Ukugxekwa kunokuba sisixhobo esiluncedo xa sisetyenziswe ngendlela esempilweni.
Kodwa abantu abaninzi bayasokola ukwahlula ukugxeka okungalunganga kuluncedo, ukugxeka okwakhayo.
Ukugxekwa okungalunganga yindlela yokuziphatha enetyhefu kuba iyaphazamisa ekwakheni nasekugcineni ubudlelwane obunempilo nabanye abantu.
Bambalwa abantu abafuna ukugxekwa ngaphandle kokuba bayakucela. Nokuba bayayicela, kukho umahluko phakathi kokuphosa isigwebo kwaye ujonge ukusebenzisa ukugxeka njengesixhobo sokunceda umntu aphucule.
Ukugxeka abanye ngalo lonke ixesha kukupeyinta ngokukhanya okungathandekiyo. Abantu baya kukubona njengomntu okhalazayo kunye nomntu oza kuthintelwa, ngakumbi xa baneendaba ezimnandi okanye baziva bonwabile ngento ethile. Akukho mntu ufuna ilifu lesiphango elingapheliyo elidadayo phezu kwabo ukuze line ngemini yabo enelanga.
Ukuba ngumgxeki ongafunekiyo yindlela eqinisekileyo yokuzifumana uwedwa okanye ujikelezwe ngabanye abantu abangalunganga, abagwebayo. Kwaye ayisiyondlela intle yokuphila.
Yintoni esinokuyenza ukuze siyeke ukugxeka abanye? Makhe sijonge amanye amanyathelo onokuwathatha.
1. Chonga xa usenza projekthi komnye umntu.
Izigwebo esiziphosa kwabanye zihlala zibonakalisa into esinayo ngaphakathi kuthi. Ukugxeka abanye kuhlala kubangelwa lusizi lwethu, umsindo, umona, okanye ezinye iimvakalelo ezinzima.
Mhlawumbi omnye umntu wenza ngendlela engenankathalo ngokuzifica ngokutya kakhulu, utywala, okanye ngendlela yokuziphatha eyingozi. Unokubagxeka nangona ngamanye amaxesha usenza ngendlela efanayo. Kungenzeka ukuba awufuni ukujongana nokungabi noxanduva lwakho, ke ngoko uyijonge kwaye ugxeke lo mntu endaweni yoko.
Okanye mhlawumbi ugxeka umntu ocinga ukuba uyidlala ikhuselekile, uswele amabhongo, ungaphumi kwindawo yabo yokuthuthuzela, xa zonke ezi ziilebhile ozisebenzisayo ngokungazi kodwa ungafuni ukuvuma.
Xa uziva ufuna ukugxeka umntu, yima ithutyana kwaye uzibuze ukuba ingaba le nto uza kuyigxeka yinto oyenzayo, kunokuba ibeyinyani yemeko leyo.
Funda ngakumbi ngeli nqaku lethu: Ungayibeka njani indawo xa usiya kwabanye
2. Qonda ukuba awazi ukuba umntu ucinga njani okanye uziva njani.
Kulula kakhulu ukujonga omnye umntu kwaye wenze izigqibo ngokukhawuleza malunga nobunzima, ukubukeka, izenzo, ubuntu, okanye nantoni na eyenye.
Ingxaki ngezi zigwebo ze-snap kukuba zihlala zivela kumbono wethu olinganiselweyo walowo mntu.
Inyaniso kukuba, awazi ukuba kutheni lo mntu eyile ndlela ayiyo. Kwaye ukuba ugxeka kubo ngokusekwe kumbono wakho onqunyelweyo okanye ocingelweyo, uzibangela iingxaki ezingafuneki zibekho.
Umntu onoxinzelelo unokujonga umntu ancumileyo kwaye azive enomsindo okanye ecaphukile. Yintoni ekufuneka bonwabile ngayo? Abazi ukuba bunzima bunjani ubomi? Zimbi kangakanani izinto kubantu abaninzi? Zimbi kangakanani izinto zomntu onjengam?
Ingxaki ngoluhlobo lokugxekwa kukuba uthatha ukuba umntu oncumileyo wonwabile, akanankathalo, kwaye ngaphandle kweengxaki. Oko kunokuba kude kakhulu nenyaniso.
