Iimpawu ze-7 Uthando oziva lulo alunamida (kwaye oko kuthetha ntoni kubudlelwane bakho)

Uthando olungenamiqathango luvakala lumangalisa kwithiyori, kodwa xa usenza - xa kusiziwa kubudlelwane- isenokungabi yinto elungileyo. Okanye, ukuthanda umntu ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuhle, kodwa kukho ezinye iiparameter kunye neemeko ekufuneka zibanjelwe ngenxa yempilo yeemvakalelo kunye nokuba sempilweni.

Abantu abaninzi banama-breakers okanye iimeko abazimiselayo kwangethuba kwiimeko zobudlelwane okanye imikhwa enokuba zizizathu zokuphelisa ubudlelwane, okanye ukuphonononga ngokutsha nzulu.

ukonwaba njani emtshatweni ongonwabanga

Nazi iimpawu ezi-7 ohlangabezana nazo uthando olunemiqathango , kwaye oko kunokuthetha ntoni kuwe, kwiqabane lakho, nakubudlelwane bakho.





1. Unolindelo kubo

Ngaphandle kwento yokuba sinokubanga ukuba asilindelanga kumaqabane ethu, ngaphandle kokuba sifikelele kwinqanaba elithile lokuzola kweBodhisattva, amathuba okuba siza kugqitywa kukudana okanye siphoxeke xa besilela ukuphila ngokuvisisana noko sikulindeleyo kubo .

Unokuzifumana unqwenela ukuba iqabane lakho licoceke, okanye libe nentlalontle, okanye lithule, okanye enye yezinto ezininzi, kunokuba uzixabise kwaye uzamkele kanye njengoko zinjalo.



Qaphela indlela osabela ngayo kwihambo kunye nokukhetha kweqabane lakho. Ngaba wonwabile xa beziphatha ngendlela othanda ukuba benze ngayo? Okanye ukwenza ukhetho oluxhomekeke kukhetho lwakho kunokwabo, nokuba kungamalungiselelo esidlo sangokuhlwa okanye yeyiphi imovie oza kuyibukela?

2. Uziva ngathi awunakubathemba

Ukuthembana sesinye seziseko zobudlelwane obusempilweni, kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho likonakalisile ukuthembela kwakho kubo ukuxokisa , ukukopela kuwe , okanye ngenye indlela ukukukhohlisa, kunokwenzeka ukuba awusoze uphinde ubathembe ngokupheleleyo.

Unokubaxolela, usenokubathanda, kodwa uthando olungenamiqathango luthetha ukuba uyakuthanda kwaye wamkele umntu 'nokuba kunjani.'



Eyona nto, kukuba uyamthanda umntu, oko akuthethi ukuba anganako ukungcatsha ukuthembela kwakho kaninzi-njalo ngenxa yokuba bayazi ukuba uza kubaxolela kwaye ubabuyise. Usenokumthanda umntu, kodwa uphinde uqaphele ukuba ayizizo izinto zokusebenzisana namaqabane.

3. Utyhafiswa yimicimbi yabo yobuqu okanye izinto ezibangela iimvakalelo

Ngaba uzibona uqengqa amehlo kwaye uziva unomsindo okanye ucatshukiswa yimicimbi yobuqu yeqabane lakho? Endaweni yokuba uzive unomonde novelwano, ngaba ufumanisa ukuba uziva udelekile? Ngaba oko kudelela kungena kwindlela yokutsala ngokwasemzimbeni kwiqabane lakho, okanye ubabonisa isixa esisiseko sothando ?

Oku kuhlala kusenzeka xa elinye iqabane liye lalwa nobunzima obuninzi ebomini babo kwaye lafumana amandla kwizilingo zabo, ngelixa elinye livumele izilingo zobomi ukuba ziboyise kwaye zibadandathekise.

Nguwo Kunzima ukuziva uvelwano Ukubandezeleka nosizi lomnye umntu xa sele udlule 'kubi' kwaye uphuma ujika, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba iintlungu kunye nobunzima abunakulinganiswa kwaye bulinganiswe: umntu ngamnye unemingcele yakhe kunye nokunyamezelana, kwaye ingaba yintoni Ukoyikisa umntu omnye kunokutyibilika komnye njengamanzi emqolo wedada.

4. Ubaleka okanye ucime xa izinto ziba nzima

Kulula ukubanga ukuba uyamthanda umntu “ngaphandle kwemiqathango” xa ulwalamano lutsha - xa lukhazimla kwaye luzele ukujongana ngamehlo, ujikeleza ebhedini kangangeentsuku, kwaye uthetha ngamaphupha ngekamva… kodwa ubomi bugcwele kukuphakama amahla ndinyuka kunayo nayiphi na i-rollercoaster. Xa izinto ziba nzima, ngaba ume umhlaba wakho? Okanye uyabaleka uzifihle?

Kutheni zonke ezi zinto zimbi zisehlela

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uyabaleka kwinto ocinga ukuba ayisiyongxaki, okanye uziva ngathi uyalithanda iqabane lakho kancinci ngamaxesha obunzima, kusenokubakho imiba enzulu ekufuneka ijongiwe. Ukuthanda umntu ngokungagungqiyo kukwathetha ukuma ecaleni kwabo ngamaxesha anzima, nokuba kukusweleka komzali, amaxesha obunzima bezezimali, okanye xa / ukuba unesifo esibi.

Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):

5.Unyamezele Ukuziphatha Okungalunganga Kwaye Ibango Alikukhathazi

Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba ukuthanda umntu ngokungagungqiyo kuthetha 'nokuba kwenzeka ntoni,' kwaye bazilungiselele ukuthulula uthando kunye nokukhanya kumaqabane abo ngokuzinikela.

Ukuba olu hlobo lokuziphatha lukwenza uzive wanelisekile kwaye wonwabile, kulungile ke. Ukuba endaweni yoko, ukhona ukuba ndlongondlongo kunye neqabane lakho kwaye ukhalaza ngabo kubahlobo bakho nakumalungu osapho, lonke eli xesha unyanzelisa esinye isiqingatha sakho ukuba 'ulungile' kwaye 'awuphambananga' kwaye 'yonke into ilungile,' ngubani ke oxhamlayo kule meko?

6. Unamathele

Mhlawumbi ufuna / kufuneka uchithe lonke ixesha lokuvuka kunye neqabane lakho, emva koko ugqibe ekubeni nomsindo kunye nenzondo ukuba bathi bafuna indawo ethile ukuze babe bodwa. Uyanyanzelisa ekwenzeni yonke into kunye, kwaye yiba nomona okanye abarhanela xa befuna ukuphuma bayokwenza izinto bebodwa, okanye nabahlobo babo.

Zama ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomnye okomzuzwana. Ukuba umntu ebexoxa ngolu hlobo lokuziphatha nawe, ungathi uthando olungenamiqathango luthetha ukungabikho ezakho , okanye unomona, okanye inzondo?

7. Unika iNkxaso ngaphezu kokuYifumana

Oku kuqhelekile kwi ubudlelwane bokuxhomekeka apho elinye iqabane lingumlingisi we-narcissist kwaye elinye li-empath kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi. Ukuba u-empath, unokugoba ngasemva ukuthanda nokuxhasa iqabane lakho nangona kunokwenzeka, kodwa xa nawe kufuneka uxhaswe, umlingane wakho we-narcissist unokujonga ubuhlwempu bakho ngokudelela: banokukubona njengobuthathaka , kwaye uyirhoxise inkxaso yabo xa uyifuna kakhulu.

Abanye abantu banokuyiphatha le nto, bavume ukuba soze bafumane olu hlobo lwenkxaso kumaqabane / amaqabane abo, kwaye bafumane inkxaso abayifunayo kubahlobo nakumalungu osapho. Abanye abantu baxheleke ngokupheleleyo kukwazi ukuba soze balufumane uthando kunye nenkxaso abayifunayo kumntu abathandayo ehlabathini.

ukuba wenze ntoni xa uziva ungoyisi

Oko Ukwenza Ngayo Yonke

Abantu abaninzi abakholelwa kuthando olungenamiqathango… kwaye uyazi ntoni? Kulungile ngokupheleleyo. Abanye banokuphikisa ukuba uthando olungenamiqathango yintsomi engenakufikelelwa, kanti uthando olunemiqathango - olumdaka, olunzima, oluphazamisayo, kunye nolonwabo ngokujika - lusempilweni kwaye luzinzile.

Ngothando olunemiqathango, awulindelwanga ukuba uhlale uhlala wonwabile nokuba iqabane lakho lingenza ntoni, kodwa kulwalamano lwakho amehlo akho evulekile: ukwamkela intanda yakho njengesiphene, isiduko, isidalwa esihle onokukhula kwaye uguquke ngokuhamba kwexesha.

Ukuba ulangazelela olo thando lomlingo lungenamiqathango, nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uthathe inani lezinto kwiakhawunti.

Njengentlungu, ukonwaba, kunye nokusetyenziswa kwe-ice cream, abantu banemingcele eyahlukeneyo xa kufikwa kwinto abakwaziyo ukuyinyamezela ngaphambi kokuba bafikelele kwinqanaba lokuba banelisekile. Abanye abantu banokuwafumana onke la manqaku angentla kwaye babe nolwalamano olonwabisayo oluhlala ixesha lokuphila kwabo bonke, ngelixa abanye benokuthatha ngaphezulu kwesibini esele sikhankanyiwe njengabaphuli-mthetho.

Xa kuziwa kuthando olungenamiqathango, gcinani engqondweni ukuba ungamthanda umntu kakhulu, kodwa ungathandani nabo. Ukuba uyathanda nothando nothando, kodwa uzive ungonelisekanga, ungaxatyiswanga, okanye ungonwabanga, inokuba lixesha lokuba uzibuze nzulu ukuba kutheni ukolu lwalamano.

Ngaba kungenxa yokuba unqwenela ukuba kunye? Udibaniso? Ngaba ulapha ngokukhula komntu? Okanye ulapha ebomini balo mntu ukubangela ukukhula kwabo ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya?

wwe siphile ukhenketho lweholide 2016

Abantu bangena kubomi babanye xa befanele ukwenziwa njalo, kwaye njengoko isitsho loo nto, oko kunokuba sisizathu, ixesha, okanye ixesha lokuphila.

Loluphi uhlobo lothando onqwenela ukunika, kwaye nawe ufumane ngalo? Uthando olungenamthetho olungenantsingiselo? Okanye kuxhomekeke, kodwa umntu?

Ngaba awuqinisekanga nokuba uthando lwakho lunemiqathango okanye alunamibandela? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.

Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.