Xa abantu ababini bethandana kwaye bebudlelwane obuzinikeleyo, umxholo womtshato unokuvela kakuhle.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yeyiphi indlela ebhetele yokubonisa ukuba niyathandana kwaye nizinikele ngaphezu kokuthembisa izithandane, imbeko, kunye nokwazana ngonaphakade?
Ewe, ezo zibhambathiso kulula kakhulu ukuzigcina ukuba ulungile kwangaphambili ingaba nikwazi ukuhlala kunye ngokuvisisanayo.
Ndiyathetha, yintoni enokuba mbi ngaphezu kokutshata nomntu, ukuhlala kunye, emva koko ufumanise ukuba bayanxila kwaye bayahlukumeza xa benestres?
Okanye ukuba abanankathalo ngemali, beshiya amatyala omabini angahlawulwanga, kwaye beshiya umthwalo wemali emagxeni akho?
Zininzi izibonelelo zokuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato-nokuba kungokwexeshana. Apha ngezantsi zizizathu ezisithoba zokuthathela ingqalelo ukwenza oko.
1.Ukufumana ukuba uyahambelana na.
Yinto enye ukuchitha ubusuku bangoLwesihlanu kunye kunye nokuzimasa iminyhadala njengesibini.
Yenye into ngokupheleleyo Ukwabelana ngendawo yokuhlala.
Abantu badla ngokuziphatha kakuhle xa bethandana, njengoko bezama ukwenza olona phawu lubalaseleyo.
Kulula ukuncuma, kwaye uyathandeka, kwaye unxibe iimaski zobuntu ezithile iiyure ezimbalwa ngeveki.
Imibala yokwenene yomntu, nangona kunjalo, iphuma ngokuhamba kwexesha. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi xa kukho iimeko zoxinzelelo omele ujamelane nazo.
Ukuba uhlala nomntu ngaphambi kokuzibophelela emtshatweni, unokufumana iinyani ezingathandekiyo malunga nobuntu babo, okanye indlela abaphila ngayo.
Ngaba banelisekile kukuphila ngaphandle kokufaka imali? Ngaba ayicocekanga?
Ungafumanisa ukuba bayarhona kakhulu ukuba ungabamba. Okanye amasiko akho asekuseni asenokuba yingxaki kwaye ayabacaphukisa.
Sonke sinemikhwa esiyihlakuleleyo kwiminyaka edlulileyo isenza sithuthuzele kwaye sithuthuzele. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba imikhwa yabantu ababini iyahambelana.
Ukuba umkhuba wakho wangoMgqibelo kusasa kukutsiba uphume ebhedini uphume uyokubaleka, kwaye iqabane lakho liyakuthanda ukuphumla kwimfumba yomqamelo kude kube semini, oko kunokuxoxwa ngako ukuze nizaliseke nobabini.
Ngokuchasene noko, ukuba isithethe sakho sakusasa sibandakanya ukuqhushumba i-rap ngo-6 kusasa ukuze wenze iindlela zakho zokuwela, kwaye konke abafuna ukukwenza kukuphumla, oko kuya kubangela ungquzulwano oluninzi.
2. Inokutyhila abanokuthi baphule isivumelwano.
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe apha ngasentla, abantu bakwindlela abaziphethe ngayo xa besazi abantu abatsha.
Kwaye nokuba uyajola kangangeminyaka, awunakumazi ngokupheleleyo umntu ukuba ukhe umbone amaxesha ambalwa ngeveki.
Ke enye into yokuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato iwele ezingqondweni zakho kukuba unokufumanisa ukuba bahlala njani ezoyikeka kakhulu ukuba zingaphathwa.
Masithi iqabane lakho libanga ukuba liyazithanda izilwanyana, kodwa wakube nihlala kunye, ufumanisa ukuba zikhohlakele isilwanyana sakho.
Okanye ufumanisa ukuba utyekelo lwabo lokufumana utywala kumatheko kukwabonakalisa njengokuzisela ukuba balale ubusuku nobusuku.
Ungafumanisa ukuba banemicimbi yomsindo ezibonakalisa njengeziqhushumbisi, izithuko ezixhaphazayo okanye - amazulu ayabathintela - ubundlobongela.
Zininzi izinto ezahlukileyo ukujongana nabaphuli ukuze bazityhile kuphela xa benikhe nahlala kunye okwethutyana.
Kungcono ukuba ufunde ngezi zinto kwangoko kangangoko, ukuze ungazifumani ukwimeko enzima (njengokuxhomekeka, nabantwana) ekuya kuba nzima ngakumbi ukushiya.
3. Uya kufumanisa ukuba ukusondelelana kwakho ngumlilo weziko okanye umlilo wasendle.
Enye yezona zinto zimangalisayo ngolwalamano olutsha ngumlilo wolwalamano olushushu olutshisa phakathi kwabantu ababini.
Nje ukuba ukhululeke ngokwaneleyo omnye komnye ukuze ube nokuvuleka ngokwenyani ngokwesondo, kuya kubakho ukubonwa kwimizimba yomnye nomnye kangangeeyure ngexesha. Iintsuku nokuba.
