Sijikelezwe yimifanekiso 'yobudlelwane obugqibeleleyo' kwimidiya - indoda nomfazi abathandanayo, bonwabile kunye ngonaphakade.
Kodwa lonke ulwalamano luhlukile, kwaye yintoni esebenza kakuhle kuwe kunye neqabane lakho akuyi kufaneleka ukuba ulunge.
Kwabanye abantu, ukususa uxinzelelo kubudlelwane bomntu omnye kuyabanceda ukuba bazive bekwazi ukuzibophelela kumaqabane abo aphambili.
Inkululeko yokuba kunye nabanye abantu xa ifuneka inokunika indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye obuhlala ixesha elide.
Akukho bukhulu-bunye-ulungelelwaniso-yonke indlela yendlela abantu abathanda ngayo. Ukuba ucinga ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo buza kukunceda wena neqabane lakho ukuba nonwabe kunye njengesibini, kuya kufuneka ke uzame okusebenzayo kuwe.
Kodwa, kuluntu apho ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bungahlali kuthethwa ngabo, uyazi njani ukuba uqala phi?
Izibini ezahlukileyo ziya kufumana iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokwenza ukuba zisebenzele zona, kodwa nantsi eminye imigaqo ngokubhekisele kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo ocinga ngabo ngaphambi kokuba uthathe umtsi:
1. Qiniseka ukuba KUTHENI ufuna ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo.
Phambi kokuba uqale ubenobudlelwane obuvulekileyo, qiniseka ukuba uthatha ixesha lokucinga ukuba kutheni enye ilungele nina nobabini.
Ukuze ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo busebenze ngaphandle kokuqhuba ngaphandle kwakho kunye neqabane lakho, kufuneka nobabini nilufune njengolunye.
Ukuba umbono uqhutywa ngomnye wenu, ke sele nisendleleni eya kwintlekele.
Ukumema abanye abantu kubudlelwane bakho kuya kucela okuninzi kuni nobabini malunga nokuthembana, intlonipho nothando omnye komnye. Ayisiyonto ungena kuyo ngenxa yezizathu zokuzingca okanye ukukholisa iqabane lakho.
Ukuba ubenzela oku, uya kubeka phambili iimfuno zabo ngaphezulu kwezakho. Kwaye nakweyiphi na ubudlelwane, ukubeka iimfuno zomlingane wakho ngaphezu kweendlela zakho kuthetha ukuba awuzixabisanga ngokwaneleyo kwintsebenziswano.
Phosa omnye umfana / intombazana okanye abafana / amantombazana amaninzi kumxube, kwaye uya kugcina unomsindo, unomona, kwaye usengozini yokuphulukana nokuzithemba kwakho.
Phambi kokuba uvumelane nobudlelwane obuvulekileyo, thatha ixesha lokucinga nyani malunga nokuba kutheni uzama le nto kwaye uqiniseke ukuba nobabini kwiphepha elinye.
Iinjongo zakho kufuneka zinyaniseke ekuncedeni ulwalamano lwakho oluphambili, ungaphili ngokucinga ngokuzingca.
2. Thatha isigqibo sokuba YINTONI oyifunayo kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo.
Phambi kokuba ungene kuyo nayiphi na into engaphandle kobudlelwane bakho, chitha ixesha uxoxa neqabane lakho ukuba ingaba yintoni enifuna ukuyifumana ngokudibana nabanye abantu.
Ngaba ngesondo okanye malunga nokufumana unxibelelwano olutsha? Ngaba kukho nayiphi na into ekwenza ungonwabi?
inkwenkwe endithandana nayo inexabiso eliphantsi
Kubalulekile ukuva ukuba kutheni uziva wena ngamnye kufuneka uzame oku ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele kwaye uchaze nayiphi na indawo ekungayi kuyo.
Ukuba nezi ncoko kunokuziva ungaqhelekanga ekuqaleni, kodwa kuya kufuneka uqhele ukubeka yonke into etafileni ukuze unike isiseko esomeleleyo sokuthembana eninokusebenzela kuso.
