Ngaba uqhelene nomxholo 'we-Azazele'?
Ivela kwenye yeencwadi zeTestamente eNdala. Zonke izono zabantu zazibekwa ngokomfuziselo phezu kwebhokhwe, eyathi emva koko yagxothelwa entlango, yathatha lonke ityala kwaye yazikhathaza ngayo.
Ngokwendlela yanamhlanje, i-scapegoat ngumntu otyholwayo ngeziphoso zabanye abantu. Ngokwesiqhelo xa bengafanelekanga konke konke.
Oku kuhlala kusenzeka kwiintsapho ezingasebenzi kakuhle, ngakumbi ukuba elinye okanye amanye amalungu osapho aneengxaki ngokweemvakalelo okanye ubuntu.
Ngapha koko, phantse ayinakuphepheka into yokuba ilungu losapho liyakugqibela njenge-scapegoat ukuba umzali ungumntu we-narcissist, okanye unengxaki yomda wobuntu.
Umntu ekuthethwa ngaye - uhlala elilungu losapho elizinzileyo ngokweemvakalelo- uthwala ingqumbo yomxhaphazi wabo. Yonke into kunye nayo nayiphi na into ehamba gwenxa ngokuqinisekileyo yimpazamo yabo.
Okwangoku, amanye amalungu osapho alandela isikhokelo somxhaphazi ophambili, kwaye ancede ngokuntywila ekungcoleni ngakwelo cala lakhe.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kulula kakhulu ukugxeka omnye umntu ngezinto ezingahambi kakuhle kunokwamkela uxanduva lwazo.
Olunye usapho oluxhaphazayo luye ngokuzithandela luthwale lo mthwalo ukuze lusindise amalungu osapho asengozini.
ungathini xa umfana ekubiza umhle
Umzekelo, umntakwenu omdala angabamkela obu bubi ukuze ahlangule abantakwabo abancinci kwingqumbo yomzali wabo.
Ngokufanayo, umzali unokuqubuda kumsindo weqabane lakhe ukuze kugcinwe uxolo kwaye kukhuselwe abantwana babo.
Kuyothusa ukuba sisohlwayo esingakanani umntu anokuzithoba kuso ngenxa yokugcina imvisiswano yosapho. Kananjalo akufuneki ukuba kothuse ukufumanisa ukuba ungakanani na umonakalo onokuthi ubenze ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Inqaku elibalulekileyo: Ukuba ukhe waziva usemngciphekweni wokuxhaphaza abantu abakuphethe gadalala okanye wabaphatha gadalala, ezinye zeengcebiso ezingezantsi zingayingozi. Ukuba kunjalo, fumana uncedo emapoliseni, kwimibutho efanelekileyo / kwabasemagunyeni, kunye / okanye kunyango oluqeqeshiweyo. Ungaze ubeke ukhuseleko lwakho emngciphekweni.
Iimpawu ezi-8 zokuba uyiNtsapho engu-Azazele
Kukho iimpawu ezithile kunye neepateni eziza kulandela. Ezi zidweliswe ngezantsi zinokubonakala ziqhelekile kuwe, okanye usenokuba namava okwahlukileyo kumxholo.
1. Utyholwa ngento yonke engahambi kakuhle.
Ukuba ibill ayikhange ihlawulwe ngexesha, kungenxa yokuba uphazamise umntu ngelixa bezama ukukwenza. Ukuba kukho into ehamba kakubi kwifriji, kungenxa yokuba awupheki ngokwaneleyo.
Abanye oomama be-narcissist bade bagxeke abantwana babo ngenkqubo yabo yokuguga yendalo (okt ukuba inzala yabo ibingazalwanga, ngesele bekwiminyaka yabo yobudala).
2. Umntu okuphatha gadalala ubeka isimilo sakhe kuwe.
Banokukungxolisa, emva koko bakucaphukise 'uphakamise ilizwi lakho.' Okanye baya kwenza into yokuzibandakanya ngokupheleleyo, kodwa bakugxeke ngenxa yokuzingca.
Umntu ophethe gadalala angangcungcuthekisa imayonesi emlonyeni wabo, kodwa bakubize ngokuba uligwinya phakathi kweenkonjane.
3. Ukuxhatshazwa ngamazwi akupheli.
Ukuba unesibindi sokuhlala phantsi okomzuzwana emva kokwenza imisebenzi emininzi yeeyure, ke uyonqena kwaye awunamsebenzi. Unama-95% kuphela kuvavanyo lwakho endaweni ye-100%? Ke usisiyatha nawe.
