Ubudlelwane bucelomngeni kwimeko ezilungileyo.
Ulwalamano lukutyhila kuzo zonke izinto ezintle kwaye azintle kangako malunga neqabane lakho.
Uxinzelelo longeza inqanaba elipheleleyo lomceli mngeni kubudlelwane, kuba akukho mntu usifundisa ngokwenene ukuba sibe kubudlelwane obusempilweni kunye nokugula ngengqondo.
indlela yokufumana ukungcatshwa ngumfana
Zininzi izinto ezikhubekisayo kunye nokuqonda izinto njengoko usiya kuba iindlela ezahlukeneyo zisebenza ngcono kubantu abohlukeneyo.
Uxinzelelo kuxinzelelo kubudlelwane ngendlela echaphazela ukusebenza komntu kunye nokuqonda kwehlabathi.
Kubuhlungu kwaye kunzima ukubukela umntu omthandayo ehlupheka ngenxa yokungaphili.
Uluvo lwabo ngeziqu zabo lunokuhla, banokuziva bengenathemba, kwaye ngokungathi abanamsebenzi. Kwaye kuvakala ngathi nantoni na oyithethayo ngokuchaseneyo ayinayo i-resonance yeemvakalelo.
Indlela yokudakumba edibanisa iimvakalelo kunye nokukwazi ukuziva kukwenza kubonakale ngathi liqabane alinakuba negalelo kwimpilo yethu.
Asiyonyani leyo. Kungenxa yokuba indlela esifuna ukubonisa ngayo uvelwano kumntu esimthandayo onoxinzelelo yahlukile kunendlela esibonisa ngayo imfesane kwabo bangenasifo sengqondo.
Uxinzelelo kunokonakalisa ubudlelwane ngokulula ukuba ukhathalelo aluthathwanga ngamaqabane omabini.
Kulula ukuthatha ukunganakwa kunye nokunqamla uxinzelelo uqobo ukuba awazi ngcono.
Ke, makhe sihlolisise ezinye zeendlela zokwenza ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi koxinzelelo kube lula, okokuqala kwiqabane ngaphandle koxinzelelo, emva koko kweqabane.
Iqabane ngaphandle koxinzelelo…
1. Yamkela ukuba awukwazi ukulungisa uxinzelelo lweqabane lakho.
Uxinzelelo sisifo esikhohlakeleyo esinokufuna unyango, amayeza kunye notshintsho kwindlela yokuphila ukuze siphucule.
Akusiyo imeko apho unokulivuyisa iqabane lakho ngokuxelela izinto ezilungileyo okanye ezintle.
Ukudakumba kunokwenza i-monologue yangaphakathi iphazamise iinkqubo zemichiza ezivumela umntu ukuba onwabe kwaye azive onwabile kwezi ntlobo zezinto.
Ukubakho kwiqabane lakho noxinzelelo yindlela ebhetele kakhulu, nangona kunokuba yinto ebuhlungu.
Mhlawumbi ubona izinto ezininzi ezintle malunga nomntu omthandayo. Ukubakho kuloo mntu xa isifo sakhe sengqondo sibenza bazive okanye babone izinto ezimbi ngaye kunzima, kodwa kunyanzelekile.
Awunakho ukulungisa uxinzelelo lweqabane lakho. Unokubakho kuphela kwaye unike inkxaso.
2. Yiba bhetyebhetye kutshintsho lwezicwangciso.
Ukuba bhetyebhetye kubalulekile kuba umntu onoxinzelelo usenokungakwazi ukulandela zonke izicwangciso abazenzayo.
Ezinye iintsuku zingcono kunezinye. Ngezinye iintsuku iqabane lakho liya kusebenza ngakumbi kunabanye.
Izicwangciso ezenziwe kwiveki ephelileyo zisenokungafikeleli kule veki ukuba iqabane lakho alinakho ukuphuma ebhedini kuba banosuku lokungonwabi.
Ukudakumba ngamanye amaxesha kuya kubaphanga babenakho ukusebenza ngendlela eqhelekileyo.
Ukuqonda kunye nokuguquguquka kuya kuhamba indlela ende ekugcineni ukuvumelana kubudlelwane.
