Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabantu besini esahlukileyo bunokuba zizinto ezintle. Amadoda nabasetyhini abahlobo nje banokuba yimithombo emikhulu yenkxaso kunye nokuqonda.
Kodwa xa kufikwa kubudlelwane bezothando, ngamanye amaxesha banokuba yingxaki ukuba abaphathwa kakuhle.
Nokuba ungumntu onomhlobo wesini esahlukileyo okanye iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho linomhlobo osenyongweni owahlukileyo kwisini ebomini babo, oku kunokuba yinto ethambileyo ukuxoxa.
Ukuba unemibuzo malunga nobuhlobo besini esahlukileyo kunye nendlela abanokusebenza ngayo kunye nobudlelwane bezothando, emva koko ufike kwindawo elungileyo.
Siza kujonga kumacala omabini ebali.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba nguwe onomhlobo wesini esahlukileyo, yeyiphi imigaqo ekufuneka uyilandele? Sizokwabelana ngeengcebiso ezimbalwa zokuqinisekisa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho kunye nobuhlobo buhlala ngovuyo.
uyandithanda kodwa andimthandi
Kwaye kwelinye icala, ukuba iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho lelinye elinobuhlobo, kuya kufuneka uliphathe njani? Yintoni onokuyicela iqabane lakho ukuba lenze, kwaye yintoni engekho ngqiqweni ukulindela kubo?
Funda ukuze ufumane ukuba ungabenza njani obu budlelwane kunye nobuhlobo bunomvuzo, bonwabe kwaye buhlala buhleli.
Iingcebiso ezi-7 ukuba unomhlobo wesini esahlukileyo:
Ke, ufunda le nto kuba utshatile okanye uthandana nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kuwe, kwaye unaye nomhlobo osenyongweni ongowesini esahlukileyo.
Intle kakhulu. Ukuba nomhlobo osenyongweni wesini esahlukileyo kunokuba ngumvuzo omkhulu, kuba banokuba ngumntu obalaseleyo onokuzithemba kuye okanye akuncede ujonge izinto kwelinye icala.
Kodwa oku kunokuba yinto ekhohlisayo, ke nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda ugcine ulwalamano lwakho lothando lonwabile kwaye lomelele ngaphandle kokuncama ubuhlobo bakho.
1. Beka ubuhlobo bakho bothando kuqala.
Ngelixa ubuhlobo bunokubaluleka kakhulu kuwe, ukuba ufuna ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bothando buhlale, kufuneka ubeke iqabane lakho phambili ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ayizukufika kule nto, kodwa ungaxeleli iqabane lakho ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buxhomekeke ekwamkeleni kobu buhlobo, kuba oko kubeka uxinzelelo olukhulu kubo.
2. Ungalindeli ukuba iqabane lakho libe ngumhlobo kunye nabo.
Impazamo enkulu eyenziwa ngabantu abaninzi kulindeleke ukuba amaqabane abo kunye nomhlobo wabo babe ngamaqabane amahle. Ingayinto entle leyo, kodwa ngekhe bakhulise ubuhlobo obusondeleyo.
Umlingane wakho uphakathi kwamalungelo abo okuzikhethela abahlobo, ke sukuzama ukubanyanzela ukuba bachithe ixesha kunye nomhlobo wakho.
3. Nyaniseka kwiqabane lakho.
Isitshixo kwiimeko ezinje kukuhlala unyanisekile kwiqabane lakho.
Ukuba awufuni ukuxelela iqabane lakho malunga nokuchitha ixesha nomhlobo wakho, ngokuqinisekileyo kukho into engalunganga.
Ithemba lisisitshixo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, kwaye iqabane lakho kufuneka lazi ukuba banokukuthemba ngokupheleleyo xa kuziwa kulo mhlobo.
Ngaba unqabile ukuxelela iqabane lakho ngento oyenzayo nomhlobo wakho? Zibuze ukuba ingaba kungenxa yokuba ayinatyala kwaphela kodwa iqabane lakho liya kuba nomona, okanye ngenxa yokuba ayifanelekanga kwaye iya kuba sengqiqweni ukuba iqabane lakho licaphuke ngalo.
4. Musa ukudlala ngothando nomhlobo wakho.
Unokuba nobuhlobo obuhlekisayo okanye ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kodwa zama ukuqinisekisa ukuba awuweli umgca kumtshato wobudlelwane. Akufanele ube ngudlalani ngalo mhlobo kwaphela, kodwa ngakumbi xa iqabane lakho likho.
