Ukuba ufunda eli nqaku, umfo ombonayo okanye onobudlelwane naye mhlawumbi ukuxelele ukuba ufuna indawo.
Kwaye mhlawumbi ungaphezulu kokubhideka kancinci.
Isithuba. Ithetha ntoni loo nto? Ijongeka njani imihla ngemihla? Yintoni ngokwenene azama ukukuxelela yona? Ngaba ikhona imiyalezo efihliweyo? Uyaphi apha?
ukuba wenze ntoni emva kokuba ubanjiwe ukukopa
Ngokwesiqhelo le yinto eyenzekayo xa ubudlelwane busebuninzi kakhulu ebusaneni balo.
Xa nisoloko nibonana ngokungakhathali, kodwa ungatsho ukuba izinto zisemngciphekweni wokuba nzulu. Kukho okunokwenzeka apho.
Kodwa awukho kubudlelwane obuzinikele ngokupheleleyo okwangoku. Umfana mhlawumbi, kodwa kunjalo akusoloko, cela ikhefu endaweni yendawo ukuba nobabini beninobudlelwane bexesha elide.
Ngapha koko, umfana ocela indawo unokuba yinto ephazamisayo kwaye akwenze uzive ungaqinisekanga. Ke ezinye zeempendulo kwimibuzo abantu abaqhele ukuyibuza xa isenzeka kubo, ukuzama ukukunceda ngayo.
Zonke azinakusebenza kwimeko yakho, kodwa ngethemba banokukunika isikhokelo esiqinisekileyo sendlela yokuqhubela phambili.
1. Kutheni amanye amadoda efuna indawo?
Isidingo sendawo asiyonto ekhetheke kuphela emadodeni. Abafazi benza esi sicelo nabo.
Kodwa kukho amadoda amaninzi phaya afumana ithemba lokuzibophelela kakhulu ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
Amadoda anokufuna indawo kuba evakalelwa kukuba ubudlelwane buphuhla ngokukhawuleza kwaye bayoyika. Mhlawumbi ngenene bayakuthanda, kwaye lelo themba eloyikekayo.
Abakuqhelanga ukuthatha iimfuno zomnye umntu kwaye badinga ixesha lokuziqhelanisa nombono wokwabelana ngobomi babo neqabane.
Ukungena kubudlelwane obubi kukuxhuma okwenyani kokholo, ke mhlawumbi bafuna ukuqiniseka ukuba yinto elungileyo ekufuneka beyenzile ngaphambi kokuba babeke iintliziyo zabo emgceni.
Mhlawumbi ubudlelwane babo bokugqibela buphele ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye abaqinisekanga nokuba bakulungele na ukutsiba kwinto entsha.
Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba banezinye izinto ezenzekayo ebomini babo, kwaye abanamandla nje emvakalelo abakhoyo kubudlelwane ngoku. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, sonke siyayazi indlela yokutya yonke into ubudlelwane obutsha bunokuba njalo.
Mhlawumbi banengxaki nosapho okanye umsebenzi okanye impilo yengqondo kwaye bafuna indawo kuwe ukuze bakwazi ukujongana naloo nto.
Ngokusisiseko, isidingo sabo sendawo mhlawumbi sikhulu ngakumbi ngabo kunokuba kunjalo ngawe.
2. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba akanamdla?
Ingayiyo. Kodwa mhlawumbi akunjalo.
Kuyinyani ukuba abanye abafana banokuba ngamagwala kancinci kwaye bathi badinga indawo kubudlelwane xa sele besazi ukuba ubudlelwane abuzukusebenza, kodwa abanako ukuzizisa ngaphambili kwaye baphelise izinto ngokuthe ngqo.
Ayisiyondlela eyamkelekileyo leyo, kodwa yinto eyenziwa ngabantu abaninzi, kwaye ayikhethi bodwa emadodeni. Abafazi bayayenza nabo.
uyithatha phi isoka lakho xa usiya kwimini yokuzalwa
Kodwa banokufuna ngenene indawo. Mhlawumbi bahamba ngexesha elinzima kunye neshishini labo, usapho lwabo, okanye imeko yabo yengqondo.
