukuwolana, ukwanga, ukutshintshiselana ngamalungu omzimba, kunye nokugqobhoza nje imilenze xa ufunda okanye ubukele imovie kunye zonke ziwela phantsi kwale ambrela.
Kubudlelwane beplatonic / bosapho, olu hlobo lolwimi luthando lweemvakalelo lunokuboniswa ngokuwola, ukukhukhumala, kunye nokuxubha iinwele, njengemizekelo embalwa.
Kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba umntu osondeleyo kuwe unolu lwimi njengenye yeendlela zabo eziphambili zokubonisa / ukufuna, kuba ukuba abafumani kunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni okwaneleyo, banokuziva bengakhathalelwanga.
Ngapha koko, ukubamba uthando lomntu oludingayo ukuze azive ngathi uyathandwa, kungaphaya kokuxhatshazwa.
Oku kunokuba nzima ukuba umntu onentiyo ayiphathe, kuba banokuba neentloni kwimizamo yomnye yokumanga okanye yokumanga, kwaye bacaphuke ukuba baziva benyanzelekile ukubonisa uthando lomzimba.
Funda ngakumbi ngokuzinikezela kwethu Ukuthinta uLwimi uLwimi loLwimi iphepha.
Kwenzeka ntoni xa abantu bethetha iilwimi ezahlukeneyo zothando?
Ngamagama alula, into umntu omnye anokuthi ayithande ukuba inothando ngokumangalisayo kunye nokupha isenokungabi yile nto omnye umntu ayifunayo okanye ayifunayo, kungenjalo.
UGqr Chapman wafumanisa ukuba xa umntu enzakele ngento eyenziwe liqabane lakhe (okanye wasilela ukuyenza), into eyahlukileyo kolulwimi yayilulwimi lwabo lothando.
Kwinto enye iya kwinto edla ngokucelwa iqabane, kunye neyona nto ihlala ichazwa.
Umzekelo, masithi olona lwimi luthandayo lomntu omnye kukuchukumisa / ukuthanda umzimba, kwaye amaqabane abo kukupha izipho.
Iqabane # 1 banokuziva bengahoywanga ukuba abangawolwanga okanye bange ngokwaneleyo, kwaye bangaziva belusizi xa uMlingani # 2 'nje' ebanika izipho endaweni yothando lomzimba.
Okwangoku, uMlingani # 2 -olona lwimi lwabo luphambili kukunika / ukufumana izipho-eqhubeka nokuzama ukubonisa uthando lwabo ngezipho ezincinci ezinengcinga.
Baza kuziva belusizi kwaye benqatshelwe ukuba izipho zabo azixatyiswanga, kwaye banokuziva bekhathazekile kuba bengazifumani izinto ngokulandelelana kwazo.
Banemibono eyahlukileyo kunye nolindelo malunga nendlela abalubonisa kwaye balwamkele ngayo uthando.
Kwaye ukuba abaqondi ngokwenyani ukuba iqabane labo linokuphikisana ngokungafaniyo nolwimi lwezinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka, banokujamelana ne-maelstrom yeemvakalelo ezibuhlungu kunye nokudana, ngenxa yokuba bengaboni okanye bengaqondisisi izimbo zomnye nomnye.
Ekugqibeleni, indlela elula yokuqonda konke oku libinzana elilula:
'Ukuba ufuna ukubonisa uthando komnye umntu, kuya kufuneka ubonise uthando ngolwimi olufanayo nalowo abonisa uthando.'
Ngaba iyavakala loo nto?
Xa sithatha ixesha lokujonga ngokwenyani kwaye siqaphele indlela abantu ebomini bethu abalubonisa ngayo uthando nomsa, sinokuqonda ngcono indlela yokubonisa uthando kubo.
Ithuba lokuqonda ngakumbi kunye noQhagamshelo
Njengazo zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu, unxibelelwano kunye nomonde kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ukongeza kwiimvavanyo zohlobo lobuntu ezinje ngeMyers-Briggs, uvavanyo lweelwimi zothando lunokunceda abantu ukuba bafumane ukuqonda kunye nokwazisa kuzo zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu.
Nokuba uzama ukuba nolwalamano olungcono lomzali / lomntwana, okanye injongo yakho kukomeleza ubudlelwane bakho bothando, ukuqonda iimfuno zomntu ezinxulumene nothando, okulindelweyo, kunye namazwi anokunceda kuphela wonke umntu obandakanyekayo.
Sisenemibuzo malunga neeLwimi ezintlanu zoLuthando? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
