Ucinga ukuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle, uyaqala ukuyithanda le ndoda, emva koko ushiyeke 'kufundwa.'
Ingaba ithetha ntoni? Impendulo kukuba, akukho namnye kuthi owaziyo ngokwenene-nkqu naye ngamanye amaxesha.
Inyani elula kukuba, iimpawu ezixubeneyo ezivela kumfana zinokuthetha inani elipheleleyo lezinto. Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyikhumbule kwaye kunzima ukuyenza, ayikuko ukutsiba kwizigqibo ngaphambi kokuba ufumane inyani.
Ukucinga ukuba uyazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni entlokweni yabo ngenxa yokuba bengaphendulanga kumyalezo wakho wokugqibela kangangeeyure ezimbalwa yeyona ndlela ilula yokuphelisa ubudlelwane ngaphambi kokuba iqale kakuhle.
Apha ngezantsi kukho eminye imiqondiso exubileyo exhaphakileyo oza kujongana nayo kwindawo yokuthandana kunye nendlela efanelekileyo yokuphatha.
Nye. Usebenza ngokushushu kwaye uyabanda.
Umzuzu omnye uphelele kuwe kwaye ngokulandelayo awunakumnqinda phantsi.
Kuyakhathaza xa ungazi ukuba umi phi kwaye kuyindalo ukuba ufuna ukujongana naye okanye umke. Kodwa musa ukutsalwa ungene ukudlala imidlalo yengqondo ngokungaphenduli kwimibhalo yakhe okanye kwiminxeba kunye nokuphelisa izinto ngaphambi kokuba uzinike ithuba.
Ukuba uqalile ukuthandana nomfana, khumbula ukunika izinto ixesha lokuphuhlisa. Kwinyani, ningabasemzini izihlobo ezibini nje ukwazana kwaye oku ngekhe kwenzeke ngobusuku obunye.
Wonke umntu uhamba ngezinto ngokwahlukileyo kwaye mhlawumbi usebenza nje ukuba uziva njani ngawe ngokuthatha izinto kancinci.
Kule mihla yokuqala, kulungile ukumnika isibonelelo sokuthandabuza njengoko nobabini nisebenza ngendlela eniziva ngayo. Kodwa ukuba uyakubophelela kwaye ufumanisa ukuba umnxeba ungaphezulu kunobuhle, lixesha lokusika ilahleko zakho kwaye uqhubeke.
2. Akathandani esidlangalaleni.
Abanye abantu bayakuphepha ukubonisa uthando esidlangalaleni, kodwa bahluke kwaphela ngasemva kweminyango evaliweyo.
Kangangokuba awufuni kuyithatha buqu, kunzima ukuba kungabi xa ungumntu omthandayo.
Umba mhlawumbi ayinguwe. Amanye amadoda akayithandi nje imbonakalo yothando esidlangalaleni. Oko akuthethi ukuba iimvakalelo zabo ngawe azinyanisekanga, kukuba nje banokuba neentloni okanye ingcinga yokuba bathandwe ekuhleni ayisiyonto bayiqhelileyo.
U-richard williams (umqeqeshi wentenetya)
Ukuba uziva ufuna okungakumbi kubo, baxelele. Amadoda awangqondo yokufunda kwaye ukuba awuyifumani into oyifunayo kuye, kufuneka umncede ngokunxibelelana naye.
Thatha ixesha lokuqonda isimilo sakhe kwaye usebenze ukuba ngaba ezi ziyimpawu ezixubeneyo okanye ukuba wenza izinto ngokwahlukileyo kwindlela ozenza ngayo.
3. Akafuni ukubeka ileyibhile kuyo.
Xa ubuthandana nomfana okwethutyana kwaye izinto zibonakala zihamba kakuhle, incoko engenakuphepheka 'siyintoni' iqala ukuyixabisa ingqondo yakho.
