Kunzima xa uziva ukuba iqabane lakho alikuniki ndawo yaneleyo.
Oku kunokwenzeka nakweliphi na inani lezizathu, kwaye kunokubonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Nangona kunjalo izivelisa, yinto ekuya kufuneka uhambe kuyo ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane bakho buhlale kwaye busempilweni.
Kwaye ayizukuba lula ukukhwela.
Impendulo yethu yendalo xa siziva sityhafile nakweyiphi na imeko kukususa thina, okanye siyeke loo meko ukuba ingasityumzi.
Oko kusebenza kakuhle ukuba sibhajwe phantsi kweduvet okanye sinamathele ekhabhathini, kodwa kwahluke kakhulu xa sisebenzisana nomnye umntu kunye nemeko yakhe yengqondo neemvakalelo.
Ngethamsanqa, kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokuzenza ukuze uxoxe ngale meko inzima.
1. Misela imida ecacileyo.
Yindawo enezigcayiseli ukubonisa ukuba uziva utyhafisile komnye umntu ngaphandle kokuba babe ne-clingier.
Unokufuna nje ukuziqhelanisa nomdlalo owuthandayo. Kodwa ukuba uzama ukubaxelela ukuba ufuna 'ixesha wedwa,' baya ungothuke.
Eli binzana libonakala likhuthaza ukungazithembi okukhulu kwabanye abantu. Endaweni yokuqonda kwaye ikunike indawo oyifunayo kakhulu, baya kuba namandla ngakumbi ngokuchitha ixesha kunye nawe, njengoko besoyika ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano.
Isibalulekileyo kukwenza kucace ukuba ufuna ixesha le-X wedwa. Yenze isixa esithile ukuze babe nolindelo olucacileyo lokuba niyakubonana nini kwakhona.
Ungachaza ukuba uchitha ubusuku obuncinci kunye nabahlobo bakho kwaye oko kubalulekile kuwe. Okanye ufuna ixesha lokufunda ngokwakho, okanye lokuzilolonga, okanye kungenjalo wenze eyakho into.
Ukuba bacebisa ukuba babhale kunye nawe kunye nabahlobo bakho, okanye basebenze kunye nawe, okanye 'baxhomeke' ngelixa usenza into yakho, yomelela. Lixesha lakho eli, nendawo yakho.
Banokuzama ukuphikisana okanye bathethe ukuba ukuba awukho kunye nabo, kuya kufuneka ubekhona kwinto ethandabuzekayo. Faka oku kwi-bud, kwaye ungabavumeli bagqithe.
Ukuba bayazingisa, rhoxisa kwaye wenze kucace gca ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ayamkelekanga. Oku kunokubonakala ngathi luthando olunzima, kodwa kunyanzelekile ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha izakuguquka.
2. Yiba nemfesane ngokungakhuseleki kwabo, kodwa ungabajongi.
Ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane, kuya kufuneka ujongane nokuziphatha kweqabane lakho.
Oku kuthetha ukuqonda apho bavela khona. Iindidi ezahlukeneyo zomothuko kunye namava atshintsha ubomi adlala indima ebalulekileyo kwinto esiyenzayo nesingayifuniyo, esiyifunayo, okanye esiyithandayo.
Umzekelo, umntu okhule eziva engahoywanga kwaye engafunwa ngabazali bakhe unokufuna uthando rhoqo kunye nexesha kunye neqabane labo. Ngaphandle koko, baziva benganqabisekanga kwaye bengathandwa. Basenokuhlala belumkile ngalo naluphi na uphawu olunokubakho lokuba baya kulahlwa.
Aba bantu banokwethuka besothuka nakancinane xa becaphukiswa, kwaye bemba iinzipho zabo nzulu nangakumbi, befuna ukuqinisekiswa kunye nothando ukuze bazive 'bekhuselekile'.
Ukuba le yimeko osukuzana nayo, ucinga ukuba bazakuphendula bathini ukuba ubaxelela ukuba baswele? Mhlawumbi neemfuno ezingakumbi kuwe.
Amandla afanele ukuba azithande kunye nenjongo yabo ayikhutshelwa ngaphandle. Okubi ngakumbi kukuba ukuba uyayikhomba le nto ngendlela ethe ngqo, kunokwenzeka ukuba iyenze mandundu imeko.
