Kukho isiqwenga sobulumko esidala nesisoloko sicatshulwa esithi sithatha malunga nesiqingatha sobude bolwalamano ukugqitha kuso.
Ke, ukuba ubenomntu iminyaka elishumi, oko kungathatha malunga neminyaka emi-5 ukuba ugqibe ngokwahlukana.
Kodwa ngaba oku kuhlala kunjalo? Akunjalo.
Xa uphulukisa ekwahlukaneni, unokulindela ukufumana izinto ezahlukeneyo. Zonke ezi zinto ziya kuxhomekeka ekubeni ubudlelwane buhlala ixesha elingakanani, ukuba buqine kangakanani, bunjani ubuntu bakho, kunye nendlela izinto eziphele ngayo.
Oko akujoliswanga ukuba kubangele uxinzelelo kuwe: wena Ngaba dlula kule nto. Kuya kuthatha nje amaxesha ahlukeneyo ngokuxhomekeke emntwini.
Zeziphi izinto ezichaphazela ixesha lokuphola ekwahlukaneni?
Abantu badlula esiphelweni sobudlelwane kwizantya ezahlukeneyo, kwaye kukho izinto ezidlala indima enkulu kweso santya. Izinto ezinje:
1. Uhlobo lomntu olulo.
Ukuba ungumntu oneemvakalelo owenza iincamathiselo ezinzulu kwabanye ngokukhawuleza, kuyakuthatha ixesha ukuba uphilise kule nto.
Ewe kunjalo, ukuba ungumntu othinteke ngokwasemphefumlweni nothatha ixesha elide ukwenza unxibelelwano kunye nokuncamathisela kwabanye, ngekhe ungasokoli kakubi xa ubudlelwane buphela.
Abantu abanokwamkela izinto ngokulula banokuphulukana nexesha elilula ukwahlukana.
Abo baziva benesidingo sokulawula uninzi lwezinto zobomi babo azihambi kakuhle xa umntu ephelisa ubudlelwane kunye nabo. Bahlala benomsindo kwaye baziva befuna ukuguqula izinto ukuze ibe ngabo abalawula ibali.
Njengoko unokucinga, abo banokuhamba kunye nemisinga yobomi banexesha elilula xa kwenzeka okungalindelekanga.
2.Umgama ongakanani onokubeka phakathi kwakho ne ex yakho.
Uninzi lwabantu lunokwahlukana okunzima kakhulu kuba kuya kufuneka baqhubeke behlala ne-ex-yabo okwethutyana ngaphambi kokuba bafumane eyabo indawo.
Ukuba uhlala neqabane lakho kwaye nizahlukana, zama ukuya kwiindawo ezahlukileyo ngokukhawuleza. Nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba isilingi siyasasaza inyanga ngaphambi kokuba ufumane iflethi yakho.
Ngokufanayo, ukuba ubuthandana nomntu osebenza naye kodwa khange nihlale kunye, zama ukufumana omnye umsebenzi. Zimbalwa iimeko ezimasikizi njengokujongana nesithandwa sakho sangaphambili yonke imihla. Kubi kakhulu nokuba bakwisikhundla segunya, njengomphathi okanye umphathi wakho.
Umgama ukhawulezisa inkqubo yokuphilisa. Ininzi kakhulu 'ngaphandle kwamehlo, ngaphandle kwengqondo' - awuyi kukwazi ukuwakhupha ngaphandle kwimemori yakho, kodwa ubuncinci abayi kutyhalwa ebusweni bakho rhoqo.
3. Ukuzithemba nokuzithemba kwakho.
Indlela oziva ngayo kuwe iya kuba nefuthe elikhulu kwinkqubo yakho yokuphilisa. Inxalenye yoko kuphilisa kuhlala kuthetha ukuqhubeka nokuzibandakanya nomnye umntu. Ngaphandle kokuthetha, izinto ezininzi zobuqu ziya kudlala xa uhlakulela ubudlelwane obutsha.
Ukuba uzalisekisile kwaye unomdla kwimizamo yakho, kuya kuba lula kakhulu kwabanye ukuba bakufumane unomtsalane.
Ngokufanayo, ukuba uhlala ukhuthele kwaye usempilweni, kwaye uzive wonwabile ngenkangeleko yakho kunye nobuntu bakho, ngekhe ukhathazeke ngokwahlukana. Uyazi ukuba ngokungathandabuzekiyo uya kuba nakho olunye unxibelelwano olukhulu nomnye umntu.
