Ukuthandana njengabantu abadala kunokuba yimeko eyahlukileyo kunokudibana nomntu okwishumi elivisayo okanye kumashumi amabini eminyaka.
Ngexesha umntu sele ekwiminyaka yamashumi amathathu, amashumi amane, okanye engaphaya, sele efumene amava obomi. Amanye ala mava obomi anokubandakanya umntwana ovela kubudlelwane obudlulileyo.
Ukuba uthandana (okanye utshatile) nendoda enomntwana ovela kubambiswano lwangaphambili, emva koko ungena kubudlelwane nabantu ababini (okanye nangaphezulu), kunokuba ube mnye.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kwiimeko ezininzi zobudlelwane, kukho amalungu osapho awandisiweyo anokujongana nawo. Sonke siwevile amabali ngabantu abangqubana nabazali basebukhweni, okanye ukuba bajongane nabantakwabo abangaphantsi kwesiqingatha sempambano.
ngokwahlukana nesithandwa sexesha elide
Oko kwahluke kakhulu kwinzala yeqabane, nangona kunjalo. Xa sinobunzima bokutshintsha kobudlelwane nabazali beqabane lethu okanye abantakwethu, emva koko kubakho ukungavisisani phakathi kwabantu abadala abalingana noontanga abanokuqwalaselwa kwaye basonjululwe ngokufanelekileyo.
Ngomntwana, loo mntu mncinci uzisiwe emhlabeni liqabane lakho. Ngenxa yoko, umntu othandana naye (okanye umyeni okweli nqanaba) akanaxanduva lwentlalo-ntle yabo ngokubanzi banembopheleleko ebalulekileyo ekukhuliseni nasekukhokeleni umntwana wabo.
Babeka Umntwana Wabo Phambi Kwam!
Ewe, ewe. Ewe kunjalo. Yindalo ngokupheleleyo ukuba umzali abeke umntwana phambi kweqabane lakhe elitsha, kuba yile nto bayifanele ukuyenza.
Ukuba uthandana nomnye umntu, ngethemba ukuba nobabini ninabantu abadala abanakho ukuzikhathalela. Ukule ntsebenziswano kuba niyathandana, niyavana ngokuhlekisayo, kwaye nifuna ukwakha ubomi kunye.
Umntwana wabo uyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobu bomi, kodwa ngethemba lokuba uyaqonda ukuba iimfuno zomntwana ziyakuhlala ziza kuqala kunezakho… ngeli lixa zihlala zingumntwana okanye umntu omdala osakhulayo, ubuncinci.
Kuba kufanelekile.
Ukuba unobunzima kolu lwalamano kuba uziva ngathi umntwana ufumana ingqalelo ethe kratya kunawe, jonga okulindelweyo okomzuzwana. Oku kunokuba nzima ngakumbi ukuba awunabo abantwana bakho.
Xa ungumzali, ubomi bakho ayibobakho ngokupheleleyo. Awunakuqhotyoshelwa kwimbono yokuba ngokuhlwanje iya kuba ngumhla wokungaphazanyiswa, kuba awunalwazi lokuba izinto ziya kudlala njani kwiiyure ezimbalwa ezizayo.
Endaweni yokuba nethuba lokuthetha iiyure ngaphezulu kwesidlo sangokuhlwa osithandayo, kungafuneka uthathe umntwana kwi-sleepover kuba baphosa. Okanye ubase esibhedlele kuba baphule ingalo yabo betyibilika benyuka kwizinyuko ebhegini yokulala.
Nina bantu badala babini niye nadlula kwizinto ezininzi ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, kodwa anikagqibi kuyo yonke iyodwa, andibi kunjalo? Unabazali kunye / okanye abanye abanonopheli abanomdla kwiimfuno zakho de ube ukwazi ukuzimela ngokufanelekileyo. Ewe, ngoku yeyakho kwaye ithuba leqabane lakho lokuthambekela emntwaneni wabo (ren).
Ndijamelana Njani Nayo Yonke Le Nto?
Ukuba umntwana weqabane lakho usemncinci kakhulu, baya kuphantse baxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kubazali (babo) kwiminyaka eliqela okwangoku.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ungazama ukuba nobudlelwano obuhle nabo kwangethuba ukuze bakubone njengomntu abanokuphethukela kuye ukuze bafumane uncedo kunye nenkxaso, endaweni yokuchasana nomzali nothando lwabo.
Ewe, oku kunjalo, imeko enobungozi yokuxoxa. Abantu abaninzi bayathandabuza ukwazisa abantu abathandana nabantwana babo de bazi ukuba izinto zinzima. Oku kungathatha naphi na ukusuka kwiinyanga ezininzi ukuya kwiminyaka embalwa.
