Kwenzeka ntoni xa abantu ababini benxibelelana ngendlela engakholakaliyo omnye komnye, kodwa beneenkolelo ezahlukeneyo zonqulo?
Kwilizwe elifanelekileyo, loo nto ayinakwenza mahluko kwaphela. Baza kukwazi ukuthandana nokuxhasana ngaphandle kwemiqathango, kwaye babhiyozele nayiphi na kwaye yonke imiba yeenkolo zabo kunye, ngaphandle koxinzelelo okanye ingxabano.
Kodwa oko kukwilizwe elifanelekileyo.
Ngokwenyani, kunokubakho ukungavisisani kubudlelwane, ngokuxhomekeke kwinani lezinto ezahlukeneyo…
Ngaba iinkolelo zabo ziyahambelana? Uzinikele kangakanani kwiqabane ngalinye, ngokwenene? Ngaba iintsapho zabo ziyathandana nabantu basemzini xa kufikwa kwezinye iinkolo neenkcubeko?
Imeko ezine eziphambili:
Xa kuziwa kukuhamba ngobunzima obunokubakho ngokomoya kubudlelwane, kukho iimeko ezine ezinokuthi ziqhubeke:
1. Omabini amaqabane akholwa, kodwa alandela iinkolelo ezahlukileyo-kodwa-ezihambelana kakhulu.
2. Omabini amaqabane akholwa, kodwa landela iinkolo ezinokungqubana.
3. Elinye iqabane liyakholelwa, kwaye elinye alikholelwa kubukho bukaThixo.
4. Akukho namnye umlingane owayekholwa xa bedibana / betshatile, kodwa ekugqibeleni omnye yaba inkolo ngexesha lobudlelwane.
Makhe sijonge nganye yazo, siqwalasele ukuba yeyiphi imiba enokuvela, kunye nendlela yokuhamba ngayo.
1. Omabini amaqabane akholwa, kodwa alandela iinkolelo ezahlukileyo-kodwa-ezihambelana kakhulu.
Njengomzekelo wokuqala apha, ndiza kuthabatha amava obomi bokwenyani: bobam, kunye nabahlobo bam, kunokuba nditsale nje 'uthini ukuba' iminqwazi.
U-L kunye no-S badibana nohambo ngesikhephe, kwaye babephambene ngokupheleleyo, kwangoko. Bathetha kwade kwasa ngobusuku bokuqala abadibana nabo, kwaye babengenako ukwahlukana nje ukuba babuyele kumhlaba owomileyo. Ngapha koko, zazibonakala zintle kakhulu zenzelwe omnye nomnye kuwo onke amanqanaba.
abanye abantu benzelwe ukuba bodwa
Umahluko wokwenyani ababenayo kukuba yena (L) ngumKatolika, kwaye yena (S) ungumJuda oqhubela phambili.
Kuba zombini ezi zizinkolo zika-Abraham, zazifanelekile. UThixo ofanayo, ezinye zeetekisi ezifanayo (hello iTestamente Endala!), Kunye namaxabiso afanayo.
Bobabini abanangxaki ukubhiyozela iinkolelo zabanye, kwaye bazokuya nakwiinkonzo zonqulo kwiindawo zonqulo zomnye nomnye.
Ekuphela kwento ababethi bayenze xa babenabantwana, njengoko utatomkhulu nomakhulu babedinga ukuba abantwana bakhuliswe ngokholo lwabo. U-L no-S bayijikelezile le nto besithi bazokukhulisa abantwana ngazo zombini iinkolo, kwaye babavumele ukuba bazikhethele iindlela zabo njengokuba bekhula.
Ngaba akuyiyo loo nto?
Kwindawo yam yamava, iqabane lam kunye nam sabelana ngeenkolelo ezifanayo zokomoya, kodwa iindlela zethu ziyahluka kancinci kwimixholo eyahlukeneyo. Ngaphandle kokungena kwiinkcukacha ezithile malunga nokuxhomekeka kwethu, ndiza kuthi nje indlela esithetha ngayo ngoku ngentlonipho epheleleyo kunye nokuqonda.
Akukho namnye kuthi unomdla onyanisekileyo kangangokuba asivulelekanga kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngapha koko, iindawo ezahlukileyo iinkolelo zethu zisivumela ukuba sibe neengxoxo ezintle ngokumangalisayo.
Sifunda okungakumbi malunga nabanye ngokuthetha ngokungafihlisiyo ngezifundo zethu, sifundisane omnye nomnye izifundo ezipholileyo kunye nemibono, kwaye sonwabile, abantu abanovelwano ngakumbi ngokwabelana (kunye nokubhiyozela) ukungafani kwethu.
