Intlonipho yinto efunyanwa zizenzo zikabani kunye nendlela abaziphatha ngayo ebomini.
Abantu bahlala besithi bafuna ukufuna imbeko okanye bayalele intlonipho kwabanye abantu, kodwa ayisiyiyo ngokwenene into onokuyenza.
Ukufuna intlonipho akufumani ntlonipho, ngokubanzi kubangela ukuba umntu ophantsi komhlaba abeke umntu ophantsi, nto leyo ingeyiyo imbeko. Olo loyiko kunye noloyikiso olungasondeliyo kwinto enye.
Intlonipho kukuncoma okunzulu komntu okanye kwento impumelelo yakhe, amandla akhe, okanye iimpawu zakhe ezikhuthazayo.
Ukufumana imbeko, umntu kufuneka athathe iindlela zokukhuthaza ezo mvakalelo kuye nakwabanye abantu.
Uyenza njani lonto?
1. Yenza ngentlonipho kwabanye abantu.
Abantu banokuba zijerikha. Bakrwada, banekratshi, bayanyanzela, kwaye banomsindo.
Kutheni le nto ungafuna ukubaphatha ngembeko abo bantu?
Ewe, isimilo sabo sibonakalisa kubo nakwimo yabo yengqondo kunye nobomi, ngelixa indlela oziphethe ngayo ibonisa wena kunye nengqondo yakho kunye nobomi bakho.
Liliphi ixesha elililo lokuthi ndiyakuthanda
Kuyalingana nokuzithoba eludakeni kwaye ulwe nabo bantu xa betyhalela phezulu kwimida yakho okanye bakuphatha kakubi.
Kodwa abantu baya kuqaphela indlela ophendula ngayo ekuziphatheni. Ukuntywila kwelo nqanaba kunokubenza abanye abantu bacinge ukuba awuzilawuli okanye unakho ukuba nozakuzo kunye nengxabano.
Oko akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka ube ngumgcini womnyango okanye wamkele isimilo esibi. Kuthetha ukuba ube nomda obekiweyo kunye nokufunda ukuhamba okanye ekuhlaleni ujonge ukungqubana okungafunekiyo ukuze ungangeniswa kukungakhathali kwabanye abantu.
Abantu baya kuqaphela ukuba ungathatha indlela ephezulu.
2. Yenza izenzo zakho zithethe.
Akukho mntu uyikhathaleleyo into othi uza kuyenza.
Bakhathalele kuphela into oyenzayo.
Abantu baya kuthetha imini yonke malunga nento abaza kuyenza kunye nendlela abaza kuyenza ngayo. Abantu abaninzi kakhulu bacinga ukuba umbono olungileyo okanye umnqweno ngandlela ithile unokuthelekiswa nokuthatha inyathelo.
Musa ukuthi uza kwenza ntoni okanye ufune imvume kwabanye abantu malunga nezimvo zakho.
Ukuba ufuna ukuyenza, yenze.
Khumbula nje oku:iintshukumo ozithathayo namhlanje zizinto abantu abaza kwenza izigwebo ngazo ngomso.
Ukwenza ngokunyaniseka kunye nokunyaniseka, nokuba izinto azihambi kakuhle, kubonisa ukuba uthembekile kwabanye.
Ukuba uthi uza kwenza into, landela kuyo kwaye uqiniseke ukuba loo nto iyenziwa.
Ukuba ngumntu onokuthenjwa kuya kukwenza ugqame kwaye ufumane imbeko kuba bambalwa kakhulu abantu abalandela izinto abathi bazakuzenza.
3. Musa ukuphambanisa imbeko yobungcali nentlonipho yobuqu.
Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba banokufumana imbeko ngesihloko okanye ngegunya.
Olu hlobo luyinyani. Isihloko okanye isikhundla segunya sinokuhlonitshwa, kodwa umntu owongameleyo usenokungayihlonelwa.
Mhlawumbi loo mntu uzibonakalisa njengomntu ongenabulumko ongxamile, oxhaphazayo, okanye ongxamisekileyo.
Mhlawumbi basebenzisa igunya labo njengeklabhu ukwenza ama-bludgeon abo baphantsi kwabo.
Abayi nkokeli, bangomntu okwindima yobunkokeli.
Unokufumana isihloko-ugqirha, imbaleki yeenkwenkwezi, umphathi, umphathi-kodwa into oyenzayo ngesihloko iya kugqiba ukuba ingaba abantu ngokwenene ndiyakuhlonipha.
Umntu ofumana eso sihloko kufuneka asebenze ngentembeko yobuqu kunye nobungcali. Oko kuthetha ukuthatha uxanduva lomntu ngokungathí sina, ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo, kunye nokufaka umsebenzi.
Yiba ngumlandeli olungileyo xa ilixesha. Yiba yinkokheli elungileyo xa ilixesha.
Ngalo msebenzi kuza isimilo, ukuthembana kunye nentlonipho.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindlela ezi-6 zokubonisa intlonipho kwabanye (+ Izizathu ezi-5 zibalulekile ebomini)
- UngaJongana njani noMntwana okhule engenantlonelo: 7 Akukho zingcebiso zingamampunge!
- Uyenza njani indoda ukuba ikuhloniphe: 11 Akukho ngcebiso zingamampunge!
- Iimpawu ezingama-20 awuzihloniphi (kwaye ungayeka njani)
4. Yiba nemibono kwaye ungabi mnandi kakhulu.
Umntu unokucinga ukuba ukulunga yindlela yokufumana imbeko.
Ayiyo.
Ngelixa kubalulekile ukwenza ngobubele nangobabalo kwabanye abantu, ukuba ulunge kakhulu inokuchazwa njengobuthathaka okanye ukunganyaniseki.
