Ubudlelwane obukude bunzima, sonke siyayazi loo nto.
Ewe, banako ukusebenzela abanye abantu, nokuba kukusebenza ixesha elincinci, ukuphela kweminyaka, okanye ubomi bonke. Abanye abantu bayabathanda ngenxa yenkululeko abanokuyinika.
Kodwa kukho ixabiso elikhulu lokuhlawula loo nkululeko kwaye ayinguye wonke umntu, okanye ngenene zonke izibini, ezinqunyulwayo, nokuba zilunge kangakanani iinjongo zabo okanye babenjalo xa beqala ulwalamano.
Ukuba ulwalamano olukude olungahambi kakuhle kwaye ufunda oku, mhlawumbi uyazibuza ukuba lixesha lokuba uvume ukoyiswa sele lifikile. Nokuba ungonwaba ukuba ubungekho kubudlelwane nalo mntu ubomi bakhe bukunye umzi, ilizwe, okanye ilizwekazi elilelakho.
Kwaye ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba ixesha lifikile, usenokuzibuza ukuba ungahlukana njani neqabane lakho ngendlela enobubele kuni nobabini.
Masiqale ngezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda ubone ukuba kwaye lifikile nini ixesha lokwahlukana, emva koko sixoxe ngendlela ekufuneka uhambe ngayo.
Ubuphelisa nini ubudlelwane obude?
Ngamanye amaxesha, kuya kubakho umzuzu omnye wokuthatha isigqibo xa usazi ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bexesha elide buphelile.
Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha zonke iintlobo zezizathu zokuyiphelisa ziya kuqala ukufumba kancinci de ungabinakho ukungazihoyi kwakhona.
1. Xa uqaphela ukuba ikwenza ungonwabi.
Izinto zokuqala kuqala. Ubudlelwane bothando akufuneki bukubangele ukuba ubandezeleke.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ayizukukhanya kwelanga kunye nemvula yonke. Lonke ulwalamano lusebenza nzima , umgama omde okanye hayi. Kodwa akufuneki konke kube ngamafu emvula, inkungu, kunye neendudumo.
Ulwalamano olukude lunokonwaba kakhulu. Kodwa ukuba ulwalamano lwakho nalo mntu lukwenza ungonwabi ngokungaguquguqukiyo, kuya kufuneka ucinge nzulu malunga nokuba yintoni na ukuphuma kwenu nobabini nokuba ingaba izinto ezingalunganga ziyazodlula izinto ezilungileyo.
Ukuba kukho ukwehla ngaphezulu kunokunyuka, lixesha lokuba uzibuze ukuba kutheni ukolu lwalamano.
2. Xa iipali zihamba.
Olunye ubudlelwane obukude buqala ngaloo ndlela, nabantu ababini abahlala kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo behlangana kwaye bethandana. Kwaye abanye baqala ngawo omabini amaqabane endaweni enye, emva koko omnye ahambe aye emsebenzini, okanye alandele nje amaphupha abo.
Ukuba nivumelene kwasekuqaleni ukuba imeko yenu yomgama omde ayizukubakho, kwaye nobabini niyilungiselele loo nto, inye loo nto.
Kodwa ukuba ubuvumile ukuba kuyakubakho umda wexesha kwaye emva kwexesha umda utshintshe, inokuba ngumzuzu ovavanya ngokwenene ubudlelwane.
Kulula kakhulu ukuthwala ukwahlukana xa usazi ukuba kuphela kwiinyanga ezimbalwa okanye unyaka, kwaye xa kufika umhla othile, niyakudibana kwakhona.
ukuba wenzeni xa udikiwe kwaye uhlala wedwa ekhaya
Kulapho ungenalo nofifi lokuba ungahlala ixesha elide kangakanani kunokuba nzima, njengoko oko kuthetha ukuba awukwazi ukwenza naziphi na izicwangciso zokudibana okanye ukonwaba ngekamva ekwabelwana ngalo.
Ke, ukuba iimeko zitshintshile kwaye ngoku kujongeka ngathi ukwahlukana kwakho akunasiphelo, isenokuba lixesha lokuvuma ukuba izinto azizukusebenza phakathi kwenu.
3. Xa ukubonana kuya kuba yinto engenakwenzeka.
Umgama omde ungathandana ngendlela emangalisayo, ngendlela yayo. Kuthetha ukuba xa uphinde wahlangana kwakhona, inokuba yeentsuku ezimbalwa zexabiso, ngamanye amaxesha kwindawo ekude.
