Ndiyakuvuyela ngokukhulisa umntwana wakho ebudaleni!
Ubaleke i-gauntlet kwaye uphume uphumelele, kwaye ngoku unokukhula okusebenzayo ngokupheleleyo ezandleni zakho.
… Kutheni bengafuduki?
Ngokukrakra, lo ngumba ojamelene nabazali abaninzi, kwaye ngulowo babengawulindelanga xa banyathela uJunior enkulisa.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngaba ayinguye wonke umntu omdala ophuphayo ozimele geqe xa ebaleka indlu yabazali babo, ngayo yonke loo mithetho inzima kunye nolindelo?
nini usuku lokuzalwa lukajohn cena
Ukuba umntwana wakho akakaphumi okwangoku, usenokudideka ngakumbi ngalo mhla.
Nokuba bayakutya ngaphandle kwendlu kunye nasekhaya, okanye bakuphambanise ngento abazama ukuyidlulisa njengomculo, kwanele.
Kungcono ukubakhupha kwaye bodwa ngaphambi kokuba ulwalamano lwakho nabo lonakaliswe ngokusisigxina.
Ke, kwakhona, sibuza umbuzo olula: kutheni besekhona, kwaye unokwenza ntoni ngako?
1. Ngaba bakulungele ukuhamba?
Abantu bavuthwa ngokwamazinga ahlukeneyo, kwaye ngenxa yoko, baya kuba namaqondo ahlukeneyo okulungiselela xa kufikwa ekuntywila kwihlabathi elikhulu phaya.
Ngaba umntwana wakho woyika ngokunyanisekileyo ngethemba lokujongana nobomi obuzimeleyo?
Okanye ngaba banengqondo ephucukileyo yokufumana ilungelo kunye nokuchasa uhlobo lomsebenzi onzima owenzayo ukuze baphile (kwaye baphumelele) bebodwa?
Kukho izinto ezingenakubalwa eziya kuphuhliso lomntu ngokubanzi, kwaye ezi zibandakanya imiba eyahlukeneyo yempilo yomzimba, yeemvakalelo, neyengqondo.
Sinokulindela ukuba i-avareji ye-20-yeminyaka ukuba ibe ngumntu ogqibeleleyo, ozimeleyo ozimeleyo, kodwa oko akunakuba njalo ukuba kufuneka bajongane noxinzelelo lokukhubazeka, okanye ingxaki yezempilo engapheliyo.
Kuyafana nokuba umntwana wakho ukwisistim se-autism, okanye ukuba baya ngamava abukhali ngokwenene.
Umntu otshintsha isini, umzekelo, unokufuna inkxaso eninzi yemvakalelo evela kumama notata ngaphambi kokuba bakulungele ukujongana nehlabathi.
Ngokwahlukileyo koko, umntu obezimele ngokuqatha kwasebusaneni bakhe angatsiba aphume emnyango kwakamsinya nje ngokusemthethweni.
Thatha ixesha lokujonga ukuba kutheni umntwana wakho engekaphumi.
Ukuba ngaba ziindidi ezibuthathaka eziba nexhala ekucingeni ukwenza amadinga abo amazinyo kabini ngonyaka, mhlawumbi basekhona kuba boyika ukuzimela.
Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, abafuni nje ukuphuma kuba oko kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka bachithe imali yabo kwizinto ezinokuthenjwa ze-icky endaweni yemidlalo yevidiyo, izithambiso, kunye neeresityu, lixesha lokuba ubakhuthaze.
2. Iminqathe vs. Intonga
Ngaba umntwana wakho usabela bhetele kwizikhuthazi, okanye kwiziphene?
Ukuba yeyokuqala, ukubanika imivuzo yokuphuma endlwini kunokusebenza ngokumangalisayo ngokwenza oko kwenzeke.
Umzekelo, ukuba bayabhabha ngombono wokufuduka kuba bebegcina imali yokuhamba, unganikezela ngokunceda ukubhatala itikiti labo.
Okanye ufake isandla kwimfundo yabo, okanye isithuthi abasigcinelayo, okanye idatha yedatha yonyaka, njl.
Thatha into abayithandayo ngokwenene okanye abajonge kuyo, kwaye ubanike yona njengomvuzo wokufumana isihogo endlwini yakho ukuze ube noxolo noxolo olufunekayo.
kwenzeka ntoni eshawn michaels iso
Ngokuchasene noko, ukuba bathatha inyathelo kuphela ukuba kukho uhlobo oluthile lokubandezeleka olubandakanyekayo, unokufumana ubuchule.