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Kodwa ngaba lo mnqweno uzinzile?
Unxibelelwano olusenyongweni lunokuba njengokutsha njengomlilo wasendle, odle yonke into elijikelezileyo… kodwa emva koko uphume ngokukhawuleza.
Ngokwahlukileyo, elinye ilangatye lisenokucotha, lizinzile, kwaye liqhubeke. Ngokusisiseko, i-ember enokukhanya kwiziko lokuhlala ngonaphakade kanaphakade.
Ewe, ukusondelelana ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuyaphela kwaye kuhamba ngaphezulu kobudlelwane. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kubakho amaxesha apho uyiplatonic ngakumbi, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha xa nisityana omnye komnye.
Kodwa ukuba nilahlekelwa ngumdla wesini omnye komnye kwisithuba seenyanga ezimbalwa zokuhlalisana, kuya kufuneka nizibuze ukuba ingaba nifuna nyani na ukuhlala kumhlaba weplatonic enizithobayo kule minyaka ingama-50 izayo.
4. Iya kubonisa abo bangatshatanga ukuba nisisibini esimanyeneyo.
Ayilulo lonke ubudlelwane oluxhaswayo lusapho kunye nabahlobo. Ngapha koko, usenokudibana nenkcaso enamandla evela kubantu obathandayo ukuba uthandana nomntu wolunye uhlanga, inkolo, okanye isini kunokuba bevuma.
Banokude bahambe bade bazama nokukuqhekeza ukuze ube kunye nomntu abanokukhetha.
Ukuhlala kunye kubabonisa ukuba ninemqolo omnye nomnye, kwaye banjalo imanyano ngaphambili nxamnye nantoni na abayilawulayo.
Ukuthi ulwalamano yinto enye: abantu banokuhlala bekhanyela ngayo yonke into abayifunayo. Kodwa xa usabelana ngendawo yokuhlala, yinto enkulu yokuvuka kubo malunga nokuba uzimisele kangakanani.
5. Ukuhlala kunye kuvumela iimpawu ezintle nezingalunganga zobuntu ukuba zikhanye.
Ukuhlala kunye kunokukwenza ukuba uthandane neqabane lakho nangakumbi, njengoko ufumanisa ukuba ziyoyikeka ngakumbi kunakuqala.
Ungafumanisa ukuba benza izinto ezimnandi ngokwenyani, ezinengqondo ekhaya, okanye isenzo sabo sikhupha eyona nto intle kuwe.
Ngokwahlukileyo koko, abantu abaninzi ekufuneka bezikhuphile emitshatweni baye kwi-narcissists bazikhahlela ngokungaziboni iimpawu zabo ezimbi zomlingane ngaphambi kokuba batshintshe izifungo.
Inyani yile yokuba kunokuthatha unyaka okanye nangaphezulu ukuba umntu obonisa izinto ezingekho mgangathweni ubonakalise izinto ezimnyama kubuntu babo. Bavumela kuphela i-facade yabo enomtsalane ukuba ityibilike phantsi koxinzelelo, okanye ukuba kufike omnye umntu ozokuthimba umdla wabo.
Ukuba ungxama emtshatweni nomntu obonakala emhle kakhulu ukuba angayinyani, kukho ithuba elihle abakho ngokwenene.
Ke, esinye isizathu sokuzinika unyaka olungileyo okanye emibini yokuhlalisana ngokuqinileyo kukufumanisa ukuba uchane kangakanani lo mntu.
Kuphela kube kanye emva kokuba ixesha lasemva komtshato lidlulile apho uya kuthi uqonde ukuba uya kuba nakho na ukonwaba kunye.
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6. Uya kuba nakho ukuseka imikhwa elungileyo ekwabelwana ngayo.
Kungathatha ixesha elide ukuba isibini singene kwindawo efanelekileyo yokusebenza kunye, kwaye kungcono ukuba kulungiswe kakuhle ngaphambi kokuba niphakamisane ngaphezulu komtshato.
Ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato kukuvumela ukuba ukhuthazane ezona mpawu zintle zomnye, kwaye nisebenze kunye ukwenza iinkqubo kunye nemikhwa oko kuninceda nina nobabini.
Abantu abahlala bodwa bahlala bonqena malunga nokutya abakutyayo, bekhetha ukulungelwa ngokukhawuleza kunempilo. Xa nihlala kunye, niyakukwazi ukudibanisa iimali zokutya ezikumgangatho ophezulu, kwaye niphonononge iindlela zokupheka ezahlukeneyo kunye.
Kananjalo uya kukhuthaza omnye nomnye ukuba ungene kwimithambo enempilo kunye neendlela zokulala, kwaye ulungelelanise ixesha kunye nabanye abahlobo, izinto ozithandayo, njl.
Ngale ndlela, xa utshatile, sele ufumene amaqhuma etyibilikisiwe kwaye ulungiselele indlela yobambiswano olukhulu ngakumbi.
