Sonke besikhona - udibana nomntu omkhulu, uthandana, kwaye ufuna ukuchitha lonke ixesha lakho kunye nabo.
Bayamangalisa, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ke yintoni engalunganga ngokuzintywilisela ngokupheleleyo kwisigaba sokutshata?
Ngaphandle kokuba likhulu kangakanani iqabane lakho kunye nobudlelwane obukwenza uzive, kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina ukuzimela.
Ukuzimela kubudlelwane kulungile kuwe, kodwa kukwathetha ukuba ubambiswano luya kuba sempilweni kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba lusebenze ixesha elide.
Nantsi indlela…
1. Lonwabele ixesha lokuba wedwa.
Siyazi, siyazi- kutheni uhlala wedwa xa unokuba kunye nomntu omthandayo?
Asitsho ukuba kufuneka unciphise kakhulu ukubona iqabane lakho, kodwa kuya kufuneka usebenze ngokuchitha ixesha ulilodwa!
Le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuzinceda usete kwakhona kancinci kwaye ujonge ngokwakho.
Xa sikunye nomlingane ngalo lonke ixesha, ngakumbi ngeentsuku zokuqala, siphulukana nenkululeko yethu kwaye sibambeke kakhulu kubudlelwane kangangokuba silibale ukujonga indlela esivakalelwa ngayo ngayo yonke loo nto.
Ngamanye amaxesha, kwenzeka nje njengesivunguvungu kwaye sishiyeke siziva sonwabile kodwa singenzi nto - asizikhethelanga ukungena, kodwa ke silapha, yonke imihla, sichitha ixesha ngalinye lokuvuka kwindawo yabo kunye nabo.
Ngokuba nexesha lakho wedwa, unokubona kwaye ucinge ngokucacileyo ngokwaneleyo ukuvavanya indlela oziva ngayo.
Ngaba wonwabe ngokwenene ngendlela izinto ezihamba ngayo? Ngaba uyafuna ukuthoba isantya, kodwa khange uqonde ukuba uzive njalo kuba yonke into… yenzekile?
Ezi ntlobo zemibuzo zikunceda ukuba ugcine inqanaba elisempilweni lokuzimela njengoko ucinga ngokwakho, wenza oko kukulungeleyo, kwaye uthatha izigqibo ngokuzimisela kunokuvele utshayelwe yiyo.
2. Qhubeka uchitha ixesha nabahlobo.
Kulula kakhulu ukuzintywilisela ngokupheleleyo kubudlelwane bakho kunye nobomi beqabane lakho- kwaye le yindlela entle yokubonisa ukuzibophelela kwakho kubo.
Nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka ugcine eyakho yeyakho ubomi buhamba!
Qhubeka nokubona izihlobo ezingekho kwi-bubble-bubble yomhlobo owabelana ngayo neqabane lakho.
Oku kubalulekile kuba usenokwahluka kancinane kubo - mhlawumbi, ngexesha lokuqala lobudlelwane, awukho 100% ukhululekile ukuba uyi-100% yexesha. Kunye nabahlobo abakwaziyo ngonaphakade, nangona kunjalo, unokuba nguwe kwaye uphumle kwaye uyeke.
Abahlobo bakho baya kukukhumbuza ukuba uqhubeka kangakanani ebomini bakho ngaphandle kweempawu zothando! Kuhle ukukhumbula ukuba unenkxaso nothando oluvela kwabanye abantu ngaphandle kweqabane lakho.
Nangona izinto zinokumangalisa ngoku, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuba namaxesha anzima kubudlelwane bakho - bubomi nje obo, ngelishwa.
Kubalulekile ukugcina ubuhlobo bakho ukuze, xa ufuna umntu oza kubuyela kuye ukuze ufumane iingcebiso zobudlelwane okanye ufuna ihlombe lokulila, awuzange uhlukanise wonke umntu ngaphandle kweqabane lakho!
3. Phuma kwibhola yothando amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Khumbula ukuba umhlaba wokwenene ukhona. Kulula kakhulu ukuba usongelwe kwiqamza lothando ude ulibale okwenzekayo kwihlabathi elibanzi.
Thatha ixesha lokuba nje ube ngabantu ababini abakhoyo kwihlabathi lokwenyani -Yiya kwisidlo sasemini uhlale ngapha nangapha, utye ukutya kwakho, kwaye uchithe ixesha eluntwini.
