Ngaba ukhe weva 'ngokwamkelwa ngokupheleleyo' ngaphambili?
Uninzi lwabantu alukwenzi oko, ngaphandle kokuba babandakanyeka ngokukuko kunyango lokuziphatha, okanye uqeqesho njengengcali yengqondo.
Nangona isenokuvakala ngathi yi-oxymoron, ukwamkelwa okunamandla kude kukungakhathali okanye ubugwala.
Ngapha koko, ukujongana neenkcazo ezinxulumene nale ndlela kunokukunceda ujongane neemvakalelo ezinzima, kunye neemeko ezinzima.
Apha ngezantsi kukho ezona nkcazo zisebenzayo zokwamkela, kunye neenkcazo ezimfutshane zokuba kutheni kwaye zisebenza njani.
Ndiyathemba, kwixesha elizayo xa ujongene nobunzima, banokukunceda ukuba usebenze ngokunyamezelana okukhulu nangobabalo.
1. “Inzima le nto, kodwa yeyokwexeshana.”
Zonke iimeko ezinzima oqubisene nazo kwixa elidlulileyo ziphelile, akunjalo?
Ewe, nako oku kuya kudlula, kwaye kuya kuba yenye indawo yamava kwincwadi yakho yobomi.
Njengemozulu. Singafumana iimvula ezinkulu okanye i-blizzards eziyimfama, kodwa ilanga lasehlotyeni lisoloko libuya kwakhona, akunjalo? Amafu ayingxenye, ikhephu liyanyibilika.
wazi njani ukuba wenzeni ebomini
Oko akuthethi ukuba ngekhe uvume ukuba okwenzekayo ngoku kubi, kodwa yeyokwexeshana.
2. 'Andikwazi ukutshintsha okwenzekileyo.'
Amagama awanakuthethwa, kwaye iitisiki ezaphukileyo azinakudityaniswa zibuyelene ngokugqibeleleyo.
Unokuba kwiimeko ezinzima okwangoku kwaye unqwenela ukuba ubuyele kwiminyaka emihlanu, elishumi kwaye wenze izinto ngokwahlukileyo, kodwa oko akunakukhetha.
Ukwamkela ukuba asinakukutshintsha okwenzekileyo kubuyisela ukugxila kwethu kumzuzu wangoku, kwaye kusinceda sicinge ngento esinokuyenza ngoku ukwenza izinto zihambe kwicala elingcono.
Awunakho ukuhlengahlengisa ukungena kubudlelwane nomntu onetyhefu, kodwa ungathatha izifundo ozifundileyo kuwo ngekamva elisempilweni.
Ngokufanayo, awunakukuhlehla ukuyitya yonke loo khekhe, kodwa ungenza ukhetho olusempilweni lokutya namhlanje, nangomso.
3. 'Ingcinga zisenzeka nje engqondweni yam, ayiyonyani.'
Iingcinga zethu kunye neemvakalelo zethu zingaphuma kuthi xa sijamelene neemeko ezinzima.
Oko kwathiwa, rhoqo kunoko, yintoni ngokwenene Ukuqhubeka akunanto yakwenza noko thina cinga iyenzeka.
Kutshanje ndiye ndasebenza nebhinqa eliselula elalixakekile ngenxa yokuba wayeqinisekile ukuba isoka lakhe liyamlahla. Wayekude ngaloo mini, akazange amthumelele imiyalezo ebusuku njengesiqhelo, kwaye wangena kwimowudi yovalo ngokupheleleyo.
Kwakugqityiwe, kwaye wayezakumshiya ngaphambi kokuba amenzakalise, kwaye kwaye… agqibe ngokukhala kakhulu nangokukhala okungalawulekiyo.
Ndamthomalalisa ukuze angathathi manyathelo aqatha, kwaye xa babethumela umyalezo ngentsasa elandelayo, wachaza ukuba iyeza lakhe elitsha lokungabikho komzimba limenza ozele, kwaye walala ebeka umntwana wakhe ebhedini.
I-maelstrom yeemvakalelo ngeyayithintelwe ngale ngxelo yamkelayo yokwamkela. Akukho nto entlokweni yakhe yayiyinyani. Iingcinga ezothusayo, ziqhutywa kukoyika kwakhe.
4. 'Andizukuzihlanyisa ngezinto endingazukuzitshintsha.'