2. Omabini amaqabane akholwa, kodwa landela iinkolo ezinokungqubana.
Le inzima kancinci, kodwa isenokuphathwa ngobabalo.
Ngelixa iinkolo ezifanayo kakhulu zinokuhambelana kakhulu, ezo zahluke kakhulu kunokubangela ukungavisisani xa kufikwa kubudlelwane bezothando.
Umzekelo, i-Jainist ethambileyo, ene-vegan inokuba nomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni kwi-Ásatrúar eyomeleleyo, eyoyikisayo… kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba bazokwazi ukuxhasana xa kufikwa kwinkolo. Ungaze uyikhathalele indlela abasabela ngayo kwiitafile zokutya kwiintlanganiso zabo zokomoya…
Oko kwathethi, umntu ozithembileyo kwaye onwabileyo kwinkolo yabo unokuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni nomntu olandela indlela eyahluke kakhulu.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kunokubakho ukuphazamiseka kunye neengxoxo xa kuziwa kwiinkolelo ezithile nakwizenzo ezithile, kodwa indlela yokujikeleza le micimbi yehla isiya kwizinto ezimbini ezidibeneyo nayiphi na ubudlelwane:
Unxibelelwano kunye nentlonipho.
Ukuba nobabini anithanga kumyalezo othile okanye umxholo othile, kulungile: ungavuma ukungavumelani, kwaye nisathandana kwaye nisamkele ngaphandle kwemiqathango.
Ngaphandle kokuba ukwimeko apho inkolo yomnye umntu ikubangela uhlobo oluthile lokwenzakalisa okanye ukonakalisa, nokuba kungokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwasemphefumlweni, kufanelekile ukuba ufumane into efanayo. Okanye ubuncinci, yamkela ukuba ungakholelwa izinto ezahlukeneyo kwaye ube ngabantu abamangalisayo abasebenza kakuhle kunye kuyo yonke enye into.
ingakanani indawo yokumnika
Omnye umba omkhulu ekusenokufuneka ujongane nawo kukuba ngaba iintsapho zakho zikholelwa ngokwenyani kwaye zikhubekisa iinkolelo zeqabane lakho, okanye zisongele ngokukukhanyela ukuba uzibandakanya nomntu wolo kholo.
Kwimeko enjalo, kusenokufuneka ufumane uncedo kwezobuchwephesha ukuze uhambe kula manzi aneziphithiphithi. Abacebisi ngeentsapho bahlala beqeqeshwa ukujongana neenkolelo kunye neenkcubeko ezahlukeneyo, ngenxa yoko cinga ukubiza abakhweli bamahashe ukuze bakuncede, ngokungathi kunjalo.
Omnye umba omkhulu onokuthi ujongane nawo kuziwa kumba wokukhulisa abantwana kunye nendlela ozihlonipha ngayo zombini iinkolelo zakho zonqulo kule meko.
Ngokungafaniyo necandelo elidlulileyo, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukukhulisa umntwana ngokweendlela ezimbini ezahlukeneyo zeenkolelo, ungasathethi ke ngokudideka komntwana!
Kwaye kukho imibhiyozo enokubangela ukungqubana, njengolwaluko okanye ubhaptizo, umzekelo. Ukuba elinye iqabane linqwenela ukubambelela kwezi zithethe, ngeli lixa elinye lingavumelani nazo, ukufumana umhlaba ophakathi kunokuba yinto engenakwenzeka.
Kwakhona, unxibelelwano luza kuncedo-lweentlobo. Kungcono ukuba nezi ngxoxo ngaphambili ubudlelwane buba mandundu kakhulu kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ngaphambi kokuba ube nabantwana. Akukuhle ukuqonda ukuba ungqubana ngendlela enkulu ngaphezulu kwesiko elithile emva kokuba unomntwana.
3. Elinye iqabane liyakholelwa, kwaye elinye alikholelwa kubukho bukaThixo.
Ukuba nobabini niyakhathala, yamkela abantu abanesidima soburharha, ke oku akufuneki ukuba lube lulo naluphi na uhlobo lwesahlulelo sokuthengiselana.