Izinto ezinje ngokuncika ngaphakathi okanye ukuchukumisa nje ingalo okanye umlenze, okanye zona zisenza okufanayo kuwe, mhlawumbi ziyawela umgca. Ukuba oku kuphambi kweqela labantu, kunokwenza iqabane lakho lizive lihlazekile.
5. Cinga ngendlela ekubonakala ngayo ngaphandle.
Ukuba umhlobo wakho wesini esahlukileyo uneminyaka efanayo nawe, okanye unemvelaphi efanayo, okanye naye unothando, uzinikele kwiqabane, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kufanelekile.
Kodwa qiniseka ukuba awenzi ubuhlobo obungafanelekanga. Ngaba kukho umsantsa omkhulu phakathi kwakho nomhlobo wakho?
Ukuba umntu oqiqayo ongaziyo ungacinga ukuba ubuhlobo buyinto engaqhelekanga, ke iqabane lakho liphantse liqiniseke ukuba liyabuza kwaye liyakukhathaza.
6. Mphathe umlingane wakho ngendlela onqwenela ukuphathwa ngayo.
Kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, ngaphambi kokucaphuka okanye ukucaphukisa ukuba iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho lizive lisongelwa ngumhlobo wakho wesini esahlukileyo, kuya kufuneka ujike izinto entlokweni yabo.
Ukuba izinto bezingenye indlela, ubuya kuziva njani?
Ukuba intombi yakho, umfana othandana naye, iqabane lakho, umyeni wakho, inkosikazi yakho, okanye nantoni na oyibiza ngokuba yi-SO yakho, wayenomhlobo wesini esahlukileyo, ungaziva njani ngayo? Ukuba babephethe umhlobo wabo ngale ndlela umphethe ngayo umhlobo wakho, ngaba uza kulunga kuyo?
Ukuba baye ngeempelaveki bemkile nalo mhlobo okanye bebethandana nabo, ungasabela njani?
Ukuba ngekhe ulunge kuyo, oko kuthetha ukuba unemigangatho ephindiweyo yokwenyani eqhubekayo apha, kwaye kufuneka ube nolwazelelelo ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho, kwaye uzobe imida engcono kubuhlobo bakho.
7. Musa ukuthi kwiqabane lakho bayaphambana.
Ukuba iqabane lakho alonwabanga ngobuhlobo bakho kwaye liyibona njengesoyikiso kubudlelwane bakho, ungalingwa ukuba ubalahle kwaye uthi banomona okanye bayaphambana. Ayizukunceda imeko.
Mamela inkxalabo yabo, kwaye unyaniseke kuwe malunga nokuba akukho nyaniso na kubo.
Ukuba akukho, cinga ngokuziphatha kwakho kwaye ucinge ngento enokwenza iqabane lakho lizive ngolu hlobo.
Ukuba bubuhlobo nje obusempilweni, obuxhasayo obungadluliyo nakweyiphi na imida, akufuneki kulindeleke ukuba ubuncame ngokupheleleyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, iqabane lakho kufuneka likwazi ukukuthemba, kwaye ukuba alinjalo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukho ingxaki enzulu apho kunobuhlobo obunamandla bodwa.
Kodwa kuya kufuneka wenze ulwalamano kubuhlobo bakho ukuba ufuna olu lwalamano lusebenze.
Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awukulungelanga ukulalanisa kubuhlobo bakho kwiqabane lakho, mhlawumbi ayingobantu abalungileyo kuwe.
Iingcebiso ezi-6 ukuba iqabane lakho linobuhlobo besini esahlukileyo:
Ke, iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho lelona linomhlobo osondeleyo wesini esahlukileyo.
Oku kunokuba yinto enzima ukuyiphatha, kodwa ungakhathazeki. Oku akufuneki ukuba kuthabathe amanyathelo kubudlelwane bakho.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokujongana nale meko.
1. Bajoyine xa behleli.
Akukho sidingo sokuba ube ngumhlobo osenyongweni nalo mntu, kwaye ungafumanisa ukuba ukonwabele ngakumbi ukuhlala kwiintlanganiso zabo kwixesha elizayo. Kodwa ngumbono olungileyo ukuchitha ixesha nabo bobabini ngamanye amaxesha.
Ukuba indlela iqabane lakho eliziphatha ngayo litshintsha kakhulu xa ukunye nomhlobo walo, ngumqondiso ke lowo.