Mhlawumbi ngenene bafuna ukusebenzisa esi sithuba kuwe ukuba basebenze kwizinto ezimbalwa, ngethemba lokuba obu budlelwane busakhasayo bunokusebenza kwixesha elide.
Ke, sukutsiba kuzo naziphi na izigqibo malunga noku kuthetha ntoni ngeemvakalelo zabo ngawe. Mamela emathunjini akho, kwaye ukuba ikuxelela ukuba kukho into phaya, vuma ukubanika ithuba lokuthandabuza.
3.Ndifanele ndenze njani xa umfana esithi ufuna indawo?
Umntu wakho ukuxelele ukuba bafuna indawo kubudlelwane. Ngoku kuthweni? Ukuba usafuna izinto zisebenze phakathi kwakho ke ekuphela kwendlela yokuphendula kukuthatha umoya, uncume, kwaye ubazise ukuba uyasihlonipha isigqibo sabo.
Akukho sizathu sokuzama ukuthetha nabo okanye ukutshintsha iingqondo zabo. Oko kuyakusebenza kuphela ukubatyhalela kude.
Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ungathathi buqu, okanye ubuncinci ungabazisi ukuba wenzakele sisigqibo sabo. Oku mhlawumbi akuyiyo ngawe, kodwa malunga nabo, ngoko zama ukuyigcina engqondweni.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba isicelo sabo sendawo sisandula ukwenzeka kumgca omde we imiqondiso yokuba abekho nje kuwe , ke mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uthi ndlela-ntle.
Bazise ukuba banokuba nayo yonke indawo abayithandayo kuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba akukho kamva phakathi kwakho kwaye udlulele emadlelweni amatsha.
4. Ngaba kufuneka sihlale sinxibelelana?
Kulungile ukuba ungene kwakhona ngoku kwaye uqiniseke ukuba benza kakuhle, ukuba uyafuna ngokwenene. Kwaye kuya kufuneka ubabone emsebenzini okanye phantsi kwezinye iimeko.
Kodwa kulumkele ukuqala unxibelelwano oluninzi kakhulu, kwaye ungalingwa ukuba uzame ukubarhwebesha kwiincoko ezinde.
Ukuba baqala izingxoxo, oko kulungile. Kodwa zama ukuyigcina incoko imfutshane kwaye imnandi.
Zama ukuba nguwe oza kuzisa incoko ukuze babone ukuba uyasihlonipha isicelo sabo sendawo.
Mhlawumbi baya kuba nombulelo kuwe ngenxa yoko. Kwaye mhlawumbi inyani yokuba awubaleqi emva kwabo iya kubenza bazibuze ukuba ingaba sele uqalile ukulahla umdla, kwaye utshintshe ingqondo ngokufuna indawo enkulu kangaka.
5. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba ‘sisekhefini’?
Ixesha lekhefu lihlala lisetyenziselwa ixesha lokuphuma kubudlelwane bexesha elide.
Kodwa ukuba ukuloo ndawo ingaqhelekanga akukho ndoda iphakathi kokuba kunye kwaye hayi, ke mhlawumbi unokudideka malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini oku kuyamkeleka kwaye yintoni engamkelekanga.
Ukuba bobabini khange nigqibe kwelokuba niyabonana ngokukodwa, ngoko nikhululekile ukuba niye kudibana nabantu abatsha kwaye nenze nantoni na isazela senu esiyixelela yona ukuba ilungile.
Kodwa ukuba ubuvumile ukuba ubukhethekile, isicelo sendawo mhlawumbi asithethi ukuba unesibane esiluhlaza ukuphuma apho kunye nokuthandana nabanye abantu.
Lo ngumcimbi wokumamela amathumbu akho. Ukuba ufuna ulwalamano lusebenze kwaye ucinge ukuba lunekamva, uya kufuna ukuphazama kwicala lokulumkisa kwaye ungathandani nomnye umntu de le meko isonjululwe.
