Ke, udibene nomfana. Kwaye ubumthanda ngenene ngegama elithi, kodwa khange kube kudala wakhankanya ukuba unabantwana, kwaye ngutata ongatshatanga.
Awuzange uthandane notata omnye ngaphambili, kwaye mhlawumbi awunabo abantwana bakho.
Abanye abantu basetyhini babona ootata abangatshatanga njengogqibeleleyo hayi-hayi, kodwa akukho ngqondo idlulisa ithuba lokwazi umfana onokuba mkhulu kuwe, ngenxa yesimo sakhe sobuzali.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuthandana notata ongatshatanga kunokuba nakho ukuphazamiseka, kodwa kunokuba nokubaninzi kakhulu.
Kodwa akumangalisi ukuba ukoyiswe lithemba kwaye awuqinisekanga ngento onokuyilindela.
Ewe, wonke umntu owesilisa wahlukile, wonke utata wahlukile, wonke umntwana wahlukile, kwaye lonke usapho olunamandla lahlukile.
Mhlawumbi ukhona umhlolo , mhlawumbi uqhawule umtshato, okanye mhlawumbi akazange abenobudlelwane obunzima nomama.
Kukho isigidi esahlukileyo sokusetwa kwaye akukho bungakanani-bunye-zonke iimpendulo.
Ukuba ukhetha ukuthandana naye, ke wena kuphela uya kwazi ukuba kunjani ngokwenene ukuba kubudlelwane nale ndoda, kodwa Nazi izikhombisi ezimbalwa malunga nokuba ulindele ntoni.
1. U-ethe-ethe.
Ngelishwa, indawo esihlala kuyo ihlala isenza ukuba amadoda azive ngathi kufuneka azifihle iimvakalelo zawo, kwaye azabalaze ukuziveza. Oko kunokuba ngumcimbi kubudlelwane, njengoko besokola ukubonisa iimvakalelo zabo okanye ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye.
Kodwa abazali ngokubanzi banxibelelana ngakumbi neemvakalelo zabo kwaye baziva ngakumbi kwiimfuno zabanye abantu.
Uyabathanda abantwana bakhe ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na into esehlabathini, kwaye loo nto ibonisiwe kuye ukuba sesichengeni akusoloko kuyinto embi.
2. Ubona ngaphaya kwento engekhoyo.
Ukuba ngumzali yikhosi yengozi kwinto ebaluleke ngokwenene ebomini, ke amathuba okuba lo tata ungatshatanga akaxhonywa kwizinto ezingaphezulu kokuba abafana abaninzi bekhona.
Endaweni yokubeka phambili ukujonga, uya kuthi akhangele umntu onentliziyo yegolide anokucinga ngokuzisa abantwana bakhe.
Uya kukhetha xa kuziwa kubuntu bakho, hayi izinto ezingaphezulu.
3. Unesenzo sakhe kunye.
Kulungile, ke ngelishwa oku akuyi kuhlala kunjalo. Kodwa ngokubanzi, ukuba unabantwana ekufuneka ebakhathalele, emva koko utata ongatshatanga uya kuba namadada akhe ngokulandelelana ngokwezezimali, ngokomsebenzi, nangobuqu.
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Mhlawumbi uyazi ukuhlamba impahla, ukupheka isaqhwithi, ukuhlawula iirhafu, nokusingatha naluphi na uhlobo lwentlalo, kwaye wenza umsebenzi wakhe kakuhle, ngaphandle kokuwuvumela ukuba uthathe ubomi bakhe.
Ngokusisiseko, ukhulile, unako kwaye akadingi iqabane kumama wakhe.
4. Unezinye izinto eziphambili.
Ukuba awuzange uthandane notata omnye, mhlawumbi uqhele ukuba kwindawo ephambili yeqabane lakho.
Xa uthandana notata ongatshatanga, kuya kufuneka uqhele ukuza okwesibini kubantwana bakhe. Yiloo ndlela ekufanele ukuba yiyo, kodwa kunokuba nzima kuwe ukwamkela.
