Ukukholelwa ukuba isithandwa sakho sinokuba li-gay yimeko ekhohlisayo ekufuneka ujongane nayo, kwaye, ukuba ufunda le nto, sinokucinga ukuba uziva udidekile.
Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga indlela yokwazi ukuba umntu othandana naye uyisitabane, kunye nendlela yokujongana nemeko ngendlela esebenza kuni nobabini.
Khumbula ukuba lo ngumxholo onzima kubantu abaninzi ukuba bathethe ngawo, ngakumbi ukuba abakaphumi okanye abaqinisekanga ukuba baziva njani, ngoko ke yiba nembeko, nokuba ungacaphuka kangakanani.
Asihlali kwihlabathi le-binary, kwaye kubalulekile ukuba sikhumbule ukuba xa sizisa nantoni na ejikeleze isini okanye isini.
Kungokwemvelo ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zokuqala zibe zezokudideka, umsindo, okanye ukungcatshwa, kodwa, emva kokufunda oku, siyathemba ukuba uza kufumana ingcaciso- hayi kuphela kwimeko leyo, kodwa kwindlela yokujongana nayo ngendlela esele igcwele yothando nokwamkelwa.
Iimpawu ezili-10 zokuba uMlingane wakho abe liGay
1. Uthetha ngamadoda ngendlela yesondo.
Kulungile, oku kunokubonakala ngathi kuyacaca, kodwa sinyamezele!
Ukuba umntu othandana naye wenza ngokuphandle ukuthetha ngezesondo ngamanye amadoda, usenokuzifihla emva kwengcinga ecacileyo yokuba unomdla emadodeni.
‘Ukuzimela ngokubonakalayo’ yimbonakalo yesizathu. Ngamanye amaxesha, xa sizama ukufihla into, siziva ukuba kukhuselekile ukuyenza ibonakale icace gca kangangokuba ayinakuba yinyani.
Mhlawumbi uphawula ngendlela abanomtsalane ngayo abanye abafana, okanye enze ‘iziqhulo’ ngokulala namadoda.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, kunokubakho into kula magqabantshintshi kwaye enokuba uzama ukufihla umdla wokwenene kubafana.
2. Uthandana namanye amadoda.
Usenokuba uqaphele ukuba unokuba nobuhlobo namanye amadoda ngamanye amaxesha. Mhlawumbi wenza ngenjongo yokuphuma kwaye ahlasele amadoda (njengasentla), okanye mhlawumbi uyaqaphela nje ukuba indlela aziphatha ngayo iyatshintsha kwabanye abantu.
Oku kungenzeka ngokukodwa ngamadoda athandana nabantu abangatshatanga kwaye uyadlala ngothando njengendlela yokujonga isini sakhe.
rusev kunye lana ubomi bokwenyani
Unokuba neentloni ngakumbi kumadoda anomtsalane kunokuba esenza kumfazi onomtsalane, unokufumana isidenge kunye nokudlala ngothando, kwaye usenokuziva ngathi uyacetyiswa okanye ulala nabo.
3. Ubukela iphonografi ejolise emadodeni.
Ukukhetha amanyala akusoloko kubonisa ukhetho kwinyani, njengoko sonke sisazi.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uye wambamba ebukela iphonografi (okanye iphonografi yamadoda kuphela), isenokuba yinto anomdla kuyo kwinqanaba elithile.
Usenokufuna ngokunyanisekileyo amadoda, anganemibono ethile woyika kakhulu ukuba aphile ubomi bokwenyani- okanye angakhangela iingcebiso, okanye onwabe nje!
Kunzima ukwazi kule nto yodwa, kodwa kunokuba ngumqondiso wokuba isithandwa sakho sisitabane, okanye ubuncinci sinomdla emadodeni ngandlela thile.
4. Ucebise iimeko ezithile zomdlalo wokulinganisa.
Kuyafana nangasentla, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba into esiyithandayo ebhedini ayisiyonto sifuna ukuyenza ebomini bokwenyani.