Uzama ukuthatha isigqibo sokuba uza kuyizisa nini, kodwa kwangaxeshanye, uzibuza ukuba kutheni bengekabikho. Kulapho uqala ukucinga nzulu, uzikholise ukuba kukho into engalunganga.
Kubi kakhulu ukuba, xa usiza nengxoxo ethi 'siyintoni', ufumana impendulo engaphantsi kwehlombe.
Ukuba ukuxelela ukuba akafuni kufaka ilebhile kuyo okanye ufuna 'ukubona apho izinto zihamba khona,' uqala ukucinga ukuba ufundile imiqondiso yonke into engalunganga.
Kodwa musa ukuphelelwa lithemba. Ewe, kunokubonakala ngathi ukukunika imiqondiso exubileyo, kodwa unokufuna nje ixesha elide kunawe ukuba uqhelane nombono wobudlelwane.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba wenzakele kwixa elidlulileyo kwaye ulumkele ukwenzakala kwakhona. Nokuba yintoni, unokuba nezizathu ezivakalayo zokufuna ukuthatha izinto ngesantya esisezantsi.
Zama ukuthatha incoko ngamanyathelo. Cebisa ububodwa kuqala kwaye ubone ukuba uphendula athini. Ukuba ufuna ileyibhile yesoka kunye nentombi yakho ukuba uzive ukhuselekile, thetha naye malunga nayo kwaye ubone ukuba ungayifumana njani indlela yokukhululeka malunga nomxholo.
Kodwa lumka unganikezeli kukhetho lwakhe ngenxa yezakho. Ufanele intlonipho yokwamkelwa elubala njengeqabane lakhe. Ukuba akakwazi ukufumana indlela yokukunika yona kungekudala, emva koko akakufanelanga.
4. Akayi kuvula.
Kuyadida ukuba ngaba ubuza into enye kuwe kwaye angabuyisi efanayo. Silindele ukuba uvuleke kwaye ubonakale kunye naye kodwa ukugcina isithintelo seemvakalelo kuye kungumqondiso odibeneyo odibeneyo ekufuneka siwenzile.
Inyani yokuba ufuna ukwazi ngakumbi malunga nawe ibonisa umdla kunye nokuzimisela ukuphonononga olu luvo lokuba sesichengeni kunye nomnye. Usenokungaqiniseki ukuba angayenza njani le nto ngokwakhe.
Ukuba ukubuza okuninzi ngokweemvakalelo, ungaziva unyanzelekile ukuba wabelane nantoni na ongonwabanga ngayo, ngakumbi ukuba akakuniki inkululeko efanayo.
Akubuhlungu ukuzisa kuye ngendlela eyakhayo egcina eyakhe imiqobo. Rhoqo, inkuthazo encinci ngabantu bonke abayifunayo. Njengoko ukuthembana phakathi kwakho kukhula, kusenokwenzeka ukuba amandla akhe okuvula nawo aya kuba njalo.
5. Ushiyeke 'ufundwe.'
Olunye udidi oludala, ubhalela yena aze akothuse, ushiyeke ulinde impendulo okanye okubi, ushiyeke 'kufundwa.'
Sonke sixelelwe izinto ezifanayo xa kufikwa kumba wokuthandana- ungabi ngowokuqala ukuthumela umyalezo, ungaphenduli ngokukhawuleza okanye ubonakale ngathi unomdla, linda ubuncinci iintsuku ezi-3 emva komhla wokuqala wokuthumela umyalezo… ingcebiso iyaqhubeka.
Ngaba ikhona esebenzayo? Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo.
dx vs abazalwana bentshabalalo
Ingabonakala ngathi iyabhidisa, xa uphakathi-kwincoko-yencoko kwaye bayeka ngokukhawuleza imiyalezo. Okanye, xa unento ocinga ukuba ngumhla omkhulu kwaye kufuneka ulinde iintsuku zokuva kubo kwakhona.
Kodwa musa ukufunda kakhulu kuyo. Ukuba awuzange uve kubo kwangoko, banokuba nje, uyazi, baxakekile?
