Abantu ziziphene, izidalwa ezinzima. Kulula ukwenza izigqibo ezingalunganga kuba zihlala zilula kakhulu kunokwenza into elungileyo.
Ngelishwa, iintlobo zeemvakalelo ezibangelwa zezi zigqibo ngokubanzi azikho mnandi. Umsindo, usizi, nenzondo ziqhelekile kwaye zilindelekile.
Ingqumbo, inkcazo, kukucaphuka okukrakra xa uphathwa kakubi. Umsindo usenokuziva ubukhali, isikhumbuzo esibuhlungu sokudaniswa okanye ukungcatshwa ngumntu obefanele ukuba ubumthembile.
Inokuziva ngathi ibhalansi yezikali icinyiwe, apho lo mntu abaleke kunye nokuziphatha kwabo okungalunganga ngelixa ujongene neziphumo.
Sisoloko sinyusa ingqumbo yethu ngokuba neenkani nokungayamkeli imeko eyiyo.
Kwaye, ewe, siyazi ukuba ukwamkela nokuxolelwa kulula xa kuthethwa kunokwenza, ngakumbi ukuba umntu owenze ububi akazisoli ngezenzo zabo.
Uxolelo ludla ngokuba ligama elilahlekisayo kuloo meko kuba sihlala silujonga uxolelo njengokuxolela isenzo esingalunganga. Kungaba njalo, kodwa akufuneki kube njalo.
Ngokomzekelo, khawucinge ngoSarah, owakhula nomama wakhe owayekhathaza iimvakalelo, uClaire. Ngaba kulungile ukuba uSara waphathwa gadalala ngunina? Ngaba yayinobulungisa okanye yayisesikweni? Hayi akunjalo. Ngaba umama wakhe uyakhathala okanye uyalwamkela uxanduva ngezenzo zakhe? Kananjalo hayi. Ke kufanele ukuba enze ntoni uSara ngale meko? Ngaba kufanelekile ukuba ondise ingqumbo yakhe? Ngaba uphile ubomi bakhe njengomntu okrakra kwaye onomsindo?
Hayi, akunjalo.
Kwaye kukho uPetros. Umfazi kaPeter uLinda wayenomdla kangangeminyaka emithathu. Waya emva komqolo wakhe wamxokisa ephindaphinda ngaphambi kokuba afumanise ngokungathembeki kwakhe. U-Linda wangcatsha ukuthembela kuka-Peter rhoqo kwaye wambetha ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kwendawo xa ekugqibeleni wayekulungele ukuhamba. Wenza ntoni uPetros ngaloo nto? Yondla nje umsindo kwaye uvumele ingqumbo ngendlela aphathwe ngayo ithathe ubomi bakhe?
Kwakhona, akunjalo.
Baninzi abantu emhlabeni njengoClaire noLinda. Amathuba mahle kakhulu ukuba ukhe wadibana nezinye zazo ukuba uzama ukufumanisa indlela yokuyeka ingqumbo. Abasoloko bekwamkela ukuba into abayenzileyo ayilunganga. Uninzi lwabantu luphindwe kabini ezenzweni zabo ezingalunganga kwaye ungaze uthathe uxanduva.
Abo bakwizikhundla ezifana noPeter noSara abanakho ukubeka ulonwabo lwabo kunye nentlalontle yabo ezandleni zabantu ababebaphethe kakubi.
Kodwa mhlawumbi ingqumbo yakho ayisiyonto yobuqu. Mhlawumbi yinto ebineminye imikhosi emsebenzini…
Njengaye, uJenna usebenza nzima kwindawo yakhe yengqesho, esenza iiwotshi rhoqo ngaphezulu kwaye ehamba ngaphezulu nangaphaya komnxeba womphathi wakhe. Ufaka isicelo sokunyuselwa ajonge phambili kodwa angasifumani. Iya kumntu obonakala ngathi akenzi phantse umsebenzi omninzi, ebangela ingqumbo kumphathi wakhe, umntu asebenza naye kunye nomsebenzi ukuba ukhule. Kungenzeka ukuba uJenna wayephethwe kakubi kwaye umsebenzi wakhe onzima awuzange uvuzwe.
