Ubuhlobo obusecaleni buqheleke ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga… kwaye bonakalisa kakhulu.
Isenokuvakala nje ngokungathi uyamthanda umhlobo wakho ngakumbi kunendlela abakuthanda ngayo, kodwa inokuba bubuhlobo obunobungozi obuyingozi obunokuphelisa ukonakalisa impilo yakho yengqondo nokuzithemba kwakho.
Ngaba uyazibuza ukuba ungomnye?
Iimpawu zethu ezilishumi eziphezulu zobuhlobo obunamacala amabini ziya kukunceda uphendule loo mbuzo!
Sikwabonelela ngengcebiso malunga nokuziphepha nokuzisombulula- okanye ukuqhubekeka, ukuba yinto elungileyo ukuyenza leyo.
1. Ilungele bona.
Ngaba ukhe waqaphela ukuba ubuhlobo bakho kakhulu kakhulu ngokwemiqathango omnye umntu?
Udibana xa kufanelekile kubo kwaye uye kwiindawo bona njenge.
Ngamanye amaxesha, oku kunokuba yinto eyenzekileyo, okanye isenokuba yindlela obusebenza ngayo ubuhlobo bakho.
Kodwa isenokuba ngumqondiso wokuba izinto azihambelani njengoko ubucinga.
Kungaba nzima ukwenza into efanelekileyo kwaye yintoni eyenzekayo, kodwa, ukuba iyaqhubeka isenzeka, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubuhlobo bakho abuhambelani kakuhle.
Abanye abantu bayathanda ukugcina 'abahlobo' babo kwindawo yabo kwaye batsalele umnxeba. Bakhetha ukubabona xa bedikiwe okanye xa bengafumananga sipho sibhetele.
Abanye bayabakhetha kwaye babaphosa abantu ebomini babo. Ungafumanisa ukuba lomntu ucinga ngaye uphelele iveki yonke, ekuthumelela imiyalezo ngalo lonke ixesha nokwenza izicwangciso kunye nawe, ngaphambi kokungahoyi kwiveki elandelayo.
Oku kuhlala kubangelwa kukuba ezinye izihlobo zabo zingabikho kule veki kwaye ube yeyona nto ilandelayo. (Ngaba uyonwabile ngokuba 'yinto elandelayo elungileyo'?!)
Kungenzeka ukuba babe neveki enzima kwaye bafuna inkampani elula.
Nokuba zeziphi izizathu ezibangela le ndlela yokuziphatha, ayilunganga kwaye iphakamisa ukuba ubuhlobo bakho abuyonyani ngokwaneleyo ukuba bubaluleke ebomini babo.
Ukuba uziva ngathi umhlobo wakho uthetha nawe kuphela xa kufanelekile, luphawu lobuhlobo obunamacala amabini kwaye kufuneka ucinge ngendlela oziva ngayo ngenene.
2. Bakubeka phantsi (phambi kwabantu).
Ubuhlobo bokwenene bakhiwe kukukhathalelana, ukuhloniphana, kunye nokuthembana- nibuyelane kwaye niya kubakhusela.
Ngapha koko, uya kubenza bakhulu uya kubancoma kwaye wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukwenza ukuba abanye abantu baqonde indlela emangalisa kwaye ekhethekileyo ngayo.
Ubuhlobo obukwicala elinye bunokwakhiwa kwiziseko zokuba lilolo, ukungazithembi kunye noxinzelelo.
Ukuba ukolunye lwezi ntlobo zobudlelwane, kusenokwenzeka ukuba bafuna ukukugcina kufutshane ukunqanda ukuba ungakhuphisani.
Ukuba uziva ngathi ungumhlobo wabo, awuyi kwenza umboniso wokuba nomtsalane ngakumbi kunabo, okanye okrelekrele okanye ohlekisayo kunabo.
Ukukugcina usondele yenye indlela yabantu yokuthintela ukuba ungakhazimli ngokwakho.
Ukuba kunjalo, unokuqaphela ukuba bakubeka phantsi kakhulu, rhoqo phambi kwabanye abantu.
Amagqabantshintshi malunga nembonakalo yakho kunye nokuziphatha kunokubangelwa ngumona.
Uyakhumbula xa umama wakho wayekuxelela ukuba amantombazana akhohlakele ngenxa yokuba benomona ngawe? Wayeyazi ukuba uthetha ngantoni!