Abantu abaninzi banxiba uncumo kwaye baqhubeke nosuku lwabo kuba yindlela abasinda ngayo. Mhlawumbi bajamelana nelahleko enkulu ongayaziyo. Mhlawumbi bayasweleka okanye bafe ngaphakathi ngenxa yomothuko kunye nentlungu ubomi obuyilayishe emagxeni abo. Mhlawumbi badandathekile kwaye banentliziyo ebuhlungu, kodwa basenamandla okubeka uncumo, ukuze abanye abantu bangabuzi imibuzo emininzi.
Okanye umhlobo uqala ukubonisa ukungazibopheleli kobuhlobo kwaye asilele ukuphendula imiyalezo ngokukhawuleza okanye athi hayi ukudibana. Kulula ukucinga okanye ukuthi lo mntu ngumhlobo ombi okanye uyonqena kwaye uyadika.
Ngapha koko, loo mhlobo unokuba uhlangabezana nento ebomini babo ebathintelayo ekunikeni ixesha labo elininzi kunye namandla kubuhlobo, nokuba busondele. Oko kunokuba yimicimbi yosapho, impilo enkenenkene, okanye uxinzelelo lwezezimali / lomsebenzi. Kodwa ukuba abaziva bekhululekile ukuthetha ngezi zinto, kulula ukwenza ingxelo ukuze uchaze izinto.
Ke, uyeke ukugxeka abanye, sukucinga ukuba uyazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni ebomini babo okanye ezingqondweni zabo.
3. Musa ukudibanisa ukugxeka okungalunganga ngokuba luncedo.
Abantu abaninzi abagxeka kakhulu okanye abagwebayo abaziqondi ukuba yile nto bayenzayo. Bahlala beziva ngathi bazama ukunceda kwaye bakhuthaze abanye ngokugxeka kwabo.
Ingxaki yile yokuba abantu abafuni nyani izimvo kunye neengcebiso ezingacelwanga ixesha elininzi. Olu hlobo lweengcebiso zihlala zihlangatyezwa ngamehlo kunye no 'kulungile' kuba hee, kutheni bengazihluphi ngokulwa nawe malunga nokuba ngaba abayiqondi kakuhle ukuba yintoni ingxaki?
Kwabanye abantu, ukuba krwada nokuthetha ingqondo yakho luphawu oluxabisekileyo abanokuthanda ukuba abanye abantu babenzele lona. Kodwa ayisebenzi kuwo wonke umntu. Ukugxekwa akunakumpompa umntu okanye kubakhuthaze ukuba bahambe. Isenokuba yingxelo nje yendlela abangazenzi ngayo izinto ngokufanelekileyo okanye ngendlela oyamkelayo.
Sukwenza impazamo yokudida ukugxeka ngokuzama ukunceda. Endaweni yokuba ugxeke, zama ukubuza, 'Ndingakunceda ngantoni?' Oko kuvula ucango emntwini ukuze acele ingcebiso okanye uncedo ukuba uyalidinga okanye ulijikile.
Umgaqo olungileyo wobhontsi kukungaze unike iingcebiso ngaphandle kokuba uceliwe. Kwaye emva koko, isenokungabi ngumbono olungileyo. Ingcebiso yakho isenokungahambi kakuhle, emva koko baya kukusola.
ndithandana nendoda etshatileyo
4. Chonga umona wakho.
Ngamanye amaxesha siyabagxeka abanye kuba sibamonela.
Mhlawumbi ubomi bakho buye banzima mva nje, kwaye nemali ibixinene. Ke xa umhlobo uthenga imoto entsha, inokubangela uthotho lweengcinga ezimbi ngaye:
“Angayifumana njani loo nto? Kutheni efumana ukuba, kwaye andinayo? Akayifanelanga loo nto. ”
Kwaye emva koko, oko kuphuma ngokungenantlonelo, izimvo ezikhutshiweyo xa umhlobo wakho ezama ukonwabela ukukhwela kwabo okutsha.
Okanye mhlawumbi umntu osebenza naye ufumana ukunyuselwa phezu kwakho kwaye uphendule ngokuqaqambisa zonke iziphene zabo ukubonisa indlela abaphathi bakho abayenze ngayo impazamo. Kuphela, isigqibo esele senziwe kwaye konke ukugxeka kwakho kukwenza ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bokusebenza naloo mntu bube nobunzima bobutshaba.
Ke, ukungabagxeki abanye, Jongisisa ukugxekwa ngakunye ngokusondeleyo kwimiqondiso yomona. Ukuba ufumana nayiphi na into, uyazi ukuba ukugxeka kwakho akunasiseko kwaye unokuvala umlomo wakho ngaphambi kokuba uphume.