Mhlawumbi uvile ibinzana elithi umnqweno ukhokelela ekuhluphekeni, kwaye ukubandezeleka kukhokelela kumsindo. Ndiyabulela ubuBuddha kunye noYoda ngale nto, kodwa iyinyani.
Isizathu sokuba abantu beve ubunzima ngumnqweno wabantu wokufuna ukulawula. Into kukuba, kunqabile ukuba silawule nantoni na .
Ukwamkela ukuba akukho kulawula kwimeko inokubangela uloyiko, kodwa ikwanciphisa uxinzelelo oluninzi. Endaweni yokulwa nomsinga, uvumela ukuba uqhutywe ngawo.
Uya kufika elunxwemeni kunye nokhuseleko, mhlawumbi hayi indawo obucinga ukuba uyifuna kwasekuqaleni.
5. “Ukuhlala ngaphambili kwakundenza ndingazixabisi izinto ezikhoyo ngoku.”
Lo ngumba abantu abaninzi abajamelana nawo, ngakumbi ukuba bane-PTSD okanye ukungahambi kakuhle komntu kubuchwephesha bobuchwephesha obuvela kumaxesha adlulileyo.
Uninzi lunomsindo, lusizi, kwaye lukrakra malunga noko kwenzekileyo, kwaye bachitha ixesha elininzi bephila kwakhona umsindo kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba kwezo meko zibangelwe.
Kodwa abekho kwezo meko kwakhona, nawe awunguye.
Ekuphela kwento esinayo ngumzuzu wangoku.
Ngalo lonke ixesha uzibona uhlaziya iintlungu zangaphambili, yeka, kwaye ubuyisele ingqalelo yakho kumzuzu wangoku.
Ubona ntoni? Kunuka? Ukuchukumisa? Ngcamlani?
Hlalani apha, nize niyixabise into.
6. Ndakhe ndazimana neengxaki ngaphambili kwaye ndinako ukuzisombulula.
Ukuba ufunda eli nqaku, oko kuthetha ukuba uyaphila. Ikwathetha ukuba irekhodi lakho lokufumana iimeko ezinzima yi-100%. Musa ukulibala.
7. 'Ndiyazamkela izinto ngendlela eziyiyo.'
Ngaba uqhelene nebinzana elithi “ ukuba iminqweno yayingamahashe, abaceli babeza kukhwela '? Ngokusisiseko, ukuba yonke iminqweno eyenziwa ngabantu yonke imihla ibingamahashe okwenyani, umhlaba ubuya kugqithwa ngabo.
Sinqwenela ukuba izinto zahluke de iinkomo (amahashe?) Zibuyele ekhaya, kodwa loo minqweno ayizukutshintsha eyona nto iqhubekayo.
Kukho uxolo olukhulu xa samkela izinto ngendlela eziyiyo, ngaphandle kokunqwenela ukuba zahlukile. Nje ukuba samkele ezo zinto, sinokwenza izicwangciso zokujongana neemeko ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukwamkelwa ngamandla, kwaye loo mandla abonelela ngoxolo esiludingayo lokuqhubela phambili.
8. 'Kukuchitha ixesha ukulwa nento esele yenzekile.'
Uchitha ixesha elingakanani ucinga ngeemeko esele zenzekile, kwaye ucinga ngendlela obuya kusabela ngayo ngokwahlukileyo?
Yonke iminithi oyenzayo ngumzuzu ngekhe uphinde ubuye. Okudlulileyo kudlulile, kwaye akunakuphinda kubuye kuphinda kwenziwe, okanye kwenziwe kwakhona. Kananjalo, akukho sizathu sokuchitha ixesha lakho elinamandla kunye namandla ekuvuseleleni iziganeko zangaphambili.
Awufumani ukuphinda wenze, kodwa ungathatha izifundo ozifundileyo kwaye uzisebenzise kwiimeko ezintsha njengoko zisenzeka.
9. 'Ndingaziva ndixhalabile kwaye ndiyakwazi ukujongana nale meko ngempumelelo.'
Abantu abaninzi abajongana noxinzelelo kunye noloyiko baziva benentloni ngalo. Bafuna ukufihla kwiimvakalelo zabo endaweni yokuthatha inyathelo, ngokungathi abanakuthemba ezabo izigwebo okanye ukhetho.