Yintoni ebagcinayo? Ngaba ubenzela konke ukuhlamba kwabo? Ngaba bayakuthanda ukuxhoma ngaphandle echibini elingasemva kweyadi yakho?
Okanye ngaba banomlutha ngokwenene kwiresiphi yakho yemilingo yenyama?
Ukuba umntwana wakho okhulileyo akasuki kuba ethanda ukupheka kwakho, yeka ukupheka.
Baxelele ukuba ubukhonza ekhitshini amashumi eminyaka kwaye ngoku uza kuchitha iminyaka yakho yasekwindla uphila kwizibheno ezenziwe kwangaphambili.
Ukuba bafuna ukutya, kuya kufuneka baziphekele. Jonga ukuba kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuya kwindawo enokhetho olukhulu lokuthatha.
Oku kulandelayo kukungafani kwezinto ezahlukeneyo onokuthi uzame ukubanyanzela baphume endlini.
Ezinye zisekwe kumvuzo, ezinye zingaphezulu kwebhutsi ngasemva.
Jonga kwaye unqume ukuba yeyiphi (okanye yeyiphi indibaniselwano yayo) enokusebenza ngcono kwimeko yakho.
3. Igumbi lokuhlawulisa neBhodi (kwaye usete iMithetho yeKhaya)
Olu lolunye uhlobo 'lokuncamathela' kwiindidi zeenkani ezonwabela ubomi obuhle obubanika zona.
Misela iindleko zokurenta igumbi labo, kunye nemirhumo yokugcina indlu, ukutya, kunye nayo yonke enye inkonzo oyibonelelayo.
Ukuba banegalelo ekuphekeni nasekucoceni, kunokuba kuncinci… kodwa ukuba ungumpheki kunye nesicakakazi, bahlawulise ngazo zonke iinkonzo zakho.
Ngaphezulu koko, setha iqela lemithetho ngokungathi uqhuba indlu yokuhlala. Cwangcisa iiyure zokundwendwela ezamkelekileyo zeendwendwe, ixesha lokubuya kwi-TV kunye nezinto ezinje
Ukuba bothuswe kwaye balk kule nto ubathobela kuyo, baya kuba nakho ukuphuma ukuze bakwazi ukuzimela ngokukhawuleza.
Emva kwakho konke, xa ungumntwana, akukho nto unokuyenza ngaphandle kokuthobela imithetho yabazali bakho.
Isibonelelo esinye sokuba mdala kukukwazi ukuseta eyakho imithetho kwaye uphile ngokhetho lwakho.
Kunene? Kunene. Ukuqhubeka.
4. Bafumane Uncedo Ukuba Bayalufuna
Kwiphepha lomnqathe webala kukhetho lokunceda umntwana wakho ukuba unyanisekile ukuba unexesha elinzima.
Ngaba umntwana wakho ubambekile ekhaya ngenxa yokuba enengxaki yokufumana umsebenzi?
Banokuziva bedandatheke nyhani ngayo, kwaye ukuba ubancedile kungabenza bazive ngathi basilele ngakumbi emehlweni akho.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba bafuna ngenene ukuba uzingce ngabo, kodwa hlala ufumana izaziso zokwala (ukuba bayazenza nodliwanondlebe).
Ukuba ngaba kunjalo, baxhume kunye nomcebisi ngamakhondo kunye / okanye iarhente yokubeka umsebenzi.
Okanye, ukuba oko kuvakalelwa kukungangenisi, banike iqela lewebhusayithi kunye nezinye izixhobo kwaye ubavumele ukuba bafikelele kwiiarhente abaziva besondele kakhulu kuzo.
Ngale ndlela bajongana nomntu omdala oluncedo ongenguye umama okanye utata, kodwa usenokubanceda ukuba baqhubele phambili apho bafuna / kufuneka babe khona.
Kuyafana nokufumana indawo yokuhlala. Ukuba ufuna inzala yakho ukuba izimele ngakumbi, vumela ukuzimela kuqale ngokuqinisekisa ukuba bafumana eyabo indawo yokuhlala.
Ngaphandle koko, unokujamelana nethuba lokuba baya kukucaphukela nokuba ubakhethele ikhaya labo elitsha.
Ukuba abahlobo babo abalulo naluphi na uncedo malunga noku, bafumane ukuba bathethe neearhente zokurenta ezinokuthi zibeke ndawonye ukhetho lweeflethi ezinokubakho ukuze bazikhangele.
Abanye abantu ngokwenene balahlekile ngokumangalisayo xa kufikwa kwezi meko, kwaye kuko konke ukunyaniseka, ngaba yinto emangalisayo?