5. Akafumani iintsiba zakhe zingqubekile.
Nje ukuba umntu abe ngutata, bayayeka ukubila izinto ezincinci kakhulu.
Abanalo ixesha okanye amandla okwenza ingxabano malunga nento engafanelekanga ngokwenene ukwenza ingxabano.
Oko kunokuqala ukuqala ukukudibanisa nawe.
6. Unezibophelelo zemali.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba, njengotata, lo mfana unezibophelelo zemali ezingenakuxoxwa.
Ufanele ahlawule izihlangu zesikolo kunye namatheko okuzalwa kunye nezinye izinto ezingenakubalwa, kwaye ke, ubukhulu becala, ngekhe abe nengeniso elahlwayo anokuyichitha ngeempelaveki ekude okanye ukutya kunye nawe.
7. Akayi kuba nako ukuzenzekelayo.
Ukuba ngumzali kuthetha ukuba unezibophelelo kunye namaqhina. Abantwana bafuna ukucwangciswa kunye nolwakhiwo kwaye iholide yokuzikhethela okanye ubusuku ngaphandle akunakuba yinto enokwenzeka.
Kuya kufuneka ulungele ukwenza izicwangciso kwangaphambili kwaye usebenze malunga neeshedyuli zabantwana.
8. Unxibelelana ngokusondeleyo ne ex yakhe.
Ukuba uthandana notata ongatshatanga, akukho nto yokufumana into yokuba umama wabantwana bakhe uza kuba yinxalenye enkulu yobomi bakhe.
Ukuthandana nendoda engenabo abantwana, ngekhe ngesiqhelo uve okanye ubone i-ex yayo.
Kodwa ukuba uthandana notata, kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba uyinxalenye enkulu yosapho, kwaye kuya kufuneka wakhe ubuhlobo kunye naye.
Oko kunokuba yinto encinci kuwe nobabini ukuze nithethathethane ekuqaleni, kwaye kuyakufuneka nilungiselele ukubeka lo msebenzi kwaye nibeke ecaleni naziphi na iimvakalelo ezinomona ezinokuvela.
Undoqo kukuba nobubele ube nembeko ngalo lonke ixesha.
Uya kuziva enoloyiko olufana nolwakho malunga nemeko, ke ngoko wenza umgudu wokumbonisa ukuba uyafuna nyani ukwenza izinto zisebenze kuya kumnceda akhululeke.
Ukuba nobubele kumama nako kuya kukuthanda ebantwaneni, nakumntu othandana naye.
9. Uya kulindela ukuba ubathande abantwana.
Kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba ukuba izinto ziba nzima kule ndoda, abantwana bayo baya kuba yinxalenye enkulu yobomi bakho.
Ke, ukuba awubathandi ngokunyanisekileyo abantwana kwaye awunamdla wokuchitha ixesha ubangqongile, ubudlelwane bakho obukhulayo abuyi kuhlala ixesha elide.
10. Uya kuba ngononophelo ekwaziseni kubantwana bakhe.
Nawuphi na utata olungileyo uyakulumkela kakhulu ukwazisa iqabane elitsha kubantwana bakhe kungekudala.
Ke, musa ukulindela ukwaziswa kubo de ixesha elifanelekileyo lihambe kwaye nobabini niqinisekile ukuba kukho ubukho bobudlelwane bexesha elide.
Sukuyithatha inyani yokuba akakakulungeli ukwazisa kubo njengesithuko, kodwa njengophawu lokuba ulungile, ungutata onolwazelelelo.
Ngaphandle kokuba, ewe, benikunye kunye iminyaka kwaye usahleli ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho buyimfihlo , kwimeko apho iintsimbi zealam kufuneka ziqale ukukhala.
Kwaye xa ekugqibeleni udibana nabo, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba nantoni na inokwenzeka. Banokukhululeka kwaye bavuleke ukuze bazi wena, bamkele ubukho bakho, kodwa banokuziva benomsindo okanye belumkile, okanye bedidekile nje.