Kodwa ukuba azikho i-vibes ezimbi kwaye bobabini bakhululekile (kuya kufuneka uphinde ukhululeke ukuze ubenjalo) uya kuqinisekiswa ukuba ubuhlobo babo abumsulwa, kwaye bunokukunceda ukwazi esinye isiqingatha sakho ngcono.
2. Yenza umgudu kunye nabo.
Mhlawumbi nobabini aninakuba nanto ininzi ngokufanayo okanye okuninzi eninokuthetha ngako, ngoko ke anizukuqala ubuhlobo.
Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo unento enye efanayo, kwaye lelo liqabane lakho, ke kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukumba ubuncinci ezinye izihloko zencoko.
Ukuba unazo naziphi na iinkxalabo malunga nobu buhlobo, ke zama ukuchitha ixesha elithile nomhlobo wakho, mhlawumbi neliye elinye.
ndifunxa yonke into endiyenzayo
Kuya kufuneka bonwabe benze umzamo nawe, nabo, ukuba ngenene bafuna umhlobo wabo (iqabane lakho) onwabe.
3. Siphephe isilingo sokuba ungakhathali.
Ukuba obu buhlobo buyakukhathaza, ke musa ukuwela kumgibe wokuba ungakhathali kulo mhlobo ngethemba lokuba oku kuya kubagxotha.
Ungazami ukubakhuphela ngaphandle kwimisitho emikhulu efana nepati yokuzalwa yeqabane lakho, ngakumbi ukuba umema abanye abahlobo bakhe. Kwaye ungathethi phantsi kwiqabane lakho.
4. Thetha ngezinto nomntu omthembileyo.
Umona ungayiphazamisa imbono yakho kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, ke kunokuba luncedo ukuthetha nomnye umntu owaziyo ukuba akazukukhetha.
Bona ukuba bacinga ukuba awuzikhathazi nganto okanye ukuba unezizathu zokuba nexhala.
Ukuvakalisa iinkxalabo zakho kuya kukunceda uzenze, ekufuneka zikuncede uqaphele ukuba awukho ngqiqweni, kwaye sisenzo esihle sokuba nengxoxo neqabane lakho.
5. Ukuba unezinto ezikuxhalabisayo, thetha ngokunyanisekileyo.
Ukuba unoloyiko malunga nokuthetha neqabane lakho, cinga ukubhala phantsi izinto ezikuxhalabisayo ngaphambi kokuba uthethe nazo. Cinga malunga nokuba zeziphi iiflegi ezibomvu malunga nobu buhlobo ofuna ukubuza.
Oko kuya kukunceda uhlale ujonge kwinto ofuna ukuyithetha kunokuba ucaphuke kwaye uvumele incoko ukuba isuke kwisihloko.
Endaweni yokubaxelela ukuba kufuneka ube nencoko enzulu, yiza nayo ngexesha elilungileyo, mhlawumbi xa usenza uhlobo oluthile lomsebenzi ukuze kungabikho xinzelelo. Musa isikwere ukulungiselela ungquzulwano okanye uzibeke kwindawo yokuzikhusela.
Zama ukugxila kwindlela obu buhlobo, kunye nokuziphatha kwabo kumhlobo wabo (okanye ngokuchaseneyo) kukwenza uzive, kwaye unike imizekelo ethile yokuba kutheni.
Musa ukumangaliswa ukuba incoko ayihlali ixesha elide, njengoko benokuyixubha. Kodwa kufuneka ubuncinci ityale imbewu, kwaye kuthetha ukuba bayacinga ngobuhlobo kunye nefuthe labo kubudlelwane bakho ngexesha labo.
Kungangumbono olungileyo ukubabuza ukuba bacinge ukuba bangaziva njani xa iitafile zitshintshiwe.
6. Cinga ngokuba ungamthemba na umntu wakho.
Ungazama ukunqanda iqabane lakho lingaboni lo mhlobo konke okuthandayo, kodwa inyani kukuba, ukuba zibalulekile kwiqabane lakho, ziya kuba yinto esisigxina, kwaye ngekhe uchithe ubomi bakho bonke ubanomona.
Ukuthembana sisiseko sabo nabuphi na ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, ke kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo. Nokuba uyamthemba umlingane wakho, ngokubanzi kodwa ngokukodwa nalo mhlobo, okanye awunayo.
Ukuba awukwazi ukwamkela nje lo mhlobo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ibe lixesha lokuba wamkele ukuba olu lwalamano alukulungelanga.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ulwenza njani ulwalamano lwakho lusebenze xa abahlobo besini esahlukileyo beyinxalenye yokulinganisa? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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