Kutheni kunzima kangaka ukuzibeka kwindawo yokuqala?
Ngaba ukhe uzibuze ukuba kutheni, kwisikimu esikhulu sezinto, sihlala sizifumana sesifikile ekugqibeleni? Senza ixesha labanye, sithi ewe kwizibophelelo ezingapheliyo, okanye sivume izinto esingafuni ukuzenza kwiphulo lethu lokuba 'ngumntu olungileyo.'
Sifuna ukuba abanye bacinge ukuba ‘silungile,’ ukuze nathi siqale ukuzixabisa ‘silungile’ nathi. Kutheni le nto singazixabisi thina kulwakhiwo? Kutheni le nto singaze siwele entanjeni Ekuqaleni ?
‘Umntu olungileyo.’ Ithetha ntoni loo nto? Sihlala sithatha isihlalo esingasemva kwihlazo kunye noloyiko lokubonwa njengesiqu sakho. Siyeka ukuthi 'hayi' kwizinto esingazithandiyo, asizithetheleli kwaye sihlale sinomsindo, sivumela abanye ukuba bathethe ngathi, okanye kuthi. Sinyanzelekile ukuba senze izinto esingenakukwazi ukuzenza, okanye esingafuniyo ukuzenza ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi, ukugcina nje ukubonakala.
Ingxaki yile, kolu phengululo 'lokulungileyo,' senza izinto ezingenabuntu kuthi.
Eli nqaku liza kuphonononga ezinye zezizathu zokuba kutheni kufuneka uzibeke wena kuqala, kodwa masiqale kwasekuqaleni…
Kwenzeke Njani Oku?
Simiselwe ukusukela kwiminyaka yobudala ukuba sibeke abanye kuqala. Ngoku ayisiyonto imbi le yinxalenye yobomi. Kufuneka sazi kwangoko ukuba kukho abanye abantu abahamba ubomi kunye nathi, kwaye ukubaphatha ngembeko efanayo esifuna ukuphathwa ngayo kuya kwenza ukuba uhambo lwethu lube mnandi.
Endaweni ethile emgceni oku kuyaphambuka, kwaye kuninzi lwethu, siphelela ekugqibeleni ekugqibeleni phantse kuyo yonke into, konke egameni 'lokulunga.'
Cinga emva xa wawusengumntwana, kukangaphi uxelelwa ukuba 'uziphathe kakuhle,' 'wange umalume wakho,' okanye 'ugone ummelwane'? Kukangaphi unyanzelwa ukuba unyamezele uninzi lwabantu olunganyamezelekiyo kunye nokuziphatha konke egameni lokuba umntu olungileyo? UThixo akavumeli ukuba ungafuni ukunxulumana nabanye kuba ubungaziva, okanye awufuni kunyanzelwa ukuba uncamisane kwaye uwole ulwalamano nosapho olukude okanye umntu omdala ongahleliwe ukuze ungabizwa ngokuba ungumntwana ombi kwaye abazali bakho banokugcina ubuso.
Ngexesha elithile, ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zixolelanayo ziye zazinza. Kakhulu ke ngoku, ngokucela ukuba iimfuno zethu zidibane okanye ukuseka imida konke akunakwenzeka kwabanye abantu abadala. Ngokuya ukhula, uye waqheleka kolu lindelo lubethelela iimfuno kunye neminqweno yakho de uzirhoxe kwinto yokuba 'kunje.'
Lixesha lokuba kulungile ngokuthi hayi. Lixesha lokuba ulungile kunye nokuba nendawo yakho ngokwakho, ungaphazanyiswa, ukuze uphinde uzive ukhululeke kwiimfuno zabanye abantu. Kubalulekile ukuba ndikhululekile kumvandedwa yokufuna ukuba iimfuno zakho zifezekiswe.