Kungcono ukuthatha indlela engathanga ngqo. Yisa ingqalelo yabo kwinto abanomdla kuyo. Iinjongo zabo, amaphupha abo, njl.
Bakhuthaze ngokudlala. Ukuba bayaphambana ngawe, iya kuba sisixhobo esinamandla sokukhuthaza, kwaye ukungalingani kokuqwalaselwa kuya kutshintsha kancinci. Baza kuqala ukugxila kubo ngendlela esempilweni kunokuba bathambekele kuwe.
Izenzo zithetha kakhulu kunamazwi kwaye zithatha ixesha elincinci. Zama ukwenza ixesha kunye nolunye olubalulekileyo lokuzonwabisa okanye lokudlala, kwaye iziphumo zinokukothusa nobabini.
Mhlawumbi lonke ixesha olichitha kunye ngoku ayisiyiyo le iqabane lakho eliyijonga njenge 'xesha elifanelekileyo.' Mhlawumbi ubukhe uhambe kunye, ubone imidlalo, uye kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, ujonge iinkcubeko ezahlukeneyo. Kodwa ngoku uhlala ekhaya ubukele umabonwakude.
Ngelixa oku kuqhelekile njengoko ubudlelwane obuninzi buhlala kubomi bemihla ngemihla, iqabane lakho linokunyanzela ukuba lichithe ixesha elininzi kunye nawe kuba ixesha olichitha kunye alinayo imilingo efanayo.
Ngokuphinda wenze izibini ezinyanisekileyo kubudlelwane bakho, unokuzifumana zikulungele ngakumbi ukukunika ixesha elininzi lokuba nawe.
3. Buza ukuba yintoni eyanitsala kunye ukuba niqale?
Kungakulunga ukukhumbula ngokungagungqiyo nangokunyanisekileyo into eyitsalele kulo mntu ekuqaleni.
Ngaba yimbonakalo yabo? Ingqondo yabo? Ingqondo yabo?
Yintoni le iqabane lakho eyakwenza ukuba uthandane nabo, okanye ukuthimbe ngokwaneleyo ukuba uqhubeke nobambiswano?
Nje ukuba ukhethe loo nto, misela ukuba ingaba ikhona into etshintshileyo ngaphakathi kwamandla akho. Ngaba uziva ukuba kukho into okanye umntu otshintshileyo kulwalamano? Zeziphi iimaski okanye amakhaka awileyo?
Ukuba uziva uxinekile, zibuze ukuba kungenxa yokuba bayaswela kwaye bayabambelela, okanye ukuba awusafuni luhlobo lwengqwalaselo abakunika yona ukuqala.
ungajongana njani nomntu osebenzisa ukungcola ngokweemvakalelo
Ngapha koko, qaphela ukuba ngaba eyakho Ukuziphatha kutshintshile. Ukuba udlala ngothando nabanye okanye uthumela iifoto ezikhuthazayo kwimidiya yoluntu, iya kuba yinto enkulu enegalelo kukungazithembi kweqabane lakho kunye ne-neurosis.
Ikwayinto ebonisa ukuba awusatyali mali kolu bambiswano, yiyo loo nto uziva uthambile.
4. Cinga ngendlela oziva ngayo?
Qaphela zonke iindlela oziva ngathi uthambile. Ngaba kukutshisa ngokoqobo? Ngaba banamathele kuwe ngalo lonke ixesha? Okanye ngaba bakongamela ngeemfuno zabo zeemvakalelo?
Enye indlela efanelekileyo yokuxelela ukuba uziva njani ngomnye umntu kukujonga umzimba wakho. Qaphela ukuba umzimba wakho usabela njani kwaye ushukuma xa ukwinkampani yabanye abantu.
Umzekelo, ukuba uchitha ixesha kunye nomhlobo osenyongweni, indlela omi ngayo iya kukhululeka. Unokuziva ulambile ngokungafihlisiyo okanye unxaniwe, kwaye ngokubanzi uziva ukhululekile.