Kungenzeka ukuba uJenna wayengayiqondi imigaqo yomdlalo owawudlalwa ngabaphathi. Wonke umsebenzi wakhe onzima umenze ukuba abaluleke kakhulu kwimeko akuyo ngoku. Abakwazanga ukumkhuthaza ngoba akekho omnye umntu owayesebenza nzima njengaye, kwaye wayesenza imisebenzi yabantu abathathu.
Ngaba ulungile ukuba acatshukiswe koko? Ngokuqinisekileyo. Kodwa umphathi wakhe akakhathali, kwaye naye umntu onyuselweyo akakhathali. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, umsebenzi usaqhubeka.
Ukukwazi ukusebenza kwaye uphilise ingqumbo yakho kuya kunika izibonelelo ezibonakalayo kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo.
Abantu ziziphene, izidalwa ezinoburharha ezenza izidenge, ngamanye amaxesha izinto ezoyikekayo ngalo lonke ixesha ngaphandle kokunika ingcinga yesibini ngendlela ezenza ngayo izinto kwabanye abantu.
Awunakho ukuxhomekeka kubo ekuqondeni iimpazamo zabo, uthathe isigqibo sokuba bafuna ukuyilungisa, kunye nokulungisa. Uya kuchitha ubomi bakho bonke ulusizi kwaye unomsindo ukuba uyakulinda oko.
Ke, siza kukunika iingcebiso ekusebenzeni nasekuphiliseni ingqumbo yakho.
1. Yamkele kwaye uyamkele ingqumbo yakho.
Ukunyaniseka linyathelo lokuqala lokufumana ukukhululwa kwakho kulo msindo. Kufuneka uyamkele into oziva ngayo ukuba yintoni.
Into enje, “Ndiyamkela ukuba ndinomsindo kwaye ndinenzondo ngenxa yento ye-xyz eyenzekileyo. Ayinabulungisa, kwaye bekungafanelanga ukuba ndiphathwe njalo. ”
iingcebiso zomhla wokuqala emva kokudibana kwi-Intanethi
Musa ukujongela phantsi okanye ukunciphisa ezo mvakalelo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uzame ukuzicacisa kude. Ziyasebenza, nokuba uziva njani ngale meko.
2. Chonga into onokuyilawula kwimeko leyo.
Awunatyala ngezenzo ezigwenxa zabanye abantu. Nangona kunjalo, sinoxanduva lokuphendula ngezenzo zethu kunye nezigqibo esizenzayo.
Kuthekani ngemeko ephantsi kolawulo lwakho? Zeziphi izigqibo ebeluxanduva lwakho ukuzenza?
Endaweni yokushiya, masithi uPeter noLinda babamba izinto. Uphelisa umcimbi lowo, aye kwintuthuzelo, asebenze emtshatweni, kwaye athathe isigqibo sokwakha ukuthembana kwakhona.
Malunga nonyaka kamva, uLinda wagqibela ngokuba nomnye umcimbi uPeter awufumanayo. Kwelinye icala, kuyancomeka kuPeter ukuba afune ukuwulungisa loo msantsa aze adibane nenkosikazi yakhe.
Kwelinye icala, eso yayisisigqibo sakhe. ULinda uzakufuna ukungathembeki, kodwa uPeter uyakufuneka amkele into anokuyilawula kwimeko. Ukuphela kwento anokuyilawula sisigqibo sakhe malunga nokuba angazama okanye angazami ukusebenzela izinto kunye nomfazi wakhe, nokuba ingaba iyaphumelela na okanye hayi.
UPeter wayenze kwaye wenza ukhetho oluphosakeleyo lokuzama ukulungisa izinto kunye nenkosikazi yakhe, iyaqondakala loo nto. Abantu abaninzi bazama ukuhlangula ubudlelwane babo kolo hlobo lweemeko, ngakumbi ukuba ubomi babo buhlangene njengabantu abatshatileyo.
3. Thatha amanyathelo ngento onokuyilawula.
Nje ukuba uchonge into onokuyilawula, ngoku unokukhetha ukuthatha inyathelo kuyo.