4. Impumelelo yakho kunye nempumelelo yakho ayithathelwa phantsi.
Unokugculelwa ngokufezekisa into ethile, okanye impumelelo yakho ayinakwamkelwa konke konke.
Umxhaphazi (abaxhaphazi) angayijongela phantsi okanye ayonakalise impumelelo yakho, aze ke ayijike ijonge kuwe. Umzekelo, banokuphulukana nomsitho wokuthweswa isidanga ekholejini, emva koko banyanzelisa ukuba ibe yimpazamo yakho ukuba ungabaxeleli umhla / ixesha elifanelekileyo.
5. Ukuxhatshazwa akuhoywa ngabanye.
Amanye amalungu osapho angabona ukuba nguwe lowo uxhatshazwe kakhulu, kwaye ukhethe ukujonga kude okanye ukubukela kancinci okwenzekayo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba nguwe oxhatshaziweyo, emva koko bakhuselekile okwangoku. Abanye basenokude bathelele nabo ngexesha leentlonti ukuzama ukuzenza bathandwe ngumngcungcuthekisi wakho.
6. Impatho-gadalala isenokudlulela ngaphaya kosapho.
Umxhaphazi wakho angakhuthaza abahlobo bosapho njl. Njl. Baya kubaxelela ubuxoki ngawe, bahlekise ngawe, kwaye babonakale ngathi kulungile ukuba wonke umntu azibandakanye kwaye akungcungcuthekise.
Kwaye ukuba uzama ukuzikhusela, kuyacaca ukuba ujongile kwaye uyadlala.
7. Uhlala udlala indawo yomsindisi.
Nokuba uphethwe gadalala kangakanani, ukwayiyo nakanjani ukuba wonke umntu uya kulila kuye nanini na kukho ingxaki.
Oku kungenxa yokuba unamandla kakhulu, kwaye bayayazi. Ke bayakucela uncedo lwakho njengoko kufuneka, emva koko bajike bakuphathe njengesiqa kwakhona nje ukuba ingxaki idlule.
8. Uxhatshazo olo lubonakala kwintlalo-ntle yakho.
Okulusizi kukuba, abantu abaninzi abazi nokuba bazi ukuba bayingxibi yomtshato iminyaka. Kubo, lolu luhlobo kuphela lobomi bosapho abakhe balwazi. Benza uxinzelelo ngaphakathi, baphele ngoxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kunye / okanye ukuphazamiseka ekutyeni, kwaye batyibilike ngokusemandleni abo.
Abanye bayavala ngokweemvakalelo ukuze bakwazi ukusingatha le nto bajongana nayo. Bayaphaphatheka kwaye abaziva kakhulu ngayo nantoni na. Njengoko unokuthelekelela, oku kuphelela ekudaleni iingxaki kulwalamano lwabo lwamandla njengoko bekhula.
Ujongana njani nokuPhendula ekubeni nguSapho oLuhlaselayo?
Ngaphambi kokuba singene koku, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba uyakufumana inkohlakalo kunye nokubuyela umva nokuba wenza ntoni.
Ke ukuba ufuna ukuba olu hlobo lokuziphatha luphele, zilungiselele zonke izinto ezimbi ngelixa inkqubo iqhubeka.
Okokuqala nokuphambili, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba usapho lwe-Azazeli luhlala luluqilima kuwo wonke umntu obandakanyekayo.
AmaNarcissists kunye nabanye abakhohlisi badlala nje ngabo balawulwa ngokulula, kuba zilula ukukhetha. Bondla amandla abo emvakalelo.
Abo banobuntu obomeleleyo kunye nabalinganiswa babonwa njengezisongelo. Ngenxa yoko, eyona nto bajolise kuyo yeyona nkohlakalo bayoyikayo, ezantsi ezantsi.
Benza konke okusemandleni abo ukuthoba, ukuhlukumeza, ukuhlazisa, ukutyhola, kunye nokusika abo babona njengesoyikiso, ukuze bagcine isikhundla sabo samandla.
Ukuba uye waqonda ukuba ungoyena mntu uguqukayo kule nto inamandla, ke siyakubulela!
Ewe, le meko iyangcangcazela, kodwa ikwathetha ukuba unamandla kakhulu kunokuba ukhe wavunyelwa ukuba ukholelwe.
Ngenxa yoko, eyona nto intle onokuyenza ukuze uqale NGOKWAKHO ukoyikeka kwakho.
Oku kunokuba nzima ukuba umxhaphazi lowo wakho uye wakuphelisa ukuzithemba kwakho ekuhambeni kweminyaka. Uya kudinga ukwakha imvakalelo yesiqu sakho, kwaye ngokwenyani, ngokwenyani uqonde kwaye uqonde ukuba ufanelwe yintlonipho, isidima nothando njengaye nawuphi na umntu.