7. Kukulinga kokulingwa kobomi bexesha elide kunye.
Izenzo zithetha kakhulu kunamazwi, kwaye indlela umntu aziphatha ngayo emva kokuba nihleli kunye kangangeenyanga ezintandathu iya kukunika umbono oqinisekileyo wokuba bazakuba njani kwiminyaka eliqela.
Usenokuba uchithe impelaveki kunye, okanye uye ekampini iveki yonke, kodwa loo nto yahluke kakhulu kubomi bemihla ngemihla, bemihla ngemihla.
Ukuhlala kunye kukuvumela ukuba ubone ukuba unjani lo mntu ixesha elide.
Ngaba bayenyuka baye benze isabelo sabo ekuphekeni nasekucoceni, okanye bayalususa olo xanduva kwaye bayakuvumela ukuba ulunakekele?
Ngaba bakhuthele malunga nokulandela emva kwabo? Kuthekani ngokuhlawula amatyala kwangexesha?
Xa nihlala kunye ngaphambi kokuzibophelela ebomini ukwenza njalo, unoluvo lokuba unakho na, enyanisweni, ukuhlala ngokuvisisanayo.
Ukuba unokuxoxa ngeengxaki kwangoko kwaye ufumane izisombululo kunye, kulungile!
Ngokwahlukileyo, ukuba wonke umcimbi udibene nobutshaba, ke leyo iflegi enkulu ebomvu ekufuneka uyiqwalasele.
8. Ukufuduka kubiza imali encinci kwaye kulula kunokuqhawula umtshato.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, wonke umntu uyawathanda amandla kwaye uyonwabile eqhuma emtshatweni. Kuyo yonke imibhiyozo esinokuthi sithathe inxaxheba kuyo ebomini bethu, imitshato ibambe olona lonwabo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yimibhiyozo yothando, ukuzinikela, kunye nokubanakho.
Zikwadla ngokubiza kakhulu. Kwaye ukuba ucinga ukuba umtshato ubiza imali eninzi, uqhawulo-mtshato lusenokuba lubi ngakumbi.
Kuxhomekeke ekubeni utshatile ixesha elingakanani, awuzukujongana kuphela nemirhumo yezomthetho yokuqhubekeka noqhawulo-mtshato lwakho: usenokuphikisana nokwahlulwa kwepropathi, iindleko zokukhathalela abantwana ekwabelwana ngazo, inkxaso yomlingane, kunye nezinye iindleko ezininzi.
Ukuba uhlala kunye neqabane lakho ngaphambi kokuba uboshwe kuyo yonke imimiselo enxulumene nomtshato, kwaye nina nobabini nigqibe ekubeni anivisisani ixesha elide, omnye wenu unokuhamba nje.
9. Unokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ukhetha ukuhlala wedwa.
Ukuba awuzange uhlale neqabane ngaphambili, ukuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato kungakubonisa ukuba uyazi ntoni…? Ukhetha ngokwenene ukuhlala wedwa!
Oko akuthethi ukuba ulwalamano kufuneka luphele. Zininzi iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuxoxa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuhlala ezinokugcina wonke umntu onwabile.
Ndisazi esinye isibini esithenga izindlu zedolophu ezikufutshane kwaye sihlala kufutshane nesinye, sonwabe kakhulu, amashumi eminyaka. Ekugqibeleni ndivile, babehleli kunye, banelisekile ngeendawo zabo, kwaye bazinikele ngokupheleleyo omnye komnye.
Kwaye, ukuba wonwabile xa uhlala wedwa, kulungile. Kungcono ukunyaniseka ngayo kwangoko kunokuba uqhekeze usapho olunamandla iminyaka eliqela phantsi kwendlela.
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Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo kukho abanye abantu abaya kuba noluhlu lweengozi malunga nokuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato. Banokude bathi ezinye zezibonelelo ezidweliswe apha ngasentla ziyinyani kuba zinokukhokelela ekuqhekekeni kobudlelwane.
Kodwa ukuba ubudlelwane buza kusilela ekuhlalisaneni, buzophela emva komtshato kunye nolungelelwaniso olulandelayo lokuhlala. Okanye okubi kakhulu, elinye okanye omabini amaqabane anokuba nawo ndiziva ndibanjisiwe emtshatweni ongonwabanga , ukungakwazi ukuhamba ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo.
Kubonakala ngathi akukho ngqiqweni kwaye akunankathalo kwizibini ezitshatileyo ukuba zilindele ukuba umtshato uza kwenza ukuhlala kunye kungabi noxinzelelo, amava omlingo. Ngokuqinisekileyo ngekhe.
Kuthatha ixesha ukuba zonke iinkalo zobuntu babantu ukuba zityhileke, kwaye kuphela ngokuhlala kunye kangangexesha eliqinileyo ngaphambi kokutshintshana ngezifungo oya kuthi ukwazi ukujonga ukuba uyakwazi na ukuhlala kunye ngonaphakade.
Ngaba awuqinisekanga nokuba yinto efanelekileyo yokuhlala kunye ngaphambi komtshato? Thetha kwi-Intanethi kwingcali yobudlelwane kwi-Relationship Hero enokukunceda ufumane izinto. Ngokulula.
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