3. Wenza umgudu.
Ngaba nguwe ohlala uthumela imiyalezo kuqala, uhlala ucebisa ngobusuku obumnandi ngaphandle okanye ngebrunch brunch?
Ubuhlobo yindlela-mbini esitratweni, ke kuya kufuneka uvumele isuntswana lesitampu samaxesha xa abahlobo bakho bexakeke kakhulu ukuba bangakubona okanye bangaphenduli kwangoko.
Wonke umntu unobomi bakhe, kodwa okubalulekileyo kukuba ingaba okanye hayi benza ixesha lakho kwelabo.
Ukuba uziva ngathi uhlala usenza umzamo, isenokuba lixesha lokuba uphinde uhlolisise ubuhlobo bakho.
Ukwenza umgudu, ukwenza izicwangciso, kunye nokubonisa malunga nokufuna nje umntu ukuba ahambe nabo.
4. Bayi-BFF yakho, kodwa awungowabo.
Ngaba ukhe uqaphele ukuba abaze bakubize ngokuba ngumhlobo wabo, nokuba wenza inqaku lokubazisa ukuba ubaxabise kangakanani?
Lo ngomnye wemiqondiso ecace gca yokuba ubuhlobo bakho bujonge kwicala elinye, kwaye kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu ukuvuma.
Uya kuthi ngequbuliso uqaphele ukuba nguwe obeka inzame kwaye ubaphathe njengomhlobo-usenza izinto ezintle ukubenza bazive kamnandi, ubamangalisa ngezipho ezicingayo, kwaye uthatha iminxeba yabo ngentsimbi yesine ekuseni.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba abazenzi, okanye ngekhe, bakwenzele ezi zinto, lixesha lokuphelisa ukwala kwaye ujonge ukuba ingaba obu buhlobo yinto ekufanele ukuba uyayilwela na.
5. Ushiyeke uziva usetyenzisiwe.
Oku kunxibelelana nenqaku elingentla. Unokuba lula nje kubo - ubuqabane xa bekruqukile- kunokuba ngumhlobo wokwenene.
Ukuba uhlala uzifumana uziva usetyenziswa ekupheleni kosuku olichithe nabo, ulungile.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba omnye umntu ngu ndiyakusebenzisa.
Oku kunokuba kukuzalisa ukungabikho komhlobo okanye iqabane elilahlekileyo, njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla, okanye kungabenza bazive bhetele ngeziqu zabo.
Abanye abantu bazingqonge ‘ngabahlobo’ abaninzi ukuze bazenze bajonge kakhulu.
Bafuna ukubonakala bethandwa kwaye bexatyisiwe, bafuna ukwabelana ngamabali ngeziganeko kunye nobusuku, kwaye bafuna ukutyabeka ubomi babo obuxakekileyo kuyo yonke i-Instagram.
Ukuba uziva usetyenzisiwe, kunokuba kungenxa yokuba bayakusebenzisa-njengepropathi!
Abantu abaninzi bakwenza oku ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elithile, kodwa akunampilo kwaye akulunganga.
6. Kusoloko ngabo.
Ngaba ukhe wema ukuze ucinge ngokulinganisela kwengqwalaselo kubuhlobo bakho?
Xa uhlala, uhlala uthetha ngantoni?
Ngaba imalunga nemicimbi yakho okanye eyabo?
Ngokufanelekileyo, iya kuba ilungelelene kakuhle!
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba omnye wenu uhamba ngexesha elinzima, kungokwemvelo ukuba uya kuthetha ngemicimbi yaloo mntu ngaphezu kobomi bomnye umntu.
Oko kwathiwa, ukuba uqaphela ukuba iba ngumzekelo, lixesha lokuba uqwalasele ngenene into oyifunayo kobu buhlobo.
Ukuba ulungile nalo mntu ungakuvumeli ukuba uthethe ngawe, kwaye uziva unentlalo eyoneleyo eyonelisayo kwenye indawo, kukuwe ukuba uyahlala okanye awuhlali.
