Umona unokuba yinto ekhohlisayo kubudlelwane. Isuntswana layo linokuvuselela uthando lwenu omnye komnye, kodwa okuninzi kunokukusahlula.
Sisoloko siyidibanisa nolwalamano olutsha, kodwa nokuba utshatile, umona awunyamalali nje kwaphela.
Umona uhlala unxulunyaniswa Imiba yokuthemba kwaye iyinto ethi nina nobabini Kuya kufuneka usebenze ukuze ungene phantsi kolawulo ukuze ube nekamva eliqaqambileyo nelichumayo.
Xa umona uphuma esandleni, awunokubangela kuphela iimpikiswano ezishushu, unokuphelisa ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye uchaphazele impilo yakho yengqondo.
Nokuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukuphatha iqabane elinomona okanye likhwele lakho eliya likwenza ngcono, zama ukufumana iindlela zokulwa kunye ukuze ubuyise ulawulo ngaphambi kokuba iintanda ziqale ukwanda kulwalamano lwakho.
Funda ezinye zeengcebiso zokujongana nomona emtshatweni wakho.
Indlela yokujongana neqabane elinomona
Ukuba yindoda okanye umfazi wakho onomona, zama ukusondela kule meko usebenzisa la macebiso alandelayo.
1. Baphulaphule.
Ukuba uziva uhlaselwa liqabane lakho ngenxa yomona, kunokuba nzima ukungasabeli kwaye uzikhusele. Nokuba zabo izityholo zibubuxoki , ukungahoyi akuyi kuwenza umcimbi uhambe.
Umona uvela kwindawo yokoyika kunye nokuswela ukuzixabisa, kwaye ngokumamela iqabane lakho kwaye ubakhuthaze ukuba bathethe ngeemvakalelo zabo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane eyona nto iphambili kulo mba.
Nokuba uyavumelana neemvakalelo zeqabane lakho, iimvakalelo zabo ziyasebenza ukuya kwinqanaba elithile, kwaye kuya kufuneka unike omnye nomnye imbeko yokumanyelwa.
Babonise ukuba uyabakhathalela kwaye uzithathela ingqalelo iimvakalelo zabo kwaye ufuna ukukwenza oku kunye.
Ukuthetha ngento ecaphukise indlela abasabela ngayo kunye namava adlulileyo apho ezi mvakalelo zokungazithembi zivela khona ziya kuninika ukuqonda okungcono ngemeko. Ngolu lwazi unokuphepha ngcono izinto ezinokubangela kwaye uthintele imeko efanayo kwixa elizayo.
2. Fikelela kwingcambu yayo.
Umona uhlala ulandelwa kumava abuhlungu kwixesha elidlulileyo lomntu kwaye ube yindlela yokuzikhusela ukuzama ukuzikhusela ekubeni kwimeko efanayo enzima kwakhona.
Umlingane wakho usenokuba waqhathwa kubudlelwane obudlulileyo, ebangela ukuba bangene kwisigqibo esibi malunga nokunyaniseka kwakho.
Xa izinto zizolile kwaye zinobuhlobo phakathi kwakho (okt hayi ngexesha lokugqabhuka komona), thatha ithuba lokuthetha neqabane lakho malunga nokuba umona ubusoloko ungumxholo kubudlelwane babo kwaye ubone ukuba unokunxulunyaniswa ubuyele nakusiphi na isiganeko esinye.
Ngokujonga emva ukufumana ingcambu yengxaki, unokuqonda ukuba iimpendulo zeqabane lakho azinanto yokwenza nolwalamano lwakho kwaye ngaphezulu ukwenza ngentlungu edlulileyo abangazange babuye bayifumane.
Ngolu lwazi, wena neqabane lakho ngoku niza kuba nendawo yokuqala eniza kusebenza xa nijongana nemicimbi yabo ngomona. Nobabini ngoku niyakuqonda ngcono ukuba yintoni ebangela umona wabo kunye nokukwazi uku-pre-empt iimeko apho iqabane lakho linokubangelwa.
