Udidekile noko. Kwaye kunjalo ngokufanelekileyo.
Iqabane lakho okanye umntu okhe wathandana naye ukuxelele ukuba bayakuthanda, kodwa abekho ndisemathandweni nawe.
uyayazi ukuba ndiyamthanda
Kuba ubomi bakho, awukwazi ukuqonda ukuba zizama ukukuxelela ntoni.
Athetha ntoni kanye kanye?
Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kokuthanda umntu nokuthandana nomntu, nokuba kunjalo?
Kwaye zinokuya phi izinto phakathi kwakho ukusuka apha? Yintoni elandelayo kulwalamano lwakho? Ingaba sisiphelo esi, okanye ikhona indlela yokubuyela?
Masikhe singene nzulu kwinto enokuthetha yona kuwe nakubudlelwane bakho nalo mntu.
Yintoni umahluko phakathi kokuthanda umntu nokuba sothandweni naye?
Njengabantu, sinesakhono esingaqhelekanga sothando, kuzo zonke izivamvo zelizwi.
Singabathanda abantu ngazo zonke iindlela ngeendlela, kwaye nothando esiluva kusapho kunye nabahlobo lunokuba namandla, okanye ngaphezulu, kunothando lwesithandana.
Kodwa xa kufikwa kubudlelwane bezothando, ngokuqinisekileyo kukho umgca phakathi kokuthanda umntu nokuba sothandweni naye, nangona loo mgca unokuba nzima ukuzoba.
Abantu bahlala beziva ngathi abasathandani xa bephulukana nomnqweno wokuchitha ixesha kunye namaqabane abo, kwaye baphelelwe zizinto zokuthetha. Ukuziva ngathi uyathandana nomntu kuhlala kunxulunyaniswa kakhulu nokwabelana ngesondo.
Ukuba umntu uthi abathandani neqabane lakhe kodwa usabathanda, oko kusenokwenzeka ukuba kuthetha ukuba intlantsi engafumanekiyo iphelile.
Omnye umntu unokuziva ngale ndlela emva kokuba intsholongwane yokuqala yokuthandana iphela kwaye izinto ziqala ukuzinza kwaye zibethe kakhulu kwaye zizibophelele kodwa zingonwabisi.
Abantu abaninzi bayasokola ngokwenyani ukulungelelanisa kwaye baziva belahliwe ukuba ixesha elonwabisayo, elinikwe i-hormone liphelile.
Kodwa abanye abantu banokuthatha isigqibo sokuba abasathandani kakhulu ezantsi kwendlela, xa bezinikezele, ubudlelwane bexesha elide.
Oko akuthethi ukuba abasakhathali nzulu malunga neqabane labo, kodwa kukuba iglu eyongezelelweyo ebopha ubudlelwane bezothando ngokusondeleyo iye yafika.
Ngaba ihlala ithetha ukuphela kobudlelwane?
Impendulo emfutshane apha nguewe mhlawumbi, kodwa hayi.
Umxholo ojikeleze oku kwaye zombini iinjongo zakho zezinto ezibalulekileyo.
Ukuba bakuxelele ukuba basakuthanda kwaye bafuna ubudlelwane busebenze, kodwa abasathandani kwaye bafuna ukuba itshintshe, ayisiyiyo kwaphela le nto kuni nobabini.
Unomsebenzi omkhulu onzima phambi kwakho ukuba ubuye kule nto, kodwa olu lwalamano ngokuqinisekileyo lusenokuphila kwaye luphumelele.
Abanye abantu, ngokusemthethweni, baziva ngathi 'nje' ukuthanda umntu kwanele isiseko sobudlelwane obomeleleyo.
Ukuba bakhethe ukuchitha ubomi babo nomntu, banokungazikhathazi ngento yokuba abasathandani nabo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, njengoko ixesha lihamba, kuyindalo ukuba uthando lwethu ngomntu lutshintshe, lukhule kwaye lube mhle.
Kodwa ukuba oko akonelanga kuwe kwaye nobabini nisazinikele kubudlelwane, ke ngokusebenza okuninzi okunzima kunye neengxowa zokuqonda, ungaqala ukuvuselela izinto phakathi kwakho.
Kwelinye icala, oku kunokuba yindlela yeqabane lakho yokuphelisa izinto phakathi kwenu.
Banokugqiba ekubeni uthando abaluva ngawe ngoku alunamandla ngokwaneleyo okuxhasa ulwalamano lwakho kwaye olu tshintsho kwiimvakalelo zabo luthetha ukuba luphelile phakathi kwenu.
Oku mhlawumbi ayisosigqibo abafike kuso ngokulula. Ukuba basakukhathalele ngokunzulu, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kudala besilwa neemvakalelo zabo kwaye ekugqibeleni bamkele ukuba izinto zitshintshile.
Mhlawumbi kunzima kubo ukuba bathethe njengokuba kunjalo ukuba uve, ke zama ukukhumbula ukuba, nangokwenzakala oku kuya kubangela wena.
Ungawufumana njani umxholo osezantsi kwimeko yakho?
Kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, akukho sizathu sokuhlala phantsi uzikhathaza ngokuzama ukufunda phakathi kwemigca yezinto abazithethileyo kuwe.
Ungathetha ngayo nabahlobo bakho abasenyongweni konke okuthandayo kwaye wenze konke okuGogogling okuthandayo, kodwa awuyi kufumana mpendulo icacileyo.