Ngokwahlukileyo, ukuba uziva utyhafiswa ngumntu, usenokufumanisa ukuba womelele ngokomzimba malunga neepesenti ezingama-90 zexesha. Impendulo yakho ekuveni i-beep yefowuni yakho inokuba kukubhabha kunye nokuncwina. Unokufumana iintloko ezivela ekuqiniseni amazinyo okanye ekubambeni ubuso bakho.
Ukongeza, unokuphulukana nomnqweno wakho wokutya, okanye ube neengxaki zokugaya ukutya kwinkampani yabo.
Ukuba uchitha 'ubusuku bomhla' udlala imidlalo kwifowuni yakho, okanye uza nezizathu zokuba kutheni ungenakudibana, lo ngumba omkhulu.
Omabini amava obomi kunye nabantu banokuthelekiswa nokutya, ngendlela. Basinika iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokondla, kwaye baneziphumo ezahlukeneyo kwimizimba nakwiingqondo zethu.
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu yindlela esivakalelwa ngayo emva kwamava, kwaye oko kubandakanya ixesha esilichitha nabantu.
Ukuba umntu uqhubeka eshiya ukungcamla okungalunganga, okanye iingxaki zokugaya ukutya ukuze uthethe, lixesha lokuba utshintshe indlela otya ngayo.
Lo ingangumsebenzi ovulekileyo nothembekileyo wokutshintsha izinto zibe ngcono kuni nobabini. Okanye inokuba luphawu olomeleleyo lokuba obu budlelwane buqhubekile, kwaye nobabini nibhetele ukuya kwezinye iindlela.
Nokuba ngaba nina nobabini niyakhetha ukusebenza izinto okanye nizahlule, eli lithuba elihle kakhulu lokukhula kunye nokuphilisa.
5. Nyaniseka ngeemvakalelo zakho malunga nolwalamano.
Uziva njani ngokunyanisekileyo ngalo mntu? Bhala phantsi zonke iimpawu zabo kunye nendlela nganye yezi zinto ezenza uzive ngayo.
Umzekelo, unokuba utsalelekile kulo mntu kungekuphela kuba enomtsalane, kodwa bekwimeko yokuba sesichengeni kwaye ufuna ukubanceda.
Ngoku, iinyanga ezininzi (okanye iminyaka) ezantsi kwendlela, banokuthi bakubeke ngokuqinileyo kwimowudi ye-knight emhlophe. Oko kunokuba kukuxakekisa kakhulu, kwaye ngubani ofuna ukuba neentlobano zesini kunye nomntu ekufuneka elungiselelwe lonke ixesha?
Ngaba ubuchule babo bobomi kunye nempumelelo ifana neyakho? Okanye ngaba ungoyena mlingane unakho ukusebenza, ophumeleleyo apha?
Ixesha elininzi, xa abantu besoyikisa amaqabane abo, indlela abaziphethe ngayo ayinatyala kunokuba ibe ngabom. Bayakuthanda, bajonge kuwe, bakuhloniphe, kwaye bayakuthanda. Unokwazi ukwenza izinto abaphupha ngazo kuphela mhlawumbi ukhaliphile, okanye ukrelekrele, okanye unobuhle obudidayo nobunxilisayo.
Kwimeko enje, kusenokwenzeka ukuba baziva bengakhuselekanga kwaye bengaphantsi. Ukuba iqabane lakho livakalelwa kukuba uphumile kwiligi yabo, basenokuziva ngathi abanakukubonelela nganto kwinqanaba elifanayo ubanike lona.
Ngenxa yoko, banoloyiko olukhulu lokulahleka. Ngokukodwa ukuphulukana nomnye umntu. Umntu okrelekrele, onamandla, okhangeleka ngcono, unomsebenzi ongcono, impilo engcono, njl.
Xa umntu eziva engakhuselekanga, bahlala bezama ukuboyisa (njengokunyanzela, ukwenza izicwangciso ngaphandle kokucela, ukungena kwindawo ukuseka ubukhosi), okanye ukubambelela kubo ukuze bangalahli isikhundla sabo.
Mhlawumbi isithandwa sakho yibhola ye-manic yoxinzelelo, othetha ngokungapheliyo kuwe ngaphandle kokujonga ukuba uqhuba njani. Okanye, ngokuqinisekileyo uyifanitshala ebomini babo.