Ngoku, kufuneka wenze ntoni ngabo?
1. Babize ngokuziphatha kwabo kwangoko.
Oku kunokuba ngumbono owoyikisayo, ngakumbi ukuba uye wazibamba ekujonganeni nabo malunga nokuziphatha okungalunganga ngaphambili. Kwaye kulungile. Unamandla kwaye ukhaliphile kunokuba ucinga, kungenjalo ngekhe uphathwe kakubi.
Ukuba bathetha into kuwe eyenzakalisayo okanye ekhubekisayo, yeka lento uyenzayo, kwaye ujonge emehlweni. Bamba amehlo okomzuzwana, emva koko, ngelizwi elicacileyo nelomeleleyo, thetha into ukuze:
Le nto ubuyithetha kum ayamkelekanga kwaphela. Andifuni ukuphinda ndithethwe ngale ndlela kwakhona. ”
Emva koko uhambe.
Zilungiselele ukubuyela umva ngokunzulu kuloo nto, kodwa bamba umhlaba wakho. Ukuba ngumzali wakho ombizayo, usenokuphawulwa njengongenantlonelo. Ungathini ukuba uthethe nabo ngaloo ndlela!
Phinda le nto ubuyithethe ngaphambili, kwaye ubaxelele ukuba bacinge ngendlela abathethe ngayo nawe. Ukuba kunokubakho indalo iphela apho kufanelekileyo ukuthetha nawe ngaloo ndlela, kodwa ayisiyiyo le.
Shiya igumbi, ushiye indlu njengoko kufuneka. Banike ixesha nendawo yokucinga.
Ukuba ubuyile kwaye bangqubana nawe, hamba kwakhona. Esihogweni, hamba uchithe ixesha kwenye indawo iintsuku ezimbalwa, ukuba kukho imfuneko. Yenze icace gca kubo ukuba ugqibile ngokupheleleyo ngeenkunzi zabo *.
2. Kuphephe ukuqinisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo.
Xa kuziwa ukulungisa le ndlela yokuziphatha, mhlawumbi uzame amaxesha ambalwa sele. Uninzi lwabantu abazama ukubiza abahlukumezi babo ukuba bahlasele bade bahlaselwe nangakumbi. Bahlala bexelelwa ukuba bayazingca, okanye bangamakhosikazi edrama.
Abanye baya kukhanyiselwa ngerhasi: abahlukumezi babo baya kuyiguqula badlale ikhadi lamaxhoba, kwaye bajikeleze usapho luphele kulowo uzama nje ukuzimela!
Into onokuyenza kukuba uqaphele indlela oziphethe ngayo.
Umzekelo, ingaba ikhona into oyenzayo eyenza abantu abakungqongileyo bacinge ukuba kulungile ukukuphatha kakubi?
Abanye abantu abaye bathwala ubunzima bempatho gadalala baye 'bayijonga' bayivumela ukuba yenzeke kwixesha elide. Ngokwesiqhelo, oku kulula kakhulu kunokubuyela umva okungenakuphepheka ukuba bazimele okanye bazama ukulwa nabo.
Abanye baye babaphatha gadalala abo babaphatha gadalala ngeenzame zokunciphisa. Inkqubo yokucinga ngasemva koku kukuba mhlawumbi baziphethe kakuhle, kwaye banothando, kwaye bayapha, kwaye bayabanonophela, abahlukumezi babo banokungabi nenkohlakalo encinci kubo.
Ukuba yinto oyenzayo, yeka kwangoko.
Ungazami ukuzuza ukuthandwa kwabo bakuphatha kakubi. Ukwenza njalo kuqinisa ipatheni yokuziphatha kakubi kubo. Inika umbono wokuba azikho kuphela iziphumo ezibi kwizenzo zabo, baya kuphathwa ngcono ngokukuphatha gadalala.
3. Yenza umgama kwaye ucace malunga neziphumo zezenzo zabo.
Uninzi lwabantu abaye batyeshelwa, olona khetho lufanelekileyo ngumgama.
Ukuba ngabazali bakho abakuphethe kakubi, phuma uphume. Qiniseka nje ukuba unendawo ekhuselekileyo onokuya kuyo.
Okanye, ukuba abazali bakho bakhulile kwaye bayakuxhaphaza, jonga kwindawo yokuhlala umhlala-phantsi kubo ukuze bayeke ukuphatha kakubi.
umngcwabi vs brock lesnar 2015
Ngenye indlela, ukuba liqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho ebelikuphatha ngale ndlela, kwenze kucace kubo ukuba ngaphandle kokuba baqale bakuphathe ngentlonipho nangakumbi nesidima, kuya kufuneka ubuphelise ubudlelwane.