Abantu abadala abancinci bagcwele uninzi lokuqala, ukusuka kwimisebenzi yokuqala yokwenyani kunye neeflethi ukuya kuhambo lwehlabathi, ubudlelwane obunzulu, kunye nocwangciso lwexesha elide lobomi.
Nokuba ucinga kangakanani ulungiselela umntwana le nto, kusekho okuninzi abazakuhamba okokuqala ngqa.
Unokuthanda (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi):
- Ungamisa Njani Ukwenza Umntwana Wakho Okhuleyo
- UngaJongana njani noMntwana okhule engenantlonipho: 7 Akukho zingcebiso zingamampunge!
- Ungaba kanjani noqinisekiso ngakumbi kumanyathelo ama-5 alula
- Codependency Vs Ukukhathalela: Ukwahlula phakathi kweNgozi kunye neLuncedo
5. Misela imida yobuqu eQinisekileyo
Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba ubhatalela zonke iimfuno zomntwana wakho, ukusuka kwisibonelelo semihla ngemihla ukuya kwisinxibo, ukutya, kunye nokuzonwabisa?
Ukuba wenza njalo ngaphandle kokufaka idenariyo, kwaye kungekho mithetho isisiseko malunga nendlela oza kubahlawula ngayo, kutheni emhlabeni beya kufuna ukuhamba?
Yazi nje ukuba xa ubanqumle ngequbuliso emalini, banokuphendula kakubi.
Ndingenza ntoni ukuze ndidikwe?
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba ubeke umzekelo kwaye ngequbuliso uyikhuphe irabha phantsi kwabo, baya kothuka bakwenzakalise, kwaye banokungxolisa ngokwenza oko.
Oku kuyinyani ngokukodwa ukuba baye bajongana neziyobisi okanye iziyobisi kwixa elidlulileyo kwaye baxhomekeke kuwe kakhulu, okanye ukuba banesiphene kubuntu.
Okwangoku, kubalulekile ukuyenza icace into yokuba ukuxhatshazwa kwalo naluphi na uhlobo akwamkelekanga. Ewe kunjalo, oku kubandakanya zombini, kunye nezakho.
Ngaba umntwana wakho uphatha ikhaya lakho njengehostele, uzisa abahlobo basekhaya kunye namaqabane athandanayo ngalo lonke ixesha lemini nobusuku?
Ngaba uziva ungenantlonelo? Ngaba bakhe bakoyikisa okanye bakwenza uzive ungakhuselekanga kwikhaya lakho?
Ukuba kunjalo, kufuneka bakhuphe isihogo ngokukhawuleza. Olu hlobo lokuziphatha akufuneki lunyamezelwe, kwaye unelungelo lokulikhaba elunxwemeni, kwaye ufumane noncedo emapoliseni xa kufuneka njalo.
Kwelinye icala, zibuze ukuba ngaba ulungile kwaye unesidima kulo mntu uselula.
Ukuba banengxaki yokufumana umsebenzi, banokudandatheka kwaye baphelelwe lithemba.
Ukuhlala ubaphatha gadalala kwaye ubabiza ngokuba sisidleleli okanye i-leech ayizukubakhuthaza ngomlingo ngandlela ithile ukuba benze isenzo, kwaye ayizukubonakalisa umsebenzi omkhulu ezandleni zabo.
Chonga ukuba ukwiphepha elinye xa kufikwa ekunikezeleni inkuthazo kunye nenkxaso.
Unokuba ukhuthazwa ngumntu okhonkotha kuwe njenge-sergeant ye-drill, kodwa umntwana wakho unokuba luhlobo olubuthathaka. (Okanye ngokuchaseneyo.)
6. Zilungiselele ukwamkela amanye amaTyala
Ukuba abantwana bakho abakashiyanga ikhaya okwangoku, kwaye abajongani nokungasebenzi / ukungasebenzi, imicimbi yezempilo yengqondo / yomzimba, okanye ukunqongophala kwezindlu ezikhoyo, kukho enye into enkulu ekufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo: wena.
Ngaba uluhlobo lomzali owenzele yonke into umntwana wakho, endaweni yokufaka uxanduva nokuzimela?
Ukuba kunjalo, usenokuba ubenzile (kwaye usabenza) ngokubaphulukisa kakhulu.
Unokucinga ukuba ungumntu onobubele obumangalisayo, onesisa, okhathalayo ngokwenza iimpahla zabo kwaye ubakhathalele bonke nokupheka nokubacocela, kodwa okunene ubagcina bekwimeko yophuhliso olubanjiweyo.