Ukuba uhlala ushiywe unqwenela ukuba lo mhlobo ubonise umdla ngakumbi ebomini bakho, ngokwenene sicinga ukuba kungalixesha lokuthatha inyathelo.
umfanekiso wendoda kaDolly Parton
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Into enokuyenza Ukuba Uyabacaphukela Abahlobo Bakho
- Iindidi ezi-9 zabahlobo ukuHamba (ngaphandle kokuziva ungalunganga)
- Iimpawu ze-14 zabaHlobo beNkohliso: Ungayijonga njani iMile
- Bangaphi Abahlobo Ngaba Ufuna Ebomini Bakho?
- Ubafundisa Njani abantu indlela yokuNyanga
- Incoko yeNarcissism: Indlela yokujongana nayo kwaye uyiPhephe
7. Uziva udiniwe emva kokubabona.
Le yinto ekunokuba nzima ukuyamkela, kodwa abanye abantu bakushiya uziva uhlaziyekile.
Kungenzeka ukuba kufuneka ubeke amandla amaninzi kwiincoko zakho okanye kuthatha umzamo ongakumbi ukuze ube nethemba malunga nabo, kodwa ugqiba ekubeni uzive ukhathele emva kokuchitha ixesha kunye nabo.
Nokuba ngumhlobo, umntu osebenza naye, okanye iqabane, olu hlobo lweemvakalelo aluphilanga kwaphela!
Isenokungabi yimpazamo yabo, kodwa kufanelekile ukuthatha inyathelo ubuye umva kuyo nantoni na ekushiya uzive umbi kakhulu kunakuqala.
Kungenzeka ukuba nichitha ixesha elininzi kunye kwaye yonke into ifumene kancinci-nokuba nobuhlobo obuhle kakhulu bunokukwenza uzive udiniwe ukuba uzama nzima ukugcina amandla kwaye uhlale unemincili ngayo yonke into ngalo lonke ixesha.
Kungenzeka nje ukuba omnye umntu unamandla amancinci kwaye kufuneka uthathe ixesha lokuzihlaziya kwaye uzihlaziye.
Thatha inyathelo ubuye umva, babone kube kanye ngeveki endaweni yamaxesha amathathu kwaye ujonge indlela ezichaphazela ngayo iimvakalelo zakho kunye namandla amanqanaba
Ukuba uziva uzive ngcono kakhulu ngokungaziboni kangako, uyifumene impendulo yakho.
8. Bathatha le nto bayifunayo- ngokoqobo.
Ngoku, sifuna ukugxininisa apha ukuba ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo leyo, ke musa ukothuka!
Usenokuba uqaphele ukuba umhlobo wakho uthatha izinto kuwe, ngaphandle kwemvume yakho.
Ukuba awuqapheli nantoni na, ungakhathazeki - ayizizo zonke ubuhlobo obunetyhefu obubandakanya ubusela ukuze ungacingi ukuba eyakho iyenza.
Oko kwathethi, ukuba kuyenzeka, ngokucacileyo unombandela omkhulu osesandleni. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngobuqhophololo bathatha izinto kwaye bacinge ukuba awuqapheli. Amabhithi amancinci anokulahleka kwikhaya lakho.
Kungenzeka ukuba bathatha izinto kuwe, kodwa baphantse bakwenze ukuba 'ubanike' njengesipho ukuze sivele kuwe endaweni yabo.
Oku kunokuba ngokwenza amagqabantshintshi afana nokuthi, 'oh, ndinqwenela ukuba nento enje,' enokukwenza uzive unetyala
Kusenokwenzeka, 'unencasa emnandi, ndiyayithanda loo nto,' ekwenza ukuba ufune ukubakholisa ukuze bafumane indumiso engakumbi kwaye ubanike into entle ukuze ufumane olunye uncomo kubo
Isenokuba ngamagqabantshintshi angenantlonelo afana nokuthi, 'awufanelanga ncam ukumila komzimba wakho, kodwa ingabonakala intle kum,' eyilelwe ukukwenza uzive ungathandeki kwaye ungafanelekanga ukugcina into entle.
Nokuba yeyiphi na, umhlobo olungileyo akufuneki athathe izinto kuwe ngaphandle kokuba uvakalelo luyi-100% lusuka kuwe.
9. Awufumani mbulelo.
Ngaba ukhe uzive ngathi nguwe ozibeka phaya, kodwa ayikaze yamkelwe?
Lo ngumxholo oqhelekileyo ngokwenene kubuhlobo obunobungozi obuninzi kwaye yinto enye ukuzama ukuba uqaphele ngokukhawuleza.