USarah angafuna ukujongana nonina malunga nokuphathwa kakubi. UPeter unokufuna ukujongana nokuqhawula umtshato noLinda ukuze aqhubeke nobomi. UJenna unokugqibela ngokukhangela umsebenzi omtsha ukuze afumane amandla aphezulu awufunayo.
Ilizwi lesilumkiso malunga nokujongana: kulungile kwaye kulungile ukuzama ukujongana nabantu abakonileyo, kodwa isenokungabi yeyona ikhuselekileyo okanye ichanekileyo. Umntu ophethe gadalala usenokuphendula ngobundlobongela babo okanye nangobundlobongela.
Iimeko zasekhaya zinokuba mbi kakhulu, ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Abantu bahlala beyona nto imbi kakhulu xa ubudlelwane buqhekeka, ikakhulu ukuba kukho ukungcatshwa kunye nenzondo yokuhamba. Ungaphetha ungaqondanga unike omnye umntu ipetroli kunye neembumbulu ukuba azisebenzise ngokuchasene nawe.
ukuba uza kuthandana nam
Yima ngenene kwaye uqwalasele ukuba loluphi uncedo onokulufumana xa ungqubana nalo. Musa ukugqiba ngomsindo okanye ukhethe umlo. Kwaye ukulungele ukwamkela ukuba omnye umntu akalamkeli xanduva ngezenzo zabo kwaye uzama ukuzibek 'ityala konke kuwe. Kukho ithuba elihle abaya kuthi.
4. Yeka izinto ongenakukwazi ukuzilawula.
Kuyakufika ixesha xa ugqibile ngaphandle koncedo, apho konke kungaphandle kolawulo lwakho.
Ngawo loo maxesha, kuya kufuneka uyeke izinto ongenakuzilawula kwaye ongasokuze uvalwe. Eli nqanaba lokwamkela liyinkohliso kwaye kuya kukuthatha ixesha elininzi lokusebenza.
Xa siba nenzondo, sihlala sigxile kumsindo nakwizenzo zakhe nabani na osonileyo. Ukuyiyeka loo nto, kuya kufuneka siyitshintshe ingxelo ibe yinto esemandleni ethu.
USarah akanakulawula ukuba umama wakhe wenze izinto ezininzi eziphosakeleyo.
UPeter akanakulawula ukuba uLinda uthathe isigqibo sokuthandana.
UJenna akanakulawula ukuba umphathi wakhe ukhethe omnye umntu ukuze aqhubele phambili.
Bangazibhala njani iimeko zabo ekunyangeni nasempumelelweni?
USarah angakhetha uvelwano novelwano kunina, umntu owonakaliswe ngokwaneleyo ukuba afune ukuthatha amanyathelo ngokuchasene naye. UClaire uye wahlupheka kakhulu ebuntwaneni bakhe kunye nobomi ukuba abe yile ndlela ayiyo. Esi ayisosizathu, kodwa inokuba sisizathu.
UPeter unokukhetha ukungathathi cala endaweni yomsindo. Wayephila ngokuvisisana nezifungo zakhe kwaye wathembisa umfazi wakhe kangangoko anako. Nguye ophume ngaphandle kobudlelwane endaweni yokuzama ukufumana indlela yokusebenzela kubo, isivumelwano asenzileyo xa esithi, 'Ndiyayenza.'
Kwaye uJenna angawamkela amava akhe njengesifundo sobomi esibalulekileyo. Ngoku unamava obuqu kwinto eyenzekayo xa ebeka ezona mfuno zingcono zomqeshi wakhe kunezakhe. Angabuyisa obo bulumko kunye nokwenza izigqibo ezingcono kwixa elizayo.
Olu khetho lokufumana uvelwano kunye nokwamkelwa - uxolelo - alukho apho kuxolelwa abanye abantu kwiziphoso zabo. Uxolelo aluthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka ulibale, wamkele isimilo esibi, okanye uvuleke ukuba wenzakaliswe ngulo mntu ngakumbi. Uxolelo, kule meko ngaphandle kokuxolisa, kukuba ukwazi ukwamkela imeko ukuba yintoni kwaye uyiyeke ingqumbo endaweni yokuyiyeka ikhule.