Ixesha elixhwiliweyo kunye ligazi lobomi bolwalamano lwenu. Ithemba lokuhlangana kwakho okulandelayo kunye neenkumbulo zokugqibela zokuba kunye zezona zinto zininika ixesha lokuhlukana.
Kodwa ukuba ukubonana rhoqo kuya kuba yimali okanye kungenzeki ukuba izinto zisetyenzwe, oko kunokuba yinto ephazamisayo kwaye ibangele usizi kunokuba kunokuba mnandi.
Ngezihlandlo ezinje ngezi, kufuneka unike ingcinga enzulu malunga nokuba ubudlelwane buzinzile ngokwenene ukuba anizokwazi ukubonana.
4. Xa ikubambe umva nobabini.
Ubudlelwane obukude bunokukhulula ngokumangalisayo.
Ukungabinaye omnye umntu ngalo lonke ixesha kuthetha ukuba awuweli kumgibe weklasikhi wokuyeka izinto ozithandayo kunye nokungahoyi izihlobo zakho endaweni yeqabane lakho. Kuthetha ukuba unyanzelwe ukuba uzimele.
Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha inokuba iqhina. Ukuba nobudlelwane nomntu ohlala kwenye indawo kunganinqanda nobabini ekwamkeleni ngokupheleleyo ubomi benu apho nihlala khona.
kathathu h kunye shawn michals
Ukuhamba rhoqo ngeempelaveki okanye ukuchitha ubusuku bakho usenza iminxeba yevidiyo kunokuthetha ukuba awukho nje, kwaye ukuhlala ucinga ngeqabane lakho kunokukuyekisa ukugxila kwinto oyifunayo ebomini.
Mhlawumbi uncama amaphupha akho kunye neenjongo zokuhambelana nesicwangciso sobabini sokudibana kwakhona.
Ukuba nobabini niyabambana emva kokutyhalelana phambili, isenokuba lixesha lokuba nicingisise nzulu ngokuba ingaba olu lwalamano yeyona nto ilungileyo kuni nobabini.
5. Xa usilwa ngaphezu kokuba uthetha.
Nobabini nobabini ninobomi obupheleleyo (ngethemba), ngenxa yoko ngekhe nithethe kangangoko nithanda. Kodwa xa usenza njalo, kuya kufuneka nizalise ngovuyo omnye komnye.
Kuya kubakho, kunjalo, amaxesha xa usilwa okanye ungaboni ngasonye, kodwa ukulwa akufuneki kube yimowudi yakho emiselweyo.
Ukuba uhlala ucaphuka omnye komnye ngenxa yento enye, okanye ukuchitha ixesha elininzi ucaphuka nabo kunokuba kungenjalo, luphawu olubi olo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuya kufuneka nenze ixesha lokuba kunye xa izinto zizakusebenza phakathi kwenu.
Kodwa ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uyabacaphukisa kwaye ubenze bazive bengalunganga ngokufuna ukuphuma baphile ubomi babo kunokuncokola nawe ngevidiyo, okanye bakwenze uzive ngolu hlobo, ke kukho isizathu sokukhathazeka.
6. Xa kucacile ukuba akukho namnye kuni oya kwenza utshintsho.
Mhlawumbi uye waya kolu lwalamano ukholelwa ukuba, ngaxa lithile, omnye wenu uza kwenza intshukumo yokuba nibe kunye.
Kodwa ukuba ngokuthe ngcembe iya icaca into yokuba wena kunye nabo abazimiselanga kuyenza loo nto, isenokuba lixesha lokuvuma ukoyiswa.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba awuzimiselanga kuzincothula ngokwakho kubo, ke awunakulindela ukuba benze okufanayo nakuwe.
7. Xa uqaphela ukuba ngekhe isebenze ukuba bekungekho kude.
Le yokugqibela inokuba nzima ukuba uyenze ngelixa uhlala ngokwahlukeneyo, kodwa yinto ekufuneka uyicingile.
Ngaba ucinga ngokunyanisekileyo ubudlelwane ukuba buya kusebenza ukuba uhlala endaweni enye?
Okanye ucinga ukuba idrama kunye nomgama wolwalamano lwakho lwangoku kunye nothando lwexesha lakho elixhwithekileyo kunye yinto eyiyo leyo?
Ukuba nobabini nenza izicwangciso zokuhlala endaweni enye ngenye imini, kuya kufuneka niqiniseke kangangoko ukuba nizokwazi ukuhlengahlengisa ulwalamano lwenu kwaye ngekhe lutshabalale nje ukuba ukonwaba komgama kuphume yiyo.
