Andithandabuzi ukuba wonke umntu ophilayo unomnqweno wokufumana intsingiselo kubomi babo, kodwa ngaba - kunye NAWE - bafuna kwindawo engeyiyo kwaphela? Ngaba impendulo isijongile ebusweni?
Njengoko abo bafunde ibali lam lokuzinceda baya kwazi, ndingumlandeli omkhulu wemisebenzi yengqondo uViktor Frankl kunye nokugxila kwakhe ekufumaneni intsingiselo njengendlela yokujongana namahla ndinyuka obomi. Ewe, andinakunceda kodwa ndibone intsingiselo, okanye ukunqongophala kwayo, kwiinkolelo nakwizenzo zabantu, kokubini ebomini bam nakwilizwe elibanzi.
ndi empath ngoku ngoku
Kodwa ukufuna intsingiselo kuhlala kuyinto abantu abalwa nayo kuba ayibonakali kwangoko apho ubani anokujonga khona ukuyifumana. Abanye abantu bajonge kubutyebi, abanye kumagunya, abanye kusukelo lokonwaba nokuba sekumnyam 'entla, bambi bencama nje kwaphela.
Ngaba kukho nasiphi na isandi esiqhelekileyo?
Ukuba ngumntu uhlala ekhomba, kwaye eyalelwa, kwinto ethile okanye komnye umntu, ingenguye-inokuba yintsingiselo yokufezekisa okanye omnye umntu odibana naye.
UFrankl, owasinda kwiinkampu zoxinaniso zamaNazi, wacebisa ukuba intsingiselo ivela kwimithombo emibini ephambili:
- Uthando kunye nolunye.
- Unobangela omkhulu kunawe.
Ndizakuphikisa apha ukuba eyesibini kwezi ilulwandiso lokuqala kwaye, nangona ufumanisa injongo ebomini bakho , iyakuhlala ibuya eluthandweni phakathi kwakho neminye imimoya.
Uyintoni nje unobangela omkhulu kunawe?
Xa uFrankl ethetha ngesizathu apho unokufumana intsingiselo, ndiyakholelwa ukuba ubhekisa kwinkanuko okanye amandla ofuna ngawo tshintsha umhlaba ube ngcono . Uqukumbele ngelithi unobangela onje kufuneka ubengaphandle kobomi bakho ngamanye amagama, ngekhe wenze impumelelo yakho okanye ukonwaba njongo yezenzo zakho.
Impumelelo, njengokonwaba, ayinakulandelwa kufuneka yenzeke.
Wakubiza oku kungazenzisiyo okuthetha ukuthi ngaphaya kokuzimela. Le ntelekelelo ibhabha ngokuchasene neenkolelo zabanye abantu abaphambili abanjengoFreud noNietzsche- abacebisa ukuba eyona ndlela iphambili eya kulonwabo lomntu kunye nentsingiselo kukulandela izinto zangaphakathi ezinje ngolonwabo kunye namandla.
Imizekelo isenokuba zezoncedo zesintu ezifana nokunceda ukuphelisa intlupheko, ukuphilisa abagulayo, ukuthintela izifo, okanye ukufundisa abancinci. Okanye zinokuba zizinto ezinje ngokuthintela ukonakaliswa kwendalo, ukuqaqanjiswa korhwaphilizo kwezopolitiko, okanye ukuvusa abantu ekuhlaleni kunye nokuyilwa koluntu lokwenyani.
Nokuba yeyiphi na imeko, isiphelo sokubandakanyeka komntu kwisizathu akufuneki sibe yintsingiselo yabo.
Yima nkqo, ke ngoku uthi ndingayifumana intsingiselo ngokuzinikela kwinjongo, kodwa andinako ukuzinikela kwinjongo ngesiseko sokuba siyakundizisela intsingiselo?
Ewe, yile nto kanye endiyithethayo noFrankl. Awunakufumana nje unobangela, uthathe inxaxheba kuyo kwaye ulindele ukuba ubomi bakho buzaliswe lulonwabo kunye nenjongo. Kuya kufuneka uzimisele ukuzincama ngenxa yesizathu, kufuneka ubambe uthando lokwenene ngenxa yayo, kwaye ubungafanelanga ulindele mbuyekezo.
wenzeni ukuba uyathandana
Kungoko kuphela apho intsingiselo inokufumana indlela eya kuwe.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iindidi ezi-4 zaBantu abaninzi kunokwenzeka ukuba bahlupheke ngengxaki ekhoyo
- Ukudakumba okukhoyo: Ungazoyisa njani iimvakalelo zakho zokungabinantsingiselo
- Iindlela ezili-9 zoLuntu lwale mihla zibanga i-Vacuum ekhoyo
- Ungawuthintela njani umGibaniso weCrisis okhoyo ngeli xesha lokuKhula koMntu
Ukuzinikezela kwisizathu luthando nje olufihlileyo
Ingxoxo yam, ke, yile: nokuba siyintoni na isizathu sokuzinikezela kwakho, isizathu sokwenza njalo kuhlala kubuyela kuthando onalo ngomnye. Kodwa, njengoko ndizamile ukucacisa ngoxinzelelo lwam apha ngentla, olu thando luphakathi kwakho kunye neminye imimoya, hayi phakathi kwakho nabanye abantu.
Ewe, oonobangela abaninzi bajolise kwimpilo-ntle yabanye abantu, kodwa zininzi, ukuba azikho ngaphezulu, ezijolise kwezinye iindlela zobomi. Uthando umntu anokuthi alubonakalise kwilizwe elibanzi lendalo alikho ngaphantsi kwelo sinakho ukubonisa omnye komnye.
(Ndifuna ukubonisa ukuba izizathu zonqulo okanye nayiphi na into ngaphandle kokujongana neendawo ezingaphaya kweli hlabathi zikwayindawo efanelekileyo ukuba isekwe eluthandweni.)
Ke, nokuba usebenza ukwakha izikolo zabantwana abahlwempuzekileyo kwilizwe elisaphuhlayo okanye usilwa ukukhusela indalo yaselwandle ebalulekileyo kulwandle lwethu, ubonakalisa uthando ngemimoya egqithileyo eyakho.
Uthando yeyona njongo iphambili umntu anokuyinqwenela.
UViktor Frankl wayekholelwa ukuba amandla othando okusizisela intsingiselo ebomini bethu ayemakhulu ngokungenakuchazwa kwaye ndivuma ngentliziyo yam yonke. Ukufumanisa loo moya onokuthi unike uthando lwakho olupheleleyo sisitshixo sokuphila ubomi obanelisayo.
Ke oku kucela umbuzo:
Ngaba kufanele ukuba sibuze 'ngubani' hayi 'yintoni' intsingiselo yobomi?