Ngeliphandle, abantu abaninzi abalunganga. Kwaye uninzi lwabo alunakukhathalela ukuba bakwenzakalise ngenxa yokuba besongelwe kwilizwe labo elincinci. Kuya kuba lula kakhulu ukuba ukwazi ukwamkela aba bantu ukuba bangobani, ukhethe ukubaphepha, kwaye ungavumeli izenzo zabo ezingalunganga zihlale zivaleleke kwingqondo yakho.
5. Yenza umbulelo iyeza lakho lokuba nenzondo.
Umbulelo sisixhobo esinamandla sokuphelisa umsindo, ukukhuthaza ithemba kunye nokudala uxolo ebomini bakho.
Nangona umzekelo ngamnye onikwe apha ngentla ubuhlungu kwaye ucaphukisa, umbulelo unganceda ukucima ezinye zeemvakalelo ezingakhiyo eziza kuvela kubo.
wazi njani ukuba ungaphakathi kuwe
Akukho mbulelo awayeza kuba nawo uSara ngokuxhatshazwa awakunyamezelayo, kodwa wasinda. Ulapha ngoku, unokuqonda kweziganeko ezichaseneyo aye wadlula kuzo, kwaye unokusebenzisa konke oko ukwenza ikhondo elingcono lokuphilisa, uxolo kunye nolonwabo.
Kodwa ukungazi ngomonzakalo kuye kukushiya abasesichengeni sokuphinda umjikelo kwaye afane nonina. Kubi kwaye kubuhlungu, kodwa yinto onokubulela ngayo.
Ubomi bukaPeter buphazanyiswe zizenzo zomfazi wakhe. Ukhetho lokuphuma emtshatweni yayiyeyakhe, kodwa mhlawumbi le yifowuni yokuvuka ukuba uPeter afune ukutyala ixesha lakhe elininzi namandla ukugcina ubudlelwane bakhe busempilweni.
Mhlawumbi umcimbi awuzange uphume ngokuluhlaza. Mhlawumbi uLinda wamcela ukuba aye kwintetho yokunxibelelana, adale ixesha elininzi kusapho lwabo, ancede ngakumbi endlini ade ekugqibeleni anikezele.
Nangona kubuhlungu nje, lo msitho unokuba sisiseko sokukhula komntu buqu ukuhambisa uPeter kwimpilo esempilweni, elunge ngakumbi. Yinto ekufuneka uyibulele leyo.
Nangona uJenna engawufumananga umsebenzi awayewunqwenela, unombulelo kuba ngoku uyayiqonda indawo akuyo nomqeshi wakhe.
Ngoku uyaqonda ukuba kukho umdlalo omkhulu emsebenzini kunokuba usebenze nzima, kwaye uya phambili. Ubomi bunqabile ukuba busebenze njalo. Impuku ebaleka ivili isebenza nzima, kodwa ayifiki ndawo. Kufuneka adlale ngobuchule kwaye asebenze nzima ukuba ufuna ukuya phambili. Ayisiyiyo into eyonwabisayo, kodwa sekunjalo, yinto onombulelo ngayo.
Umbulelo unamandla. Kunzima ukungakhathali kunye nenzondo ukuhlala kwindawo enye njengombulelo. Okukhona unokubandakanya umbulelo kubomi bakho, kokukhona kulula ukuyeka izihlunu ezibuhlungu eziza nokuphila.
6. Sebenzisa ingqumbo njengamafutha okukhulisa.
Ke ngoko noniwe ngandlel 'ithile. Ngandlela thile oko kukwenza ixhoba. Kodwa ukuba uhlala uyiyeka ingqumbo yakho, akufuneki ubengumnini wexhoba.
Inzondelelo inokubangela ezo nkolelo kunye neenkolelo ezisekwe kwixhoba, okanye inokubangela ukuba iinkolelo zixhobise ngakumbi. Kukuwe ukuba ukhethe.
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngasentla, inzondo inokujikwa ibe sisenzo ngokubhekisele kwezo zinto uzilawulayo, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo unolawulo oluthile kubomi bakho ukuya phambili.