Iqabane lenkolo linokuzenza ngathi lenza isiphithiphithi esikhulu malunga nokulungiselela ukuya endlwini yabo yonqulo, kwaye iqabane elingakholelwayo kubukho bukaThixo linokuqhekeza iziqhulo ezikholekileyo malunga neenkolelo zabo ze-woo-woo, kwaye i-ay'all ingadibana kamva kwi-brunch.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, sinako ukuthanda nokuxhasa abantu abangakholelwa kwinto enye esiyenzayo, akunjalo?
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe kwimeko yangaphambili, konke kuxhomekeke kunxibelelwano nakwimbeko. Xoxa ngeenkolelo zakho (okanye ukusilela kwayo), kunye nayiphi na imida kunye neemvakalelo onokuthi ube nazo. Qinisekisa ukuba ukuba nobabini niyadlala nihlekisana, ukuze ningagqithi kwindawo eyenzakalisayo.
Ukuba omnye wenu wenza ngengozi, yidlulise ngokukhawuleza kwaye uqiniseke uxolo lunyanisekile . Oku kugcina ukuthembana kuphelele, kwaye kuthintela ingqumbo.
Ekugqibeleni, inkolo nganye emhlabeni inobuhle kunye nobulumko ekwabelwana ngabo. Kwaye nganye nganye inezinto ezintle ezingaqhelekanga ngokunjalo. Izithixo eziziintloko zezilwanyana? Idangatye, iyathetha ityholwana?
Ngokuchanekileyo.
Kuhlala kukho ukubakho kweziqhulo kunye noburharha obunobunono, kunye nokubanakho ukubhiyozela.
Ukuba omabini amaqabane avulelekile kuyo, unokufumana umhlaba ophakathi oya kulungela nina nobabini. Umzekelo, unokucinga ngokuya kwiinkonzo kwiziko loluntu, okanye kwicawa ye-Unitarian Universalist.
Ezi zihlala ziindibano ezingezizo ezenkolo ezibhiyozela uluntu kunye nobubele, kunye nokukhula komntu, kunye nokukhathalela umhlaba wendalo.
Ukuya kuthi ga ekufumaneni umhlaba ophakathi, ezo lukhetho oluhle kakhulu ukuba luqwalaselwe. Kananjalo baya kuthetha ukuba unokuxhasana ngeendlela zomnye, ngelixa usenza izinto onomdla kuzo.
Yimpumelelo-ngeenxa zonke.
Ewe, ukuba iqabane lenkolo liyaziqhelanisa, banokunqwenela ukuqhubeka nokuya kwindawo yabo yonqulo. Iqabane elingakholelwayo kubukho bukaThixo kufuneka likwamkele ngokupheleleyo oku.
Iqabane elingakholelwayo kubukho bukaThixo linokukhetha phakathi kwezinto ezimbini: yenza enye into ngeli xa enye iselunqulweni, okanye unamathe kunye nayo. Eyokuqala yeyona ixhaphakileyo, kodwa abanye abangakholelwayo kubukho bukaThixo bayakufumanisa ukuba ukuya kwinkonzo yonqulo kuyonwabisa ngokupheleleyo kwaye kunezibonelelo ezingezizo ezenkolo.
Banokuthi, umzekelo, bonwabe ukumamela iintshumayelo kunye nokucula iingoma kunye nemvakalelo yoluntu evela ekuhlaleni neqela labantu. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba babandakanyeke kwiindawo zonqulo ngakumbi kulo msitho ezifana nemithandazo okanye umthendeleko.
Izibini zolu hlobo zinokuthi, nangona kunjalo, zijongane nemiceli mngeni kwiintlobo ezithile zomsitho, njengakwicandelo elidlulileyo.
Thatha umtshato. Ngaba umntu ongakholelwa kuThixo uyonwabile ukutshata ecaweni kwaye enze umsitho wenkolo? Ngaba umntu okholwayo ukulungele ukuyiyeka loo nto kwaye enze umsitho waseburhulumenteni?
uyathandana okanye uyakhanuka
Ukuba kunokufumaneka ulungelelwaniso olusebenzayo, okanye ukuba elinye iqabane likulungele ukungenisa kwiminqweno yomnye, kulungile. Ukuba akukhange kubenjalo, ngaba oku kusaphula isivumelwano kulwalamano?
Ekugqibeleni, nobabini kufuneka nithathe isigqibo sokuba niyakulungela ukuncama into eninayo ngoku ngenxa yento enikholelwa kuyo, okanye ukuba uthando lwenu lufanele uhlobo olwahlukileyo lombingelelo.
4. Akukho namnye umlingane owayekhonza, kodwa omnye waba ngumntu wokholo.
Eyona yeyona inzima ukuyihamba, kuba ibandakanya utshintsho olubaluleke ngokwenene.
