Ihlazo yimvakalelo eqhelekileyo yokuziva xa ujongene nezenzo zakho ezimbi. Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive uneentloni iiyure ezimbalwa okanye nokuba ziintsuku emva kokwenza into engathandekiyo ebangela olovakalelo.
Ukuhlazeka okunetyhefu kwahlukile.
Iintloni ezinetyhefu zihlala zibangelwa kukuphathwa gadalala kwabantwana kunye nokungakhathalelwa, apho umntwana wenziwa waziva elahliwe, engahoywanga, okanye engamkelekanga kubazali.
Umzali kusenokwenzeka ukuba ebengekho, engakhathali, umntu osebenzisa iziyobisi, egula ngengqondo, okanye ngenye indlela exakeke kakhulu ziingxaki zakhe ukuze abe ngumzali okhoyo nonothando.
Isenokubangelwa ngamava abuhlungu, uxhatshazo lwasekhaya, okanye umlutha.
Iintloni zangaphakathi umntu azithweleyo zixhomekeke kwaye zilwa nembono yazo.
Kwabanye abantu, inokuba bubuntu babo kwaye ibe noxanduva lweengxaki ezinje ngokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi, i-PTSD, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, kunye noxinzelelo. Kwabanye, ihleli phantsi komhlaba kwaye inokubangelwa ziimpazamo okanye iimvakalelo zokungafaneleki.
Ukuchonga iintloni ezinetyhefu kunokuba nzima kuba akusoloko kuphakama ngaphezulu, kodwa ezinye iimpawu zentloni yetyhefu zibandakanya…
1. Ukuqala kwangaphandle akufuneki ukuba kubangele ihlazo.
Umntu ophila eneentloni ezinetyhefu akazukufuna i-trigger yangaphandle yokwenza ihlazo labo. Iingcinga zabo zinokuzisa ezo mvakalelo, ngamanye amaxesha ngaphandle kokubakho konxibelelwano lokwenyani phakathi komsitho kunye neemvakalelo.
Okanye, ukuba kukho umsitho, isenokungabinantloni kwaphela. Endaweni yoko, kukucofa kwiimvakalelo zokungoneliseki, okuseta ihlazo.
2. Bafumana iintloni zomoya ezikhokelela ekucingeni okungenampilo.
Ukudakumba komoya kuhamba ngaphezulu lee kunento umntu anokuyilindela ngokufumana nje ihlazo. Umntu unokufumana uxinzelelo olukhulu, ukuphelelwa lithemba, kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba ngenxa yeentloni zabo njengoko ixesha liqhubeka, kwaye iingcinga zakhe ziqhubeka.
3. Iintloni ezinetyhefu zihlala zibandakanya 'ibali lehlazo.'
Ibali elihlazo lomntu yindlela ingqondo yakhe ethethelela ngayo iimvakalelo ezimbi abanazo ngaye. Oko kunokubandakanya izinto zokucinga ezinje, 'Umntu we-X wayenyanisile malunga nam, ndingumgqomo.'
Iingxelo kunye neengxelo ezijikeleze ezo ngcinga zihlala zikhomba kumthombo weentloni. Oko kunokubandakanya iziganeko zobuntwana bakhe, ukujongana nokuphazamiseka kweziyobisi, okanye ubudlelwane obonakalisayo.
4. Iintloni ezinetyhefu zisenokungabi nawo umthombo ocacileyo nowahlukileyo.
Ukuhlazeka okunetyhefu kunokuba sisiphumo sokuxhatshazwa kwexesha elide okunganyanzelekanga ukuba kubekho into eyodwa. Inokuba yimveliso yeminyaka yokuvezwa koku kungakhathali apho onke amava ayenoxanduva lokudala ihlazo elinetyhefu.
5. Iziganeko zendalo zeentloni zinokuba nde kwaye zibe namandla ngakumbi.
Kungokwemvelo ukuba neentloni xa sisenza into esingazingci ngayo. Umntu ongenazo iintloni ezinetyhefu ngekhe azive eneentloni ixesha elide kuneentsuku ezimbalwa okanye xa elungisa isenzo sabo.