3. Xoxa ngemida yakho ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukungena kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo okokuqala kuya kuthatha uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo kuni nobabini njengoko nisiqhela umbono womntu omthandayo ukuba kunye nabanye abantu.
Unokuziva unomona, ungazithembi, kwaye usenokudideka njengoko uqala ngokuzama ukuziqhelanisa nale meko intsha.
Kunganzima ukuthetha ngezi mvakalelo nabanye abantu abangasiqondiyo isizathu sokuba uzama ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo, ke kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho eliphambili ukuba wabelane ngezi mvakalelo.
Kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo ngemithetho embalwa oza kunamathela kuyo ukuze unincede nobabini nikhuseleke ngokwasemoyeni kunye nolwalamano kangangoko.
Unokukhetha ubudlelwane bangaphandle ukuba ubelane ngesondo kuphela ngaphandle kokuthandana. Unokukhetha ukugcina izinto ezithile zingcwele kwiqabane lakho lokuqala.
Ke thetha malunga nokuba yintoni enokukukhathaza ngokweemvakalelo ukuba bezinokwenzeka nabanye abantu kwaye babeke imida ecacileyo ukuba basebenze nayo.
Gxila nzulu kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo ukufumana izinto ongazenziyo, kunye nokunceda nina nobabini nizive nikhululekile kwaye nilungele imvakalelo kangangoko ninako.
Phinda ujonge le mithetho njengoko ubudlelwane bakho obuvulekileyo buqhubeka kwaye uqhubeke ukongeza okanye ukutshintsha ngayo nayiphi na indlela esebenza ngcono kuwe.
4. Beka imida yakho yomzimba.
Kanye njengoko ufuna ukuxoxa nge imida yeemvakalelo , imida ebonakalayo ibalulekile nayo.
Kuya kufuneka uthethe ngokweenkcukacha malunga nokuba ukhululekile na ngaphandle kunye nokuba neentlobano zesini kunye nokuba yeyiphi imida yesini onokuba nayo namanye amaqabane.
Ukuba ukhetha ukuba nolwalamano oluvulekileyo ngokwesondo kunye namaqabane amaninzi, khumbula ukuhlala usenza isondo elikhuselekileyo ukukhusela wena kunye nempilo yeqabane lakho.
Udibana njani nabantu abatsha yinto ekufuneka uthethe ngayo- ngaba uyahamba emva kobudlelwane obutsha okanye ulinde ithuba elivelayo? Ngaba wonwabile kwiqabane lakho lokudibana nabantu abatsha bebodwa?
Ukuba nokuqonda ukuba bobabini bakhululekile kuya kunceda ukugcina loo ntembelo kubudlelwane bakho bokuqala ikhuselekile.
Ukhuseleko lwakho ngokwasemzimbeni kufuneka luhlale luphambili. Njalo qinisekisa ukuba umntu othile, ukuba ayinguye iqabane lakho eliphambili, uyazi ukuba uphi ukuba udibana nomntu omtsha kwaye uzama ukugcina ukuthandana kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke.
5. Gqiba amaxesha akho.
Njengokuba kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo kuya kuthetha ukuba ingqalelo yakho ikwabanye abantu, kuya kufuneka ube ngqongqo xa usika kwaye ujonge kwiqabane elinye.
Iya kuba sisenzo sokugweba ekungekho wonke umntu oza kuso. Akukho mntu uyithandayo imvakalelo yokungamanyelwa okanye ukuxabiswa, ngakumbi ukuba kungenxa yokuba iqabane lakho lidlala ngothando nomnye umntu .
Cwangcisa umda wexesha elifanelekileyo kubo bonke ubudlelwane bakho ukuze ukwazi ukunika ingqalelo yakho nakubani na onaye ngelo xesha.
