Ungquzulwano yinxalenye yamava omntu…
Yindlela esiziphatha ngayo ezo ngxabano zingenakuphepheka ezisinceda ukuba sizichaze ukuba singobani kunye nolwalamano lwethu nabanye.
Kukho iindlela ezisempilweni nezingenampilo zokuphatha umdlalo weqonga, ungquzulwano, kunye neengxaki ezivela ebomini.
Abantu abangenazo iindlela zokulwa impilo esempilweni okanye abanakho ukubandakanyeka kungquzulwano kunokwenzeka ukuba baphulukane nesiphumo sempilo yexesha elide, uxinzelelo kunye nolwalamano oluphithizelayo.
Ngo-1968, uGqr.Stephen Karpman wenza i-Karpman Drama Triangle ukwenza imodeli yokunxibelelana kwezentlalo okunokwenzeka kwimpixano egqithileyo neyonakalisayo phakathi kwabantu. Ukwahlula 'kokugqithisileyo, ukutshabalalisa' kubalulekile.
UGqr. Karpman ukhethe “unxantathu womdlalo weqonga” ngaphezulu ko 'nxantathu ongquzulwano' kuba umfuziselo wawungacetyelwanga ukuba uchaze ixhoba lokoqobo.
Endaweni yokuba yenzelwe ukuba imodeli yokuziphatha komntu oziva okanye oziqonda ukuba ulixhoba.
I-Karpman Drama Triangle ayenzelwanga ukuba ibandakanye ukungavisisani okusempilweni okanye iimpikiswano, kuphela kukuziphatha okugqithileyo, okonakalisayo okuyingozi kubathathi-nxaxheba.
Unxantathu weKarpman ubunjwe ngamanqaku amathathu nabadlali abathathu abachaphazelekayo: Umtshutshisi, ixhoba, kunye noMhlanguli.
Umtshutshisi
Umtshutshisi ngumntu okholelwa ukuba ngongendawo.
Lo mntu unokubonwa ngathi ubeka ityala kwiXhoba. Banokuba nomsindo kwaye bacinezele, ukulawula , ngqongqo, ngokugxeka ngokugqithisileyo, ngethemba, okanye ngqongqo.
Banokubaluleka, bazive bengaphezulu kweXhoba, okanye basebenze ukwenza amaXhoba azive ngathi baphantsi koMtshutshisi.
Iinjongo zabo zinokuthi okanye zingacaci. Inokuba lula njengokuthatha ithuba lokusebenzisa omnye umntu okanye ingangumbandela onzulu emsebenzini.
Ixhoba
Ixhoba lizibona lingenathemba kwaye lingenakunceda, liphelelwe ngamandla okwenza naluphi na utshintsho olunokubakho ngokwabo.
Bazisongela ngokuzisizela kwaye bayala nayiphi na imizamo yokunceda ukuziphakamisa okanye ukwenza izigqibo. Bahlala bebaleka iingxaki zabo endaweni yokukhangela iindlela zokuzilungisa.
Bangaziva beneentloni kwaye bengenamandla, beqinisekile ukuba abanandlela okanye amandla okusombulula iingxaki zabo, ngelixa kwangaxeshanye bengenzi kwanto ukuzama nokuzama.
Ixhoba elingatshutshiswayo okwangoku linokufuna uMtshutshisi kunye noMhlanguli ukuze baqhubeke nomjikelo wabo wokuzisizela.
UMhlanguli
UMhlanguli akangomntu ulungileyo okanye ubekekileyo kwi-Karpman Triangle. UMhlanguli yi yenza ukuba.
Banikezela umbono wokufuna ukunceda ngokugcina ixhoba kukhetho lwabo olubi okanye ukungasebenzi.
Oku kuhlala kuyindlela yokuzikhusela ebavumela ukuba baphephe ezabo iingxaki ngelixa beqinisekile ukuba benza inkqubela phambili ngokugcina ixhoba kuMtshutshisi.
Banokuba bengxamele ikhredithi yentlalo ngokuba nguMhlanguli kunye nomncedisi. Oku kufihliwe njengenkxalabo kwintlalo-ntle yeXhoba, kodwa kuyenza ukuba baziphathe kakuhle, njengoko inika ixhoba imvume yokusilela kwaye isilele ukubenza baphendule kukhetho lwabo kunye nobomi.
Unxantathu weKarpman ngokuSebenza
Ayizizo zonke iimbambano eziza kubangela ukuyilwa kweDrama Triangle, kodwa unxantathu unokukhula xa umntu engena kwindima yeXhoba okanye uMtshutshisi.
Ixhoba okanye uMtshutshisi uya kuthi ke azame ukutsala abanye abantu kungquzulwano. Ukuba ngumtshutshisi, baya kujonga ixhoba. Ukuba liXhoba, banokujonga uMtshutshisi (ukuba akekho) kunye noMhlanguli.
Ezi ndima azimanga kwaye ziya kutshintsha kulo lonke ixesha lomdlalo weqonga.