3. Musa ukubanika isizathu sokuba nomona.
Kuvakala kulula, kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho linomona ngokulula, musa ukuyenza mandundu imeko.
Awuyi kuyifumana ngokuchanekileyo ngalo lonke ixesha, kodwa uqiniseke ukuba ubeka lo mzamo ungaphaya ekuqinisekiseni ukuzibophelela kwakho kunokwenza wonke umahluko kwindlela abazive bekhuseleke ngayo kunye nawe.
yonke into endiyenzayo iyamcaphukisa umyeni wam
Jonga nabo ukuba uyaphuma ebusuku ngaphandle kwabo, qiniseka ukuba bayazi ukuba awungekhe ulinde ukubona xa usekhaya. Izenzo ezincinci ezinje ngale ziyanceda ukunqanda iqabane lakho ukuba lingazicingeli kakhulu kwaye lixhume liye kwizigqibo ezibi kakhulu xa bengevanga kuwe.
Kungabonakala ngathi uyabakhuthaza kakhulu ekuqaleni, kodwa okukhona beziva bekhululekile, kokukhona baya kubathemba ngakumbi ukunyaniseka kwakho, kwaye nesidingo esincinci apho kuya kubakho ukubaqinisekisa.
4. Musa ukuvumela izinto zinyuke.
Izityholo zabo zisenokungabi nabulungisa kwaphela kwaye uzakuva uhlaselwa kwaye uzikhusela, kodwa ukubadibanisa ngomsindo kuya kuyenza mandundu imeko.
Ibron james indawo jam izihlangu
Ukuzikhusela ayisiyiyo le nto iqabane lakho lifuna ukuyiva xa sele bezifumene bekwimeko yeemvakalelo becinga ukuba ubungathembekanga. Ukuba kwinqanaba lokukutyhola, nantoni na oyithethayo ukuyiphikisa iya kuyenza mandundu kwaye baya kuyibona njengokuba ukhusela izenzo zakho.
Akukho namnye owakhe waphumelela umlo, kuhlala imeko yokulahleka apho bobabini benzakala.
Ukuba iingxabano ziyaqala ukwenyuka kwaye zishushu, thatha ithuba lokubaxelela ngokuzolileyo ukuba ubakhathalele kwaye uyaziqonda iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukuba imeko isazolile kwaye iqabane lakho alifuni kumamela, bacebise ukuba nobabini niziphe ixesha lokuzola phambi kokuba nibuye nithethe ngento ebacaphukisileyo.
Awulwi nomlilo ngomlilo, ke qiniseka ukuba uyayipholisa imeko ngaphambi kokuba usebenze ukuyisombulula.
5. Yiba nomonde.
Izinto azizukutshintsha ngobusuku. Ukuba iqabane lakho lingumntu onekhwele ngokwendalo, le yindlela yokuziphatha eyendeleyo eya kuthatha ixesha ukuyitshintsha.
Nobabini nisazokufumana izinto ezingalunganga kwaye umona uya kuqhubeka ukubakhona emtshatweni wenu nokuba nivumile ukusebenzela ukuwoyisa. Ingakanani ingxaki eniyivumela ukuba ibe yinto ebalulekileyo.
Yiba nomonde kwiqabane lakho kwaye uqaphele ukuba utshintsho luyenziwa, hayi ukuba lukhulu kangakanani olo tshintsho.
Beka amanyathelo anemveliso ukuze usebenze kunye, mhlawumbi ukhetha ukwenza njalo bonisanani ngakumbi Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye, okanye ukwenza iinzame zonxibelelwano.
Yigophe lokufunda ukuba nobabini niyakudlula kwaye ayiyonto enokulungiswa kwangoko. Ngoko ke yiba nomonde, uqaphele iindawo eziqala ukuba ngcono, kwaye ubhiyozele ukuba umde kangakanani, hayi ukuba uza kude kangakanani.
6. Cebisa unyango.
Ngangoko ufuna ukunceda iqabane lakho kwaye nizame ukufumana isisombululo phakathi kwenu, ngamanye amaxesha isimilo esifana nesikhwele esiqatha simiselwe nzulu kakhulu ukuba omnye wenu akwazi ukuzilawula yedwa.