Xa abantu ababini behlangana, ezinye zezihloko ekuxoxwa ngazo kwangoko zisenokuthi jikele kwiinkolelo zonqulo. Kwabaninzi, ukholo lweqabane elinokubakho (okanye ukusilela kwalo) yindawo yokuthengisa, okanye isivumelwano sokwaphula isivumelwano.
Njengomzekelo, abantu ababini banokuhamba ngokumangalisayo phantse kuyo yonke ibhodi, kodwa ukuba omnye ungumKristu ozinikeleyo kwaye omnye nguWiccan, ngekhe kubekhona umhla wesibini.
Into efanayo iyahamba ezinye abantu abangakholwayo. Nokuba aba bantu abayonxalenye yokomoya ngenxa yendlela abakhuliswe ngayo, okanye ngenxa yokuba bengenamdla nje kwinkolo, banokuma beqinile kwizimo zabo.
Kananjalo, baya kukhetha amaqabane abelana ngokuxabiseka kunye nokuthambekela kwabo, njengoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba abaphathani kakuhle abo bakholwayo okanye bomoya kunokuba babe ngabantu, okanye into abayithatha njenge 'inengqiqo.'
Ke kwenzeka ntoni ukuba iqabane labo livukile ngokomoya kwaye liziva lifuna ukuzinikela kwinkolo yabo?
Kwimeko encomekayo, iqabane elingakholelwayo kubukho bukaThixo linokukunyamezela oku noburharha, nangona oko kunokubenza bangakhululeki.
Imeko enokwenzeka, nangona kunjalo, yeyokuba bayakucaphuka kwaye baphazamiseke, kwaye banokuhlekisa ngamaqabane abo ngenxa yenkolelo yabo entsha.
Oku kunokuba yinto edimazayo kumntu oqhekekileyo phakathi kwesithandwa sakhe, kunye nokholo abaziva bomelele ngalo.
Ekuphela kwendlela enokuhamba ngayo kukuba omabini amaqabane aphathana ngomonde nentlonipho.
Ngaba iqabane elingakholwayo linokuvuleka kwaye liqonde malunga nendlela yabo ethandekayo, ngaphandle kokuhlekisa okanye ukudelela ngayo?
Ngaba umntu wokholo angahlonipha ukuba iqabane lakhe alihlanganyeli neenkolelo zabo, kwaye ngenxa yoko, ayeke ukuzama ukuguqula?
Ukuba impendulo kuyo yomibini le mibuzo ngu 'ewe,' oko kungasebenza.
Ukuba akunjalo… unyango lunokunceda, kodwa omabini amaqabane kufuneka atyale imali ekufumaneni umhlaba ophakathi nangona enomahluko.
Uthando loyisa konke
Uthando loyisa konke.
Ekugqibeleni, enye yeendlela ezisisiseko kuzo zonke iinkolo kulo mhlaba 'sukuba yingxaki.'
Nokuba yeyiphi inkolo oyilandelayo kunye neqabane lakho (okanye aniyilandeli), nisenokuvumelana nobabini ngokubaluleka kwemfesane, uvelwano, ububele kunye nenceba.
Ezi zezinye zezona ziseko zibaluleke kakhulu zokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba ngumntu, kwaye banako- kwaye kufuneka - babeyinxalenye yobudlelwane obunothando.
Ukuba nobabini ninonxibelelwano olumangalisayo ukuba niya kuzisola ngonaphakade ukuba khange nizame ukuwenza usebenze, uya kuyifumana indlela.
Ukuba upholile ngokufumana isidlo esikhethekileyo ngosuku oluthile ukuphawula into ebalulekileyo kwiqabane lakho, kuhle. Ukuba awukho, nxibelelana ngokucacileyo, kwaye ubakhuthaze ukuba bachithe elo xesha nabahlobo okanye amalungu osapho abelana ngokholo lwabo endaweni yoko.
ungabinanyani kubudlelwane
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba unqule uthixo ofanayo (okanye nawuphina), kwaye akukho mntu unokukunyanzela ukuba uthathe inxaxheba kwiminyhadala okanye kwizithethe ongakhululekanga zizo.
Vuleka kwaye uthembeke malunga nento oyiyo kwaye ungakhululekanga ngokubhiyozela, hloniphana imida yomnye nomnye, kwaye wonwabele umzuzu ngamnye eninaye kunye.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni malunga neenkolelo ezahlukeneyo onazo neqabane lakho? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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