Usenokucebisa ngendima ethile edlalwa ngabantu, okanye afune ukuba usebenzise iithoyi ezithile ezibonisa ukuba angathanda ukulala nenye indoda.
Ungaze wenze nantoni na ongakhululekanga ngayo, kodwa yiba nobubele malunga nendlela oyala ngayo ukuba ukhetha njalo.
Kungaba yinto nje yekinky anomdla wokuyenza ngokuzonwabisa kwaye ufuna ngokwenene ukwabelana nawe (kwaye ayisiyiyo mfo!).
Ngokulinganayo, isenokuba kukuphonononga elinye icala lesini sakhe, ke zama ukungamtyholi ngayo nayiphi na into okanye uxelele indlela oziva ungcatshwe ngayo ukuba ufuna ukwenza isini esithandana nawe.
Siza kungena kwiinkcukacha ezithe kratya apha ngezantsi malunga nendlela yokusingatha olu hlobo lweemeko.
5. Uye wabandakanyeka emadodeni ngaphambili.
Ngoku, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba amava esondo adlulileyo awasoloko ebonisa ukuthanda izinto zesondo.
Emva kwayo yonke into, isini sinamanzi kwaye into esiyithandayo kwiminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo ayisoloko iyinto esasiyithanda ngoku. Ngokulinganayo, uninzi lwethu luya kudlula kwinqanaba lokulinga!
Kodwa ukuba umntu othandana naye uye wanamadoda, okanye amadoda athandanayo, ngaphambili, isenokuba yinto asenomdla wayo ukuyilandela kwinqanaba elithile. Ukuba unembali yokuzibandakanya namadoda, isenokuba yinto esengqondweni yakhe.
6. Awulali ngesondo ngokufuthi njengakuqala.
Zininzi izizathu zokuba izibini ziyeke ukwabelana ngesondo rhoqo, kwaye oko akuthethi ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba umntu othandana naye ulifanasini!
Kungenxa yokuba engekho kwimood, oko akuthethi ukuba ngequbuliso akaphinde akufumane unomdla kwaye unayo ukuba gay.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uziva ngathi izinto ziwile ngokwenyani, inokuba isezantsi kwisiphithiphithi kwicala lakhe lokuziphatha ngokwesini.
Usenokungabi namdla ngokwasemzimbeni wokulala nawe kwakhona, okanye angaziva enetyala kakhulu ukuba anganalo olo nxibelelwano nawe kuba uyazi ukuba unomdla emadodeni.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, siza kungena kwindlela yokujongana nale ingezantsi.
I-alexa yolonwabo kunye ne-braun strowman
7. Uphulukana nomdla kulwalamano lwakho.
Kuyafana nangasentla, unokuziva ngathi akatyala mali kakhulu kuwe okanye kubudlelwane kwakhona.
Oku kunokuba kungenxa yokuba eqondile ukuba ayisamlungelanga, okanye ngenxa yokuba edideke kakhulu.
Oku kunokuba kukungabikho kwesondo okanye uthando, okanye inyani akasenamdla wokwenza izicwangciso okanye ukuthetha ngeenjongo zexesha elide okanye ikamva lakho kunye.
8. Intsapho yakhe iyabuthanda ubufanasini.
Abazali abangama-Homophobic 'abenzi' umntu othandana naye, ukuba acace gca - ayisiyiyo indlela esebenza ngayo isini!
amadoda anqabe ukukhula
Ukuba uyaziwa ukuba ulifanasini okwethutyana kodwa ukhulele kwindawo engamvumeli ukuba aveze ngokukhuselekileyo okanye ngokukhululekileyo okanye akuphonononge oko, usenokuyigubungela ngokwenza ngokuthe tye.