Kuya kufuneka ubuze.
Ukuba iqabane lakho likushiye udidekile kwaye ungaqinisekanga ukuba umi phi, kuya kufuneka ubahlalise phantsi ukuze ubambe enye intetho kwaye ucacise izinto kwakamsinya.
Usenokungayifumani impendulo oyilindeleyo, kodwa ubuncinci awuyi kubambeka kolu hlobo lungaqhelekanga lwelimbo elibuhlungu.
Ungaqhubeka njani uye phambili?
Nokuba iqabane lakho linqwenela ukuzama ukuqala kwakhona kubudlelwane bakho , okanye nokuba bathathe isigqibo sokuphelisa izinto, nazi iingcebiso zokukugcina uye phambili.
1. Vavanya iimvakalelo zakho.
Nantoni na ocinga ukuba omnye umntu angazama ukukuxelela yona, inyathelo lokuqala apha kukuvavanya iimvakalelo zakho.
Zama ukungavumeli izinto abazithethileyo ngombala, kodwa uthembeke ngokupheleleyo kuwe.
Uziva njani nyani ngalomntu?
Ngaba ungabeka isandla sakho entliziyweni yakho kwaye ufunge ukuba usabathanda ngokupheleleyo?
Ngaba umntu wam wangaphambili ufuna ukuba ndibuyele
Okanye ngaba luhlobo olwahlukileyo lothando oziva ngalo kubo ngoku?
Ngaba uzimisele ukubeka emsebenzini ukuba olu lwalamano luza kudinga ukukhula, okanye uyazi nzulu ukuba alunakamva?
Thatha ixesha lokuvavanya nyani i-monologue yakho yangaphakathi kwaye ufumanise ukuba zithini iimvakalelo zakho.
Kungoko kuphela apho unokujonga iimvakalelo zabo kunye neenjongo zabo kwaye uthathe isigqibo malunga nokuba yeyiphi inyathelo lakho elilandelayo.
2. Cinga ngento ekufuneka itshintshile, kwaye uzibophelele ekwenzeni oko kwenzeke.
Ukuba bayicacisile into yokuba sukuyenza ufuna oku kube kukuphela kobudlelwane, emva koko nobabini ninomsebenzi omninzi ekufuneka niwenzile.
Mamela ukuba bathini malunga nemicimbi enobudlelwane bakho kunye nendlela izinto ekufuneka zitshintshe ngayo Ukuba uzimisele ngokwenza lo msebenzi, kuya kufuneka umamele ngaphandle kokuzazisa kwaye wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ungathathi izinto buqu.
Cinga ngeendawo apho ubudlelwane bungadibani khona eyakho iimfuno kwaye uthembeke kubo malunga nayo.
Nobabini nidinga ukuzibophelela ekusebenzeni kubudlelwane benu kunye nokunxibelelana kwakhona njengoko niqhubela phambili. Ayizukuba lula, kodwa kunokuba kufanelekile.
Usenokufumanisa ukuba ufuna inkxaso yobungcali ukuze ulwalamano lwakho lubuyele emqolo, kwaye akukho ntloni kwaphela ekuyeni kwiingcebiso ngezibini.
Yindlela yokubonisa kuwe kunye neqabane lakho ukuba uzimisele ngokwenene ngokwenza lo msebenzi kwaye ukuba nembono yomntu ongaphandle ungenza umahluko.
3. Yamkele imeko.
Ukuba uye waqonda ukuba le yindlela yabo yokuhlukana nawe, ndiyaxolisa kakhulu.
Ukwahlukana kuhlala kunzima ngokungathethekiyo, ngakumbi ukuba ngekhe uqhekeze ukuba bekuya kuwe.
Enye yezinto eziphambili kwimeko enje ukuxhoma kwizinto ezintle kuyo yonke into.
Nangona kunokuba kubuhlungu ukuhamba ngeendlela zakho ezahlukileyo, bambelela kwinto yokuba kusekho uthando oluninzi phakathi kwakho.
Bayakuthanda kwaye bafuna okona kulungileyo kuwe, njengoko usenza kubo. Anisakulungelanga nje ukuthandana.
Ke, sukuvumela oku kuqhekeka kungcolise iinkumbulo zakho zexesha lakho kunye. Kungenxa yokuba kufikelele esiphelweni, oko akuthethi ukuba uchithe ixesha lakho okanye ukuba ubudlelwane bekungaphumeleli kuqhuba nje ikhosi.
Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ube ngumhlobo. Xa umntu esebenzisa lo mgca ukuphelisa ubudlelwane, bahlala benqwenela ukuba bangalahleki omnye umntu, kwaye babambelele kwithemba lokutshintsha ubudlelwane ngobuhlobo.
Ukuba ulungile kuloo nto, kuhle, kodwa ungaziva unyanzelekile ukugcina ubuhlobo kunye nabo.
Ukuba ubusathandana nabo kwaye bohlukene nawe emva koko ukuphuhlisa ubuhlobo kuya kuba nzima, ubuncinci ekuqaleni, kwaye unokuziva ngathi ufuna ikhefu elicocekileyo.
Nantoni na oyenzayo, yenzela wena ububele, kwaye uyazi ukuba ikamva eligcwele zonke iintlobo zothando likulindile.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba lithetha ukuthini iqabane lakho xa besithi bayakuthanda kodwa abathandani nawe? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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