Ngamanye amaxesha, sonke sidinga nje ixesha kunye nendawo, kodwa xa kuziwa kubudlelwane, izinto azikhe zithi ngqo.
Kukho zonke iintlobo zezizathu zokuba kutheni abantu ababini abathandanayo benokuthatha isigqibo sokuba bafuna ikhefu kubudlelwane babo, kwaye ikhefu alisoloko lingumanduleli wokwahlukana ngokupheleleyo.
Ukuba ucinga ukuthatha ikhefu kubudlelwane bakho, nantsi imibuzo embalwa ukuzibuza yona ukuba uqiniseke ukuba uyayenza ngezizathu ezifanelekileyo.
1. Ngaba ukwahlukana sisigqibo esaziwa kwangaphambili?
Kukho uluvo oluqhelekileyo lokuba ukuthatha ikhefu linyathelo lokuqala nje kwindlela eya ekwahlukaneni.
Ngelixa ngokuqinisekileyo oko kungasoloko kuyinyani, inyani yokuba abanye abantu basebenzise ikhefu njengoluhlobo lwelitye lokuqhekeka olufanelekileyo kunika ikhefu igama elibi.
Uninzi lwabantu alukholelwa nje ukuba ikhefu linokukhokelela kubudlelwane obomeleleyo nobusempilweni.
Ngaphezulu, siyazikhulisa ukuba iqabane lethu liza kuhlupheka kancinci xa siphelisa ubudlelwane ukuba ikhefu libanike ithuba lokuziqhelanisa nombono.
Kwinyani, loo nto yinto emnandi nje esizonwabisa ngayo ncedani netyala .
Ukuba uyazi nzulu ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana ngokwenene, ungazikhathazi ngokucebisa ngekhefu. Kukuhlala nje kokuphunyezwa.
Umlingane wakho kungenzeka ukuba achithe ikhefu elibuhlungu ngenxa yesigqibo sakho, ngeli xesha usazi nzulu ukuba sele isisigqibo esaziwa kwangaphambili.
Kunzima nokuba kunokuba kunjani, kwaye kangangoko ufuna ukunamathela entlokweni entloko, ukuba ufuna ukuphelisa izinto… yenza nje.
Ngokukhawuleza iphelile, ngokukhawuleza ninokuqhubeka nobomi benu kwaye ndonwabe kwakhona .
2. Kutheni nyhani uthatha ikhefu kubudlelwane bakho?
Kubalulekile ukuba uthembeke ngokupheleleyo kuwe malunga nokuba kutheni uthatha eli khefu kubudlelwane bakho. Awuyi kukwazi ukusombulula nantoni na ngaphandle kokuba uyakwazi ukubona ingcambu yengxaki.
Ngaba yingxaki yonxibelelwano? Ngaba unengxaki zemali? Ngaba lukhona uhlobo oluthile lokonzakala kosapho olukuchaphazelayo? Ngaba uziva ngathi ulwalamano luyakuthintela kwezinye iinjongo, njengokuhamba okanye ukuhamba ngomsebenzi?
Ukuba unokwazi ukufumana ezona zizathu zakho zokuthatha ikhefu, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba uchaze indlela oziva ngayo kwiqabane lakho.
Ngokucacileyo unokunxibelelana nezizathu zakho, kokukhona ubudlelwane buya kusinda kwikhefu, ukuba yile nto ugqibe ukuba uyafuna xa unexesha lakho.
Qiniseka nje ukuba izizathu zakho zezi kusengqiqweni .
Mhlawumbi ufuna ukuthatha ikhefu ukubonisa iqabane lakho ukuba ukuba alwenzi utshintsho kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo izinto ziya kuphela.
Kodwa cinga ukuba unyanisekile na kubo kwaye ubanike ithuba lokulungisa iindlela zabo ngaphambi kokuba ucebise ngento enokubakho njengekhefu.
Okanye mhlawumbi ufuna ukuthatha ikhefu kuba kukho izinto ezinkulu ebomini ongavumelaniyo neqabane lakho, njengabantwana okanye umtshato.
Ukuba uyazi nzulu ezantsi ukuba akukho namnye kuni oya kuzitshintsha iingqondo zenu ngexesha, inokuba yinto yokuqhekeka ekufuneka uyiqwalasele, hayi ikhefu.
Kwaye kutheni, zibuze ukuba 'kutheni ngoku?'
Kutheni ufuna indawo kwiqabane lakho ngalo mzuzu?
Yintoni etshintshileyo?
Ukuthatha ikhefu kubudlelwane ayisiyonto ekufuneka uthathe isigqibo kuyo kubushushu bomzuzwana emva kwengxabano. Thatha ixesha lokuphola. Awufuni ukuzisola ngokuthetha kwakamsinya.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
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- Ungahlukana Njani Nomntu INDLELA ELUNGILEYO
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- Ukuwa Ngothando: Iimpawu ezi-5 zokuziva kwakho ziyaphela
- Ixesha elide leHoneymoon lihlala ixesha elingakanani?
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- Ukuba Uthando lwakho lufile, Musa ukuzixelela Ezi Ntsomi zili-8
3. Ngaba ukulungele ukuphulukana nabo?
Ukophuka lishishini eliyingozi. Nokuba unalo ixesha lokucingisisa kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba ufuna nyani ukunika ulwalamano lwakho elinye ithuba, iqabane lakho lisenokungavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo, nokuba alifuni ukuthatha ikhefu ukuqala ngalo.
