Ukuqinisekiswa yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yempilo yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo.
Yindlela esihlangana ngayo nezinto ezingathandekiyo kuthi, sifumane imfesane kwezo ziphene, kwaye sikhule ukuziqonda.
Ukuqinisekiswa kukufuna ukuqonda kwaye wamkele into ethethwa yingqondo nentliziyo yakho kuwe, ngcono okanye kokubi.
Oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uvume okanye uvumelane noko kwenzekayo ngaphakathi.
Ngamanye amaxesha sineemvakalelo esaziyo ukuba ziphosakele okanye azichanekanga kwaye asivumelani kwaphela nazo, kodwa loo nto ayitshintshi into yokuba siziva sisaziva.
Kubudlelwane, ukuqinisekiswa kubalulekile ukubonisa ukuqonda.
Ngokunikezela ukwamkelwa kunye nokuqonda, sinika igumbi lokuba omnye nomnye asebenze ngeziphene zethu kwaye sikhule kunye sibe yinto ebaluleke ngakumbi.
Le yinto enamandla enokukunceda okanye abantu obathandayo bazamkele, ebonelela ngenkululeko kunye nokuqonda kwinqanaba elinzulu.
Yinto enzima ukuyenza.
Ukuziqinisekisa kunzima nje.
Ukuqinisekisa ngokwakho kuxa ungamkela kwaye uqonde zonke iziqwenga ezihambayo zento ekwenza ukuba ungubani na, okuhle nokubi.
Kwaye masijongane nayo, sonke sinomgxeki wangaphakathi othanda ukusixelela ukuba asilunganga ngokwaneleyo, ukuba iimvakalelo zethu azikho semthethweni, okanye ngandlela thile asifanelanga.
Sinokuphinda sibe neengcinga okanye iimvakalelo ezingahambelani nendlela esibujonga ngayo ubomi, indlela esifuna ukucinga ngayo, okanye engeyonyani.
Okwangoku, akufuneki sizigwebe ngokungqwabalala ngokuziva kunye nokuva ezi ngcinga neemvakalelo.
Oko kubangela unxunguphalo kunye nomsindo, osithintelayo ekubeni sikwazi ukusebenzisa ezo njengethuba lokufunda.
Ngokuya ukhululeka ngakumbi kwezi zinto zinesiphako, kulula ukuba uhlale uzolile, uqokelele, kwaye ufumane indlela yakho.
Ikuvumela ukuba ubonelele ngcono ngendawo yakho ukuze ukwazi ukwenza umsebenzi wangaphakathi ofunekayo ukuze ukhule.
Sikwenza njani ukungqinisisa ngokwakho?
Ugqirha Marsha Linehan, uNjingalwazi we-Psychology kunye nomyili we-Dialectical Behaeve Psychology, uchonge amanqanaba amathandathu okuqinisekisa elinye elonyusa ubunzima ekusebenzeni.
La manqanaba anokusetyenziswa ekusebenziseni imfesane ngokwakho.
Nokuba ubanakho ukuziqhelanisa nelinye lala manqanaba ngamanye amaxesha, kuya kufuneka ubenakho ukuzenzela indawo ethe vetshe ukuze uqonde kwaye wamkele le nto uhlangabezana nayo.
1. Yiba khona neemvakalelo zakho.
Isenzo sokubakho kukugxila kwimeko esikuyo.
Oko kunokuba ngumzimba okanye ingqondo.
Ukubakho ngokwasemzimbeni kukuba ingqalelo yakho ijolise kuwo nawuphi na umsebenzi othatha inxaxheba kuwo okanye ongqina kuwo.
Ungahlala kwaye ubukele ukutshona kwelanga, kodwa qhubeka ujonge kwifowuni yakho kunokuba ujonge ukutshona kwelanga.
Ukubakho iya kuba kukubeka ifowuni kude kwaye ubukele ukutshona kwelanga.
Kwinqanaba leemvakalelo, ukubakho nesiqu sakho kukuvuma kunye nokuziva ukuba ufuna ukuziva xa uziva.
Kuthetha ukuba asibi ndindisholo, siphazamise, okanye siyityeshele indlela esivakalelwa ngayo.
Sinika imvume yokuziva iimvakalelo zethu kwaye sizive xa sinakho.
Olu lulungelelwano.
Kukho amaxesha apho iimvakalelo zethu zingena khona okanye zinokujijwa.
Kukho namaxesha apho unokudinwa nje kukuziva unje. Isenokungahambi okanye isenokubangela obunye ubunzima ebomini bakho.
Awunakho ukukhetha ukuziva iimvakalelo zakho ngalo mzuzu. Kulungile nayo.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba uzinike ixesha lokuziva kwaye ucinge ngelinye ixesha.
2. Cinga ngokuchanekileyo imeko kunye neemvakalelo.
Ukucinga okuchanekileyo kukucinga kwaye uchonge indlela oziva ngayo kunye nezizathu zokuba kutheni.
Igama eliphambili kweso sivakalisi 'lichanekile.'
Ngokuchaneka, sithetha inyani kwaye ichanekile.
Akuncedi nto ukuzidiliza njengomntu ongaphantsi kuba uhlangabezana neemvakalelo ezingalunganga okanye iimpendulo kwimeko.
Endaweni yokucinga, “Ndibuhlungu kuba umhla wam urhoxisiwe. Akukho mntu ufuna ukuba kufutshane nam. Akukho mntu undithandayo. ”
Uya kufuna ukucinga into malunga nemigca ye, 'Ndibuhlungu ukuba umhla wam urhoxisiwe kuba bendonwabile ngalo mhla.'