Ewe, akukho mnandi ukuba nezicwangciso ziphazanyiswe ngolo hlobo, kodwa kuya kwenzeka kungekudala okanye kamva.
Khumbula: ezinye iintsuku zilula kakhulu kunezinye.
3. Khetha kwaye ukhethe amadabi akho ngononophelo.
Ukudakumba kubangela ukuba umntu acinge ngendlela emnyama nemhlophe.
Ithanda ukukhulisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga, njengokuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuzithemba, kwaye ibenze babaluleke ngakumbi kunabo.
Amagqabantshintshi amsulwa anokuchazwa ngendlela engeyiyo ebangela ukungqubana. Isigxeko esincinci sinokuziva njengokulahlwa okulimazayo okanye uhlaselo lomntu.
Into onokuthi uyijonge njengento encinci okanye engabalulekanga inokuthathwa kukudakumba kwaye iqhume ibe yinto enkulu neyoyikisayo, njengokucinga ukuba ngekhe bonwabe okanye bangaze babe nolwalamano olusempilweni.
Ukudakumba kunokwandisa iimvakalelo zokungancedi nokuphelelwa lithemba, kuhlutha amandla omntu okuziva ekwazi ukulawula isifo okanye impilo yabo.
Iimpikiswano nokungavisisani kuya kwenzeka kubudlelwane. Kungcono ukuphepha ukubanazo xa umntu ekwindawo emnyama kuba abayi kucinga ngendlela efanayo naleyo bebeya kuba belungelelene ngayo.
Oko akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka uzibekele ecaleni iimfuno zakho, kodwa uqonde ukuba ingxoxo enovakalelo inokufuna ukulinda usuku olungcono.
4. Zama ukungakuthathi ngokobuqu.
Kuya kubakho ukungakhathali kunye neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu zokuhamba. Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho umntu wakho omthandayo engenguye ngenxa yendlela uxinzelelo olwenza ngayo imbonakalo yelizwe kunye neemvakalelo.
Kuya kubuhlungu ukubukela umntu omthandayo kwaye ucinga kakhulu ngokuhlala kolo hlobo lwesithuba.
Inyani yile yokuba abantu abanexinzelelo abakwazi ukuphuma kuyo okanye batshintshe nje indlela ukudakumba kwabo okubachaphazela ngayo. Ukuphuculwa kokugula kwengqondo kunokuba yinkqubo ende, ebuhlungu.
Eyona nto ibhetele unokuzikhupha kwizinto ezimbi zoxinzelelo, kuya kuba lula ngakumbi ukugcina nokuhamba kubudlelwane.
Oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka wamkele okanye ukhuthaze ukuxhatshazwa, qonda nje ukuba kuya kubakho ububi obungaphandle komlingane wakho.
Eyona ndlela ibalaseleyo yokwenza oku kukujonga kwizinto ezintle kubudlelwane bakho. Oko kunokukunceda ekulweni ukungakhathaleki komzuzu.
5. Ziqhelanise nokuzikhathalela kwaye ukhathalele impilo yakho yengqondo.
Ukulingana kwenkathalo kubudlelwane kubalulekile. Omabini amaqabane kufuneka akwazi ukuthembela omnye komnye xa efuna loo nkxaso yongezelelweyo yokufumana ubomi obulahla kubo.
Umntu onoxinzelelo unokungakwazi ukubonelela ngenkxaso eyongezelelweyo ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ukuhlala noxinzelelo kufuna amandla amakhulu emvakalelo ukuze ujonge iimvakalelo ezimbi ngelixa uhlangabezana neemfuno zobomi.
Jonga impilo yakho yengqondo ukuze uqiniseke ukuba awuzenzi ngokugqithisileyo kwaye uzitshisile.
Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho iqabane lakho lingenakho ukufaka isandla kwimithwalo yabo egcweleyo kubudlelwane, ke yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba kubekho amaxesha okungalingani ekusebenzeni ngokweemvakalelo.