Akuqhelekanga ukuba ixhoba livule uMhlanguli, ovumela ukuba ixhoba libone uMhlanguli njengomnye uMtshutshisi kwaye aqhubeke nomjikelo wabo wokuzenzakalisa.
Abathathi-nxaxheba abohlukeneyo bahlala bejikeleza ukusuka kwindima ukuya kwindima, nangona umntu ngamnye eza kuba nendima ephambili abahlala befumana kuyo.
UGqr. Karpman wayekholelwa kwelokuba le ndima yenziwa ekukhuleni kwabantwana abasebatsha ngaphakathi kwentsapho enamandla.
Umntu ngamnye kwiDrama Triangle ufumana ulwaneliseko olungenampilo kunxibelelwano lwabo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuxhomekeka inokudlala indima phakathi koMhlanguli neXhoba.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ungayinqanda njani iDrama kwaye uyiyeke ekuchitheni uBomi bakho
- Indlela yokunceda abanye ngexesha labo lokuswela
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokuba ulunge kakhulu ziya kuphelela kuwe
- Imizekelo eli-9 yokuziPhatha kwaBantu abaDala
Ukwahlukana neNxantathu yeDrama
Umntu angakhululeka kumjikelo weDrama Triangle ngokuqonda ukuba bayazibandakanya, yeyiphi indima abangena kuyo, kutheni bethatha inxaxheba, kwaye ngawaphi amanyathelo abanokuwathatha ukutshintsha imbono kunye nezenzo zabo kulo mandla.
Ayizizo zonke iingxabano eziyingozi nezingenampilo. Abantu bazakuba nokungaboni ngasonye, baphikisane, badinga uncedo, kwaye bafuna ukuba ngumncedi kumaxesha ngamaxesha.
Iingxaki zivela xa ezi zinto zisenziwa kwinqanaba elingenampilo okanye elonakalisayo.
Ngaba uzifumana ubandakanyeka kwidrama rhoqo? Cinga ungquzulwano obukhe wabandakanyeka kulo nabanye abantu okanye iimeko zobomi.
Kukho amaxesha apho uMtshutshisi eneneni eyimeko yangaphandle kunokuba abe ngumntu.
Njengomzekelo, umntu unokuphulukana nomsebenzi wakhe, nangasiphi na isizathu, kwaye angene kwindima yeXhoba ngokungathi indalo ilungelelane ngokuchasene naye, azinike imvume yokuzingca.
Basenokugxeka umphathi wabo ngokugxothwa xa yayizimpazamo zabo ezakhokelela ekubeni bagxothwe.
NjengoMtshutshisi
Umtshutshisi, njengomntu, uhlala ejonge kuye ukubeka ityala kuye nabani na nayo yonke into ngaphandle kwabo ngamashwa abo neengxaki zabo.
Kufika ixesha apho umntu kufuneka ayeke kwaye azibuze ukuba ngaba, hayi, sisizathu sokusilela kwabo kunye namashwa.
Kuya kufuneka bayeke ukukhangela omnye umntu abanokumsola ngokungonwabi kwabo, ilishwa, okanye iingxaki kwaye bajonge iindlela ezisempilweni zokuhlangabezana noxinzelelo lwabo.
NjengoMhlanguli
UMhlanguli uhlala ejonge ukusindisa abanye abantu ngexabiso lempilo yabo yengqondo kunye nentlalo-ntle yabo.
Banokuziva ngathi yonke into izokungahambi kakuhle ukuba ngandlela ithile ababandakanyekanga, bayityeshele into yokuba izinto ziya kuhamba phambili okanye ngaphandle kwazo.
UMhlanguli angancama lukhulu, ukuya kuthi ga apho kubangela ukwenzakala okanye iingxaki ebomini babo, ukuzama ukusindisa ixhoba kubo.
Umntu ozifumana ekwindima yoMhlanguli uhlala efuna ukuphonononga ukwakhiwa kwemida esempilweni kwaye afunde ukuba abanako ukusindisa umhlaba, kwaye ukuzibulala ngokwakho ayisiyonto ilungileyo.
NjengeXhoba
Amaxhoba ayachuma xa eziva ngokungathi akanakulawula ebomini. Bayaphumelela kwiimvakalelo ngokungathi abaphantsi kolawulo ngokupheleleyo, ukuba izinto zivele zenzeke kubo ngaphandle kwazo naziphi na iintshukumo abazithathayo.
Ewe akhona amaxesha apho ubomi buza kujongana nesandla esibi kwaye kufuneka sive ubunzima ngenxa yoko kuza kuthi.
Kodwa, rhoqo kunangoku, kukho izinto esinokuzithatha ukunciphisa ukubetha, ukuthatha uxanduva lobomi bethu kunye nolonwabo, kwaye siqhubeke nokwakha uhlobo lobomi esilifunayo.
Utshintsho kwiDynamic Empowerment (TED)
Ngo-2009, uDavid Emerald wakhupha incwadi enesihloko esithi, 'Amandla eTED * (* Amandla okuXhobisa).'