Unokugcina ubudlelwane bakho obuphambili kwiintsuku ezithile zeveki, okanye uthathe isigqibo sokungathumeli imiyalezo kwabanye abantu xa ukunye.
Nantoni na ekusebenzela, fumana indlela yokunika umntu ngamnye ixesha elimfaneleyo.
6. Soloko ubeka kuqala ubudlelwane bakho bokuqala.
Ukuba kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo akuthethi ukuba ukhathalele iqabane lakho eliphambili nangayiphi na indlela nje eyahlukileyo yokuba nomntu.
Kulula ukutshayelwa kwinto ethile kuba intsha kwaye inika umdla, kodwa ungalahli umbono womntu okukhuthaza ukuba uphonononge eyakho inkululeko yezesondo, ngelixa usakuthanda kubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo.
Umgaqo ophambili wokuvula ubudlelwane kukuba ulwalamano lwakho oluphambili kufuneka lube yeyona nto iphambili kuwe. Ungavumeli ezinye iiflings zingene ngexesha lexabiso kunye neqabane lakho.
Ukhethe ukuyenza kunye le nto, ke qhubekani nixhasa, niqinisekisa, kwaye nikhona ngenxa yomnye nomnye, niqinisekisa ukuba bayazi ukuba bangaphambi kwabo bonke.
7. Thatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukwazi kangakanani.
Ngaba uyafuna ukuva amagama, okanye ubone imifanekiso? Ngaba ufuna ukuva malunga nemihla yabo okanye ukuba baye balala ngesondo? Le yenye indawo yobudlelwane obuvulekileyo apho umthetho ekuvunyelwene ngawo uluncedo.
Nangona kunjalo uthatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukwazi xa iqabane lakho lidibana nomntu, zilungiseleleni nobabini ukuba niziva ngokwahlukileyo xa kusenzeka.
Ingakothusa indlela onomona okanye owonzakeleyo ngayo xa uqala ukuva malunga nolwalamano lutsha. Ukuba oku kuyenzeka, zama ukuthetha neqabane lakho endaweni yokuphendula ngokweemvakalelo.
Oku kuya kuba yindawo yokufunda kunye nobabini kwaye kuya kufuneka ujongane nezi mvakalelo kwaye nisebenze kunye xa nisiya nxamnye nazo.
Ukuxoxa ngobunye ubudlelwane kunye neqabane lakho kunokuziva ngathi ungumphambukeli ekuqaleni. Kodwa kufuneka ulungele ukuvuleka ngokupheleleyo ukuba yile nto uyifunayo komnye nomnye ukuze uzive ukhuselekile.
ukuba akenzi xesha lakho
Ekuphela kwendlela oya kuhamba ngayo kolu lwalamano lutsha kunye nobunzima kukudibana, ke gcina ulwabelwano kunye nokusebenza ekufumaneni ulungelelwano olufanelekileyo lwezinto ezisebenza kakuhle kuni nobabini.
8. Hlalani nijongana kunye.
Uninzi lwezinto ezenzekayo kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo kuya kuba nzima ukuqikelela nokuzilungiselela kude kube kwenzeka.
Ungathetha kwaye uthethe malunga nendlela oza kusabela ngayo ngalo mzuzu, kodwa de ube ulapho uyifumana, ngekhe wazi ukuba uza kuziva njani.
Vulani kwaye nilungele ukumamela indlela abavakalelwa ngayo abanye njengoko kuvela iimeko ezintsha. Qhubeka ujonge ukubona ukuba iqabane lakho lisonwabile kusini na ngala malungiselelo, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ukuba nobabini niziva ngathi ixesha elaneleyo lichithwe kunye.
Zama nzima ukuba ungaphenduli ukuba iqabane lakho aliziva ukuba bacinga njani. Yimeko ekhohlisayo ngokwasemphefumlweni ukuhamba, ke ukugcina indlela enamanzi kunye nokuqinisekisa omnye komnye ukuba nantoni na oziva isemthethweni iya kukunceda usebenze ngoku kunye.