Kanye njengoko kuya kufuneka usebenze kubudlelwane bakho nomama wabo, kuya kufuneka ulungele ukubeka ixesha kunye nomzamo ekwakheni ubudlelwane nabantwana bakhe, kunye nomonde omninzi kunye nokwamkelwa.
11. Uya kulumka ngakumbi ekuba nzulu.
Indoda engenabo abantwana ikwimeko yokuthatha umngcipheko. Bangangxamela kubudlelwane ukuba bafuna, kuba oyena mntu uza kwenzakala ngabo.
Kodwa utata akanakuthatha loo mngcipheko.
Izinto ziya kuhamba kancinci kancinci kunokuba bezinokwenza ngenye indlela, kwaye inokuba yinto elungileyo leyo.
Inokukunika ixesha lokufumanisa ukuba zithini iimvakalelo zakho ngalo mfo, kwaye ungangeni ngaphaya kwentloko yakho de ube u-100% uqinisekile ukuba nguye lowo kuwe.
Ukuba uziva uphantsi malunga noku, jolisa kwinto yokuba kuthetha ukuba ufumana ukuzimela ngakumbi, kwaye unexesha elininzi kubahlobo bakho kunye nosapho. Ubudlelwane obutsha ngamanye amaxesha bunokuthetha ukuba ngequbuliso awunalo ixesha lomnye umntu ngaphandle kweqabane lakho elitsha, ke ukuthandana notata kunokuhlaziya.
12. Akayi koyika ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakhe.
Kungamthatha ixesha elide ukuba afike kwindawo ekulungele ukuzibophelela kuyo, kodwa kwelinye icala, kunokwenzeka ukuba alunge ngokuba neentetho ezinkulu, ezinzulu ngekamva kunye neemvakalelo zakhe ngaphandle koloyiko.
13. Uya kuyidinga inkxaso kunye nokuqonda kwakho.
Ukuba ngumzali yigig enzima, kwaye kuya kubakho amaxesha apho kuya kufuneka ukuba akhale egxalabeni lakho okanye kufuneka ancame okuthile.
Kuya kufuneka ufunde ubugcisa bokuxhasa kunye nokuqonda, ukubakhona xa efuna wena, ukuba nomonde kwaye ungamgwebi.
Ukuba oko kubonakala ngathi kuninzi ukubuza, ngekhe angabi ngumfana olungileyo kuwe.
14. Usenokungafuni abantwana abaninzi.
Lowo sele engumzali unokuchaphazela indlela avakalelwa ngayo ngokuba nabantwana abaninzi kunye neqabane elitsha-okt wena.
Le yinto ekufuneka uyifumene ngokuthe tye kwangoko xa uthandana nalo mfo (nangona ingekho kumhla wokuqala!) Kuba ukuba ufuna abantwana bakho kwaye akasafuni kwanto, unengxaki enkulu.
Eyona nto ingcono kukuba nazi apho ngamnye wenu eme khona ngaphambi kokuba izinto zibexakeke.
15. Ungaphezu nje kotata.
Inqanaba lakhe lokuba ngumzali yinxalenye enkulu yobomi bakhe kwaye uyakudlala indima enkulu ekubumbeni ukuba ungubani. Kodwa ayimchazi. Kuninzi kakhulu kulo mfo.
Unomdla wokuzonwabisa, izinto anomdla kuzo, amathemba akhe, kunye namaphupha akhe, kwaye ukuba uyayivula intliziyo yakho kuye, uya kukuvuyela ukwabelana nabo nawe.
Ukuthandana notata yinto enkulu, kodwa ukuba uzimisele ukubeka umsebenzi, inokuba sesinye sezona zigqibo zibalaseleyo owakha wazenza. Yiba nguwe kwaye ube nomonde, kwaye abanye kufuneka bawele endaweni.
Ufuna ezinye iingcebiso malunga utata ongayedwa uthandana? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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