Akukho mntu unencwadana yemiyalelo emtshatweni kwaye asiqeqeshelwanga ukujongana neengxaki ezivelayo sinokwenza konke okusemandleni ethu.
Ukuba iqabane lakho lisokola ngokwenene ukufumana umona phantsi kolawulo kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni malunga nalo, cebisa ukuba babone i-Therapist, okanye ukuba uye kwizibini ezitshatileyo kunye (siyacebisa i-Relationship Hero ngokufumana iingcebiso kwi-Intanethi).
Iingcali zonyango ziqeqeshelwe iimeko ezinje ngezi. Bayayazi imibuzo efanelekileyo ukuba mabayibuze kunye nendlela yokumisa iingxoxo eziqhubela ekubeni yingxabano. Banokukunika isikhokelo sendlela yokujongana neemeko ezinzima xa umona esiba ngumcimbi kwaye uyeke ungekabi mbi.
Ukufuna uncedo akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukuphatha ubudlelwane bakho kubonisa ukuzibophelela ekwenzeni izinto zisebenze kwaye uziphucule. Musa ukuba neentloni ekuceleni uncedo okanye uvumele ikratshi okanye iintloni zime endleleni yekamva elonwabisayo.
Ungangabi Njani Umlingane Onomona
Ukuba ngumona wakho ome phakathi kwakho kunye nomtshato owonwabileyo nosempilweni owufunayo, zama ukuthatha ezinye zale ngcebiso ebhodini kwaye usebenze kwingqondo engengomona.
1. Vuma ukuba unomona.
Ukuvuma kunye nokuvuma ukuba unomona linyathelo lokuqala lokuthintela imeko ukuba ingaphumi kulawulo lwakho.
Ukuzikhanyela kucebisa ukuba awunxibelelani neemvakalelo zakho okanye unyaniseke ngokwenene kuwe. Ukuba awukwazi ukunyaniseka nesiqu sakho malunga nokuba ngowuphi na umcimbi, awuyi kuba nakho ukuhamba ngokupheleleyo kuwo.
Zama ukunqanda ukuvumela iimvakalelo ukuba zikongamele kwaye uphume njengohlaselo lomlomo kwiqabane lakho. Endaweni yoko, zama ukuchaza indlela oziva ngayo ukuze wena neqabane lakho niyiqonde kwaye niyilungise ingxaki.
Thatha ubunini beemvakalelo zakho. Ukuba uqhubeka ukhetha iqabane lakho okanye uzama ukubeka ityala kubo ngendlela oziva ngayo, nobabini niyakugqiba nizikhusele kwaye akukho nto iya kusonjululwa. Ukwala ukwamkela inxaxheba yakho kwingxaki kuya kukuqhubela phambili ukwahlukana.
Ukuziqonda kwaye uvuleke malunga neemvakalelo zakho linyathelo lokuqala nelona libalulekileyo ekupheliseni ubudlelwane bakho bokungathembani kunye nokungakhathali kwaye usiya kumtshato osempilweni nolonwabo.
2. Cinga ngomona wakho kunye nokuziphatha kwakho.
Siyakhawuleza ukubeka ityala kwabanye xa sikhathazekile, kodwa ukuba umona wakho uyingxaki eqhubekayo phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, ngaba ukhe wazipha ixesha lokucinga ukuba yeyona nto ikukhuphayo 'kunabo' ?
Asitsho ukuba iqabane lakho alidlali kuyo, kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba abakuniki imbeko ekufaneleyo kwaye bacaphukisa impendulo kuwe.
Kodwa ukuba umona ubuyinxalenye esisigxina kubudlelwane bakho bangaphambili nabangoku, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uchitha umtshato wakho ngenxa yoloyiko lwakho lwangaphakathi.
Thatha ixesha lokucinga malunga nokuba umona wakho wawuqala nini - ngaba kwakusemva kokuba umntu ekukhohlisile okanye wakudanisa? Ngaba ukuzithemba kwakho kuthathe indawo kwaye ufumene kunzima ukuthembela ebantwini ukusukela oko?