Ngapha koko, unokudibana nomntu olunge ngakumbi kuwe.
4. Uziva njani ngenene malunga nolwalamano.
Abanye abantu bafumana ukuxhonywa ngakumbi kunye nokuthotywa abanokuziva malunga nokuqhekeka kunokulilela ukuphulukana nolwalamano ngokwalo.
ansel elgort ibali lasentshona
Zibuze ukuba ingaba ubambiswano obenalo belinyanisile na. Ngaba ubenayo indibaniselwano yokwenyani, emangalisayo nomnye umntu? Okanye ngaba nobabini kunye ngenxa yokuba beninomtsalane kwaye nibukeka nihle kunye?
Ngaba benizuza komnye komnye ngemali? Ngaba le yayiyintshukumo yamandla? Ngaba naziva nizalisekisiwe xa benikunye? Okanye ngaba ubukule ubudlelwane nje njengento yokwenza de kufike umntu ongcono?
Zazi ngokwakho, njengesiqhelo, kwaye uphathe lonke ulwalamano njengokwenza isidlo. Vavanya indlela enencasa ngayo, nokuba uyayonwabela okanye akunjalo, kwaye nendlela ekuziva ngayo emva koko.
Emva koko misela ukuba ijongeka ingcono kakhulu ephepheni kunokuba ingcamle kakuhle ngexesha lamava.
Ukusuka apho, unokuphinda ujonge ukhetho kunye nezinto ezikhokelele kolo bambiswano, ukuze uphinde uyile inkqubo, okanye unqande olo hlobo lokutyela ngokupheleleyo.
Uyile nto uyityayo, kwaye oko kuya kutshintshiselwano lwamandla nawo.
5. Kwakunjani ukwahlukana.
Xa ubudlelwane bufikelela esiphelweni sendalo, busenokwenzakalisa noko, kodwa kuhlala kukho isiqabu ngokunjalo
Kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, omabini la maqela kusenokwenzeka ukuba ebegcina nje imeko yexeshana. Ngamanye amaxesha iminyaka. Basenokuba sele beqalisile ukulushalaza ulwalamano ngaphambi kokuba luphele ngokusemthethweni.
Ke, xa ukwahlukana kwenzeka ekugqibeleni, 'ubuhlungu' bobabini amava luloyiko kunye nokungonwabi ngenguqu kunayo nayiphi na enye into.
Nje ukuba kudlule, omabini amaqela aqala ukuziva ezolile kwaye esondele kwinkululeko. Ngapha koko, banokuqala ukuvana ngcono kunangaphambili.
Ukuba le yindlela ohlukane ngayo, ungaqala ukuziva ubhetele ngokukhawuleza. Ewe, uya kuhlala ulilele ukuphela kobudlelwane, kwaye uya kufumana amawele ngayo kwaye ucime ixesha elide. Kodwa ukuba uyahlukana ngokwentetho elungileyo, amathuba okuba loo mawele aya kuba mnene, kwaye nina nobabini niya kukwazi ukuhlala nobungane.
Iya kuba libali elahlukileyo ukuba ibikukuqhekeka okungathandekiyo, uninzi lweemvakalelo eziphakanyisiweyo okanye iimeko ezixhwalekisayo ezikhokelela kuyo.
Kwaye inokuba mbi ngakumbi ukuba ibingumntu omnye owayefuna iphele. Esikhokelela kwinto yethu elandelayo…
6. Ngubani ogqiba izinto.
Ukuba nguwe ophelise izinto, ungaphela uziva unetyala kangangexesha elithile.
Inani lobutyala kunye nokwenzakala oya kuziva kuya kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi, kubandakanya nokuba iqabane lakho langoku lizama ukukuqinisekisa ukuba nihlale kunye. Ngaba basongela ukuzenzakalisa? Okanye usebenzise abantwana bakho njengamaqhekeza ukuzama ukulawula indlela oziphethe ngayo?
Ngenye indlela, ukuba nguwe owahlukana naye, uziva njani ngale meko?
Ngaba ukhe wazama ukubuyisa iqabane lakho? Ukuba kunjalo, kutheni?
Ukuba ububambelele kwithemba loxolelwaniso, nangona ezantsi uyazi ukuba akukho thuba, kuya kukuthatha ixesha elide ukufumana ulwahlulo kunokuba wamkele ukuba kuphelile. Olu hlobo lokwamkelwa luyabulala, kodwa lungcono kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo.