5. Yamkela wena neentsilelo zakho.
Olunye ugxeko olubi kwabanye luvela kukungonwabi nesiqu sakho.
Ukuthomalalisa ukungakhathali kunye nokwenza ulwamkelo olukhulu kunye nawe yindlela ethembekileyo yokumisa iingxelo ezingalunganga ezijikeleza ingqondo yakho malunga nabanye abantu.
Ngokuziqhelanisa nobubele kunye nokuqonda kunye nawe kunye neentsilelo zakho, ngokulula ngakumbi unokukhulisa ukuqaphela okufanayo kwabanye.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo. Ukuba besinokugxeka zonke iziphene umntu anazo, kuko konke esiza kuthetha ngako-kwaye kuya kutshabalalisa lonke ulwalamano esinalo.
Zikhumbuze nje ukuba uneziphene kwaye wenza izinto, ukuba bezenziwe ngomnye umntu, ubunokugxeka.
Ukuba unokwamkela ukuba uyazenza ezi zinto kwaye akusoloko kulula ukunqanda ukuzenza- nokuba ngumkhwa okanye kungenxa yokuba unguye-uya kuba nomonde ngakumbi kwabanye kwaye ubanyamezele ngakumbi, ukuba ngoobani, kwaye into abayenzayo.
6. Thatha ngathi abanye abantu benza konke okusemandleni abo.
Ngaba wakha weva ngegama elithi 'ukhathalelo olunolwazi olwenzakeleyo'? Kungumgaqo kukhathalelo lwempilo yengqondo apho ingcinga yokuba abantu ngokubanzi abaphangeli ukusilela okanye ukwenza izinto ezimbi.
Endaweni yoko, benza into evakalayo kubo ngokwembono yamava abo obomi, amava entlalontle, impilo yengqondo, kunye namandla abo.
Kukujonga into ayenzayo umntu kwaye enze ngokwembono yokuba nokuba benza into engalunganga okanye bathatha izigqibo ezimbi, abayenzi ngobubi. Benza ngenxa yezizathu ezingenakucaca ngokupheleleyo okanye eziqondakalayo.
Kwaye ngenxa yoko, isenzo sethu kwaba bantu kufuneka size ngononophelo kunye novakalelo.
Abantu ngokubanzi abazimisele ukusilela. Ngokuqhelekileyo abazimiselanga ukungafikeleli kulindelo lwabo, baphazamise ubomi babo, okanye benze izinto ezimbi.
Ngaba kukho abantu abakhohlakeleyo emhlabeni? Ngokuqinisekileyo. Kodwa uninzi lwabantu ehlabathini alunabungozi, nokuba benza izinto ezinokukwenzakalisa.
Igama 'umothuko' liphethe ibala elininzi kunye nemibono emibi. Abanye abantu bacinga ukuba isebenza kuphela kwiimeko ezimbi. Kodwa inyani yomcimbi kukuba amava emihla ngemihla angashiya ifuthe elinamandla, elihlala lihleli ebantwini.
Ukwahlukana okungalunganga kunokwanela ukugcina umntu angafuni ukubonisa umngcipheko kwiqabane elitsha. Ukuphulukana nomsebenzi kuzisa ixhala lokuhlawula amatyala, ukukhathalela usapho, ukuphulukana nendawo ekhuselekileyo yokuhlala nokutya. Ukufa kuhlala kunzima, kodwa yinto esijongana nayo sonke, kungekudala okanye kamva.
Inkathalo enolwazi ngoxinzelelo inokusifundisa okuninzi malunga nendlela yokuphepha ukugweba kwaye siyeke ukugxeka abanye.
Yenza ngokucinga ukuba abanye abantu benza konke okusemandleni abo ngesandla ababephethwe ngaso, kwaye awuyi kuziva kunyanzelekile ukuba uphumeze isigwebo kubomi babo.
Kuyavunywa, ayifezekanga. Awunakho ukuba ngumnyango emnyango womntu osebenza ngendlela eyityhefu kwaye umyeke ahambe phezu kwakho ukuba wenza izinto ezinobungozi. Kodwa unokukuphepha ukuvumela ukungakhathali ukuba kukhule kwaye uhlale engqondweni yakho ngaphandle kwirente.
Konke onokukulawula zizenzo zakho. Ukuyeka eso sigwebo kunye nokugxeka abanye kukuziva ukhululekile okunokukunceda ube ngumntu oshushu, onemfesane ngakumbi kubo bonke abantu-kuquka nawe.
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