Ukumiselwa kwakhona kwemida
Ukukhawuleza uye ebudaleni. Sichitha iiyure ezingenakubalwa, kunye needola, kwisofa yabacebisi sizibuza ukuba kutheni sinesidima, kutheni sisebenza kakhulu, kwaye kutheni ubudlelwane bethu buhlala busilela.
Ukuzibeka kuqala linyathelo elilungileyo ekubuyiseleni kulawulo owawufundiswe ukulunika yonke le minyaka idlulileyo. Siphambanise ukuzithanda nokuzikhathalela. Sizimisele ukuba sikholelwe ekubeni ukusithi hayi kuya kuba neziphumo ezibi ekuhlaleni, kodwa eyona nyani yile: 'iziphumo ezibi' zezangaphakathi, hayi ezangaphandle.
Ke ziziphi iinzuzo zokuzibeka kuqala? Kuya kwenzeka ntoni xa ungafundanga ezo zifundo zobuntwana kwaye ucinge ngeemfuno zakho kunye neminqweno kube kanye?
Iimuvi ezikwenza ucinge ngenjongo yobomi
Umzimba wakho kunye nengqondo ziyakubulela ngayo
Xa uqala ukubeka iimfuno zakho kuqala, uya kubona ukuphucuka okukhulu kwimpilo yakho ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasemzimbeni. Xa uvuma iimfuno zakho, nditsho nezona zisisiseko, ezinje, 'Hayi, uxolo, andikwazi ukuphuma ngobu busuku, ndidiniwe kwaye ndifuna ukuphumla.', Okanye ezomphefumlo, 'Hayi, ndi andifuni ukuphuma, ndifuna ixesha lokuba ndedwa. ”, Iyasixhobisa, kwaye isempilweni.
Khumbula: awenzakalisanga mntu ngokwala isimemo ngelixa benokudana ekuqaleni, baya kuphila.
Into oyenzileyo, nangona kunjalo, kukubuyisela kulawulo ... kwaye loo mvakalelo iyakhulula ngokumangalisayo. Uya kuziva ungcono ngokuzimela. Ngokwasemzimbeni, wenze isithuba sokuphinda uhlaziye kwaye ukhathalele umzimba wakho ngokufumana ixesha elifunekayo, nangokwasengqondweni, ngokwazisa omnye umntu ukuba akufuneki kubekho sizathu sokwenza into, elula, 'Hayi, Andifuni kuphuma. ” kwanele.
Kulungile ukuthi hayi ngaphandle kwesizathu ngaphandle kokuba yinto ongafuniyo ukuyenza. Xa ungahlali phantsi kwedyokhwe yoxanduva ekuhlaleni, ingqondo nomzimba wakho ziya kukubulela.
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- Ukutyibilika ngokutyibilika Kokungakhathali: Isilumkiso kubo bonke abantu
- Ungazixolela Njani: 17 Akukho Iingcebiso zeBullsh * t!
Ukuqhubeka Nomsindo
Akukho nto imbi njengokuthi ewe, xa uthetha ukuthi hayi. Siyazoyika iziphumo zokugxekwa ekuhlaleni ngakumbi kunokuba sisoyika ukurhafisa imizimba yethu emzimbeni, okanye ukuzixhalabisa ngokwengqondo ukwenza abanye bazive bebhetele kunye nokugcina ibheji yethu 'yomntu olungileyo'.
Xa uvuma ukwenza into ongafuniyo ukuyenza, ugqibela uyenza nenzondo. Awubonakalisi ngokupheleleyo ngenxa yokuba uxakeke kakhulu ucinga ngezinto onokonwaba, okanye ezifuna ukwenziwa, kodwa ubekwe kwisitovu esingasemva ukuze ubeke iimfuno zomnye umntu kuqala.
Nawe, ungaqondanga, yiba ngumasethi womnyango. Uvula umnyango 'wokuthatha ithuba ngam' kuba uthumela umyalezo wokuba 'ewe' kukusilela kwakho kwaye uhlala uhleli.