Ungabuphelisa njani ubudlelwane obukude.
Ke, uthathe isigqibo sokuba lixesha. Obu budlelwane bemigama emide abuzinzileyo, kwaye uyazi nzulu emazantsi entliziyo ukuba kufuneka uxele.
Kodwa wenza njani emhlabeni?
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, iingcebiso zokuqhekeka eziqhelekileyo azisetyenziswa kakhulu kule meko.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda uphelise ubudlelwane obukude njengentlungu engenako, zombini wena neqabane lakho.
1. Yenze ngokukhawuleza.
Ukuba uziva ngolu hlobo, ngoko akukho sizathu sokurhuqa izinto, kuba oko kuya kuba yinkohlakalo kuni nobabini.
Nangona iingcebiso eziqhelekileyo zezokuba uqhekeko lwenziwe buqu, kwezi meko zihlala zinobubele ukukwenza ngaphezulu kwefowuni yevidiyo ukuze kungafuneki uyenze xa uthe wavela kutyelelo ekudala belulangazelela.
2. Sukwenza emva kokuchitha iveki entle kunye.
Okulusizi kukuba, abanye abantu bacinga ukuba licebo elilungileyo lokwahlukana namaqabane abo ekupheleni kweholide okanye ngeempelaveki kunye, ukuze babanike iinkumbulo ezintle zokugqibela.
Musa ukuwela kuloo mgibe, njengoko naziphi na iinkumbulo ziya konakaliswa lulwazi owawucwangcisa ukwahlukana ngalo lonke ixesha.
3. Sukungxama xa usenza.
Umhlobo wam wayekhe wanesithandwa sakhe seminyaka emibini esiya kude kunye naye kabuhlungu kwimizuzu eli-10 yomnxeba osuka eofisini yakhe. Musa ukuba nguloo mfo, okanye ntombazana.
Bayeke bakhokele incoko. Ukuba bafuna ukuthetha izinto ngenxa yokuvalwa, vuma ukuhamba nayo. Kodwa ukuba bayayenza icace kungcono bayiphelise incoko, uyihloniphe nayo loo nto.
4. Yiba nobubele.
Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu baba nexhala lokwahlukana nomntu ade abe yinkohlakalo kwaye ukhohlakele. Kufuneka ube nobubele, kodwa ucace.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba akukho themba lokuba nobabini, ungathethi nantoni na eya kubakhokelela.
Kuya kufuneka ubambe ibhalansi elungileyo phakathi kokungabeki tyala eminyango yabo okanye wenze oku kube nzima kunokuba kufanelekile, kwaye ungabaniki themba lobuxoki.
5. Cebisa ukuba akunanxibelelwano okwexeshana.
Enye yezinto ezilungileyo zokuba ngumgama omde kukuba xa sele kugqityiwe, akufuneki ukhathazeke ngokungqubeka kubo esitratweni kwaye ipateni yobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla ayizukutshintsha konke oko.
Akufuneki kubekho izikhumbuzo ezininzi zedala lakho elikungqongileyo njengoko bekunokwenzeka ukuba nihlala kunye.
Ke, qiniseka ukuba wenza olona loncedo. Cebisa ukuba nobabini nithathe ixesha lokuphefumla nizilungise izinto phambi kokuba nithethe kwakhona. Kungabonakala kunzima ukuqala, kodwa iya kwenza izinto zibe lula kakhulu kuni nobabini.
Ewe, ukuba awufuni ukuzama ukusindisa ubuhlobo kulwalamano, akukho nto ithi kufuneka uhlale unxibelelana nabo konke konke. Oko kuxhomekeke kuwe - kananjalo kubo ukuba baziva ngaloo ndlela.
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andiyilungelanga nantoni na endiyenzayo
Thatha umphefumlo onzulu. Oku akuyi kuba lula, kodwa ukuba ubudlelwane abulunganga, akukho kulwa oko.
Ndiyathemba ukuba obu budlelwane bukushiye nobabini kunye neenkumbulo ezimnandi kwaye bakufundise ngawe kunye nento oyifunayo kwiqabane.
Ke, biza yonke inkalipho yakho, yiba nobubele kuwe nakubo, kwaye uyathemba ukuba konke kuya kusebenza ekugqibeleni.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga nokuba ufuna ukugqiba izinto okanye indlela yokwenza ngayo? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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