Kutheni bethatha naliphi na inyathelo lokuqala ukuzenzela nantoni na xa usenza konke?
Yintoni enokubakhuthaza?
Imisebenzi yasekhaya inokucaphukisa. Ukupheka kunokuba nzima, ukuba abafundiswanga indlela yokwenza oko besebancinci. Ukuba mdala kunokuba luxinzelelo.
Uyabona ingxaki apha?
Abazukukhulisa kuphela uluvo lokuzimela, kodwa ukuba bangena kubudlelwane obunzulu kwaye behamba kunye neqabane labo, ngekhe baphakamise kwaye bakhathalele isabelo sabo esifanelekileyo soxanduva lwasekhaya.
Ukuba abanaxanduva kuyo nayiphi na imisebenzi yasekhaya ngelixa besekhaya, ngekhe bafunde ukuba bazi njani ekufuneka kwenziwe.
Akuzange kufuneke bahoye ezo zinto ngaphambili, kwaye kunzima kakhulu ukuyifunda loo nto ebudaleni.
Ukuba iimpahla ezicocekileyo ziye zavela ngomlingo kwigunjana labo, kwaye ukutya kwenziwa kwaye kwafumaneka xa belambile, baya kulahleka xa ilixesha lokuba bazame ukuzimela.
Bafundise into ekufuneka beyazile, kwaye bayakulungela nantoni na eya kubakho ebomini.
nini ukuthumela intombazana emva komhla
7. Ngaba wena okanye iqabane lakho niyile le meko?
Le yenye into ekufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo.
Uninzi lwabantu luxhamla lukhulu ekubeni nabantwana babo abadala bahlala nabo.
Umzekelo, umzali oqhawule umtshato usenokuziva enesithukuthezi xa umntwana wakhe osele emdala esahlala ekhaya.
Inzala ithi inokubonisa isimilo 'se-parasitic', kodwa ukuba olo hlobo lokuxhomekeka lusekiwe, kunzima ukwahlukana nalo.
Usenokungaqondi nokuba ukwenzile oku, kodwa awonwabanga yimeko ethe yavela.
Ukuba unetyala lokukhubekisa umntwana wakho ukuba ahlale nawe ngeempelaveki yangokuhlwa endaweni yokuphuma nabahlobo ngenxa yemicimbi yakho yezempilo / isizungu, banokuthi bazibambe ngenxa yokuba benyanzelekile ukuba bahlale nawe.
Kwangokunjalo, ukuba wena neqabane / iqabane lakho niye naphikisana ngokukhupha umntwana osekhulile endlwini-niphikisana nani, nabo bafuna ukuba umntwana ahlale - jongani ukuba kungenzeka iinzame zenu zonakaliswe.
Unokubeka imida eqinileyo, kuphela emva kokuba ufumanise ukuba iqabane lakho lilahla emva kwakho.
Oku kunokuba ukusuka ekubashenxiseni imali emva kokuba ubanqumle ukubaxelela ukuba bangazikhathazi ngemithetho yasekhaya enjengexesha lokufika ekhaya, okanye ukungavumeli iindwendwe zobusuku.
8. Qiniseka, Kodwa Ukwanobubele
Ubeke itoni yexesha kunye nomzamo wokuba ngumzali, uncama yonke into ukusuka ekulaleni ukuya kwedwa ixesha lokukhathalela umntwana wakho.
Umsindo, imikhuhlane, ukothuka ebhedini, umdlalo wokukhala kwabakwishumi elivisayo, amanqanaba asezantsi, unxunguphalo ngexesha lohambo lwesikolo… ibiyinto entle kakhulu.
Ngoku ujonge phambili kwindawo efunwa nguwe, ixesha lakho kunye noxolo.
Ukuba umntwana wakho akathathi manyathelo afunekayo ukuphuma, ungaziva nantoni na ukusuka kwixhala ukuya kwinzondo.
Ezi mvakalelo zinokubonakalisa ukuba ndlongondlongo nje, ubundlobongela, kwanokuphathwa gadalala ngamazwi ukuba uziva ukhathazekile.
Kulapho ke kufuneka khona umonde nemfesane.
Nceda ukhumbule ukuba umntwana / umntwana wakho akazange acele ukuza kulo mhlaba. Babengenanto bayithethayo kulo mbandela, kwaye le ndawo igcwele itoni yobunzima izizukulwana zangaphambili ezingazange zilwe nazo.