Kulungile ukuqhubeka nobomi bakho kunye nokubuyela emva xa unexesha. Musa ukuhlala ubukele ifowuni yakho ulinde impendulo ukuba iqhubeke njengesiqhelo kwaye bayivumele ilingane kucwangciso lwakho.
Uya kuwazi umahluko phakathi komntu ongathumeli myalezo kwangoko kunye nomntu ongenamdla.
Kunzima ukwazi ukuba kuthetha ntoni na umntu xa uthetha ngescreen i-emoji inokunxibelelana kuphela ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuchitha ixesha kunye nomnye umntu kulapho kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ukuba unexesha elimnandi xa nikunye kwaye benza umzamo wokucwangcisa imihla nawe, ngubani okhathalayo ukuba abalunganga ekuphenduleni imiyalezo kwangoko.
6. Awuboni njengokuba ungathanda.
Xa uthanda umntu kwaye nihlala kakuhle, kunokuba nzima ukuqonda ukuba kutheni unganako ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye.
Okukhona usiwa ngumntu, kokukhona ufuna ukumbona. Kodwa ukuba usoloko exakeke kakhulu, usenokuqalisa ukucinga ukuba ufundile imiqondiso ayilunganga.
Yinike ixesha ngaphambi kokuba uyibize iyeke okanye ujongane nayo kuyo. Abantu banesantya sabo kwaye unokufuna nje ixesha elininzi kunawe ukuba uqhelane nobudlelwane.
Isenokuba yinto elungileyo. Kuya kufuneka ugcine ulungelelwano, ngakumbi xa uthandana nomntu omtsha, phakathi kokuchitha ixesha kunye naye kunye nokwenza ixesha labahlobo bakho kunye nezinto ozithandayo.
Ukuba izinto ziba nzulu phakathi kwenu, nobabini niyakufumana indlela yokusebenza ubudlelwane benu kubomi benu obukhoyo. Ukutyhala izinto ngokukhawuleza okukhulu, kwaye usengozini yokumoyikisa.
7. Konke kukuthatha kunye neebhulukhwe.
Ngaba akusekho kuchitha iiyure ukhazimla ngaphambi kokuba uphume uye kwiivenkile zokutyela ezintle? Unexhala lokuba akekho njengakuwe kuba uyekile ukuzisa iintyatyambo? Wamkelekile kwinqanaba elilandelayo lokuthandana.
Sithanda ukuchukumisa xa siqala ukuthandana nomntu omtsha. Nenza iinzame zokunxiba, ukuya kwiindawo zolonwabo, nokuphathana. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba ucebisa iNetflix kunye nokuthabatha endaweni yokutyela yeenkwenkwezi yaseMichelin kunye neqonga, oko akuthethi ukuba akasekho kuwe.
Ukuzonwabisa nje ngokuba wena xa ukunye nomntu kubalulekile kubudlelwane bokusebenza. Awunakuhlala unobuso obugcweleyo bokuhombisa kunye nengubo entsha xa ekubona.
Ayisiyo miqondiso ixubeneyo ebonisa ukuba nobabini nifumana indawo apho oku kunokujika kube bubuhlobo bokwenyani, apho wonwabileyo kukuziqinisekisa ngokwenyani.
Ukuba unexhala lokuphulukana nentlantsi kwangoko, sukumlinda acebise isisombululo. Thatha ngokwakho ukuhlela imihla, ukhazimle kube kanye, kwaye umbonise ukuba awukulungelanga ukuba yonke into ibe yiNetflix kwaye ibande.
8. Ukuqhuba kwakho ngesondo akuthathi cala.
Uhambile ekubeni nzima ukugcina izandla zakhe zikukuqengqele ngentsimbi ye-10 ngokuxelela ukuba udiniwe. Ude wacheba imilenze yakho kulomnyhadala kwaye akafuni ukukuva.
Ukuhamba ukusuka kwelinye icala ukuya kwelinye kunokuba yinto ephazamisayo kwaye kuyindalo ukubuza ukuba kukho into engalunganga kwaye ukuba akakho kuwe.
Inyani yile, kubudlelwane obuninzi, iintsuku zokuqala ziseseyona nto inomdla. Nokuba ilungile kanjani isondo, ngekhe uphinde ube nakho ukuphinda uyonwabele into yokuba usondelelane kunye okokuqala ngqa.
Ayisosizathu sodwa sokuba izinto zinokucothisa kancinci kwigumbi lokulala. Ngokuqinisekileyo unokuxinezeleka okanye ukhathazeke ngento ethile kwaye angabikho kwintloko yentloko yayo.
Zama ukufumanisa ukuba akukho nto iqhubekayo kuye onokukunceda kwaye uyixhase ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukucinga okona kubi.
9. Uyakucima.
Ixesha lokuqala loku kwenzeka kunokubonakala ngathi kukuphela kwehlabathi. Ubucinga ukuba unento entle kwaye ngoku umile.
Ngokwenyani, oko kunokuba yinto kanye le athi iyenza. Ngokwenene unokubambeka emsebenzini, ngempazamo abhukishe kabini, okanye azive ephantsi kwemozulu.
Nika umntu ithuba kwaye ungazami ukucaphuka endaweni yokulinda ngobubele ukuba alungelelanise.
ukwenza izinto ongafuni kuzenza
Nangona kunjalo, kukho ingxaki ukuba urhuqa izithende zakhe ekubekeni omnye umhla okanye urhoxisile amaxesha amaninzi. Kanye okanye kabini unokuxolela, ngakumbi ngokucela uxolo kuye kunye neenzame zakhe zokuhlengahlengisa. Ukuba iba yinto eyenzeka rhoqo kwaye akabeki mzamo wokukubona, yiba nembeko kuwe kwaye uyibize iyeke.
Uhlangabezana njani neempawu ezixubeneyo.
Ngethemba, ngoku, kuya kufuneka ube nokuqonda okungcono kwezinye zeempawu ezixubeneyo umntu anokukuthumelela zona. Kodwa ufanele wenze ntoni ngayo?
1. Musa ukutsiba kwizigqibo.
Okokuqala nokuphambili, musa ukutsiba kwisiphelo ngenxa yokuba umfana engakubhalelanga emva kweyure.
Isiqingatha sengxaki siqala xa sisenza iimeko entloko. Ukuba usabela ngokuthumela imiqondiso yakho exubileyo, wenza ingxaki ibe mbi nangakumbi.
Ukuba kokokuqala enze into engaqhelekanga, yinike nje ixesha. Inokuba yinto emsulwa njengaye odiniweyo okanye oxakekileyo ngumsebenzi.
Ungahlali ubukele ifowuni yakho, zigcine uxakekile kwaye uzenze uphazamiseke. Ukuba usasebenza ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye uyakuhlisa, vele uvuleke kwaye uthembeke kwaye umbuze ukuba ikhona into etshintshileyo. Uyakwazi ukuba kufanelekile ukubambelela okanye ukuba lixesha lokuba uqhubeke.
2. Nxibelelana.
Ukuba kudala uthandana kwaye awukaqiniseki ukuba umi phi, vele ubuze.
Ukuba ufuna ngaphezulu kule ndoda uthandana nayo, kufuneka uyixelele. Amadoda asingabo abafundi bengqondo, kwaye usenokungayiqondi into yokuba uziva ungakhathalelwanga okanye ungafunwa xa elibala ukubiza okanye engazami kangako ngemihla.
Cinga ngotshintsho oluncinci, olwakhayo olunokukwenza uzive ukhuseleke ngakumbi kubudlelwane bakho kwaye ubone ukuba uvumelekile na ukuzamkela.