Kananjalo, ufumene intombi kwaye ngaphandle uphila ubomi njengendoda ethe tye. Ukuba nosapho oluthandana nabantu abathandana nabantu abathandana bodwa kungachaza ukuba kutheni egcina ubusini bakhe bufihlakele- ayisosizathu 'sokuba abe li-gay, kodwa ingachaza ukuba kutheni eyigcine iyimfihlo kwaye ehamba nolwalamano lwakho.
9. Utyhile ngokunxila ezinye iimfihlo.
Utywala bunokuveza okuninzi, njengoko sonke sisazi. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba wakhomba kwinto ethile emva kweziselo ezimbalwa, okanye 'wavuma' into emva kobusuku obu-boozy.
Oku kunokuba kukuba wayekhe wabandakanyeka nabafana ngaphambili, okanye ukuba uneemvakalelo ngendoda ebomini bakhe.
Isenokuba malunga nentelekelelo okanye imfihlo, okanye isenokuba ‘kukuvuma izono’ okunxila okuvela kwindawo yokuziva unetyala ngenxa yokuba eziva kakubi ngokukuxokisa xa ekunye nawe.
10. Unemvakalelo nje.
Intuition yinto engaqhelekanga! Asicebisi ukuba uvakalelo olungaqhelekanga lithetha ukuba umfana othandana naye ulifanasini, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha siyazi nje.
Kungenzeka ukuba indibaniselwano yemiqondiso engentla sele icace mva nje, okanye isenokuba yimvakalelo emathunjini akho yokuba izinto nje azisebenzi ncam phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Into ekufuneka uyenzile ukuba ucinga ukuba isoka lakho linokuba liGay
Nokuba ngaba imiqondiso ekolu luhlu lungentla iye yahlangana nawe, kukho ukungathandabuzeki engqondweni yakho ukusuka kwindawo ethile. Makhe sijonge indlela yokujongana neemvakalelo zakho kwaye uqhubele phambili.
Asinguye wonke umntu oziphatha ngendlela efanayo.
Usenokuba namakhwenkwe athandana nawo kwixesha elidlulileyo ebekade ephezu kwakho kwaye unomdla kakhulu kwisini ngalo lonke ixesha.
Kungenxa yokuba iqabane lakho langoku alenzi ngendlela efanayo okanye linokutshintshashintsha kwesondo, oko akuthethi ukuba 'kufuneka abe li-gay.'
Sonke sihamba ngezigaba ezahlukeneyo ebomini, kwaye isondo lethu lokuqhuba linokutshintsha ngenxa yezinto ezinje ngoxinzelelo, ukuzithemba, kunye nokukhetha indlela yokuphila.
Khumbula ukuba isini sisibonisi.
Ke, mhlawumbi isithandwa sakho sisitabane! Okanye mhlawumbi ulala ngesini, i-pansexual - okanye nantoni na kwibala elimangalisayo lesini.
Okanye, ewe, mhlawumbi akafanelanga nayiphi na ilebheli kwaye uziva nje indlela avakalelwa ngayo.
Ukuba neemvakalelo zalo naluphi na uhlobo kwamanye amadoda akuthethi ukuba akakuthandi okanye akakuthandi.
Ukuba akakhange akhangwe ngokwesini kuwe okanye akafuni ubudlelwane ngendlela ofuna ngayo ubudlelwane, yimeko eyahluke mpela leyo (jonga ngezantsi).
Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba isoka lakho linokuba nomdla emadodeni ngandlela thile, kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuba kubudlelwane nawe, ukhetha wena ngesizathu.
Mnike indawo.
Ukuba awuqinisekanga ncam ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni kubudlelwane bakho, kungenzeka ukuba uziva ngendlela efanayo.
Mhlawumbi indlela aziphethe ngayo itshintshile kutshanje kwaye ibangele imvakalelo kuwe yokuba anganomdla kwamanye amadoda.