Abantu abaneentloni ezinetyhefu baya kuyifumana ixesha elide, nokuba bayayilungisa ingxaki ephembelele iimvakalelo zokuqala zeentloni. Ubunzulu bezo mvakalelo bunokuba nzima.
6. Banokuziva bengonelisekanga.
Ukungoneliseki ngumzabalazo wabantu abaneentloni ezinetyhefu. Basenokungaze okanye banqabile bazive ngathi bakulungele ukuphumelela, abanye abantu, okanye izinto ezintle ezinokwenzeka ebomini. Baza kuhlala beziva bengafanelekanga kwaye bayafuna ukufumana indawo yabo kubudlelwane.
Olu hlobo lweemvakalelo lunokubangela ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kwaye lutshixe loo mntu iipateni zobudlelwane obungenampilo bade bakwazi ukuphula umjikelo wabo.
7. Banganeentloni zokuxhalaba.
Oko kukuthi, bajolise kakhulu ekuzameni ukungafumani naluphi na uhlobo lweemvakalelo ezihlazo. Oku kunokujongeka njengokuhlawula ngaphezulu kubudlelwane, Uxolo olugqithisileyo kwabanye abantu nokuba akukho siphoso senziwe, okanye ngaphambi kokuba kwenziwe ububi.
Umntu uya kwenza utshintsho kwindlela abenza ngayo ubomi babo ukunqanda ukuba neentloni, njengokungathathi umngcipheko obaliweyo, ukungafaki isicelo sonyuselo, ukungabuzi mntu ngaphandle komhla, kunye nabantu abathandekayo.
8. Basenokuba nokuthetha ngokungaguquguquki kunye neenkolelo ezisekwe kwiintloni.
Ukuthetha kakubi kunye neenkolelo ezisekwe kwihlazo zivakala ngoluhlobo:
- Ndingumntu wenkunkuma.
- Andithandeki.
- Andithandeki.
- Andilunganga ngokwaneleyo.
-Ndinqwenela ukuba bendingekho.
- Bekungafanelanga ukuba ndizalwe.
- Ndisisidenge , ungazi, okanye uxabiseke.
- Ndiyintsomi, ubuqhetseba.
- Ndiya kuhlala ndingumntu owoyikekayo.
9. Ukulungelelanisa okugqithileyo kwabanye.
Ukuziqhelanisa okungenampilo, nokugqwesa ngokugqithileyo kwabanye abantu kunokubonisa iintloni eziyityhefu. Kulapho umntu acinga ukuba abanye abantu bangcono kakhulu kunaye ngenxa yeziphi na iimpawu abakholelwa ukuba banazo aba bantu.
Umntu unokuzixelela ukuba abanye abantu banomtsalane, bakrelekrele, okanye bangcono. Banokuvakalelwa kukuba abanakuze bakwazi ukufikelela kule milinganiselo bazibekele yona. Oko kuyilo lokuphepha kwabo iintloni.
Kukho ithuba elincinci lokuziva uneentloni ngokungaphumeleli ukuba babeka ibar kude kakhulu kude ukuba bangakholelwa ukuba kunokwenzeka nakubani na kodwa ngabona banobuchule bokufikelela kuyo. Oko kulungelelaniswa kuba yindlela yokuzikhusela engafanelekanga ebanika imvume yokungazami.
Eyona ngxaki inkulu ineentloni ...
ungazi njani ukuba mhle
Nangona zininzi iingxaki zokuba iintloni zinokumenzakalisa njani umntu ohlala nayo, owona mcimbi mkhulu kukungazazi ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziyingozi kunye nokuziphatha.
Ngokusebenzisa iindlela ezingekho mgangathweni, baba yimikhwa eyomeleleyo, ekunzima kakhulu ukuyaphula njengoko ixesha lihamba.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba iintloni ezinetyhefu zinokuphiliswa, kwaye le imikhwa yaphulwe. Ifuna nje ixesha kunye nomsebenzi owongezelelweyo.
Ngaba ucinga ukuba unokuba neentloni ezinetyhefu kwaye ufuna uncedo ukuze woyise? Thetha kunyangi namhlanje onokuhamba kwinkqubo. Cofa nje apha ukunxibelelana nenye.
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