Usenokuba uqhelane nokutya ugxunyekwe esofeni, ukondla omnye kunye nokubhabha ngokucekisekayo. Oku kuhle kakhulu kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukwenza uzive wonwabile, kodwa kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukusebenza njengesibini (kunye nabantu) kwihlabathi lokwenyani, kananjalo, ukuba obu buhlobo buza kuhlala buhleli.
Esi sisikhumbuzo esikhulu sokuba uzimele kwaye ukhona ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho.
Unokwenza izinto ezimnandi kunye ngaphandle kweden yakho, ungaya emnyuziyamu kunye kodwa uzulazule kumagumbi ahlukeneyo, unokwenza into yakho ngelixa uhlala nomnye umntu.
4. Qhubeka usenza izinto ozithandayo.
Ke, uliphosile iklasi yakho yeyoga yeveki amatyeli aliqela, kwaye bayekile ukuya kulolongo lwebhola ukuze bakwazi ukulala nawe ngentsasa yangoMgqibelo. Inomdla, ewe? Usempilweni? Hayi.
Ukuze ugcine inqanaba elifanelekileyo lokuzimela kubudlelwane bakho, nobabini kufuneka niqhubeke nenza izinto ebeniqhele ukuzenza.
Asitsho ukuba awukwazi ukunciphisa kancinci okanye wenze ulungelelwaniso oluthile, kodwa kufuneka ulunge ngokwahlukana ngamanye amaxesha.
Sinokubanjwa ngokulula ekwenzeni ukuthanda izinto kuba sinokwenza nazo neqabane. Oku kuqheleke ngokupheleleyo kodwa kunokwenza ukuba izinto zibe nzima ngakumbi emgceni.
dean ambrose vs seth rollins
Usenokungakhathali ukutsiba iklasi ngoku, kodwa ungaqala ulicaphukela iqabane lakho ngokuthatha ixesha lakho elininzi.
Unokuqonda ukuba uyabakhumbula abahlobo bakho beyoga, okanye ukuba iintloko zakho ngokukhawuleza ziye zaba zimbi - oku akuyi kuba yimpazamo yeqabane lakho, nangona ufuna ukubabeka ityala ngayo!
Ukuthintela ukuphulukana neenxalenye zesazisi sakho kwaye uqale ukucaphukisa iqabane lakho, bambelela kwizinto ozithandayo, qhubeka usenza izinto ezikonwabisa, kwaye ufumane iindlela zokonwabela ukwahlukana.
5. Bambelela kwimilinganiselo yakho.
Xa sijoyina ubomi bethu nomnye umntu, izinto ezininzi ziyadibana kwaye ezinye izinto ziyalungelelanisa ngokwemvelo kufuneka zenziwe.
Ngeli nqanaba, kulula kakhulu ukulahla ezinye zeenjongo zakho kwaye ngovuyo ubhengeze ukuba uya kwenza nantoni na efunwa liqabane lakho.
Nangona oku kuyancomeka ngezinye iindlela, kunokukhokelela nakwimicimbi esezantsi, xa ngequbuliso uqaphela ukuba ukuhamba kunye neenqobo zabo endaweni yakho ayisiyiyo le nto ubucinga ukuba inokuba yiyo.
Endaweni yokuba nezo ngxoxo zingathandekiyo kwaye kufuneka ubuyele emva koko ukuthethileyo, beka unyawo lwakho phantsi ngoku kwaye ugcine ukuzimela kwakho ukusukela kusuku lokuqala.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, usenakho ukulalanisa kwaye ube liqabane elisempilweni, elilungileyo, kodwa akufuneki ushiye nje yonke into okholelwa kuyo kwiqabane lakho.
6. Beka imida enempilo.
Inxalenye yokuzimela kubudlelwane kukugcina ezo zinto ziphambili kuwe.
Isayina umntu ophulukana nomdla
Oko kunokuthetha ukuba uchitha rhoqo ngolwesiThathu ekhayeni likamama wakho, kuba yilento ubuhlala uyenza.
Lo ngumda osempilweni wokumisela kwangethuba, kwaye unceda ukuseka ulindelo lwenene kuni nobabini ukuba ubudlelwane benu buya kujongeka kanjani.
Unokunxibelelana neqabane lakho ngokunyanisekileyo malunga neminye imida - mhlawumbi ukuba usebenza kwindawo yabo ngosuku ngeveki, kufuneka bahloniphe ukuba awunakuphazanyiswa.