Usenokuba uyifumene le nto kutshanje, okanye unokudideka yena. Ukunyaniseka kwiziqu zethu malunga nokwabelana ngesondo kunokuziva ngathi ngumqobo omkhulu, singasathethi ke xa sithandana nabo - ngakumbi ukuba sikhulele kwikhaya elinabantu abathandana besisini esinye.
Mnike isithuba ukuba izinto ziziva zahlukile, kwaye umkhumbuze ukuba ukhona kuye ngaphandle komgwebo, indlela exhasayo ukuba angaze athethe ngento.
Kungokwemvelo ukuziva ukhathazekile kwaye unomsindo, mhlawumbi nokuba ungcatshwe kancinci okanye uthathe ithuba, kodwa zama ukubeka ezo mvakalelo ecaleni okwangoku.
Ewe kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo kuwe ukuba uyayiqonda into yokuba isithandwa sakho sisitabane - kodwa isenokuba sisothuso esikhulu okanye into edidayo kakhulu nakuye.
Hlonipha kuwo onke amabakala oku kwaye ukhumbule ukuba nantoni na ayikhethayo ukwabelana nawe malunga nokuziphatha kwakhe ngokwesini kunokuba yinto enkulu kuye kwaye ibonise indlela akuthembayo kwaye uyakuthanda ngayo.
Yiba nencoko ethembekileyo ngayo.
Ukuba izinto ziya zibonakala ngokucacileyo kwaye uqinisekile ukuba umntu othandana naye ulifanasini okanye unomdla emadodeni ngandlela thile, yiba nencoko malunga nawo.
Ingabonakala ingenakwenzeka, kodwa yeyona ndlela yokuqhubela phambili.
Khetha ixesha elilungileyo xa nihleli nobabini ekhaya kwaye niyinyuse ngobunono.
Qiniseka ukuba uyazi ukuba uyamxhasa kwaye angakuxelela nantoni na ngokuzithemba. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba akazange athethe nakubani na malunga noku ngaphambili, ke, nangona kubuhlungu ukuva, xhasa kwaye uvule ingqondo.
Xoxa ukuba kuthetha ntoni oku kubudlelwane bakho. Kulungile ukuba ucaphuke, kodwa khumbula ukuba usenokuziva enetyala ukuba uye waqonda ukuba akafuni, okanye akakwazi, ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane bakho, ke kuphephe ukumbeka ityala okanye ukuba nomsindo.
Emva kwencoko yakho, kungakuhle ukuba nibe nexesha elithile nedwa iintsuku ezimbalwa ukuze nizenze. Oku kuya kukunika lonke ixesha olifunayo lokulila, rant nabahlobo bakho endaweni yakhe, kwaye nenze into eniza kuyenza.
Cebisa ngengcebiso-njengesibini okanye abantu.
Nokuba uthethile ngayo okanye akunjalo, ingcebiso ingakunceda ukuba usebenze ngalo mbandela.
Ndiziva ngathi ndiyaphoxeka kuye wonke umntu
Ungabona umntu njengesibini kwaye usebenzise njengendawo ekhuselekileyo yokuxoxa ukuba uziva njani, okanye ungacebisa ukuba nobabini nibonane nabaphili abaziingcali ngokwahlukeneyo.
Oku kuyokunceda ukujongana neenkxalabo zakho kwaye ufumanise ukuba ngaba zivela kwindawo yokoyika okanye ukuqiqa okwenyani kunokunceda isithandwa sakho ukuba sijongane nezinye izinto ebesiziva kwaye sizicinezela.
Khumbula ukuba nobubele maxa onke - umsindo okanye ubuhlungu bakho bubangelwa yindlela oyithanda ngayo inkwenkwe yakho, ke sebenzisa olo thando ukuba luxhase kwaye lwamkele, nangona kunjalo izinto zihamba phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ukuba ucinga ukuba umntu othandana naye ulifanasini? Okanye ufuna ukuthetha ngayo njengesibini? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