Ubumnandi buhle ngokumodareyitha. Kodwa ukuba ulunge kakhulu kunokwenza abantu babuze isimilo sakho kunye nokunyaniseka.
Ukunyaniseka ngamanye amaxesha akulunganga okanye kulungile, kodwa isenokuba yinto efuna ukuthethwa ukuze utshintsho olunentsingiselo nolulungileyo luvele kwimeko.
Ukuba uza kwenza impazamo embi, awufuni umhlobo wakho olungileyo ukuba akuxelele ukuba licebo elihle xa besazi inyani ukuba ayizukubakho. Kukuxoka nje kwaye akukho mntu uhlonela ixoki.
Kuyafana nakwezimvo.Umntu ongenazo izimvo ezizezakhe okanye ozitshintshayo xa enocelomngeni ngayo nayiphi na indlela uza azive ngathi ubuthathaka.
Oko akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukutshintsha uluvo xa unikwa ulwazi olutsha okanye uwuqonde ngcono umbandela. Oko kuthetha ukuba awukwazi ukubuya umva ebantwini ngokungenasizathu ukuba ufuna ukuhlonitshwa.
5. Ukuphuhlisa ukuthetha ngokwakho.
Oko sikuxelela kuko kuthe cwaka ezingqondweni zethu kuqhuba ngezenzo zethu, iimvakalelo, kunye nokuziphatha.
Umntu osebenzisa izinto ezininzi ezimbi zokuthetha-malunga nendlela izimvo zabo ezingalunganga ngayo, ukuba azixabisekanga, nokuba abafanelekanga ukuba bahlonitshwe- uzokuyivelisa loo nto ngaphandle ngezenzo kunye nendlela abaziphethe ngayo.
Ukuthetha okungalunganga kufuneka kulawulwe ukuze kungaphumi gazi kunxibelelwano lwakho nabanye abantu.
Kodwa nantsi into.
Awudingi ukuba ube nenkohliso malunga nokuba neemvakalelo ezimbi okanye umbono.
Yiba nentembelo kwizinto ezinyanisekileyo. Vuma izinto ezingathandekiyo eziyinyani kwaye zibambekile, kodwa ungazivumeli zihlale engqondweni yakho.
Sukunyanzela into engeyiyo malunga nokuzama ukuzama ukungabi negative.
Kodwa ayiyonyani leyo?
Hayi. Kukuzama nje ukungabi nampazamo.
Masithi wenze impazamo emsebenzini ukuba umphathi wakho uqaphele kwaye akazange onwabe ngayo.
Ukuthetha kakubi kuya kuba kukuzixelela ukuba bazizidenge, abanakho ukusebenza, okanye abanako ukwenza izinto ngokuchanekileyo.
Ukulungela inkohliso kukuzama ukujikeleza impazamo kwinto elungileyo xa ngokucacileyo kungenjalo.
Kuya kufuneka ulwele umhlaba ophakathi. Unokuthi ewe, ndiyenzile loo mpazamo kwaye andizukuphinda ndiyenze, kuba ndingumsebenzi olungileyo ozama ngamandla. Ndenze impazamo… impazamo enokwenzeka nakubani na.
6. Yiba neziphene neempazamo zakho.
Kweli xesha likhulu leendaba zosasazo, uncumo oluqaqambileyo, kunye nokungakhathali, abantu banqwenela ukunyaniseka.
Enye indlela yokufumana imbeko kukuba ungubani, ungcono okanye ungalunganga, ungalunganga okanye ulungile.
Oko akuthethi ukwamkela kwaye uqhubeke nokwenza izinto ezimbi. Kukuma kwaye ungumnini wokuba ungumntu onesiphene, kwaye usazi ukuba ayisiyonto imbi ngolo hlobo.
Wonke umntu wenza iimpazamo. Abo bathi abaxoki.
Iimpazamo zezinto ezisikhuthaza ukuba sikhule njengomntu, siphuhlise imikhwa engcono kunye nesimilo, kwaye sizuze imbeko kwabanye.
Akukho mntu ufuna ukudibanisa okanye ukusebenza nabantu abazama ukulungisa indlela yokuphuma kwiimpazamo zabo kunye noxanduva lwabo.
Coca ukungcola kwakho, nokuba kungokufanisa okanye komzimba.
7. Sebenzela ekukhuliseni ukuzithemba.
Akukho nto icinywayo ngaphandle komntu onqwenela ukwamkelwa.
Umntu olangazelela ukwamkelwa okanye ukuhlonitshwa uhlala ethatha amanyathelo abonisa ukuba bayafuna kwaye bayaswele.
Abantu bayalutolika olu hlobo lokuziphatha njengolubonisa ulondolozo oluphezulu okanye ukuzithemba okuphantsi, okunika ukonyuka kwezixhobo zabo.
Abanye abantu banokuba nobubele okanye bahle ngayo ukuze ubonakalise imbeko, kodwa oko kuyakuhlawula ukuzihlonipha kunye nentlonipho evela kwabanye.
Ukuzithemba kungumqolo wayo yonke imbeko…
… Yile ikuxelela ukuba uthethe ngokwakho okanye omnye umntu xa ubona into engalunganga.
… Yile nto ikukhokhela ekuphatheni abanye abantu ngemfesane nentlonipho.
… Yile nto ikunceda wazi ukuba ungazifezekisa izinto oza kuzenza, kwaye nokuba akunjalo, yazi ukuba uza kuhamba namava, isimilo esingcono, ukuzihlonipha kwakho, nayo nayiphi na imbeko oyifumeneyo indlela.