Sonke siyathanda ukwenza izinto ukunceda abantu esibathandayo- sifuna ukwenza ubomi babo bube lula kwaye sonwabe, kwaye sikwafuna ukuziva njengabantu abalungileyo.
Konke oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye isempilweni, njengoko kulindelwe okanye ngumnqweno wokufumana umbulelo ngako.
Nokuba kukhawulezisa 'ukubulela' ngokubathengela ikofu okanye ukuwolana okukhulu kunye nokubhiyozela xa ubanceda ukuba bahambise indlu, kumnandi ukuziva uxabisekile kwimigudu esiya kuyo kubahlobo bethu.
Ke, ayothusi into yokuba siziva inkunkuma intle xa sisenza zonke ezi zinto zintle kwaye singafumani mbulelo!
Asitsho ukuba kufuneka ubuphelise ubuhlobo kwangoko, kodwa kufanelekile ukucinga ngendlela oku kukwenza uzive ngayo nokuba izakutshintsha na ukuya phambili- kwaye ukuba unokuhlala kolu hlobo lobuhlobo ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Thetha nomhlobo wakho! Kunokubakho inkcazo esengqiqweni…
… Bangasokola ukuthi enkosi kuba banemicimbi yokwamkela uncedo kwaye bazive bebuthathaka, kwaye ke abafuni ukuvuma ukuba bayakudinga.
… Bangaziva behlazekile ukubulela kuwe kuba bengafuni ukuba uzive njengenkosana yabo.
… Basenokungafuni ukukubulela ngenxa yokuba bengazithembanga kwaphela malunga nokuba ba umhlobo olungileyo kuwe kwaye baziva kabuhlungu ukuba abanakukunceda kangangoko ubanceda.
Okanye, kusenokwenzeka ukuba abasiboni isidingo sokubulela kwaye balindele nje ukuba uncede ngaphandle kokufumana nantoni na, nokuba 'enkosi,' njengembuyekezo.
Ukuba yeyokugqibela, kufuneka uyithathele ingqalelo into oyifumanayo koku kwaye ungaba kude kangakanani kubuhlobo obunamacala amabini.
10. Awunako ukuthembela kubo.
Enye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo kubuhlobo kukuthembela nokuthembela.
Sonke sifuna umhlobo owenza into abathi baya kuyenza kwaye unamathele kuwe.
Bafumene umva wakho kwiimeko ezikhohlisayo kwaye baya kukukhusela kude kube sekufeni kwabo. Kuyadrama, ngokuqinisekileyo, kodwa olu luphawu olukhulu kubuntu lokujonga kumhlobo!
Ukuba ubuhlobo bakho buziva ngathi buyasilela koku, lixesha lokuba ubuze ukuba kutheni.
Mhlawumbi abakuxhasi xa omnye umntu ekugxeka okanye ekwenza uzive ungonwabanga.
Mhlawumbi abacingi ukuba uyakwazi imiceli mngeni ozibekele yona.
Nokuba yeyiphi na, inokuba iyacaphukisa kwaye ikushiye uzive uthobekile mhlawumbi ungcatshiwe okanye ulahlwe.
Umhlobo wakho kufuneka abenomqolo kwaye akwenze uzive uzithembile kwaye ukhululekile.
Ubuhlobo obuhle busekwe kukuthenjwa kunye nozinzo kwaye akufuneki uchithe ixesha nomntu okwenza ukuba uqikelele ukuzibophelela kwabo kuwe.
Ungakubeka njani ngokuLungileyo ubudlelwane obuDibeneyo
Ukuba uziva ungaqinisekanga malunga nokuba ungakanani umntu okhoyo kuwe, unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo ngundoqo.
Khetha kwindawo ethile ongathathi hlangothi kuyo.
Ikhefi inokuba ntle njengoko kukho abanye abantu abakufutshane, kwaye nobabini niya kufuna ukuyibamba ngokudibeneyo. Ukuba nabantu kufutshane kwenza ukuba omnye wenu akhwaze okanye alile kancinci!
Unako kwakhona ukuphuma nangaliphi na ixesha olifunayo xa uziva ngathi iyanda kakhulu.
Ukuba ukhululekile kuyo, ungabacela kwindawo yakho ukuba bathethe. Uzibeka kwindawo yamandla apha njengokuba usekhaya-kwi-turf kwaye ikakhulu ulawula imeko.