Nangona kunjalo, ayifanelanga ukuba yinto yanaphakade okanye yexesha lonke. Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho kuya kufuneka wenze ixesha lokutshaja kwakhona iibhetri zakho zeemvakalelo.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ungayichaza njani into yoVakalelo loxinzelelo njengoMntu ongazange abe nayo
- Izinto ezi-5 zokwenza ukuba indoda oyithandayo inokuzithemba (+ 6 imiqondiso yokujonga)
- Ukuthandana nomnye umntu onexhala: Izinto ezi-4 zokwenza (kwaye ezi-4 AKUZUKWENZA)
- Ukoyisa njani Ukuziva Ungento Yanto
- Ungalucela njani uncedo ngaphandle kokuziva ungonwabanga okanye unzima
Kwiqabane lokudakumba…
1. Khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho alilo gqirha okanye ingcali.
Ukuba ngumntu onesifo sengqondo kubudlelwane kunzima ngenxa yecala kunye neentloni ezinokuza nazo.
Ukudakumba kunokufaka iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho, kukwenze uzibone ungaphantsi okanye ungafanelekanga luthando. Ayinyani kwaphela.
Into eyinyani kukuba iqabane lakho kunokwenzeka ukuba lithethe okanye lenze into engakhathaliyo malunga nokugula kwengqondo.
Abangobungcali. Abakwazi ukubonelela ngohlobo lwenkxaso kunye noncedo olunokwenziwa ngugqirha okanye ingcali.
Banokuwafunda onke amanqaku kwaye bazifundise kakuhle ukuba liqabane elikhulu lomntu onesifo sengqondo…
… Okwangoku, onke amanqaku ehlabathini akanakulungiselela umntu umthwalo weemvakalelo ovela ekubukeleni ngokungenakunceda umntu abathandayo ehlupheka.
Ukunikela ubungqina ngokubandezeleka kothandekayo ogula ngengqondo kulucelomngeni ngokweemvakalelo. Kwaye xa kunzima ngokweemvakalelo kuza ukuphazamiseka, iimvakalelo ezixineneyo ezingenakuqhutywa ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo.
Izinto ziya kuthethwa kunye nezenzo ezithathiweyo ezinokwenzakalisa ngalo mzuzu.
Umlingane wakho angaba yinxalenye exabisekileyo yenethiwekhi yakho yenkxaso, kodwa ayinakutshintshwa kunyango kunye nomsebenzi oya kuphuculo.
Musa ukulindela ukuba umntu omthandayo enze kakuhle ekuxhaseni kwelona xesha limnyama. Yinto efuna ukuziqhelanisa noxolo kunye nemeko, uninzi lwabantu olungenayo.
2. Phuhlisa uthungelwano lwenkxaso olukhulu ngaphandle kweqabane lakho.
Iqabane elithandanayo liza kuba ngumntu ophambili kwinethiwekhi yakho yenkxaso.
Akunakwenzeka ukuba bangabikho kuba ukuba izinto zihamba kakuhle, uya kuchitha ixesha elininzi ujikeleze loo mntu.
Oko bekutshiwo, azinakuba kuphela kwendlela yakho yokuxhasa ukumelana nokusebenza nokusebenza ukoyisa uxinzelelo lwakho.
Yisixa nje esomeleleyo somsebenzi weemvakalelo abantu abaninzi abangaxhotyiswanga ukujongana nawo.
Banokufuna, kodwa ngekhe babenakho.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, wonke umntu unemithwalo yakhe yeemvakalelo kunye nomthwalo wokujongana nawo.
Ngaba ufuna ukwakha inethiwekhi yakho yenkxaso ngaphandle kweqabane lakho lothando. Oko kunokuba ngabahlobo abathile abanengxaki yempilo yengqondo, iqela lenkxaso, okanye ugqirha.
Inokukunceda ukuba neminye imisebenzi ecwangcisiweyo rhoqo ukuphuma kwaye wenze into ebonakalayo kunye esebenzayo.
Ngelixa ingeyiyo inkxaso yemvakalelo ngendlela eqhelekileyo, ukwenza umthambo kunye nokuba nento onokuthi ujonge kuyo kunokusebenza njengezincedisi ezongezelelweyo ukunceda ukuziphakamisa xa ufuna njalo.