6. Ndingamnqoba njani?
Akukho nto ingako onokuyenza kwezi meko. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, naluphi na unxibelelwano olwenza nabo luyaphikisana nesicelo sendawo.
Abantu abaninzi bazama iqhinga elingathanga ngqo kwimidiya yoluntu, bethumela imifanekiso ebonisa ixesha elimnandi kumzamo wokwenza umfana abe nomona okanye ambonise into ayilahlekileyo.
Kwaye yinto ekufuneka uyenzile ukuze uphephe. Ukuba ufuna ukuthumela kwimidiya yoluntu kufanele ukuba kube yinzuzo yakho, hayi kuba unethemba lokuba uyakuyibona.
Ke, ukuba uyafuna ukuthumela, kunokuba kungangcono ke ukufihla amabali akho okanye ixesha elifanelekileyo kuye, ukuze ungalingwa ukuba uzame ukubamba ingqalelo yakhe.
Eyona ndlela yokumbuyisa ibuye ibe yeyona nto ilungileyo kuwe. Phila ubomi bakho ngokupheleleyo. Chitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho. Yenza zonke izinto ezikonwabisa. Yamkela izinto ezikwenza ubengezele.
Oyena mntu ubalulekileyo owenzela yonke loo nto kufuneka ibe nguwe.
Kodwa, njengebhonasi eyongeziweyo, ukuphuma kwakho ubambe ubomi ngeempondo kuyakumazisa ukuba awumdingi ebomini bakho ukuba ube nexesha elimnandi (elinokuthi, ngokugwenxa, ngequbuliso likwenze ubonakale unomtsalane ngakumbi) kwaye umkhumbuze ukuba ubambe ntoni.
7. Lizokuhlala ixesha elingakanani / ndilinde ixesha elingakanani?
Lo ngumbuzo wokuba ubude kangakanani-sisiqwengana-somtya-wohlobo lombuzo. Kukuwe ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukumlinda ixesha elingakanani ukuze enze isigqibo.
Inokuba yintoni na ukusuka kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ukuya kwiiveki ezimbalwa.
Ngaba u-becky lynch unomntwana wakhe
Nantoni na engaphezulu kwenyanga yeyona nto uyityhilayo, njengoko eyazi ukuba unobomi obunokuphila kwaye akanakulindela ukuba umbambele.
Usenokuchaza ixesha alifunayo. Kodwa ukuba akwenzi njalo, sisigqibo sakho. Ukulungele ukulinda ixesha elingakanani?
Unokucinga ngokuseta uhlobo lomhla obekiweyo wokuba uzimisele kangakanani ukuxhoma ngokunyanisekileyo. Ukuba ngenene uyamthanda lo mfo kwaye ucinga ukuba kukho ikamva apho, lo mhla wokugqibela unokuba mde.
Ukuba akabuyeli kuwe okanye akwazise ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba izinto azizukusebenza ngalo mhla, unokumazisa (ngokuzolileyo nangentlonipho) ukuba awusayi kumlinda kwakhona.
Oko kuya kumnceda aqonde ukuba uyakufuna, okanye akushiye.
8. Ndingenza njani ukuze ndiyeke ukucinga ngaye?
Ukuba umthanda nyhani lo mfo, ukubanalo eli xesha ngaphandle kwakhe kunokuba nzima.
Kodwa akufuneki uchithe lonke ixesha alithathayo ukuzihlenga nje ngokucinga ngaye kwaye uzikhathaza ngento eza kwenzeka phakathi kwakho.
Zigcine uxakekile, chitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho, kwaye uzijule emsebenzini wakho nakwizinto ozithandayo.
Ngale ndlela, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba ubudlelwane abulunganga, uya kuba sele ugcwele, uxakekile ongaziva uswele ngenxa yokuba ungamfaki.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ngomfana wakho kunye nemfuno yakhe yendawo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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