Ngaba ungulo chameleon ekuhlaleni?
Andiqinisekanga?
Makhe sijonge ezinye zeempawu zolu hlobo lomntu kwaye sifumanise - zininzi zazo (thina!) Kunokuba ungacinga.
Olona phawu lubalulekileyo lwe-chameleon yentlalontle, njengogqirha oguqukayo oguqula umbala, sisakhono sokudibanisa ngaphandle komthungo kuyo nayiphi na imeko yoluntu.
Banokuba bubomi kunye nomphefumlo wepati okanye bathule kwaye igcinwe baqwalasele ikakhulu iindlela zokuziphatha kwaye baya kulingisa indlela abaziphatha ngayo abanye.
Olu bhetyebhetye ekuhlaleni zihlala zizinto eziluncedo kakhulu, kunye neengcambu zengqondo kwiimfuno zethu zoluntu zokuziva sibandakanyiwe ekuhlaleni.
Oko kwathethi, kukho abo bazimisele ngenjongo ezichanekileyo zokuzibumba nokuzenzela ngokutsha njengoko imeko ethile iyalela.
Bangakwazi ukujija ngaphandle komzamo ukusuka ekuhlaleni lula ukuya ekucingeni ngokuzolileyo, njengoko imeko ifuna njalo.
Ukuziqhelanisa okunjalo kubenza babe nobuchule ekuxokeni, kodwa bakwangabaphathi beentsiba ezipholileyo xa iimeko zentlalo zingahambi kakuhle.
Aba 'ngabasebenzisi' bokwenyani esihlala sibajonga, ngokunokwenzeka ngokuncoma, kodwa mhlawumbi nangokudelela okuncinci.
Into enomdla kukuba, ukuba siyachaphazeleka kolu hlobo lobume bokutshintsha-tshintsha, kuyindalo kwaye akukho nto siyaziyo kangangokuba amaxesha amaninzi asazi nokuba siyayenza.
Kwaye, ukulunga okanye ukugula, kukho okungaphaya kokuncinci kolu hlobo lokuziphatha kuninzi lwabantu.
Kukangaphi uthetha nomntu othetha ngendlela engacacanga kwaye ungaziqondanga uzifumana ulinganisa i-twang yabo eyahlukileyo?
Okanye mhlawumbi uzibambe ngokungazi ukuba ukopa ulwimi lomzimba lomntu othetha naye?
Yintoni i-Psychology?
Ekugqibeleni, kuyehla kwizengqondo kunye nethiyori enye emva kotyekelo lwethu lokulingisa indlela yokuziphatha kwabanye abantu kukuba inokubakhuthaza ukuba bazive ngathi.
Kwaye uninzi lwabantu siyathanda ukuthandwa, akunjalo?
UKUYA ukutyhila isifundo sengqondo zimisele ukuphonononga ukuba ngaba abantu bayalinganisa ngokuzenzekelayo abanye, kwanabantu abangazange badibana nabo ngaphambili.
Izifundo ezingama-78 zancokola nomntu 'ongaphakathi' - umntu ongamaziyo - owayenconyelwe ukuncuma, ukubamba ubuso babo, kunye nokugungqa iinyawo ngexesha lokudibana.
indlela yokwenza umfana akuhloniphe emva kokulala naye
Iziphumo zabonisa ukuba uninzi lwezifundo ngokungazi zilingise iinyawo ezibalekayo kunye nobuso obuchukumisayo.
Umbuzo wesibini uphononongo olwenziweyo ukuze uphendule kukuba ngaba ukulinganisa kunyukile ukuthanda.
Ukwenza lo msebenzi, izifundo zaxoxa ngemifanekiso engahleliwe kunye nabangaphakathi.
Abanye babangaphakathi babexelelwe ukuba balingise ulwimi lomzimba, ngelixa abanye bexelelwe ukuba bangakwenzi.
Xa bebuzwa kamva ukuba baziva njani malunga nokunxibelelana, izifundo eziye zafumana ukulingiswa zikulinganise njengokuzonwabisa ngakumbi kunabo babengenako.
Ngezi ziphumo engqondweni, ngaba sonke sinokuxhamla ekwandiseni ukuqonda kwethu?
Ngaba sonke kufanelekile ukuba sibe njengamalandela ekuziphatheni kwethu?