3. Cwangcisa ixesha apho uxinzelelo lujika lubi.
Eyona ndlela yokuphelisa umonakalo xa ukudakumba kuba kubi kukuba nesicwangciso ngaphambi kwexesha.
Ngaba uyazazi izinto ezinokwenziwa liqabane lakho ukuze likuncede uphumelele ekungonwabini?
Umthambo? Ukulala okungaphezulu? Imisebenzi?
Faka iqabane lakho kwisicwangciso sakho kangangoko unakho ukuze bakuncede ngalo ngendlela esengqiqweni kuwe.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukudakumba kunokubangela ukuba umntu atyhalele kude abanye abantu ukuze babe bodwa.
Ngamanye amaxesha kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukudandatheka kubenza bazive ngathi abathandeki okanye abafanelwe luthando nenkxaso.
Ixesha elilodwa linokwenza imimangaliso emntwini efuna nje ixesha elithe cwaka kubo ukuze bafumane oko. Oko kunokubandakanywa kwisicwangciso esipheleleyo.
Ke yenza indawo kunye nexesha lokwenza into ngokwakho okwethutyana, ukuba uyazi ukuba izokunceda. Kuxhomekeka kwindlela onxibelelana ngayo nabantu ngelixa ungaphilanga.
4. Thintela iingxoxo kunye nezigqibo zeemvakalelo ngelixa ungaphilanga.
Ukudakumba okungapheliyo kuza ngamandla ahlukeneyo. Ngamanye amaxesha akubi kangako. Ngamanye amaxesha yindawo embi, eyinkangala.
Kubantu abasempilweni ngokweemvakalelo, besazi ukuba leliphi idabi ekufuneka sililwe kwaye nini liyinxalenye ebaluleke kakhulu yokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Kumntu oxinezelekileyo, oko kuya kusiba nzima ngakumbi kuba uxinzelelo lunefuthe elibi kwimibono nakwiimvakalelo zakho.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kungumbono ombi ukuzama ukuba neengxoxo ezinzulu zeemvakalelo okanye wenze izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ngelixa ungaphilanga kakhulu.
Kunzima ukucinga ngemibono kunye neemvakalelo ezibonisa ukudakumba, okuthetha ukuba uya kuthi uzabalaze ukuyibona imeko ngokungathathi hlangothi okanye okuhle.
Oko kubangela ungquzulwano olungeyomfuneko kunye neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu ezingafuneki zenzeke ukuba zinokuhlehliswa kude kube lixesha apho uziva ubhetele ngokwasengqondweni.
Kodwa ubomi abuhlali busilindile. Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka uyenze le nto, nokuba uziva njani.
Ngawo loo maxesha, uluhlu olusekwe kwi-Pros kunye ne-Cons uluhlu lunokukunceda uhlele iinyani kwiimvakalelo zemeko.
Iinyani azinazimvakalelo kubo. Ke ngoko, benza i-metric engcono yokwenza izigqibo xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle ngokweemvakalelo.
5. Nikela ngeyiphi inkxaso yemvakalelo okwaziyo ukuyenza.
Ulwalamano oluhle lumalunga nokulingana. Abantu ababandakanyekayo banokulingana ngaphandle, baphakamisane xa behla ezantsi, kwaye basebenze ukugcina iqela lisempilweni kwaye lomelele.
Oko kunokuba yinto enzima ukuyenza xa uhlala noxinzelelo.
Uxinzelelo luxutha umntu amandla akhe ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni ngamanye amaxesha. Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho uziva ngathi awunakho ukubonelela ngenkxaso edingwa liqabane lakho, kwaye kulungile. Luhlobo nje lwerhamncwa.
Yintoni ebalulekileyo kukuba wenze umzamo wokunikela ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo onakho xa ukwazi.
Ingangabonakali ininzi, kwaye isenokubonakala ingabalulekanga kangako, kodwa ibonisa iqabane lakho ukuba wenza oko unako.
Umzamo ubalwa kakhulu kubudlelwane, ke zama ukubonisa kangangoko unakho xa iqabane lakho likudinga, nokuba awukho mgangathweni wakho.