Ngapha koko, bahlala beziva ngathi baya kuba nakho ukujongana neemeko xa bengasaziva bekhathazekile.
Unako, nangona kunjalo, ukothuka malunga nemeko kwaye usayiphatha ngokufanelekileyo. Awudingi ukulinda de idlule, okanye ukuba imeko itshintshe ukuze ube nakho ukwenza. Kulungile ukuba uzive uxhalabile, kwaye usebenze / ngayo ukuze wenze izinto.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, unokuziva unxaniwe, kwaye uphendule i-imeyile. Ngokufanayo, unokuziva uxhalabile, kwaye uyenze loo nto. Uyakwenza nje ngelixa uziva imvakalelo.
Nangona ezi mvakalelo zomeleleyo zisenokuziva zindongamela ngamanye amaxesha, azikulawuli. Unokukhetha ukusebenza ngazo, kwaye ngokwenza njalo, unciphise ukubambelela kwakho kuwe.
xa umfana ejonge kuwe
10. 'Andikwazi ukutshintsha ezinye izenzo okanye amagama, kodwa ndingakhetha indlela endiphendula ngayo.'
Unokucaphuka kumntu osebenza naye oqhubeka nokulahla umsebenzi kuwe, akushiye uzive ukhululekile kwaye ungahlonitshwa. Okanye uchukunyiswe yinto ethethwa ngumzali okanye iqabane lakho kuwe.
Kukuwe ukuba usete imida ecacileyo kwaye uthi 'hayi' xa abantu begqitha kubo.
Kwangokunjalo, kukuwe ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba uza kusabela kwigama eliqalisayo okanye uphendule ngokuzolileyo xa ukukhanya kweemvakalelo kokuqala kudambile.
11. 'Ndiyazamkela ngale ndlela ndiyiyo.'
Ugqibelele, kanye njengokuba unjalo.
Nangona unganqwenela ukuba ungahluka, uyimbonakaliso egqibeleleyo yendalo iphela eyazibonelayo. Onke amava esinawo abumba thina, kwaye sihlala sitshintsha kwaye siguquka.
Ukuba uyakwazi ukuzamkela ngale ndlela uyiyo, ngoku, ngaphandle kokunqwenela ukuba wahlukile, linyathelo elikhulu eliya kuthando olungenamiqathango.
Kwaye xa uzithanda kanye njengokuba unjalo, ukwimeko egqibeleleyo yokuthanda abanye ngaloo ndlela.
Yiba nobundlobongela, uvakalelo, ube yinyani, kwaye uphelele kuwe. Ngenxa yokuba uyamangalisa.
12. 'Kulungile ukuziva ngale ndlela.'
Nantoni na oziva ilungile. Azikho izinto ezinje ngeemvakalelo 'ezimbi': ziimvakalelo nje. Isaqhwithi 'asibi': yile nto siyiyo. Kwaye iyadlula.
Ukuziva uneentloni okanye umsindo ngenxa yokuba ukhawuleze wabethwa ngumtshangatshangiso woxinzelelo okanye ukuziva unetyala kuya kuyenza mandundu imeko. Endaweni yoko, zama ukuzikhumbuza ukuba le yimvakalelo, kwaye iimvakalelo ziyadlula.
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Njengoko sichukumisile, iimeko azinakuguqulwa ngokwaneleyo ukuze zilungele iinjongo zethu. Asikwazi ukulawula imozulu, iziganeko ezingahleliwe, okanye ezinye izenzo zabantu.
Xa samkela okwenzekayo, kunye nathi, ngaphandle kwemeko, emva koko sinesiseko esomeleleyo sokwenza utshintsho lokwenyani.
Ezi ngxelo zikukuhlangula zinokunceda ekuvuseleleni iimvakalelo ezinamandla ezikhulayo ngaphandle kolawulo. Basibuyisela kulo mzuzu, lo moya. Samkela okwenzekayo ngaphandle kwemeko okanye isigwebo. Asiwubambi umphefumlo wethu de iimeko zilungele ukhetho lwethu, okanye inqanaba lokuthuthuzela.
Oko sikuxhathisayo, kuyaqhubeka.
Xa samkela ngokupheleleyo into, ngaphandle kwemeko, emva koko sinamandla okuphendula kwaye silungelelanise njengoko kufuneka.
Ezo mvakalelo zingalawulekiyo azisasilawuli.
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