Iintsuku zokuqala zokuthandana nomntu zinomdla - uziva kancinci kuyo yonke indawo, kodwa ngendlela elungileyo!
Indoda oyithandayo ikhangeleka ngathi iyakuthanda…
… Ade angayi.
Kuyadida ngokwenene xa indoda ishushu kwaye ibanda kuwe, kwaye unokushiyeka uzibuza a) ukuba le nto ivelaphi, kwaye b) ungakwenza ntoni ukubuyisela izinto emgceni.
Ngethamsanqa kuwe, senze umsebenzi onzima kwaye sidibanisa isikhokelo kwiimvakalelo zakho-zer rollercoaster yokutyumza.
1. Ngokuqinisekileyo akaqinisekanga ukuba uziva njani.
Kuzo zonke izizathu ezimbi anokukuphazamisa ngazo, siza kuqala ngesona sicacileyo - usenokungazi ncam ukuba umi phi okanye uziva njani ngawe.
Ayisiyonto yobuqu inokuba ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi!
Mhlawumbi usemtsha kubudlelwane, okanye akathandananga kangako konke konke, kwaye uyahamba phakathi kokuba nomdla kwaye ube novalo.
Sonke sinelungelo lokwenza iingqondo zethu, kwaye unokuthatha nje ixesha kunye nalo!
Ukuba ungaphakathi kuni ngamanye amaxesha, kuyacaca ukuba ikhona into apho phakathi kwenu nobabini. Usenokutsala rhoqo rhoqo kuba akaqinisekanga nge-100% ukuba uziva njani okwangoku, kwaye akafuni ukukukhokela ngokuba nomdla kakhulu.
2. Uzama ukuyidlala ipholile.
Asingabo abalandeli abakhulu be ukudlala imidlalo yengqondo , kodwa usenokuba.
Ukuba uthatha ixesha lakhe ukuphendula kuwe ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa emva koko abonakale onwabile ngokwenene ukukubona, usenokuba uzama nje ukuyidlala ipholile.
Endaweni yokuza ngathi 'unomdla kakhulu,' ujinga umva kancinci. Oku kunokuba kungenxa yokuba akaqinisekanga ngokwenyani wena uziva, okanye kuba uqhele ukudlala imidlalo ethile.
Usenokucinga ukuba le yeyona ndlela ingcono yokwenza njengoko kusetyenzwe ngaye ngaphambili.
Nantoni na ayenzayo, ukuba 'ushushu' ngamanye amaxesha, le ndoda inomdla kuwe kwisikhundla esithile!
3. Ukugcina unomdla ngokuba ukhohlakele!
Omnye umhla, omnye umdlalo. Kuyakhathaza, kodwa kufanelekile ukuqaphela ukuba le yinto ayenzayo ngenjongo.
Okukhona lo mfo esenza 'ingqele,' kokukhona ufuna ukuba 'ashushu' nawe kwakhona. Oko kuthetha ukuba ulindele ukuba akufune, kwaye enze intshukumo kuwe.
Kananjalo, umnika amandla amaninzi kwaye ibhola ngokuqinisekileyo isenkundleni yakhe. Oku kukwathetha ukuba uya unomdla ngakumbi kuye, ngokulula kuye kubonakala ngathi akanamdla kuwe. Ingqondo eguqulweyo isebenza njengekhubalo, akunjalo?
4. Wenza okufanayo nomnye umntu.
Ayisiyonto ufuna ukuyiva, siyazi, kodwa kuya kufuneka uyithathe njengenyaniso.
Ukuba uphezu kwakho umzuzu omnye kwaye emva koko ukude kakhulu ngokulandelayo, kukho ithuba lokuba akubambe kunye nomnye umntu.
Usenokuba ufumanisa kunzima ukuqhubeka nokubonana nobabini, yiyo loo nto engahambelani nani. Uyaphazamiseka kuba ingqalelo yakhe ikwajolise komnye umntu.
Oku kungachaza ukuba kutheni exubeke kakhulu kwindlela yakhe nawe-ungabona ukuba uyadideka maxa wambi xa ekunye nawe, okanye wenza ngokungafaniyo nefowuni yakhe xa ukunye nawe.
Ukuba uziva ukrokrela kwaye kukho into engabonakali ilungile, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyayenza nenye intombazana.
5. Akukho nto yokwenza nawe - kukho enye into eyenzekayo.
Nangona indoda ikuthanda kangakanani, isengumntu. Ukuba ebegcwele kuyo yonke indawo kutshanje, zama ukumnqanda kancinci. Unokuba uxakeke ngokwenene okanye unokuninzi okwenzekayo ebomini bakhe.