Incwadi ye-Emerald ifuna ukuxhobisa abantu ukuba babaleke lomjikelo wempixano engentle ngokutshintsha indima nganye iye kwicala elilungileyo ngakumbi ngezimvo ezisempilweni kunye nokuziphatha okuncamathiselwe kuyo.
Ixhoba litshintshela kuMdali, uMtshutshisi utshintshela kuMceli mngeni, uMhlanguli utshintshela kuMqeqeshi.
Ukusuka kwiXhoba ukuya kuMdali
Utshintsho oluvela kwiXhoba luye kuMdali luxhomekeke kwiimpawu ezimbini eziphambili.
1. UMdali kufuneka akwazi ukuphendula umbuzo othi, 'Ndifuna ntoni?' kunye nokuphucula amandla abo okufumana indlela eya kwiinjongo zabo eziphambili.
Utshintsho kumbono uvumela uMdali ukuba atshintshe kwingqondo yokuhlala kwingxaki kwaye ibachaphazela njani kwindima yokuxhobisa ngokuba sisisombululo esisekwe kwisisombululo.
Ukugxila kwisiphumo kunika amandla ukubuyela kuMdali, ebavumela ukuba bafumane unyawo lwabo kwaye benze inkqubela ngokuchasene neengxaki zabo.
2. UMdali kufuneka afunde ukukhetha indlela yokusabela kwiingxaki abaziphoselwa bubomi.
Wonke umntu uza kujongana nobunzima obuqala kokuncinci ukuya kabuhlungu. Ekuphela kwento esinokuyilawula ngokwenyani yindlela esikhetha ukusabela ngayo kubo.
Ngoku ayisiyonto yokujongela phantsi nabani na olixhoba okanye osindileyo kwimeko ebuhlungu. Injongo kukungaweli kumgibe woba liXhoba, apho umntu azibambise kumjikelo ombi wokungabi nathemba nokungabi nathemba.
Ubundlobongela yingqondo yoyeha oqhubekayo njengam, engafaniyo nomntu owonzakaliswe ngomnye umntu okanye yimeko ethile.
Ukusuka kuMtshutshisi ukuya ku-Mngeni
Umceli mngeni ngumntu okanye yimeko anyanzelisa uMdali. Isenokungabi ngumntu. Isenokuba yingxaki yezempilo okanye imeko engaphandle ebangela ukuba izinyanzele kuMdali ngaphandle kokukhetha.
Njengomntu, uMceli mngeni kunokuba yimpembelelo embi okanye elungileyo. Umahluko uza kubakho kwiinkuthazo zoMceli-mngeni.
Umntu ongathandekiyo kwindima yoMceli mngeni unokufuna ukugcina kunye nokumisela ulawulo kuMdali.
Bahlala besenza oko ngenxa yezizathu zokuzingca, ukunqanda ukuba lixhoba ngokwabo, okanye kuba behambisa ezabo iingxaki kuMdali.
Umntu oqinisekileyo kwindima yoMceli mngeni anganceda ukudala amathuba amatsha kunye nokukhuthaza ukukhula kuMdali ngokubacela umngeni ngeendlela ezingonakalisiyo.
Umntu onolwazelelo kwindima yeChallenger unokunika inkuthazo enentsingiselo eya kukhuthaza uMdali kwiindawo eziphakamileyo.
Ukusuka kuMhlanguli ukuya kuMqeqeshi
Umahluko phakathi koMhlanguli kunye noMqeqeshi kubudlelwane babo neXhoba okanye uMdali.
iqala nini i-ronda rousey elandelayo ye-ufc
Umqeqeshi uyaqonda ukuba abanamandla okwenyani okulungisa nabani na ngaphandle kwabo. Bazoba imida esempilweni, banokunika inkuthazo kunye nesikhokelo, kodwa abazami ukuthwala ubunzima beemvakalelo zamadabi oMdali.
Bazakugcina imida esempilweni kwaye bangazivumeli ukuba babandakanyeke kwimbambano eqhubeka phakathi koMdali noMceli mngeni.
Ukwenza iinguqu eziqinisekileyo kubudlelwane bakho
Isakhono sokubanakho kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nabanye abantu similiselwe ekuziqondeni.
Umntu kufuneka aqonde ukuba kutheni besenza izinto abazenzayo, kutheni beziva izinto abazivayo, ukuba banethemba lokuvula amandla abo kwaye bakhule njengabantu.
Uninzi lomntu wonke lufuna ubomi obonwabisayo noxolo. Ukuze ube nobomi obonwabileyo noxolo, umntu kufuneka akwazi ukuba neengxabano ezisempilweni kunye nezigqibo.
Wonke umntu uya kuba namava- kwaye wonke umntu unokuphucula amandla abo okuzibandakanya nehlabathi kunye nokufezekisa iinjongo zabo.
Ukwamkela umnqweno wokuzilungisa kunye nokufaka umsebenzi wokuziphucula kusikhokelela kulonwabo lwethu noxolo lwengqondo.