Usenokuba ubafundisile iziseko ocinga ukuba bafuna ukukhula kuzo, kodwa ngokungathandabuzekiyo zininzi izinto abazipikayo ngokunjalo.
Iiklasi zoqoqosho lwasekhaya azisekho, kwaye kwiindawo apho zisabonelela ngokusisiseko ekuphekeni nasekulondolozeni ikhaya, azigubungeli izihloko ezinje ngohlahlo-lwabiwo mali lwamakhaya.
Kwaye uninzi lwezikolo eziphakamileyo aziboneleli ngeeklasi zobuqu zezemali, okanye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yothethathethwano ngomvuzo.
Imisebenzi kunye nezindlu ezifikelelekayo ngokufanayo zinqabile kwizixeko ezikhulu, kwaye ukufumana ukhetho olufanelekileyo kuzo zombini kunokuba nzima kakhulu… nto leyo ongenakuze ujongane nayo xa wawubudala babo.
Umzekelo, xa ndafuduka ndigqibile ukufikisa, abazali bam bacinga ukuba ndibhatala imali elinganayo yerenti kwigumbi endandihlala kulo ababeza kuhlawula kwiminyaka engama-30 ngaphambili.
Babengenalo nofifi lokuba yeyiphi indleko zokufunda eyunivesithi, nokuba kutheni kubalulekile ukuba unxibelelwano lwe-intanethi kunye neselfowuni.
Aba ngabantu abafumene imisebenzi ehlawula kakhulu ngaphandle kwekholeji, kwaye bakwazi ukubonelela ngendlu esemgangathweni ngomvuzo olungileyo.
Izivumelwano zomsebenzi osisigxina ezibandakanya ukhathalelo lwempilo kunye nokonga umhlala-phantsi bezingaphaya kwekhosi, hayi inqabile… eyahluke mpela kwintengiso yemisebenzi yanamhlanje.
p> Kwaye abamakishi beminyaka abanako ukufaka isicelo.
Usenokuba ukhuliswe ngenjongo yokuba abantu bafumane iilayisensi zabo zokuqhuba beneminyaka eli-16, bathenga imoto beneminyaka eli-18, bagqibe ikholeji benama-21, bafumane umsebenzi kwangoko, emva koko batshate kwaye baqale usapho xa beneminyaka engama-30…
Kutheni abantu behamba emva kokusondelelana
… Kodwa ezona zinto zibalulekileyo azinyani.
'Iimpawu zokuba mdala' ezathi zalandelwa zizukulwana zangaphambili zisenokufikelela kubantwana bakho kangangexesha elithile.
Oku akungenxa yokuba bayonqena, okanye ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngabo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba uluntu lwale mihla lungaphezulu komzabalazo kunokuba abantu abadala abaninzi beqonda.
Uninzi lwabantu kwizixeko ezikhulu ngoku kufuneka basebenze ubuncinci kwimisebenzi emibini ukuze baphile, ngokudibanisa umsebenzi wesivumelwano kunye nokuzimela / ukuziqesha kubandakanya umsebenzi wabo.
Umntwana wakho unokuba ejongene netoni yezinto soze yaqala ukudlala xa wawulingana nabo.
Izifundo zeDyunivesithi zibeka ulutsha oluninzi kwityala labafundi elikhubazekileyo kanye njengoko kufanele ukuba baqala ebomini, kwaye imisebenzi yenqanaba lokungena kunqabile - ukuba ikhe yahlawula umvuzo ophilayo.
Unokulindela umntwana wakho ukuba aphume ekholejini aye emsebenzini wamaphupha, ungaqondi ukuba kukho amawaka abanye abantu njengabafanelekileyo ukulwela loo msebenzi.
Amaxesha atshintshile, kwaye ukuba ufuna ngenene ukunceda umntwana wakho ukuba azimele - kwaye uphume kwigumbi ofuna ukulijika libe yindawo yeyoga- kuyakufuneka ukwazi oku.
Nxibelelana nabantwana bakho, misela eyona micimbi ibabambayo kwinkululeko yabantu abadala, kwaye ubancede bathathe nawaphi na amanyathelo ayimfuneko ukuyilungisa.
Sukulibazisa: qala namhlanje. Ngoku.
Okukhona ulinde ukuba kwenziwe oku, kokukhona kuya kubakho ukukhathazeka.
Ukuba nisebenza kunye njengentsapho, ninethuba elingcono lokuba wonke umntu afezekise iinjongo zakhe.
Kwaye uyakuba nobakho ubomi bakho ubuyile ngaphambi kokuba wazi.