Ngaba inokuba yile nto iya kuba sisitshixo sempumelelo emsebenzini okanye kubomi bethu bokuthandana?
Ngelishwa akunjalo.
Ngoba?
Ngenxa yokuba icandelo eliphambili lesiphumo se-chameleon kukuba asiqondi ukuba siyayenza.
Nawuphi na umzamo wokukopa ukukhuphela ulwimi lomzimba wabanye akunakulindeleka ukuba ube nesiphumo esijolise kuso.
Uyichonga njani iNtlalontle
Njengokuba uGqr. Mark Snyder, isazi ngengqondo kwezentlalo kwiYunivesithi yaseMinnesota, isitsho isizinzulu sentlalontle sizama 'ukuba ngumntu olungileyo kwindawo efanelekileyo ngexesha elifanelekileyo.'
Zincinci kwaye ulungelelwaniso olunomdla kwindlela abanye abaphendula ngayo kubo kwaye bahlala bezilungisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo xa besiva ukuba abayenzi imbonakalo elungileyo.
UGqr Snyder uqhubeka ecaphula imbongi yase-Bhritane u-W. U-Auden, owayenyanisekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba avume ukuba ubunyani bomntu wakhe 'behluke kakhulu kumfanekiso endizama ukuwenza ezingqondweni zabanye ukuze bandithande.'
NgokukaGqirha Snyder , oonontlalontle - 'abazijonga ngeliso eliphakamileyo' njengoko ebabiza- badla ngoku:
-Nika ingqalelo kwizinto ekuhlaleni, ujonge abanye ngomdla ukuze wazi ukuba kulindeleke ntoni kubo ngaphambi kokuba baphendule.
-Zama ukuba njengabanye abalindele ukuba babe njalo, ukuze bahlalisane kwaye bathandwe. Umzekelo, bazama ukwenza abantu abangabathandiyo bacinge ukuba banobuhlobo nabo.
- basebenzise ubuchule babo ekuhlaleni ukubumba inkangeleko yabo njengezinto ezingafunekiyo, ukuze, njengoko abanye bebeka, 'Ngabantu abohlukileyo ndiziphatha njengomntu owahluke kakhulu.'
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Iimpawu ze-4 Uxoka Kuwe (+ Iindlela ezi-6 zokuYiyeka)
- Izinto ezili-11 kuphela ngabantu abathembekileyo abaziqondayo ngobomi
- Kutheni ingqibelelo ibaluleke kangaka ebomini
- 'Kutheni Abantu Bengandithandi?' Izizathu ezi-9 zokuba abantu abafuni ukuba ngumhlobo wakho
- Iimpawu ze-7 zabaHlobo beNkohliso: Ungayijonga njani iMayile enye
- Njani uMachivavellian Ngaba ukuSikali esivela kwi-1-100?
kwakutheni ze pat no jen bahlukane
Ngaba Ungayithemba Intlalontle?
Lilonke, ezi mpawu zinokubonwa njengezintle kwaye ziluncedo, ngakumbi kuseto lwentengiso.
Kodwa uphando lubonisa ukuba umntu onobuchule bokuzibumba kwi-personas eyahlukileyo angahlawula ixabiso kubudlelwane bakhe obusondeleyo.
Ngelixa banokuphumelela kakhulu ekwenzeni ukubonwa okuhle kunxibelelwano nabantu abangabaziyo okanye kwimeko zeshishini, bahlala bezabalaza malunga nobuhlobo kunye nothando.
Amaqhina asondeleyo anjalo asekwe kukuthembana kwaye kuyaqondakala ukuba kunzima ukuthembela emntwini onobuntu obunamanzi kwaye obungalindelekanga.
Gcina ingcinga, nangona kunjalo, kubantu abangaguqukiyo kwelinye icala, abangakwaziyo ukuziqhelanisa nokuziphatha kwabo ukuze balingane nabanye, baneengxaki ezahlukeneyo.
Ukuqina kwabo kunye ukungabikho kovelwano inokubabiza kakhulu kwintlalo.
Ngombulelo, uninzi lwethu luhlala naphi phakathi kwezi zibonda zichasene.