Ngekhefu, akukho ziqinisekiso. Ukuba awukwazi ukujamelana nombono wobomi ngaphandle kweqabane lakho, unokufuna ukunqanda ikhefu, endaweni yoko usebenza nzima ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho ngezinye iindlela, njengokucebisa.
Mamela amathumbu akho, kodwa ungangxami kwisigqibo. Yinike ixesha elincinci, kwaye iya kukuxelela ukuba uyafuna okanye awumfuni ngokwenyani lo mntu ebomini bakho.
Zingaphi izizathu oze nazo ukuze uhlale nalo mntu zizizathu eziyinyani, endaweni yezizathu, njengokuqhekeka koqhawulo mtshato kunokuba yinto efanelekileyo?
4. Ithini imigaqo esisiseko, kwaye iza kuthatha ixesha elingakanani?
Ukuba uza kuthabatha ikhefu kubudlelwane bakho, kufuneka kucace gca nokuba awubaboni abanye abantu ngelixesha uhlukene naphezu kwetafile.
Uluvo lomntu wonke ngento eyamkelekileyo xa besekhefini yahlukile (jonga nje kuRoss noRachel), ke kubalulekile ukuba nibe nencoko engathandekiyo kwaye nibone ukuba ukubona abanye abantu ngexesha enikude ngalo kungangumgqithi wesivumelwano xa emva koko ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyinike enye indlela.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuvula ubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka wamkele ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba bona okanye wena ungadibana nomnye umntu ngexesha lahlukene.
Nokuba abahlangani nabani na abawela kuye, kuya kufuneka ulungile ngombono wokubuyela kunye usazi ukuba banamanye amaqabane.
Izinto ezinje ngekhefu liza kuhlala ixesha elingakanani nazo kufuneka zicacisiwe. Abanye abantu banokukhululeka ukuyishiya ivulekile, kodwa uninzi luthanda ukuba nomhla obekiweyo oya kuthi uphinde uyiqwalasele le meko, ukuze ungapheli uhlala kwilimbo ungazi ukuba liphelile.
Ukuba inde kuneenyanga ezimbalwa, kuya kufuneka ujongane nenyani: kukwahlukana, hayi ikhefu. Iiveki ezimbalwa okanye iinyanga ezimbalwa kunye neengcinga zakho kufuneka zanele ukuba ufumanise ukuba intloko yakho ikuphi.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo phambi kokuphela kwexesha ekuvunyelwene ngalo ukuba ufuna ukuba nabo, ungabuyeli umva kwangoko, kuba oko ngekhe kulunge kubo. Kungenxa yokuba uye wenze isigqibo sakho , oko akuthethi ukuba abadingi xesha limbi bodwa.
5. Ngaba uyafuna ukunxibelelana?
Kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba unganqumli unxibelelwano ngokupheleleyo ngexesha lekhefu ingaba yinto elungileyo kuni nobabini.
Abanye abantu, kwaye phantsi kweemeko ezithile, ukungabikho konxibelelwano kunokuthetha ukuba banethuba lokubona izinto ngokucacileyo kwaye bafumane umbono othile.
Uqhakamshelwano lunokusibangela sigwebe isigwebo sakho, kwaye umgama unokuba sisityhilelo esihle.
6. Zeziphi izinto ezenzekayo ngexesha lekhefu?
Ukuba awukahlali neqabane lakho, kulula ukuba uthathe ikhefu kwindawo ebonakalayo.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luye lwadlula apho? Ungathini xa urenta indawo kunye okanye ngokudibeneyo ungumnini kwenye indawo? Ngubani oza kuphuma ahambe kwaye baya kuhlala phi?
Ngaba umntu ophumayo uza kuhlawula indawo owabelana ngayo ngoku?
Kuthekani ngenja? Okanye ikati? Okanye nabantwana? Ukuba unabantwana kunye, uza kubacacisela njani kwaye iza kusebenza njani ngokubabona?
Okukhona zinxibelelene nobomi bakho, kokukhona kuya kufuneka ucinge ngendlela ikhefu eliza kusebenza ngayo.
Isithende sobuso sijika ngo-2018
7. Uza kulichitha njani ixesha lakho ngexesha lekhefu?
Sukuchitha ixesha olishiyile iqabane lakho ekujikelezeni ekhaya, uzonwabise ngeembiza ezinkulu ze-ice cream.
Ice cream inendawo yayo, kodwa kufuneka ulisebenzise eli xesha uzenzele izinto kwaye ufumanise ukuba ubuphose na ubukho beqabane lakho ebomini bakho.
Gxila kuwe. Phuma nabahlobo bakho. Thatha u ngokuzenzekelayo iholide. Zama ukuba iklasi yangokuhlwa obunenjongo yokuya kuyo okoko unokukhumbula.
Phinda ufumanise ukuba ungubani njengomntu , ngokuzimeleyo kwiqabane lakho. Zikhumbuze ukuba, nokuba banokuba bebemangalisa kangakanani na, akufuneki babe ngoyena ndoqo wolonwabo.
Kulula ukutsho kunokuba kwenziwe, kodwa nyaniseka kuwe malunga neemvakalelo zakho, nangona ungakhululekanga zinokukwenza uzive. Ke xa kufika ixesha lokuba niphinde nihlole izinto, nyaniseka kwiqabane lakho.
Ubudlelwane bakho buza kubuya bulwe, okanye buze buphele, buvumela nobabini ukuba niqhubele emadlelweni amatsha.
Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, uya kwazi ukuba sisigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Eli phepha linamalungu onxibelelwano. Ndifumana ikhomishini encinci ukuba ukhetha ukuthenga nantoni na emva kokucofa kuyo.