Kunzima ukukhumbula ukuba xa ulinde isicatshulwa umva okanye isenzo sothando, kodwa unokuba nezinye izinto engqondweni yakhe.
Kwaye ngelixa ekuthanda, usenokungabi yeyona nto iphambili kuye okwangoku. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo, kwaye nokuba iyadanisa, kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba awukabikho kweli nqanaba.
Uvumelekile ukuba athathe ixesha lakhe ukuphendula kuwe ngamanye amaxesha kwaye achithe amandla akhe kwezinye izinto ebomini bakhe.
6. Uzama ukuthatha izinto kancinci.
Kubonakala ngathi uyakuthanda ukuchitha ixesha kunye nawe, kwaye izinto zihamba kakuhle kakhulu-ke kutheni emkile aze athi cwaka kuwe iintsuku ezimbalwa?
Kukho ithuba lokuzama nje ukunciphisa izinto kunye nawe. Usenokukuthanda ngokwenyani, kodwa ungakulungeli ukuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo, nokuba yintoni phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Ukuba uqalile ukuthandana kwaye uvuthela ubushushu kunye nokubanda kunye nawe, usenokuba uzama nje ukuhambisa izinto.
Usenokuba nexhala lokuba xa ukhawulezisa izinto okanye nibonana ‘kakhulu’ kwiintsuku zokuqala, izinto ziya kutsha ngokukhawuleza kwaye ziya kuphela ngaphambi kokuba ziqale nyani.
Kuwe, oko kunokubonakala kusisiyatha - ukuba uyamthanda umntu, ufuna ukumbona, akunjalo? Kuye, usenokuziva engakulungelanga ukuzibophelela okwangoku!
Mhlawumbi waqala ukuthandana engalindelanga ukuthanda umntu kwangoko, kwaye ngoku ucinga ngokuhlala nawe kodwa ufuna ukuthatha ixesha lakhe.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba wayenolwalamano olunzulu kwixa elidlulileyo kwaye engakulungelanga ukutsiba ngqo kuyo nantoni na okwangoku, kungoko ke ukuziqhekeza ngamanye amaxesha ukuthoba isantya kwaye aqiniseke ukuba ukhululekile ngokwenzekayo phakathi kwakho nobabini.
7. Utshintshe ingqondo kwaye akanamdla.
I-Eurgh, le yinkunkuma! Siyakucaphukela ukuyithetha, kodwa kuya kufuneka ucinge ngazo zonke iindlela onokukhetha kuzo apha.
Ukuba ukuphosa ngeempawu ezixubekileyo kwaye uvuthela kushushu kwaye kubanda, indoda oyithandayo isenokuba itshintshe ingqondo yakho ngawe kwaye ayiqinisekanga ukuba iza kuphela njani.
Akumnandi, siyazi, kodwa le yindlela abanye babafana abajongana nayo. Usenokutshintsha ingqondo ngenxa yaso nasiphi na isizathu, ngoko ke zama ukungazibethi ngaphezu kwale okanye uzive ungathandeki okanye uyadika!
Inokuba uvele waqonda ukuba akanamdla njengoko ebecinga, okanye usenokufumanisa ukuba awuhambelani kakhulu.
Oku kunokucacisa indlela aziphethe ngayo - uziva engalunganga ngokubanda, kulungile ke kuwe. Emva koko uyoyika ukuba akukhokele, ke umgama kwakhona. Oku kubangela ubudlelwane obushushu kunye nobandayo oye waqhubeka ngalo mzuzu.
Ujongana njani nomfana oshushu nobandayo?
Ke, ufikelele kwisigqibo sokuba kutheni engaqhelekanga kuwe-kodwa yintoni elandelayo?
Kunokuba nzima ukwazi ukuba ujongana njani nendoda ekunika imiqondiso exubekileyo, ke siza nezikhetho ezimbalwa onokuzihlola.
1. Zama ukuhlala uzolile kwaye uzinzile.
Akukho mntu uthanda ukudlala imidlalo-nale ndoda mhlawumbi ayiyonwabisi kakhulu!
Ukuba uqala ukumtyhala kwaye wenze ngokungakhathali kuye, uya kudideka kwaye athathe isigqibo sokuba ayifanele iinzame. Okukhona uziphatha ungakhulanga umva xa umthanda, kokukhona liya kuba likhulu ithuba lokuba emke.