Ukuzibonakalisa kuya kukunceda uqhagamshele kunye neengcinga zakho zangaphakathi kunye neemvakalelo kwaye uqonde iipateni zakho zokuziphatha ngokucacileyo.
Cinga malunga nokuba ungazitsibela ngokuzenzekelayo kwizigqibo ezibi malunga neqabane lakho, okanye wenze iimeko entlokweni yakho ungakhange uve kubo kuqala. Unokuseta iqabane lakho ukuba lisilele ngaphandle kokuba ube nabungqina bokwenyani bokuba kukho isizathu sokuba ube nexhala okanye umona.
Ukuthetha nelungu losapho elithembakeleyo okanye umhlobo, okanye ingcali, inokukunceda ubumbe kwaye uthethe ezi ngcinga kwaye uziqonde ngcono.
Ukufunda ukuziphilisa nokuzithanda kwakhona kunokuba lutshintsho olufanelekileyo ekufuneka ulilungisile kumona wakho ngaphakathi.
3. Xoxa ngezizathu zakho.
Umona awuphumi nje, kwaye abantu bathambekele ekuphenduleni kwizinto ezithile ezibangela iimvakalelo ngakumbi kunabanye.
Ukusebenza ukuba zeziphi ezo zinto zibangela, nokuba liqabane lakho elingakuthumeli imiyalezo ngelixa likobusuku, okanye lingakuhlawuli ngokwaneleyo xa ukunye nabanye abantu, kunokukunceda ujongane neemvakalelo zakho ngaphambi kokuba ziphume kulawulo.
Ukuthetha neqabane lakho malunga nezinto zakho ezibangela ukuba zivele kwaye zivela phi kunceda ubabonise ukuba uzimisele ekusebenzeni kubudlelwane bakho, kwaye linyathelo elinemveliso lokufumana isiphatho kumona wakho unobangela.
Xa uziva ngathi uyachukunyiswa, yazise kwaye usebenzise oku kuzazisa ukuze uthathe isigqibo malunga nendlela oza kuyiphendula. Zinike ixesha lokucinga malunga nokuba imeko ifanelekile na ukuba nomona ngaphezulu okanye kukuba yinto ebangela ukuba ube ngcono kuwe.
Kungekudala uza kuqala ukwazi ukwahlula into ebangela iimvakalelo ezivela kwingxaki yokwenyani emtshatweni wakho kwaye uzilungiselele ngcono ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho ukuya phambili.
4. Hlonipha imida yeqabane lakho.
Njengokuba ningabantu ababini kubudlelwane kunye, nisengabantu ababini abanelungelo elilinganayo kwimfihlo yabo.
wazi njani ukuba uthanda umntu
Kukho umahluko phakathi kwemfihlo nemfihlo, kwaye ukuhlonipha okokugqibela kubalulekile ekuvumela ukuthembana kukhule phakathi kwakho.
Oku kuthetha ukuba kufuneka kubekho imida ethile yokuqinisekisa ukuba ngamnye unika inqanaba labucala elifanele wena.
Ukujonga iifowuni, ii-imeyile, okanye imidiya yoluntu, ngakumbi ngaphandle kwemvume yeqabane lakho, kukuhlasela imfihlo yabo. Nje ukuba uwele loo mgca wophula ukuthembana phakathi kwakho ekunokuthi ngamanye amaxesha kube nzima ukubuya.
Ukuba ukrokrela iqabane lakho ukuba alithembekanga, thetha nabo. Sukuvumela iimvakalelo zakho ukuba zikongamele kwaye unikezele ekuthatheni imicimbi ezandleni zakho. Ukuba uyaphosisa, ungalahla ukuthembana kwakho kunye nolwalamano ngonaphakade.
5. Ukujikeleza okufutshane kwindlela oziphethe ngayo.
Ukuba nomona rhoqo kunokukhokelela kwimpikiswano okanye kwiimpikiswano neqabane lakho. Impikiswano ayisiyonto imbi kwaphela, kodwa inokuba mbi kwaye ibe buhlungu ukuba uyazivumela.