Uninzi lwabazali bakwenza oku ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa. Ngokuyintloko, bafuna ukuqiniseka ukuba umntu abathandanayo usemthethweni ngokwenene, okuthatha ixesha.
Abantu bathambekele ekuziphatheni kwabo ubuncinci ubuncinci kwiinyanga ezintathu ukuya kwezintandathu zokuqala kobudlelwane. Ngenxa yoko, akuqhelekanga ukuthandana nomntu ubuncinane isiqingatha sonyaka ngaphambi kokuba aziswe kuye nawuphi na umntwana.
Isizathu sesibini kukuba umzali usenokungafuni ukwazisa umntwana wabo kumzali omtsha onokuthi abe ngumzali de baqiniseke ukuba iqabane labo elitsha liza kuba semfanekisweni ixesha elide.
Inokuphazamisa umntwana ngenene xa besenza iqhina elomeleleyo kunye nentombi / nesoka labazali babo, ukuze loo mntu aphulukane nobomi babo ngokwahlukana.
Le meko yokugqibela iyatshabalalisa kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo, kuba abantwana kuya kufuneka bafumane ilahleko amaxesha ngamaxesha. Abazali babo bohlukana (okanye omnye waba ngumhlolokazi), emva koko umntu abazivumela ukuba bamthande kwaye bamthembe ngequbuliso wanyamalala… Ungayicinga imiba yokulahlwa abaya kuba nayo ngenxa yako konke oku.
Oko akukwenzi izinto zibe lula kuwe, akunjalo? Kunzima ngakumbi kuba abantwana bayakhula kwaye bakhule ngokukhawuleza. Ngexesha elidlulayo phakathi kokudibana nomzali wabo kwaye baziswa emntwaneni, banokuba bekhulile iisentimitha ezimbalwa, bafunda ukuthetha, balishiya ibakala, njl. Izinto zihamba ngokukhawuleza kwisantya somntwana, akunjalo?
Ukusuka kwinto endiyifundileyo ebantwini abathandanayo nabazali abangabodwa, izinto zihlala zilula ukuba umntwana ungaphantsi kweminyaka emihlanu, okanye ukwishumi elivisayo.
Abantwana abancinci kakhulu bahlala beziqhelanisa neemeko ezintsha (kunye nabantu) ngokulula, ngelixa ulutsha oludala lukwazi ukuzazi ngokwaneleyo kunye nokuzimela ukuze ungaziva usongelwa bubukho bomnye umntu.
Kukwinqanaba eliphakathi- masithi phakathi kweminyaka emithandathu neshumi elinesithandathu- eyona nto inokuba nzima ukuxoxa.
Abantwana bafuna ixesha kunye nengqwalaselo engaqhelekanga. Ukuba umntu othandana naye okanye umyeni wakho unomntwana, kuya kufuneka uyamkele loo nto kungekudala kwaye ufunde ukuziqhelanisa ngokufanelekileyo.
Kodwa Kuthekani Ngeemfuno Zam Neemfuno Zam?
Ukuba nokulingana ngokulinganayo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano lothando kubalulekile. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngulo mntu umkhethileyo ukuba abe nobambiswano lwexesha elide, ke ngoko nobabini kufuneka nibe nakho ukusebenza kunye.
Ukuba ibikukubini nje nina, niyakwazi ukuxoxa ngolu hlobo lotshintshiselwano olulinganayo ngokulula. Kodwa njengoko besichukumisile ngaphambili, baninzi ngaphezu kwesibini kolu lwalamano, kwaye konke kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo.
Ngaba uziva ukuba iimfuno zakho kunye neemfuno zakho zingahoywa ngenxa yomntwana weqabane lakho?
Ngaba uyatyeshelwa ngelixa umntwana efumana lonke ixesha leqabane lakho, imali kunye nengqwalaselo? Ngaba uziva ulilolo?
Okanye ngaba uphethwe kakubi ngumntwana wabo kwaye iqabane lakho lingenzi nto ngalo?
Yintoni kanye le ucaphuka ngayo?
Uziva njani ukuba umntu othandana naye okanye umyeni wakho ubeka umntwana wabo phambi kwakho?
Ngaba ngumbuzo wezibophelelo zexesha, ezinje ngezi zicwangciso ziphambili zedinala? Ukuba kunjalo, kuya kuba kuwe ukuyiqhelanisa nembono yokuba izinto ezinjalo zihlala zisenzeka. Iimfuno zomntwana zenza, enyanisweni, zibeka kuqala kunezakho.