Endaweni yoko, hlala uzolile! Akukho nto yenzekileyo ukuvuthela izinto phezulu, ke zama ukubona oku ngokwembono ebandayo.
Usenokuzixakekisa ngezinye izinto, okanye angaqiniseki ukuba uziva njani ngawe. Ezi ayizizo izinto eziguqula ubomi, kwaye, ukuba izinto zenzelwe ukuba zisebenze phakathi kwenu nobabini, ziya kuba njalo.
Ngokuhlala ukhululekile ngelixa uhlala unomdla kuye, uya kuqonda ukuba awuphoswa lula- kwaye awunguye umntu oza kubeka uxinzelelo kuye!
Izinto ezibandayo ngaphandle uzive nawe, kokukhona uya kubuya abuye azinze ngakumbi nawe.
Ukuba ubuxinezelekile ngomsebenzi kwaye umntu obumbona waba nobutshaba kwaye wakhatywa, ngekhe uphinde ufune ukuhlala nabo, akunjalo?
Kungenxa yokuba akukho mntu ufuna uxinzelelo olongezelelekileyo ebomini babo. Ukuba ungamazisa ngokuzolileyo ukuba unomdla kodwa ukuba akukho kungxama okanye uxinzelelo, uya kuza kuwe.
2. Khumbula ukuba izinto zinokuqheleka nje.
Ukuba uqhele umfana othanda ukuba ube phezu kwakho, kwaye uqalile ukuba nomdlandla kancinci, zama ukungoyiki. Oku kunokuba kungenxa yokuba nobabini nihlala ngoku ngakumbi ngoku.
Uninzi lwethu luphuma lonke xa siqala ukuthandana nomntu, njengoko sifuna ukuba babone ezona nguqulelo zethu. Isenokuba yile nto uyibonileyo kwinqanaba 'elishushu'.
Isigaba sakhe 'esibandayo' sinokuziva sibanda ngokuthelekiswa nobushushu, kodwa khumbula ukuba konke kuhambelana kwaye oku kunokuba sisigaba sakhe 'esiqhelekileyo'.
Lonke ulwalamano lufikelela kwinqanaba apho luziva luqhelekile kunokuba luyonwabisa, ke yigcine engqondweni.
Endaweni yokulindela ukuthandana kunye nokwabelana ngesondo okungalawulekiyo kunye nemibhalo rhoqo ngalo lonke ixesha, khumbula ukuba izinto ziya kuzinza ngokwabo ngakumbi xa uchitha ixesha kunye.
Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokukhululeka ngakumbi kunye nomnye - thatha njengoncoma ukuba ukhululekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba angakujikelezi ukuba unguye uqobo ingqina ukuba zinkulu kangakanani izinto phakathi kwakho.
3. Zigcine uphazamisekile.
Omnye wemicimbi ngokuziphatha okushushu nokubandayo kukuba 'okugqithileyo' kakhulu, kulula kakhulu ukulungisa kuko.
Ukuba indoda yakho igcwele yonke indawo kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba ume phi, ungaqala ngokukhawuleza ngaphezulu ukuhlalutya indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Okukhona ugxila kuyo, kokukhona ubona 'iingxaki' apho kunokwenzeka ukuba azikho.
Ngenxa yokuba uzimisele kakhulu kule nto ayenzayo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubize isimilo sakhe njengesibi okanye esibandayo.
Umzekelo, xa izinto zihamba kakuhle kubudlelwane kwaye isoka lakho lithatha ixesha ukukuphendula, awuyibuzi ncam - kukho isiseko esomeleleyo, kutheni ke kufuneka umthandabuze?
Xa uziva uxhalabile ngendoda, uchola kuyo yonke into encinci evakalelwa kukuba 'icimile' - ngequbuliso, ukulibaziseka kwemizuzu elishumi kwimpendulo uziva ngathi uza kukulahla!
Oku kubonisa ukuba konke malunga nengqondo esivela kuyo. Ukuba siqinisekile kubudlelwane bakho kwaye sigxila kwingqondo yethu kwezinye izinto, sivela kwisimo sengqondo esihle kwaye akunakufane kwenzeke ukuba sityhafe ngokulula.
Ukuba sijolise kulwalamano lwethu kwaye sizifumene sonke sisebenza nzima, siza kukoyika kwaye yonke into iba yiflegi ebomvu.