Musa ukuya kwingxabano.
Amathuba kukuba, uziva unemvakalelo. Naluphi na uhlobo lolwalamano olwenza uzive usengozini, ukungazithembi, okanye ukungazithembi luya kuphazamiseka, kwaye luyoyikeka xa lubangelwa ngumntu kufanele ndikukhathalele kakhulu!
Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuba uhlale uzolile kwaye unamathele kumabinzana afana nala:
Oku kwenzeke izihlandlo ezimbalwa kwaye kundenza ndizive ndineentloni phambi kwabahlobo bethu. ”
“Ndingathanda ukuba ubungekwenzi… njengokuba indenza ndizive…”
Zama ukunqanda ukubagxeka, kodwa, ngokulinganayo, yenze icace into yokuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ngamanye amaxesha iyakukhathaza.
Chaza ukuba kutheni uziva ngale ndlela kwaye banokukunceda njani uzive ukhuseleke ngakumbi kubuhlobo bakho.
Umhlobo olungileyo uya kuba neentloni ukufumanisa ukuba abenzi ngokwaneleyo kwaye uza kujonga iindlela onokomeleza ngazo ubudlelwane bakho.
Sicinga ukuba unokuthelekelela into eza kwenziwa ngumhlobo onetyhefu…
Ukwazi ukuba ubushiye nini ubuhlobo obukwicala elinye
Ke, ngoku uyazi ukuba ungaluchonga njani uhlobo lobuhlobo okulo, kodwa ungakuphepha njani ukwenza into enye kwakhona?
Sebenzisa amava akho kwinzuzo yakho.
Jonga iiflegi ezibomvu kwangethuba - ngaba bakurhoxisile amatyeli aliqela kule nyanga, bakwenzile ukuba uzive uneentloni ngawe ngaphandle kwesizathu, kwaye ngaba bathethe bodwa ngabo izihlandlo ezimbalwa zokugqibela oxhonywe kuzo?
Ukwazi ezi ndlela zokuziphatha kuya kukunceda ufunde ngakumbi ngalo mntu, kunye nohlobo lobuhlobo onokulindela.
Thembeka kwisiqu sakho- ungamthanda lo mhlobo kwaye ubakhathalele ngokunyanisekileyo, kwaye ungonwaba kakhulu nabo… ukuba bakwimeko entle!
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uthetha izinto ezinje, uyazi ukuba ayibobuhlobo bulungileyo. Akufanele kube mnandi kuphela ukuxhoma kunye nabo xa bekwifom!
Cinga ngokulinganisela kweemvakalelo zakho, kwaye usebenze ukuba uziva wonwabile okanye ungcono xa uchitha ixesha nabo.
Ukuba ubukhulu becala inkunkuma kwaye iyabhideka ngeentsuku ezimbalwa ezilungileyo rhoqo, unokuba ngcono ekupheliseni ubuhlobo kwaye uqhubeke.
Zikhumbuze ukuba awunguye umntu ombi ngokuhamba ushiye into engasebenziyo kuwe.
Oko kubizwa ngokuba kukuzihlonipha.
Kunzima kakhulu ngamanye amaxesha ukuthi ndlelantle kumhlobo wakho omthandayo, ngakumbi ukuba nibe ngabahlobo ixesha elide.
Uphantse uzive ngathi nguwe umhlobo ombi wokuphelisa izinto!
Kubuhlungu kwaye kuya kuziva ngathi kukuqhekeka kobudlelwane, okuqhelekile ngokupheleleyo.
Zinike ixesha lokuba ube buhlungu ngobuhlobo kwaye wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ucinge ngezinto eziyinyani.
Kulungile ukuba ujonge emva kwaye ukhumbule amaxesha amyoli, kwaye kuyathandeka ukuba nakho ukuba neenkumbulo ezimnandi, ungaziqinisekisi nje ukuba yayigqibelele kwaye kufuneka ubuyele kuyo.
Njengokuphuma kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane, uya kudlula kwinqanaba apho ucinga ukuba kufanelekile ukunyamezela amaxesha amabi kuba makhulu kwaye uyabathanda kakhulu.
Yiba ngumhlobo ongcono ngokwakho ngokwala ukulungisa into ekwenza uzive ungafanelekanga kunokuba uzazi.
Lixesha lokuba uzikhathalele, uzithande, kwaye uzibeke phambili!