Ukuba, endaweni yoko, yimeko apho umntwana ephazamisa ixesha lakho kunye kunye ngenxa yomona okanye ukungazithembi, emva koko yinto oya kuyidinga ukuthetha neqabane lakho.
indlela yokubhalela ileta intombi
Bekela bucala iiyure ezimbalwa ukuze ukwazi ukuthetha ngezinto ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa. Khetha ngokuhlwa xa umntwana ekwindawo yomnye umzali okanye utatomkhulu wakhe, okanye ukuba baneeklasi zangokuhlwa okanye zeempelaveki.
Yiya kwiqabane lakho malunga nenkxalabo, kodwa yenze ngendlela engabekekiyo, okanye engafunekiyo. Ukuphuma uphume uthethe into efana 'nentombi yakho iyandimonela kwaye izama ukuphazamisa ixesha lethu sikunye' kuya kubangela uburhalarhume. Uya kuthi gqi azithethelele ngokukhawuleza kuba kuyabonakala ukuba uzama ukubangela ukungqubana.
Kwangokunjalo, ukuza ngathi awukhuselekanga kunye nokuqaqamba kuya kuba yingozi. Uhlala ukhetha ixesha nonyana wakho ngokuhamba kwexesha kunye nam! ” izakuvala umyeni wakho / isoka lakho, kuba liya kuziva ngathi kukho omnye umntwana osweleyo olibamba ixesha lakhe, kunokuba iqabane lakhe liqonde yonke le meko.
Endaweni yokuthetha ngokuzolileyo nangengqiqo, kwaye uzame ukunqanda ukulila okanye ukudandatheka. Buza uluvo lwakhe ngale meko kwaye ucaphule ezenzekayo.
Umzekelo:
“Ndiqaphele ukuba (igama lomntwana) uhlala ezifaka phakathi kwethu xa siwola. Ngaba ucinga ukuba uziva engakhuselekanga malunga nokuba umi phi kubudlelwane bethu? Ukuba kunjalo, singamelana njani nale nto ukuze azive ethandwa kwaye ebonwa? ”
Bonisa iqabane lakho ukuba unomdla wokusebenzisana ukwenza le yunithi yosapho edibeneyo isebenze ngokuvisisanayo, endaweni yokubamba into oziva ukuba sisabelo sakho semali yamandla kunye nengqwalaselo.
Yiba liQela eliManyeneyo
Kumzekelo ongaphambili, ubonise inkxalabo ngomntwana weqabane lakho kunye nokuzimisela ukusebenza kunye ukwenza izinto zisebenze kakuhle.
Olo hlobo lomzamo weqela elimanyeneyo kufuneka lusebenze zombini iindlela.
ziziphi izichazi ezintathu ezichaza wena
Unokuzifumana ukwimeko apho umntwana axoka kumzali wabo ngawe ukuzama ukuvusa inkathazo. Okanye, ukuba bakuluhlu lwe-11-16 yobudala, banokuziva ngathi uzama ukubuyisela umama wabo, kwaye baya kwenza ngokufanelekileyo.
Kwimeko enje, usenokufumanisa ukuba abakuhloniphi okanye bayakuxhaphaza. Umlingane wakho unokuziva ngathi ubambekile, kuba abafuni ukwahlukanisa umntwana wabo ngokumohlwaya okanye ngokumohlwaya, kodwa abafuni ukuba ungahlonitshwa okanye uphathwe kakubi.
Le yimeko enzima nonke , kwaye kubalulekile ukukhumbula oko. Awungeni kwimeko yesiqhelo apho udibana nomntu omnye kwaye uhlakulela usapho olutsha kunye nabo: nguwe ongena kwicandelo losapho olusekiweyo.
Uya konke Kuya kufuneka uhlengahlengise, kodwa njengomnye wabantu abadala apha, kuya kufuneka ubenokuthambeka ngakumbi kwaye uqonde kunomntwana.
Zama ukungena kobu budlelwane nothando kunye nentliziyo evulekileyo. Endaweni yokuba nemibono kunye nolindelo lokuba izinto maziphume njani, funda ukuphendula kwiimeko njengoko zisenzeka.
Cela uncedo lweqabane lakho malunga nokwazi umntwana wabo ngokwemigaqo yomntwana, ukuziqhelanisa nenqanaba lokuthuthuzela lomncinci kunye neendlela zonxibelelwano.
Ukuba ungababonisa bobabini ukuba ukwicandelo labo ukusukela kusuku lokuqala, nokuba sekumnyam 'entla, kungekudala uza kuqinisekisa ukuba ninokuthetha-thethana ngento yonke.
Kwaye yile nto yintsapho, akunjalo?
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni malunga nesoka okanye indoda ebeka umntwana wayo phambi kwakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
Unokuthanda:
