Mva nje, ubuziva ungaxatyiswanga. Isithandwa sakho okanye umyeni wakho ebesoloko ekuthathela indawo, kwaye uqala ukuphulukana nomonde wakho kuyo.
Uyayithanda le ndoda, kwaye into yokugqibela oyifunayo kukuba kolu lwalamano luphele.
Kodwa ukuba uqhubeka nokukuxabisa ngolu hlobo, ukhathazekile kunokuthetha ukuba, kungekudala okanye kamva, ubudlelwane bakho buza kuqhawuka.
Ke ungazibuyisa njani izinto ukusuka elunxwemeni? Ungamenza njani ukuba avuke kwaye ayayixabisa into emangalisayo anayo, kunokuba akuthathe kancinci?
Ungamenza njani ukuba aqonde ukuba ulunge kangakanani kwaye unokuphulukana nantoni ngokungahoyi kwaye ungazixabisi zonke izinto omenzela zona?
Nanga amanye amacebiso anokukunceda ukuba avuke kwaye aqonde ukuba wahluke njani kwaye umhle kangakanani ngaphambi kokuba ulwalamano lwakho lungaphaya kokulungiswa.
1. Nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho.
Ngaphambi kokuba wenze enye into, kuya kufuneka ubonakalise ngokunyanisekileyo imeko kunye nolwalamano lwakho.
Yintoni kanye kanye le ikwenza uzive uthathwa kancinci? Ngaba ikhona into ayenzayo ukubonisa ukuba uyakuthanda ngendlela yakhe, osokolayo nje ukuyibona?
Ngaba kukuthatha ngokungakhathali, okanye ngamanye amaxesha unetyala elifanayo? Ubudlelwane buthatha umsebenzi - ungatsho ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba wenza isabelo sakho kuloo msebenzi? Unokuba ulungile, kodwa ngekhe.
Kubalulekile ukuba uthembeke kwisiqu sakho malunga nendima ekufuneka uyidlile kwiingxaki kubudlelwane, ukuba ikhona.
Oku akuthethi ukuba uyila izinto okanye akanatyala lokukungahoyi, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ujongane nobunyani bale meko kwaye uyijonge kuzo zonke iindawo.
2. Beka kuqala ukuzikhathalela kwakho.
Ukuba ufuna omnye umntu akuphathe ngentlonipho ekufaneleyo, into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile kukuqinisekisa ukuba awunatyala lokungahoyi wena.
Ukuba ubeka ezakho iimfuno okokugqibela, emva koko uthumela umyalezo kwiqabane lakho ukuba awudingi ukubeka phambili iimfuno zakho.
Ke, qala ukuzonwabisa kuwe. Thatha ixesha elithile xa uyidinga. Ziphathe kakuhle. Musa ukuzinika ixesha elinzima. Zithobe ngokwakho. Zenzele isipho.
Ukufumana izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kwaye uzibonakalise ukuba unembeko linyathelo lokuqala eliya kwiqabane lakho liqala ukwenza okufanayo.
3. Ziphose kwizinto ozithandayo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho alikuxabisi, oko kusenokuthetha ukuba ngelixa uliziko lehlabathi lakho, ngokuqinisekileyo awusilo iziko lakhe.
Kwaye kulungile. Ubudlelwane kufuneka bube malunga nokuthandana nokuxhasana, kodwa akufuneki kutye konke.
Nobabini nidinga ukuba nobomi ngaphandle kobudlelwane kwaye ungaxhomekeki komnye nomnye kuyo yonke into, njengoko oko kungaphilanga. Ibeka uxinzelelo olukhulu kulwalamano.
Kodwa ngeli nqanaba, isithandwa sakho okanye umyeni wakho unokuba sele ekuqhelile ukuba yinombolo yakho. Kungoko kutheni ekuthathela ingqalelo.
Ke lixesha lokuba uphinde uhlolisise kwaye ujonge kancinci kuzo zonke izinto owawuzithanda ngaphambi kokuba eze.
Zeziphi izinto ozithandayo ozithandayo? Zeziphi izinto onomdla kuzo? Yintoni ngequbuliso obunexesha elincinci lokukhubeka ebomini bakho? Uncame ntoni ngenxa yakhe?
Khumbula, umntu ozithandayo zonke ezo zinto ngumntu aqale wathandana naye kwasekuqaleni.
Ke, thatha lo mdlalo kwakhona, yiya kuloo klasi yangokuhlwa, bhukisha iholide apho ungenzi nto ngaphandle kokuzonwabisa kwakho okweveki yonke, undwendwele iindawo angenamdla wokuzibona…
Mkhumbuze ukuba unolunye uthando kwaye umbonise ukuba akayena umbindi wendalo yonke. Kuya kufuneka aqale ukukubona ngokukhanya okwahlukileyo kwaye aqonde ukuba yintoni elahlekileyo.
4. Yenza izicwangciso nabahlobo kunye nosapho.
Unolunye uthando ebomini bakho, kwaye kufuneka uchithe ixesha kunye nabo.
Akufanelekanga ukuba wenze oku nje ukukhathaza iqabane lakho. Kuya kufuneka usoloko usenza ixesha nosapho lwakho kunye nabona bahlobo bakho baxabisekileyo kunokuba ubatyeshele ngenxa yesithandwa sakho, iqabane lakho, okanye umyeni wakho.