7. Enoba uneendlela zokujamelana nokwenzakala okudlulileyo.
Abantu abaye bahlangabezana neemeko ezininzi ezimbi banokuba neendlela zokuhlangabezana nazo eziya kubanceda bakhawuleze ngokukhawuleza.
Ewe, okwahlukileyo kunokuba yinyani- abantu abanamava oxinzelelo olukhulu banokuba novakalelo.
Endaweni yokuba banyamezele ngakumbi kwiimeko ezingalunganga, banokuphela benzakele ngakumbi kunabanye abanokuba kwimeko efanayo. Kananjalo, xa uqhawulo-mtshato lwenzeka, luyakunyusa iintlungu ezindala ezingenakubalwa, lwenze ukuba umjikelo wokuphilisa uthathe ixesha elide.
Yeyiphi indlela yokuziphatha enokuthi ikuthintele ukuba uqhubele phambili?
Uninzi lwabantu luyazilimaza inkqubo yabo yokuphilisa ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba benza njalo. Nazi ezinye zeendlela abazenza ngayo ezi zinto:
1. Ukulandela imithombo yeendaba zentlalo.
Ngaphambi kokuba inethiwekhi yokuncokola kunye neendawo ezinje nge-Facebook, i-Twitter kunye ne-Instagram zenzeke, ekuphela kwendlela esinokuva ngayo malunga ne-exes yethu kungathetha nabo ngokuthe ngqo, okanye ukubuza emva kwabo kwizangqa zethu zentlalo.
Ngokubanzi sizama ukuphepha le yokugqibela ngenxa yokuba ubuza abahlobo bobabini into eyenziwa ngumlingani wakho kunokuba afune, kwaye akubonakalisi kakubi.
Enye indlela ibiya kuba kukubalandelela, ewe, kodwa oko kuwela kwinqanaba 'lokudinwa' elikhankanywe apha ngasentla.
Ngaba ujonga iiprofayili zentlalo yeqabane lakho langaphambili rhoqo? Ukuba kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba uzibuze ukuba kutheni usenza oko.
Kuyaqondakala ukuba ungaphoswa ngabo, kwaye ufuna ukungena ujonge ukuba baqhuba kakuhle na, kodwa ngaba oko kukunceda ngokwenyani ukuba uqhubeke?
Ukuba ngabo abaqalise ukwahlukana, unokuba ujonge kubo ukuze ubone ukuba bayabandakanyeka kumntu omtsha. Abanye abantu benza oku ukuze babone ukuba ngaba likho ithuba lokubuyelana kwakhona - ukuba abukho ubungqina bokuba bayabandakanyeka nomnye umntu, mhlawumbi kusekho ithemba.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba ufumanisa ukuba eneneni babona omnye umntu, oko kuyakubangela ukuqinisa okanye ukuqinisa zonke iintlobo zeemvakalelo. Ukuba ubunethemba elinye ithuba, ukujonga iifoto zabo neqabane elitsha kuya kuyaphula intliziyo yakho kwakhona.
Unokuqala nokuzithelekisa nalo mntu mtsha, kwaye uphuhlise iingcinga ezintle ezimnyama ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Ukuba bancinci kunawe, emva koko ungaqala ukuziva ungakhuselekanga malunga nobudala bakho. Kuyafana nokuba ucinga ukuba banomtsalane ngakumbi, okanye bayaphumelela, okanye nayiphi na enye into enokukwenza uzive ungaphantsi.
2. Ukujonga iifoto kunye nevidiyo ezindala.
Itekhnoloji yale mihla inokusithintela ekubeni siqhubeke nobomi nangezinye iindlela. Kulula kakhulu ukukhumbuza iinkumbulo owabelane ngazo nomntu wakho wakudala kuba kunokwenzeka ukuba unemithwalo yeefoto okanye iividiyo zenu nobabini kwiifayile zakho zentlalo okanye iifowuni.
Kulula kakhulu kwaye kuyalingwa ukujonga ngaphezulu kwezi kwaye ucinge emva kumaxesha olonwabo. Emuva ngemini, ubuya kuba neefoto zomzimba wakho nobabini kwaye ungazibeka ngokulula ebhokisini okanye uzitshise ukuba uyafuna.
Ngokufanayo, unokucima iinkumbulo zedijithali zakho kunye ne-ex yakho kwifowuni kunye neeprofayili.