9. Sebenza ngokuzithemba kwakho.
Nangona ukhuselekile uziva kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku, ukongeza abanye abantu kumxube ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kukhupha imvakalelo yomona okanye ukungazithembi malunga nokuthanda kweqabane lakho.
Phambi kokuba uvume kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo, akufuneki uqiniseke nje ngokuba uziva njani malunga neqabane lakho, kodwa kufuneka uzithembe ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuthando lwakho nesiqu sakho.
Nokuba sithini isivuno, kufuneka womelele kwimbono yakho yokuzixabisa kunye nokuzihlonipha, ngakumbi ukuba uziva ulingeka ukuba uziqalele ukuzithelekisa namanye amaqabane.
Kananjalo kuyakufuneka ube nokuzithemba ekuthetheni ngezinto ezinokuziva ungonwabanga, kwaye ube sesichengeni ngakumbi ngeemvakalelo zakho kunangaphambili.
Uthando nokuzithemba onakho kuwe kufuneka kube phezulu esibhakabhakeni, ke thabatha 'ixesha lam' lokuba uziqonde kwaye uzixabise ngaphambi kokuba uqalise ukucinga ngokwabelana nomnye umntu.
10. Zilungiselele ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busilele.
Ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo sisenzo esintsokothileyo sejuggling yexesha labantu kunye neemvakalelo. Nditsho nemithetho ebekwe kweli nqaku ayisiyonyani, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uyakufumana izinto zingalunganga.
Akukho qhosha 'libuyisela umva' kubudlelwane obuvulekileyo, xa sele uwele imida yokubona abanye abantu, awunakukubuyisa oko. Kufuneka ucinge ngendlela oza kuziva ngayo ukuba, xa kuziwa kuyo, uyaqonda ukuba ayisiyiyo le uyifunayo.
Ngaba ungaqhubeka ngokwazi ukuba iqabane lakho belikunye nomnye umntu?
Ngaba uyalixabisa iqabane lakho lokuqala ukuba lihambe lisuka komnye umntu omkhathaleleyo ukuba yile nto bayifunayo kuwe?
Thetha ngeziganeko ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukudibana nabanye abantu, kodwa uninzi lwazo zivulekile xa uqala ukwabelana nabanye.
Zilungiselele ukuba ungalungi ngomona okanye uliphose kakhulu iqabane lakho.
Zilungiselele kwiingxoxo kunye nokuphoxeka onokuthi ujongane nako njengoko uzama ukusebenza ngendlela enzulu yeemvakalelo kunye nendlela entsonkothileyo yokuba kunye.
Zilungiselele ukungavumelani kwaye ekugqibeleni nilahlekane ukuba izinto azihambi ngendlela obucwangcise ngayo.
Inokuba yeyona nto intle eyenzekileyo kubudlelwane bakho, kodwa inokuba imbi kakhulu. Awuyi kwazi de uthathe loo kutsiba, ke kuya kufuneka uthathe ixesha lokucinga ukuba ukubalahla emva kwayo yonke le nto ngumngcipheko ozimisele ukuwuthatha.
Ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo ayikuko ukuba uvuleleke ukudibana nabantu abatsha, kodwa ukuvuleleka ekubeni sesichengeni kwaye uthembeke malunga neemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho nakuwe.
Kwabanye abantu abatshatileyo yeyona nto ilungileyo yokuthintela uxinzelelo lobudlelwane bodwa ithuba lokuqhubeka nokukhula nokuzikhulisa ngaphandle kokuphulukana.
Akukho ndlela ichanekileyo nengalunganga yokwenza izinto. Qiniseka nje ukuba awulahli ukuba ngubani okanye yintoni ebalulekileyo kuwe okanye uncame ulonwabo lwakho ngokuzama ukukholisa abanye abaninzi.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga nokuba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo bukufanele, okanye ungayenza kanjani ukuba isebenze? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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