Ke ngalo lonke ixesha ufuna isikhuthazo sokusebenzela ukuphucula wena okanye iimeko zobomi bakho, yiya kwingqumbo. Kuthathe njengokuncamathisela iminwe emibini kuye nakubani na owonileyo, okanye kwihlabathi ngokubanzi, kwaye usithi phezulu 'F * ck wena!'
Babonise kunye nawo wonke umntu ukuba uyithatha njani indlela ephezulu kwaye wenze into elungileyo kule meko imbi, ngokufana nombulelo owufunayo kwinqanaba elidlulileyo.
Kwaye njengawo onke amafutha, iya kuthi ekugqibeleni iphele. Uya kufikelela kwindawo apho ufeze into elungileyo kwaye ukwindawo engcono ngengqondo. Inzondo iya kuba ingasekho- okanye incitshiswe kakhulu- kwaye endaweni yayo iya kuba ngcono, yomelele, yomelele ngakumbi.
7. Sombulula iimpazamo zexa elizayo.
Inzondo kwenye indawo yobomi bakho iya kuhlala ibangela inzondo kwezinye iindawo. Inokuphinda ibuyise inzondo ocinga ukuba ulale.
Ke kuyo yonke inkqubo yokuyeka ingqumbo malunga nento ethile, kwaye xa usiya phambili ebomini, zama ukulungisa okungalunganga kungekudala emva kokuba kwenzeke.
Sukuvumela into engalunganga ukuba yakhe phezu kwenye kude kube uyibhola enomsindo kunye nenzondo kwakhona. Ukuba kukho into eyenzekayo oziva ngathi ayinabulungisa, yithathe amanyathelo kwaye uzame ukwenza uxolo naye nawuphi na umenzi wobubi. Ukufumana isisombululo kwangoko kuya kuthetha ukuba umba unokulaliswa ngokusebenzayo, kodwa okona kubaluleke nangakumbi, ngokweemvakalelo.
Ngale ndlela, ungalisusa ixhoba lakho ulibuyisele endaweni apho ujongana khona nemicimbi kunye nengxabano ukuze uphephe ukuziva ungonwabanga ixesha elide.
Oku kuya kuzo zonke iindlela zokwenza okungalunganga, kodwa ngakumbi ezo zinxulumene ngqo nomthombo wakho wangoku, ophambili wentlungu kunye nokwenzakala.
USarah kufuneka abize izenzo zokuhlukumeza ngokwasemphefumlweni ezivela kwabanye abantu ngaphandle kukanina - bobabini abakhulu nabancinci - okanye baya kumkhumbuza ngokumphatha gadalala kukanina. Kangangokuba inokujongana nale ngqumbo iphambili, inokuphakamisa intloko yayo embi ukuba iimeko ezifanayo ziyenzeka kwaye kungajongwana nazo.
UPeter akufuneki avumele ubuxoki obuncinci bume kubudlelwane bakhe bexesha elizayo kuba baya kusebenza kuphela ukuphakamisa umba omdala wokuba umfazi wakhe uthandana. Kuya kufuneka anyanzelise ukunyaniseka nokucaca kungenjalo uya kugqibela enomsindo kwiqabane elitsha-okanye ngenene abahlobo okanye amalungu osapho-ngokuqhubela phambili komjikelo wokulahlekiswa kwakhe.
UJenna kufanele ayenze icace kumqeshi wakhe nakubaphi na abaphathi bexesha elizayo ukuba akazukuthathelwa ingqalelo ngenxa yokuba esebenza nzima, iinzwane zelayini, kwaye esenza umsebenzi oqinileyo. Kuya kufuneka abe nemida esempilweni kwindawo enxulumene nemisebenzi aceliweyo ukuba ayenze kunye nexesha azimisele ngalo ukunikezela emsebenzini wakhe. Ukuba umphathi wakhe umthumelela imeyile ngeempelaveki, kufuneka azive ekwazi ukuyihoya okanye axelele umphathi wakhe ukuba kungaxoxwa ngayo ngoMvulo.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungayisusa njani ingqumbo ukuze ingaphindi ichaphazele ubomi bakho? Thetha nomcebisi namhlanje onokuhamba kwinkqubo. Cofa nje apha ukunxibelelana nenye.
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