Ekugqibeleni, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu apha kukuphelisa lo mjikelo mbi woxhatshazo.
Sele ugqibe ngokwaneleyo.
Ngaba Ukuphilisa Njani Kwintlungu Ekuhambeni?
Le iya kuba yinkqubo ende yokuphilisa. Awunakulindela ukuba abaxhaphazi bakho (abantu) bazakuxolisa kuwe, okanye bathathe uxanduva ngokuziphatha kwabo okungathandekiyo.
Ukuba kukho nantoni na, baya kuzama ukuguqula izinto ukuze wonke umntu akuthiye ngokuzama ukonakalisa iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukuba ushiya imeko ngokupheleleyo, baya kubanga ukuba ubashiyile ngaphandle kwayo yonke into abayenzele yona. Baza kuxoka ngawe kwabanye, bazobe umfanekiso owoyikisayo ngawe, kwaye bazame ukwenza abanye bakuchase. Yilungele loo nto.
Ngapha koko, eyona nyani imbi malunga nayo yonke le meko inokushwankathelwa kwisivakalisi esinye:
Awusoze ube nobudlelwane obusempilweni kunye nabo bakususayo.
Yinto ebuhlungu ukuba uyivume, kodwa inokuba yinto enkulu kakhulu. Nje ukuba ukwamkele oku, uyakuyeka ukuzama ukuthandwa nokuhlonitshwa ngabo bakungqongileyo. Uya kuqonda ukuba eneneni abanako ukukunika inkathalo kunye nenkxaso ekufaneleyo.
Kwaye xa sele uziqhelanise nenkohlakalo yabo, uya kumangaliswa yindlela oya kuziva ngcono ngayo.
Kuya kuziva ngathi ukulilela ukufa, kwaye kuya kubakho amaza entlungu ngoku nangoko.
Unokufumana amaxesha okuzithemba kunye noqeqesho: ezo zilindeleke kuphela. Ngokuqinisekileyo uchithe iminyaka uxelelwa ukuba woyike kangakanani kwaye uzicingela wedwa.
Ngapha koko, ilizwi lakho elingaphakathi linokuba libaluleke kakhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha, unokukholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba uyoyikeka njengoko bezamile ukukwenza ukuba ukholelwe. Kulapho amandla abo avela khona: ukuzama ukukunqumla kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
Ke kufuneka uzakhe kwakhona. Nguwe omele ukuthatha onke amanyathelo ngokubhekisele ekuzinyamekeleni nasekunyangeni.
Uyenza njani lonto? Ezinye izinto ezilula onokuzithatha zibandakanya:
- Thetha kwingcali. Ukuba unako, ingangumbono olungileyo ukufumana umcebisi oza kukunceda kule nto. Kukho izendlalelo ezininzi zokukhupha apha kunamaqebengwana amdaka, kwaye baya kuba nezeluleko eziluncedo, ezinokusebenziseka kunye neendlela zokuhlangabezana nazo. Ungacofa apha ukuze ufumane umcebisi kufutshane nawe okanye umntu oza kusebenza kunye nokude kwakho.
- Zijikeleze nabantu abakuphatha ngobubele, uthando, nentlonipho. Khulisa ubuhlobo obuthetha lukhulu kuwe. Yomeleza kwaye uyenze nzulu kancinci ngokuhamba kwexesha ukuze ube nesiseko esiqinileyo sokhathalelo lokwenene kunye noxabiso onokwakhela phezu kwalo.
- Beka imida esempilweni nabanye. Ukuba uyaqaphela naziphi na iindlela zokuziphatha ezingenampilo okanye izinto eziguqukayo kolunye ubudlelwane, ngoku lixesha lokuba uzilungise ngokubeka imida kwinto oyithandayo nongayi kuyinyamezela.
- Yenza ibhodi yombono. Ukuba uphendula kakuhle kukuqiniswa kokubonakalayo okuhle, ibhodi yombono inokubonelela rhoqo ngesikhumbuzo sokuba kutheni usenza oku. Yigqume ngamabinzana afanelekileyo, iifoto kunye nemifanekiso ekhuthazayo.
Funda eli nqaku ngolwazi oluthe kratya: Iindlela ezili-8 zokuZikhathalela ngokweemvakalelo: Zikhathalele isiqu sakho ngokwasemphefumlweni
Yazi ukuba uyabonwa, kwaye uvile, kwaye ufanelekile.