Imbonakalo echanekileyo yale meko kufuneka ibandakanye iimvakalelo, unobangela weemvakalelo, kunye nengxelo eyinyani yokuba kutheni uziva nje ezo mvakalelo.
Okukhona unokuhlala kude nezimvo, kokukhona uya kufumana ulwimi olubi okanye olugxekayo kwezi ngcinga.
3. Yenza uqikelelo olufundileyo ukuba awuqinisekanga.
Qikelela!? Kutheni ungaqikelela ukuba awuqinisekanga?
Ewe, kungenxa yokuba sisenokungasoloko sinombono ocacileyo wento esivakalelwa ngayo okanye kutheni siyiva.
Uqikelelo olufundileyo lunokusinceda ukuba sihlale kwindawo echanekileyo yengxaki kwaye sinike isikhokelo malunga nendlela yokufumana ukungqinisisa oko sicinga nokuziva.
Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokwenza oku kuqikelela.
umboniso omkhulu kunye nomntu okrwada
Unokujonga kwiimvakalelo zomzimba ohlangabezana nazo.
Iqhina esiswini sakho linokubonisa unxunguphalo okanye uloyiko. Isigaxa emqaleni sinokunceda ukujonga usizi okanye ukoyiswa.
Unokufuna ukuqaphela ukuba omnye umntu kule meko ujongene nayo unokuziva njani.
Oko ayikukujongela phantsi oko ucinga, kodwa kukufumana umbono ongcono ngamathuba.
Ngaba le mvakalelo inokumenza azive njani omnye umntu?
Ngaba ukhe wabona omnye umntu kwesi sikhundla? Bangacinga njani okanye bazive njani?
Kwaye emva koko ungayisebenzisa njengemephu yendlela yokuqonda indlela oziva ngayo.
4. Cinga ngeemeko zexesha elidlulileyo ezinokuba negalelo.
Amava esinayo ebomini ashiya amanqaku angapheliyo ezingqondweni zethu.
Kusengqiqweni ngokwamkelekileyo kwaye kwamkelekile ukuba nempendulo engathandekiyo kunye neemvakalelo kwiimeko ezifanayo kumava adlulileyo apho siye salimala khona.
Umntu olunywe yinja usenokoyika kwaye angakhululeki xa sele ezinjeni esemdala. Oko akukho ngqiqweni.
Ukuzama ukuqinisekisa iimvakalelo zakho, kunokuba luncedo ukujonga iimeko ezidlulileyo ukuze uqonde ngcono ukuba kutheni uziva ngale ndlela uziva ngayo.
Isenokuba sisilonda esingaphiliswanga ngokupheleleyo, okanye esishiye uphawu oluhlala luhleli.
Oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uhlale kuloo mava amabi kwaye uzivelele ekubandezelekeni ngalo lonke ixesha ufumana lona.
Hayi, inqaku kukubona apho zivela khona iimvakalelo ukuze uzamkele, uziqinisekise, kwaye uzivumele zidlule.
Okukhona usenza njalo, kokukhona kuya kubalula ukuzamkela kwaye uziqonde kude kube akuyi kukukhathaza kakhulu konke konke.
5. Yenza iimvakalelo zakho ziqheleke ngokuzivumela uzive zonke.
Inkcubeko yokuzinceda kunye neatmosfera inomdla wokukhuthaza ukucinga okuhle kunye nolonwabo, okungonwabisiyo kuba ubomi abukho kuphela kulonwabo.
Kulungile ukuba neemvakalelo ezinamandla ezimbi, ngakumbi xa ujongene nezinto ezithile ezimbi ebomini bakho.
Kusengqiqweni ukuba buhlungu kukwahlukana, unomsindo ngokungafumani msebenzi okanye unyuselwe, okanye woyike ikamva elingaqinisekanga.
Ngaphantsi abantu abakrelekrele ngokwasemphefumlweni banokuzifaka ezi zinto ekubeni zithambile okanye zibuthathaka, kodwa azinjalo.
Ziimvakalelo ezifanelekileyo nezifanelekileyo zokufumana amava kwimeko engentle.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uhlale wonwabile, uhlala ujonge kwicala eliqaqambileyo, okanye uzame ukufumana ulwelwesi lwesilivere kwilifu ngalinye elingwevu.
Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka uzive ezo mvakalelo zingalunganga ukuze uzamkele kwaye uzivumele zidlule.
Into ebalulekileyo kukungahlali apho.
Ziqhelanise nokunyaniseka okukhulu nesiqu sakho.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukunyaniseka ngokugqibeleleyo?
Kukuzamkela ngokwakho ukuba ungubani, iintsumpa kunye nakho konke.
Wonke umntu unezinto ezithile ezimbi ngaye abangazithandiyo okanye abafuna ukuzamkela.
Mhlawumbi senze ukhetho oluphosakeleyo ebomini, sasikhokelwa kwicala elingalunganga, okanye asingo mntu olungileyo.
Zonke ezi zinto sinokuzitshintsha ukuba singazama ukuvuma ukuba asifezekanga kangako, kwaye samkele ukuba siyakwazi ukwenza ezi zinto zimbi.
Kodwa kufuneka samkele nokuba sinamandla kwaye siyakwazi ukutshintsha ezi zinto zingathandekiyo esingazithandiyo ngathi.
Awuzizenzo zakho ezimbi. Akukho namnye.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu bathatha izigqibo ezimbi. Wonke umntu uyayenza.
Zikhumbuze ngaloo nto xa uzifumanisa uhlala okanye uzama ukunqanda ezi zinto.
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