Ingxabano eyityhefu iba yinxalenye yobudlelwane bakho, kokukhona iyonakalisa, ide ibe yeyophulwe ngokulungileyo.
Kulula ukuphulukana nolawulo lweemvakalelo zakho, ngakumbi xa uziva unomona. Phambi kokuba ifikelele kwelo nqanaba, zama ukuzisusa kuloo meko.
Ngokuthatha umzuzwana ukuba uphefumle kwaye uzolise iimvakalelo zakho, uya kuba nakho ukucinga ngokucacileyo kwakhona kwaye usondele kule meko ngengqondo engcono. Uyazivumela ixesha lokuqhubekeka neengcinga zakho kwaye ungaphenduli nje kumona wakho.
Ngokuzinika loo mizuzu imbalwa, uya kuba nakho ukuchaza ngcono iimvakalelo zakho, ukunceda wena kunye neqabane lakho ukuba niqondane ngokucacileyo kwaye ufumane indlela yokusombulula imeko ngaphandle komlo omkhulu kwaye amazwi abuhlungu .
6. Funda ukuzithanda.
Umona unokuvela kukuswela ukuzithemba kunye noloyiko lokuba awulunganga ngokwaneleyo ngandlela thile kwaye iqabane lakho liza kukushiya liye komnye umntu.
Ngokufunda ukuzithanda, uya kuqala ukuzithemba ukuba ungaphezulu kokufanele uthando kunye nokuqwalaselwa liqabane lakho kwaye akukho sizathu sokuba bajonge kwenye indawo.
Qala ukusebenza ngokuzithanda ngokwakho kulungelelwaniso lwakho lwemihla ngemihla. Thatha imizuzu embalwa suku ngalunye uzenzele ‘ixesha,’ funda incwadi oyithandayo, uthathe ixesha ngaphezulu kwenkqubo yokhathalelo lolusu, uzonwabise ngento oyithandayo.
Nantoni na ekwenza uzive ulungile, qala ngokwenza ngaphezulu kwayo. Yitsho ngokuqinisekileyo yonke imihla ukuzikhumbuza ngazo zonke iimpawu zakho ezintle, kwaye uzame ukungazithelekisi nabanye.
Umdlalo we-wwe goldberg vs brock lesnar
Ukhethekile wena kwaye yinto ekufuneka ibhiyozelwe. Vumela ukuqaqamba ngokuqaqamba ngokuba ngowona fan wakho mkhulu kwaye uyayeka ukukhathazeka malunga nokuba wonke umntu ucinga ntoni.
Nje ukuba uzive ukhululekile kuwe, uya kubona kungekudala ukuba olu phawu luchaphazela njani ezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho, kubandakanya nomtshato wakho, kunye nekhwele liya kuba lincinci kakhulu lengxaki.
Ukuba ishiywe ingasonjululwanga, ikhwele linokonakalisa kakhulu lize liqhawule umtshato.
Ukuhlala nosoyikiso oluqhubekayo lokugqabhuka ngumona kuya kubeka uxinzelelo kuni nobabini kwaye kwenze kube nzima ukukhula ukuthembana nentlonipho omnye komnye.
Umtshato kukuzibophelela enikwenzayo omnye komnye ubomi bakho bonke kwaye lixesha elide lokuphila phantsi kobunzima obubangelwa ngumona.
Yinto efuna ukujongiswa kuni nobabini ukuba niphumle ngokupheleleyo kwaye nonwabele umtshato wenu kunye. Ukwamkela ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho ninobunzima ngomona linyathelo lokuqala lokoyisa.
Ayizukuba phantsi komnye wenu ukulungisa izinto nobabini kuyakufuneka nibeke ixesha kunye nomzamo wokusebenza. Ukuza kunye ukusebenza kwimiba yakho kuya kuqinisa ukuzibophelela kwakho komnye nomnye.
Ngenkxaso yomnye nomnye, ninokoyisa nantoni na kwaye nenze ulonwabo, ubudlelwane obuhlala ixesha elide nobabini nobabini.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ukuyeka umona wonakalise umtshato wakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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