Hlala uxakekile ngokulandela izinto ozithandayo, ukuxhoma kunye nabahlobo, okanye ukonwabele ixesha lakho wedwa. Okukhona unokuphazamiseka unokuzigcina, izinto ezincinci ziya kuba nefuthe elincinci kuwe.
Ungaqala ukuqonda ukuba isenzo 'esishushu nesibandayo' esivela kumntu wakho ngokwenene utolika izinto ngokusekwe kwiimvakalelo zakho 'ezilungileyo nezimbi'.
4. Qhubeka unxibelelana!
Ukuba ngokwenene ulahlekile kwaye awazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni, akukho nto inokukuyekisa ukuba uthethe nomntu wakho.
Ngelixa sithanda ukuhlala sizikhupha kwiingxoxo ezinkulu malunga neemvakalelo kwangoko, kunokuba kufanelekile ukuzisa izinto ukuba ziqala ukukukhathaza. Akukho mntu ufuna ukuziva ngathi bayamoshakala!
Ungajonga naye ukuba yonke into ilungile - ngaphandle kokusebenzisa ulwimi ‘olumsola’.
Yithi into enje, 'Izinto zivakala zahlukile phakathi kwethu, uyafuna ukuthetha ngayo?' okanye, 'Ndivakalelwa ngathi asisabonani kangako, kutheni singacwangcisi ubusuku obuhle kunye?'
Ukuza ngendlela elungileyo ngolu hlobo kumbonisa ukuba awuzami ukuqala umlo okanye ukugxeka indlela aziphethe ngayo. Endaweni yoko, uzama ukwenza izinto zibengcono kuni nobabini.
Oku kumnika ithuba lokunyaniseka ukuba kukho enye into eyenzekayo- usenokungafuni ukuzizisa ngokwakhe, ke oku kunokuba yinto elungileyo yokumnceda avule.
Ikwabonisa ukuba uyazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni, kwaye kuya kumnceda ukuba aqonde ukuba izenzo zakhe (okanye ukungazenzi!) Ziyakuchaphazela. Uya kuyiqonda indlela oziva ngayo, kwaye ungahambela phambili kwisisombululo kunye.
5. Lazi ixesha lokuhamba.
Ewe, le ndoda inokuba ngokunyanisekileyo idlala ishushu kwaye iyabanda nawe ngenxa yokuba ikumosha nje.
Ngabom okanye hayi, kuyacaphukisa kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuyaphazamisa ukubeka amandla akho kwindoda engazi kakuhle into ayifunayo.
Ukuba oku kuqala ukuba nefuthe elibi kwimpilo-ntle yakho, okanye uqala ukuziva inkunkuma ngawe kuba awazi nje ukuba umi phi, kulungile ukuzibeka phambili kwaye uhambe.
utyikitye umntu endisebenza naye uyandithanda
Ukuba ucinga ukuba oku kuziphatha kuyipatheni kwaye kuyaqhubeka ukwenzeka, akunakulindeleka ukuba atshintshe. Ukuba ukhankanyile kwaye akukho nto itshintshileyo, akukho nto ininzi kakhulu onokuyenza.
Ungayamkela into yokuba uyakuthathwa kwi-rollercoaster eneemvakalelo nalo mfo, okanye uzibeke wena kuqala kwaye ushiye.
Oku kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukuyenza, ngakumbi xa 'kushushu' kushushu… kushushu! Nangona kunjalo, uyazibophelela ekwamkeleni le ndlela yokuziphatha kwaye umyeke acinge ukuba kulungile ukudlala nawe ngolu hlobo, okanye uzixabisile ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungahamba kwaye ufumane into ebhetele.
Nangona uthanda umntu kangakanani, kuyadinisa kwaye kuyaphazamisa xa uziva ngathi bayakumosha. Ukuba bayakuthanda, kutheni bedlala imidlalo?
Ukufumana ulwalamano lwakho ukusuka ‘kushushu nokubanda’ kuye ‘kushushu, shushu, shushu!’ Ungathabatha amanye amanyathelo esiwakhankanye ngasentla.
Uya kuba nakho ukufumana isisombululo esisebenza kuni nobabini (njengonxibelelwano olungcono), okanye uyakuqonda ukuba ayilifanelanga ixesha lakho.
Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, uyazi ukuba umi phi kwaye uya kuba nakho ukuqhubekeka-nendoda yakho, okanye ngaphandle.
Awukaqiniseki ukuba wenzeni malunga nokuziphatha kwale ndoda kushushu kwaye kubanda? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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