Ngokunxibelelana ngendlela eyakhayo endaweni yokuphendula gwenxa, unokunceda ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo obuqhubela phambili. Ukuba akavulelanga ukwenza utshintsho, lixesha lokuba uphinde uphonononge ukuba ngaba into eniyidibanisileyo yile nto niyifunayo.
3. Zibekele imida.
Ukuwubona umahluko phakathi kokutsiba ukuya kwizigqibo ngokukhawuleza okukhulu kunye nokutsalwa ngumfana, zibekele imida yobuqu yento ozimisele ukuyinyamezela ngaphambi kokuba uzive kufuneka uthethe naye.
Isenokuba yinto encinci ukukunceda ngeentsuku zokuqala, njengokuthatha isigqibo sokuba awuzukuvumela ukuba ucaphuke xa engabhalelanga umyalezo kwiiyure ezimbalwa, kodwa ukuba ibilusuku, uya kuthi uthumele umyalezo Yintoni ephezulu.
Mhlawumbi ungaqali ukucwangcisa ukwahlukana kwakho emva kwexesha lokuqala kufuneka arhoxise kwaye ahlengahlengise umhla, kodwa ukuba kufuneka ayenze okwesibini okanye okwesithathu, thetha naye malunga nayo.
Imida encinci yobuqu iya kukunceda ugcine imeko elungeleleneyo yemeko. Ziyakusebenza njengesikhumbuzo sokuba kuya kufuneka unyamezele okuninzi kwaye ubeke ulonwabo lwakho kunye nempilo yengqondo kuqala.
4. Yazi ukubaluleka kwakho.
Ukuba ujongana nendoda ebonakala ngathi igcwele imiqondiso exubeneyo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekubambeni kukuzithemba kwakho.
Njengokuba sinokuthi gqi kwisigqibo xa singeva kubo okanye benza ngendlela eyahlukileyo, siyakhawuleza ukuzithethelela.
Ukuzihlonela kunye nokuziva uxabisekile kufanele ukuba kube yeyona nto iphambili kuwe. Ungamnika umfana ithuba lokukungqina ukuba uphosisile kube kanye okanye kabini, kodwa ukuba uziva uhleli udidekile okanye ukhathazekile kwaye oko kukuhlisa, akafanelekanga ukuba abe yingxaki.
Kuyinyani ukuba umntu uyakuthanda, uya kwenza umzamo. Ukuba ngumzabalazo ukugcina ingqalelo yakhe, kungenzeka ukuba ayinguye kuwe .
Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe ngaphezulu koku, ke ukuba akakonwabisi, lixesha lokuba womelele kwaye uhambe.
Xa uthandana, kuthatha ixesha ukwazana ngokupheleleyo. Nobabini nifanelwe lithuba lokusebenza ukuba ngaba likho ikamva apho phambi kokuba nibambeke kwinto enzulu ngakumbi.
Yintoni eza njengemiqondiso exubekileyo inokuba yinkqubo yokusebenza nje ukuba ilingane njani ubudlelwane ebomini bakho kwaye ufumanise ukuba yile nto niyifunayo nobabini.
Ukuba uziva ngathi uyakuthumela imiqondiso exubekileyo, sukufaka uxinzelelo ngokuzibaxa. Endaweni yoko, jonga oku njengefowuni yokuvuselela ukuthatha ulawulo lweengcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho kwaye uyeke ukuvumela ulonwabo lwakho luxhomekeke ekubeni uthumela imiyalezo kangaphi okanye ukuba uza kuchitha ixesha elingakanani naye.
Ubomi bufutshane kakhulu ukuba ungalinda ukuba umntu enze ingqondo yakhe. Kodwa musa ukunikezela ngokukhawuleza okukhulu, ninikezane ixesha lokuzinza ekuthandaneni kwaye ubone ukuba imiqondiso exubeneyo iyayeka na njengoko iimvakalelo zakho zikhula.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenze ntoni malunga neempawu ezixubeneyo ozifumanayo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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