3. Ukufunda imiyalezo emidala.
Unokuba namawaka okanye amashumi amawaka emiyalezo emva naphambili phakathi kwakho ne ex yakho. Ngaba ufunda kubo ukhangela izizathu zokuba kutheni ubudlelwane buphelile ngendlela obuphume ngayo okanye apho yonke iqale khona ukungahambi kakuhle?
Ngalo lonke ixesha usenza oku, ushukuma nje enxebeni elivulekileyo eliyintlungu yokuqhekeka. Oku kuthintela ekunyangeni ngokufanelekileyo.
4. Ukuncamathela kwimikhwa owabelana ngayo nowayesakuba ngumhlobo wakho.
Ngaphandle kobukho bedijithali ye-ex yakho, kukwakhona ukubaluleka ngokweemvakalelo kwezinto ezithile onokuzenza kunye.
ucinga ntoni ngokukhohlisa kubudlelwane
Umzekelo, mhlawumbi ubukele umboniso othile kunye okanye uhlala unesidlo sasemini esifanayo kuloo cafe incinci ngeCawa. Nini kwaye ukuba uzenza ngoku ezi zinto, zinokuvuselela iinkumbulo kunye neemvakalelo ezindala.
Inokukunceda uyeke i-ex yakho xa uyeka ukubukela umboniso okwethutyana kwaye uphephe loo cafe ngekamva elibonakalayo. Ngenye imini ezi zinto aziyi kuba nefuthe leemvakalelo ezifanayo kuwe kwaye uya kuba nakho ukubuyela kuzo, kodwa okwangoku, zibeke ecaleni.
Funda ukugcina umgama kwaye uyeke.
Nokuba nguwe oqalise ukwahlulahlula, okanye benze, kungcono ukuvumela izinja ezileleyo zixoke. Yeka kwaye uvimbe iiakhawunti zabo zentlalo ukuze ungalingwa ukuba ujonge kubo.
Yazisa izihlobo zakho kunye nosapho ukuba awufuni kuva nantoni na malunga ne-ex yakho, kwaye ubacele ukuba bagcine naluphi na ulwazi kubo ukuze uphilise kwaye uqhubeke.
Kuyafana nokubambelela kwizinto abanokuzishiya endaweni yakho.
Nokuba bazicelile ezi zinto okanye hayi, balahle. Zisebenza kuphela njengezikhumbuzo zomntu owahlukane naye. Ukuba unedilesi yabo entsha, pakisha yonke into kwaye uyithumele kubo. Okanye ufumane umhlobo ongumhlobo ukuba ayilahle.
Nokuba ukwahlukana bekukubi kakhulu, kubalulekile ukuba ususe ezi zinto kwindawo yakho ngobabalo kunye nentando elungileyo. Nika iqabane lakho langaphambili ithuba lokubuyisela izinto zabo, ngakumbi ukuba kukho ukunamathela ngokweemvakalelo kubo, okanye ukuba batyale ixesha elininzi kunye nemali ukuze bazuze.
Zama ukungabi nabubi kwaye utshise okanye ngenye indlela utshabalalise izinto zabo ukuze 'ubuyisele kubo' ngenxa yokubangela iintlungu. Oko kuyakuqala nje umjikelo wamandla amabi oya kubenza baziphindezele, emva koko uyakwenza oko ngokulandelelana, njl.
Injongo apha kukusika amaqhina kwaye uqhubeke ngendlela esempilweni. Ujonge ukuzinza ngokweemvakalelo, hayi ngenjongo yokuzenzakalisa.
Kuthekani ukuba iintlungu azipheli?
Kukho iimeko apho ubudlelwane buphela ngendlela eyoyikisayo. Ukuba ubuqabane bakho buphelile ngoxinzelelo, ke amathuba okuba izakuqhubeka ikukhathaza ixesha elithile.
Umzekelo, yinto enye ukuba nobabini nahlukana kuba ufumanise ukuba bayakukhohlisa.
Yenye into ngokupheleleyo ukuba upakishe ubomi bakho bonke kwaye usebenzise yonke imali yakho ukuhambisa ilizwe ukuze ube nabo, kuphela ukufumanisa ukuba sele betshatile kwaye ubungumntu osecaleni.
Xa umntu engcatshwa kakubi ngumntu amvumele ukuba amthande kwaye amthembe, olo hlobo lokonzakala lubangela inxeba elinzulu. Ngapha koko, kuhlala kunzima ukubuyisa umva kuloo ngaphandle koncedo.