Khumbula: Awudingi ukwenza izizathu zokuba kutheni ungafuni ukwenza into. Akukho kwanele ku…
Xa udadewenu enyanzelisa ukuba ugcinwe simahla ixesha elinekhulu, uphendule ngokuthi, 'Hayi, andifuni kubukela uSuzie ngokuhlwanje, ndifuna ixesha kum.'
Xa abantu emsebenzini bekunyanzela ukuba unikele kwisipho somtshato samva nje, isipho sokuvalelisa, ishawa yomntwana, okanye 'umntwana wam uthengisa itshokholethi yesisa', yithi nje, 'Hayi, ndinayo imibutho yesisa esele ndiyinikela.' okanye 'ndiyaxolisa, ndiqinisekile ukuba uSally uyathandeka, kodwa andimazi ngenxa yoko andizukuya / ndinikele.'
Xa uvolontiye kwisikolo somntwana wakho sokubhaka kwaye kulo nyaka, udiniwe kwaye awusafuni kuphinda, kodwa ucinezelwa ngabanye abazali okanye kulindeleke ukuba ngenxa yexesha elidlulileyo lokufunda, elula Ndiyazi ukuba ndincedisile kule minyaka mithathu idlulileyo, kodwa kulo nyaka andizukubhaka / ndiya / ndincede. Ndinezinye izicwangciso. ” kuya kwanela.
Akukho nanye kwezi meko ebeka ubomi engozini engxamisekileyo kwaye zonke zinokulawulwa ngaphandle kokunyanzelwa. Izicwangciso zakho 'ezinye izicwangciso' azifuni ngcaciso engaphezulu. Leyo yinxalenye yokuseka imida. Inyaniso yokuba ubonise ukuba awukwazi okanye awufuni, ngumqondiso owaneleyo. Abantu abangayihloniphiyo imida yakho, okanye abaziva ngathi banetyala lenkcazo ngabantu ongabadingi ebomini bakho.
Lungela: xa uhlala uthi ewe, kwaye emva koko uqala ukuthi hayi kwaye ubeke iimfuno zakho kunye nezinto ozifunayo kuqala, abantu baya kuthi. Bayakucaphuka, babe nomsindo, kuba baqhele ukuva 'ewe' ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuwe. Ukuba, emva kokwala, abasasihloneli isigqibo sakho, kusenokufuneka uphinde uvavanye olo lwalamano.
Ubuhlobo bakho buya kukhula
Awunakumthanda umntu ngokupheleleyo ukuba awuzithandi okanye uzikhathalele. Ungalindela njani iimfuno zomnye umntu kunye nezinto ozifunayo xa ungenalo uluvo olucacileyo olwakho?
Yonke into iqala ngawe: ukuze ube nakho ukubelana kubudlelwane obusempilweni kunye nomntu, kuya kufuneka ubenakho ukubethelela iimfuno zakho, kwaye ubavumele indawo yokuzimela ngokukhuselekileyo. Oku kuyinyani ukunika kwaye uthathe xa abantu ababini benokwamkela into abayifunayo ngaphandle kokoyika ukohlwaywa, okanye ukuba omnye umntu uya kubashiya ngenxa yokuthetha.
Oku akupheleli nje kubudlelwane bezothando oku kusebenza kuye wonke umntu odibana naye. Ngula mntu 'ulungileyo' ubumleqa ubomi bakho bonke? Lo mntu ulapho, kwaye uhlala ekhona. Into ehlekisayo kukuba, ukuzikhathalela kwakho kuqala kukwenza ube ngumntu ongcono kuba kungoko kuphela apho unokubakhona ngokupheleleyo, apho ufuna ukubakhona, nabantu ofuna ukuba phakathi kwabo, kwaye ngenxa yoko, uzibandakanya ngokwenyani nokubalulekileyo ebomini .
Njengoko ilizwi lihamba, 'Awungekhe ugalele kwikomityi engenanto.'