Ngokulinganayo, banokukucela ukuba ubanike indawo yokuxhoma kunye nabahlobo okanye badlale imidlalo yevidiyo kwi-intanethi.
Khumbula ukuba ukubeka imida akukho malunga nokusikelwa umda okanye izithintelo, imalunga nokulingana okunempilo kunye neendlela zexesha elide zokuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Imida ikunceda ukuxhoma kubomi obukade unabo ngaphambi kokuba ungene kubudlelwane, kwaye yeyona nto iya kukuxhasa ngokwenene nobabini kwikamva.
Kuya kufuneka wamkele ukuba iqabane lakho linokufuna ukwenza okufanayo. Ekuqaleni kunokuba buhlungu ukuba bafuna ukugcina impela veki simahla ukuba bachithe ixesha nabahlobo, kodwa kuya kufuneka uzive unombulelo wokuba bazimele kwaye banobomi ngaphandle kwakho!
Oko kuthetha ukuba banendlela encinci yokufumana inzondo yokuba ungoyena mthombo wabo ubuqabane , kwaye kusempilweni ukuba bagcina iinkalo zobomi babo ngaphandle kolwalamano lwakho.
7. Yazi ukuba zeziphi iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye zeziphi ezingezizo.
Olu hlobo luza phantsi komda osetiweyo ukusuka phezulu njengoko oko kuthetha ukuseta imida yeemvakalelo kubudlelwane bakho.
Oku kuthetha ukuba unokwahlula phakathi kweemvakalelo ezizezakho ngokwenene kunye nezo uzifunxa kwiqabane lakho kwaye uzipazamo ngokwakho.
Mhlawumbi baphantsi koxinzelelo emsebenzini kwaye oku kubonakala ngathi banemvakalelo kwaye bakude. Nangona kungokwemvelo ukuba nefuthe koku, akufuneki uthathe uxinzelelo lwabo kwaye uyenze eyakho.
Ukuzimela kubudlelwane kuthetha ukukwazi ukugcina ulungelelwano lweemvakalelo xa bengakwazi ukuzigcina, kwaye ngokuchaseneyo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kuhlala kukho iimeko ezishiya enye yeemvakalelo zakho uxinezelekile okanye ulusizi okanye unomsindo. Ukuba awukwazi ukwahlula iimvakalelo zakho kwezo zeqabane lakho, niya kuchitha lonke ixesha lenu phantsi komthwalo omkhulu weemvakalelo.
8. Musa ukuvumela imeko yobudlelwane bakho ukuba ichaze indlela oziva ngayo.
Kulungile, oku akukho lula ukuyenza, kodwa ukuba imeko yakho kunye neengcinga zakho zihlala zikho malunga nolwalamano lwakho, uzibekela ukuwa.
Isenokuba lulo lonke uncumo ngoku, kodwa lonke ulwalamano luza kubetha amaqhuqhuva ambalwa endleleni, kwaye kuyindalo ukuba nefuthe kwezi ziqatha.
Kodwa ukuba uvumela zonke ezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho - umsebenzi wakho, olunye ulwalamano, amaphupha akho, impilo-yakho yengqondo ukuba ichaphazeleke, uyeka amandla akho okuthatha isigqibo sokuba uziva njani.
Ukugcina ukuzimela kwakho ngokweemvakalelo, ungafunda ukwahlulahlula iingcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho malunga nolwalamano lwakho ukuze zingophisi kwezinye iindawo zobomi bakho - okanye ubuncinci, kungabi kangako.
Masikuphule oku: ukuzimela kubudlelwane akuthethi ukuba awusoze ulibone iqabane lakho, okanye ukuba kufuneka ulinciphise kakhulu ixesha olichitha kunye!
Konke malunga nokugcina izinto ezithile ebomini bakho ngaphambi kokuba udibane nazo, kwaye yindlela ephilileyo yokuqinisekisa ukuba unobudlelwane obulinganayo.
Isibini esichitha umzuzu ngamnye wokuvuka kunye singabonakala sithandekile, kodwa baya kuthi ngoku baqale ukucaphukisana kwaye batyholane ngokungabinabo abahlobo abasenyongweni okanye ukukruquka kuba bancame zonke izinto abazithandayo zokuchitha ixesha kunye.
Kunqande konke oku ngokuseka imida esempilweni kunye nokugcina imeko yokuzimela kwangoko kubudlelwane. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukungabikho kwenza intliziyo ikhule ithanda…
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungazimela njani kubudlelwane? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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