Ukufumana umothuko ngolu hlobo kunokubangela uxinzelelo olubi kunye noxinzelelo, kunye nemicimbi ethembekileyo ehlala ixesha elide. Ukuba wonakaliswe kakubi yindlela ubuhlobo bakho baphela ngayo, akukho ntloni xa uthetha nomntu ngayo.
Abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho banokukunceda, ukuba ziindidi ezixhasayo ezinokuqonda ukuba uhamba ngantoni. Unokuthetha nomcebisi ngenkxaso yokomoya, njengomfundisi wakho, umfundisi, urabi, imam… nokuba yeyiphi na inkolo okanye ifilosofi oyilandelayo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhona umntu okwisangqa sakho onokukunceda uphinde ufumane uxolo kunye nokucaca ngalo mbhodamo.
Yenza isiqhelo ngokwakho esigxile ekuphiliseni nasekusebenzeni ngento onayo. Ukuzilolonga kungaluncedo olukhulu kule nkalo. Xa uziva unamandla anjengomsindo, ukukhathazeka, okanye ukungcatshwa, nyuka uhambe okanye ubaleke. Okanye bamba intambo yokutsiba ukuba awukwazi ukuphuma ngaphandle kwaye utsibe ude uzive uzolile.
Qalisa ukwenza i-yoga okanye i-tai chi, okanye uqheliso olufanayo olubandakanya ingqondo, umzimba kunye nomoya. Ngokugxininisa onke amandla akho kumzuzu wangoku, emzimbeni nasemphefumlweni, lonke uxinzelelo lwakho luthathwa kunye nentlalo-ntle yakho. Ayikukhathazi kangako loo mntu.
Ukuba, emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, ufumanisa ukuba usasokola kakhulu ngenxa yako konke oku, cinga ngokufuna olunye uncedo lobuchule. Umcebisi wezobudlelwane unokukwazi ukukukhupha ngaphandle kwentlungu ohlangabezana nayo ukuze uqhubeke ngendlela esempilweni. Sincoma inkonzo ye-Intanethi kwi-Relationship Hero -ukunxibelelana nomcebisi okanye ukulungiselela usuku kunye nexesha leseshoni.
Uza kuqala nini ukuziva ungcono?
Ngelishwa, awukho umhla ophelileyo oza kupela xa uza kuqala ukukhathaza kancinci. Uninzi luxhomekeke kwimeko yakho yeemvakalelo, kunye nokukhawuleza ukubuyela umva kwiimeko.
Amanqanaba ahlukeneyo osizi awenzekayo xa umntu esimthandayo esifa anokusetyenziswa nakwilahleko yobuhlobo. Uninzi lwabantu luqala ngokukhanyela nokwenzakalisa, emva koko batshintshe babe ngumsindo kunye / okanye uxinzelelo ...
Intlungu ayinakuphepheka, kodwa ukubandezeleka kukukhetha. Kukhetho, kwaye zonke izenzo zethu zikhetho.
Ukuba wenzakele ngokunzulu ngenxa yokwahlukana, thatha ixesha lokuba ucacelwe gca kuwe malunga nokuba yintoni kanye kanye le uyenzakalisayo.
Uyakwazi njani ukuba uqala ukuziva ubhetele?
Okokuqala nokuphambili, xa ingcinga yakho kwangoko xa uvuka ingagxili kwindawo yakudala.
Unokuvuka kwaye wonwabe kukuba ilanga liyakhanya, okanye uyakube ucinga ngezinto ezothusayo ophuphe ngazo. Ngequbuliso, ngelixa unayo iketile leti okanye ushukumisa iziqhamo kwisiriyeli sakho, uyakuqonda ukuba khange ucinge nge-ex yakho. Kwaye loo nto iluphawu oluhle ngokwenene.
Ngokubanzi, uyazi ukuba uqala ukufumana ukwahlukana xa unokucinga ngomlingane wakho wangaphambili kwaye ungabi nalo gagasi lweemvakalelo ezinamandla. Akukho flash yomsindo, akukho wave uxinzelelo. Usenokuziva ukhathazekile ngoku, kodwa uya kuba nakho ukucinga ngazo ngokungathathi cala.
Nangona kuthatha ixesha elingakanani, uya kufika kuloo ndawo ekugqibeleni, ngoncedo okanye ngaphandle kwayo.
Ngaba ujongene nokuqhekeka kwaye ufuna uncedo lokuqhubekeka neemvakalelo zakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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