Enye yemicimbi ephambili kwezona zinto zijamelene nosapho ezingakhange zibonwe, zive, okanye zikholelwe.
Uninzi lwazo luzamile (amaxesha ngamaxesha) ukwazisa abanye ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni emakhaya bezama ukufumana uncedo. Kodwa akukho mntu waphulaphulayo.
Ngokukodwa abazali be-narcissistic bahlala bekhohlisa bonke abangaphandle kwekhaya. Bavula umtsalane nanini na xa bekho kwabanye abantu, ke bayathandwa kwaye bayathandwa yisangqa sabo sonke ekuhlaleni.
Njengoko unokucinga, abantu abacinga ukuba 'bayazi' aba bantu abanakukholelwa umntwana okanye iqabane elizama ukubabonisa.
Ukuba i-narcissist isondela kuye nawuphina umntu malunga nemicimbi ephakanyisiweyo, banokudlala ixhoba, okanye bayichithe nayiphi na loo nto ngokubanga ukuba enye ifuna ingqalelo. Kwaye kuyakubakho isihogo esingagungqiyo ukuhlawula ikhaya.
Oku kunokukhokelela kwiindidi ezahlukeneyo zomonakalo ngokweemvakalelo ekuhambeni kwexesha. Umzekelo, ukongeza kwiziphazamiso zokutya ezinokubakho kunye / okanye ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo okukhankanywe ngaphambilana, abantu abaye baxwilwa badla ngokuba nengxaki enkulu yokuthemba abanye abantu.
Baye bakhuliswa ngengcinga yokuba abo basondeleyo kubo ngokuqinisekileyo baya kungcatsha ukuthembela kwabo.
Ukongeza, banokungaziboni iimvakalelo zabo, kuba bahlala bexelelwa ngokuchaseneyo noko babecinga okanye ukuziva.
Kwakhona, sicebisa ngamandla ukuba ukhuphe le kunye neminye imiba ngengcali yezempilo yengqondo kuba ukuphiliswa kwala manxeba kudlula ngaphaya kwenqaku le-intanethi. Cofa apha ukufumana umcebisi oza kusebenza naye.
Hlukana nomthwalo wothando kwilungu lakho losapho elixhaphazayo.
Khumbula ukuba uninzi lwabantu lubekelwe ukuba lucinge ukuba bathande amalungu eentsapho zabo ngaphandle kwemeko. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yile nto 'usapho' luthetha ntoni, akunjalo? Uthando nenkxaso?
Ewe, hayi.
Awunayo 'ityala' nabani na uthando ngenxa nje yokuba babelana ngeDNA nawe. Ukuba ufuna ukunciphisa ubudlelwane bakho nabantu abakuxhaphazayo ukuze uphile, yenza njalo. Kulungile, kwaye kuyakhuthazeka.
Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, uziva ngokungathi bafanelwe luthando lwakho ngenxa yobophelelo owabelana ngalo, nokuba lusempilweni kangakanani na, kulungile futhi. Iimvakalelo zakho zezakho, kwaye uza kuyalela indlela ofuna ukuziva ngayo okanye ungaziva. Kuyafana nokuba ukhetha ukubonisa ezo mvakalelo okanye hayi.
Kwimeko apho uziva uthandwa, kodwa ungafuni ukunxulumana nabaxhaphazi bakho, iphilile kwaye iyakhuthazwa ukuba ubathande kude. Usenokubathumela amandla amnandi, kwaye unethemba lokuphila kwabo kunye nolonwabo, ngelixa ugcina umgama wokuzikhusela.
Kwakhona, ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba ukhuseleko lwakho ngokwasemzimbeni lungabeka umngcipheko ngokujongana nelungu losapho elihlukumezayo, sukuhamba wedwa. Funa inkxaso kwaye ulandele iingcebiso zeengcali.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungajongana njani nokuba yintsapho ebalekayo okanye ungaphilisa njani ngokwasemphefumlweni? Thetha nomcebisi namhlanje onokuhamba kwinkqubo. Cofa nje apha ukunxibelelana nenye.
Unokuthanda:
- Amanyathelo ama-6 ekufuneka uwathathe xa usika amaqhina nosapho olunetyhefu
- Iimpawu ze-10 zabazali abanetyhefu (+ i-6 inyathelo lokujongana nabo)
- Iindidi ezi-4 ze-Emotional Blackmail Manipulators Sebenzisa ngokuchasene nawe
- Ukuba ulawula abazali, UNGAZE unyamezele ezi zinto zintathu kubo
- Xa Umama Wakho eyiNarcissist
- Izizathu ezili-10 zomlingane wakho zikutyhola ngayo yonke into