Uphando lukaGqirha Snyder luveze ukuba malunga neepesenti ezingama-40 zabantu bakholisa ukuhlengahlengisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo ukuze zilungele iimeko ezahlukileyo-indlela ye-chameleon.
I-60% eseleyo ilawulwa kancinci yile nkanuko yokuncoma kuzo zonke iindleko.
Uthi uninzi lwabantu lusebenza kumgangatho ophakathi, ukwahluka isitayile sabo ngokweemeko ezahlukeneyo zentlalo okanye zobungcali.
Izichaso azitsaleli
Unokucinga ukuba u-chameleon wentlalontle anganakho ukuqhubeka nomnye umntu, kunye nolwelo lwabo ... kodwa uya kuba uphosakele xa kufikwa kwizichasi zabo ze-polar.
UWilliam Ickes, ugqirha wengqondo kwiDyunivesithi yaseTexas, wafunda abantu abavela kwiziphelo eziphikisanayo, ukuvavanya ukungqinelana kwabo.
Isifundo sakhe Utyhile ukuba abantu ababini kwisiphelo esinye sobubanzi-obuphezulu okanye obuphantsi-bavana kakuhle, ngelixa iindidi ezixubeneyo zingafumani mhlaba bavumelana ngawo.
Ugqirha Icke ucacisile:
'Ezantsi zifana noJohn Wayne, taciturn ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ngokufanayo nokuba baphi. Iindawo eziphakamileyo zifana noWoody Allen's Zelig, ngokuzama ukuzama ukulunga nabani na onaye. Kodwa ezi ziphantsi azibonisi imigangatho eyaneleyo yokwazi indlela ekufuneka bezame ngayo.
I-Chameleon 'yeNgcali'
Into enomdla kukuba, uninzi lwabantu luthanda ukuba luhlobo lwe-chameleon kwindawo yokusebenza, apho zihambelana kakhulu nemfuno yokuqaqambisa umnqweno wabo wokuphumelela.
Abantu abafanayo, nangona kunjalo, bahlala benyanisekile ngakumbi kubo xa besekhaya, apho kungekho mfuneko yokuba zonke izinto kubo bonke abantu ngamaxesha onke.
Kwaye, ngelixa sikwisifundo somsebenzi, ayothusi into yokuba ubuchwephesha abathile butsale abantu abanethuku lemvelo abakwaziyo ukulungisa imeko yabo ukuze ilungele nayiphi na imeko abajamelana nayo.
Eyona nto icacile, ewe, iyasebenza, kodwa i-chameleons yentlalontle nayo iyazigqwesa kwezopolitiko, kwizangqa zozakuzo nakowuphi na umsebenzi onxulumene nentengiso.
Benza ukuqhekeza amagqwetha atshutshisayo ngezizathu ezicacileyo. Kwiindima ezinje ngezi, chameleon inokusebenza kwelona nqanaba liphezulu.
Ayisiyo Yonke Into Engathandekiyo
Masingabi mbi kakhulu nge-chameleon yentlalontle, kuba amandla okuba novelwano, ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomnye umntu, yinto eyimfuneko nenokudunyiswa ngabantu.
Ihlabathi beliya kuba yindawo ehlwempuzekileyo ngaphandle kwalo.
Kuxa kanye xa kusiwa kugqithiso apho oku kuziphatha kukhokelela kwi ukwaphuka kokuthembana kunye nefuthe kubudlelwane.
Uninzi lwethu, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, lukhetha ukunxibelelana nabantu abanyanisekileyo kubo kwaye isimilo sentlalontle esizimeleyo asiyiyo loo nto.
Njengoninzi lwezinto, konke malunga nesidanga kwaye ngokucacileyo kukho abo bakwiziphelo ezahlukeneyo zendlela yokuziphatha, ukusuka kwabaqhubi bokugqibela ukuya kwiindawo zabo ezichaseneyo polar abangakwaziyo ukuziqhelanisa kwaphela.
Oko kushiya uninzi lwethu phakathi, silungelelanisa indlela esiziphatha ngayo ngokuchanekileyo njengoko kufuneka silungelelane kunxibelelwano lwethu nabahlobo, usapho kunye nabantu esisebenza nabo.
Singafana nolovane xa imeko ifuna njalo, kodwa kwangaxeshanye hlala uyinyani kuthi.