Ndiphambene alice kwi Wonderland
Kodwa ukuqala ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nabanye aba bantu babalulekileyo ebomini bakho kunokunceda iqabane lakho liqonde ukuba ayinguye yedwa umntu obalulekileyo kuwe kwaye kufuneka asebenze nzima kancinci ukuba ufuna ulwalamano lwakho lusebenze.
5. Zibeke kuqala kube kanye emva kwexesha.
Ukuba ungumntu omhle ongazicingeliyo kwaye uthanda ukubeka phambili iimfuno zakhe ngaphezulu kwezakho, ke mhlawumbi ungene kumkhwa ombi wokucinga ukuba uyakubakho naninina xa ekufuna, kodwa ungakulungeli ukumbuyisela.
Ewe, nobabini kufuneka nikwazi ukuxhomekeka omnye komnye.
Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba aqonde ukuba ukuze akwazi ukubala kuwe, kufuneka ube nakho ukubala naye. Ezi zinto zihamba zombini iindlela.
Ke, ngamanye amaxesha ukubeka iimfuno zakho ngaphezulu kwezakhe, ngaphandle kokubandezeleka, kungasebenza njengesikhumbuzo esihle kuye sokuba uneemfuno zakho kwaye kufuneka azithathele ingqalelo.
6. Cebisani ixesha lomgangatho kunye.
Njengoko ubona, uninzi lwale ngcebiso malunga nokulawula ubomi bakho kunye nokuzenzela izinto.
Imalunga nokuba nobubele kuwe ngokwakho kuba kufanelekile, ngeli xa usazi ukuba ukuzithemba ngakumbi kuya kunceda ukumkhumbuza ukuba kutheni ethandana nawe kwaye uyibeka emngciphekweni.
Konke oko kungangqalanga, kodwa kukwakho izinto onokuzenza ngokuthe ngqo ukumnceda ukuba aqonde imeko.
Ukuba ufuna ukuba obu budlelwane buphuculwe, kuyakufuneka ubeke inzame, nokuba uziva ngathi inguye ohamba imayile eyongezelelweyo ukuphucula izinto.
Ke, cebisa ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye.
Nokuba kungokuhlwa nje okukhethekileyo, ukuphuma usuku, okanye impelaveki ekude kuyo, kufanele ukuba kumncede aphumle, azibandakanye nawe ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye akhumbule ukuba kutheni ekuthanda.
Ubudlelwane bunokuhlala kwisigqi somzimba emva kwethutyana, ke kulungile ukuba uphume kuloo nto rhoqo kwaye ubeke ukubonwa kwakhona kulwalamano kunye nendlela oziva ngayo malunga nomnye.
7. Fumana yonke idoli.
Kulula kakhulu ukuba umlingo unyamalale kubudlelwane emva komzuzwana. Uyaqheleka omnye komnye kwaye uqiniseke ngomnye kwaye uyeke ukwenza umzamo ngenkangeleko yakho.
Kodwa ukuthatha ixesha lokuba unxibe wonke umntu omthandayo kunokubuyisela kwiintsuku zokuqala kwaye kuthetha ukuba uphinde uqhagamshele.
Ke, kutheni ungacebisi ukuba nobabini ninxibe niphume niyokutya ukutya okumnandi, nina nobabini?
Ukukhanya kwamakhandlela, iwayini, kwaye akukho ziphazamiso kufuneka zenze lukhulu ukukunceda ukuba ube nengxoxo enzulu kwaye uvale umsantsa ovulekileyo phakathi kwakho.
Kananjalo kuya kumnceda ukuba aqonde ukuba zinkulu kangakanani izinto phakathi kwenu nokuba angalahlekelwa kangakanani ukuba akalumkanga.
8. Thetha naye.
Nangona ngokucacileyo kuninzi onokukwenza ukumkhumbuza indlela anethamsanqa ngayo ukuba ube nawe, isitshixo kubudlelwane obunempilo kukunyaniseka, unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo.
Kufuneka uthethe naye malunga nendlela oziva ngayo.
Zama ukunqanda nje ukuphosa indlela aziphethe ngayo ebusweni okanye ukumenza azive enetyala, njengoko enokuzikhusela.
Gxila kwindlela ofuna ngayo ukwenza izinto zisebenze phakathi kwakho. Mxelele ukuba ngelixa uyazi ukuba awufezekanga, ukumthatha ngokungakhathali kuye kwaba yingxaki kuwe.
Izibizo kukuba akayazi indlela ebeziphethe ngayo, kwaye incoko nje elula inokwanela ukwenza idenariyo imenze amenze aqonde ukuba kufuneka enze utshintsho ukuba ufuna ukukugcina ebomini bakhe.
Musa ukuhlala phantsi kokufaneleyo.
Ukuba unyanisekile kuye malunga nendlela oziva ngayo, yenza isabelo sakho somsebenzi kubudlelwane kwaye uziphathe kakuhle, akukho sizathu sokuba ulwalamano lwakho lungenakubuya umva kwaye lube sempilweni kunakuqala.
Ukuba uthatha ngokungakhathali kwaye, nokuba wenza ntoni na, loo nto ayitshintshi, ulwalamano lwakho lusenokungazinzi. Usenokungabinakho ukuxabisa into anayo kunye nelahleko yakhe, kodwa yingxaki yakhe leyo, hayi eyakho.
Ufanele ukuba kunye nomntu ocinga ukuba uyamangalisa kwaye uyazi ukuba banethamsanqa elingakanani ebomini bakho.
Ke musa ukuzinza kancinci.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba wenzeni ngolwalamano lwakho, iqabane lakho, kunye nemvakalelo yokuthatha ngokungakhathali? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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