Bayakudinga ukuba uthethe nabo okanye umamele imicimbi yabo, ulungise iingxaki zabo, kwaye ususe iminqweno yabo, kodwa kunqabile ukuba banokuthi baziqwalasele iimfuno zakho.
Kwelinye icala, iqabane lakho linokukugubungela ngothando kwaye uzame nzima ukukukholisa kangangokuba uziva ngathi ukuzimela kwakho kuyathathwa.
Nokuba kunzima kangakanani kwiqabane lakho, kunokuba luncedo ngokwenene ukuphuma kubo iintsuku ezimbalwa. Ungazibandakanya kancinci nabo ngombhalo, kodwa zama ukunqanda nantoni na engaphezulu koko.
Baxelele ukuba ufuna ixesha lokucinga nokuvavanya izinto. Chonga into ekutsalele kubo ekuqaleni kwaye ufuna ntoni koku. Kuphela kuxa unokufumana eso sithuba sithuba phakathi kwakho apho unokucinga ngokucacileyo malunga nemeko leyo.
Unokuqonda ukuba uyamfuna nyani lo mntu ebomini bakho kwaye uzimisele ukwenza konke okufunekayo ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bube ngcono. Ukuba kunjalo, kuhle, oku kucacisa kuya kukunceda uthathe amanyathelo afunekayo.
Okanye mhlawumbi azimbi kangako konke kodwa ufuna ukuqhubela phambili. Ukuba kunjalo, zama ukuphelisa izinto ngokukhawuleza kunokuba uzitsalele ngaphandle. Ayizukukwenza nokuba yeyiphi na into elungileyo ukuhlala usenza ngathi izinto zilungile ukuba uyazi ukuba bagwetyelwe ukusilela.
6. Fumana iingcebiso.
Ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane, ngokucacileyo unemiceli mngeni engaphambili.
Ngelixa ungazulazula nihamba nobabini, kuya kuba lula kakhulu ukuba ucela uncedo oluthile kwiingcali.
Okokuqala, iingcebiso ngezithandani zikuvumela ukuba nivakalise iingcinga neemvakalelo zenu kwindawo ekhuselekileyo kwaye ninomntu onoqeqesho kunye namava kule micimbi umamele kwaye anike iingcebiso.
Le meko inokwenza kube lula ukuba iinyaniso ziphume kwaye kubekwe neendlela zokuphucula ubudlelwane bakho bemihla ngemihla kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Ukwazi nje ukuba ufumene amadinga qho kwiiveki ezimbalwa kunokukunceda ugcine uxanduva ekubekeni izicwangciso zokusebenza kunye nokwenza ubudlelwane obuphilileyo.
Sincoma kakhulu inkonzo ye-Intanethi ebonelelwe liQabane lobuhlobo. Ungathetha wedwa kunye / okanye njengesibini ukufumana ingcebiso oyifunayo. Iingcali zabo eziqeqeshiweyo ziyafumaneka ngexesha ukuze zikulungele ukusuka kubutofotofo bendlu yakho. ukuncokola nomntu ngoku, okanye ukulungiselela iseshoni emva komhla.
Isenokuba ngumbono olungileyo ukuba iqabane lakho libone ugqirha wezempilo ukuba imfuno yokuba kunye nawe ifikelele kwelona nqanaba liphezulu. Basenokuba nemicimbi ethile ekufuneka bayikhuphile kwaye bayisombulule, kwaye njengokuba unokwenzakala emzimbeni uhanjelwe yingcali, kusengqiqweni ukwenza okufanayo kukonzakala ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukuba bangathanda ukwenza oku, ungasebenzisa eli khonkco ukufumana indawo yonyango ekuhlaleni okanye efumanekayo kuthethathethwano kwi-Intanethi.
isithandwa sam asichithi xesha nam
Ekugqibeleni, isigqibo sokusebenza kubudlelwane okanye uhambe ngeendlela zakho ezahlukileyo nguwe. Ukuba izinto azisekho sempilweni kwaye awuyiboni indlela yokubuyela kuni nobabini njengesibini, awuphantsi kwesibophelelo sokuhlala, nokuba kunzima kangakanani kwaye nokuba iqabane lakho lingasithatha njani isigqibo sakho.
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