Ndim lo. Nguwe lowo. Yenye into.
Izinto oza kuzenza xa udikiwe
Iilebheli-sihlala sizikhuphela ngaphandle.
Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha sisebenzisa enye, sizibeka emngciphekweni wokuyisasaza kwabanye abanokusiva okanye basibone sisenza njalo kwaye samkele ilebhile efanayo yaloo nto okanye loo mntu kuthethwa ngaye.
Iilebhile zisinceda ukuba siqhubekeke kwihlabathi elisingqongileyo, kodwa ngokubhekisele ebantwini, kunqabile ukuba babe luncedo. Endaweni yoko, basimfamekisa kubutyebi kunye nokwahluka kobomi.
Ukuba uzibhaqa ngokwengqondo okanye ngomlomo ubhala umntu njengophethe uhlobo oluthile okanye okweqela elithile, nazi izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokuyeka.
1. Abantu badidekile kwaye bayaphikisana.
Iilebheli ziluhlobo lokunciphisa-bafuna ukuchaza umntu osebenzisa inani elincinci leempawu eziphambili.
Kodwa ayisiyiyo indlela abantu abasebenza ngayo. Abantu bathambekele ekubeni ngumxube odidekileyo kunye noxinzelelo wengcinga, iimvakalelo kunye nezenzo.
Akuqhelekanga ukuba umntu abambe uluvo olungangqinelani ncam nezenzo zabo, okanye abe nedabi langaphakathi phakathi kokuziphatha kunye neenjongo ezingahambelani ncam.
Kodwa iilebhile azikuvumeli ukuntsonkotha okunje. Basebenza ukuchaza umntu ngokusekwe kwinto enye.
Unekratshi. Unobubele. Bayazingca.
Ewe, angabonakalisa ikratshi ngamanye amaxesha, naye angabonakalisa ububele ngamanye amaxesha, kwaye banokuzenzela ukuthanda kwabo ngamanye amaxesha…
Kodwa ukukholelwa ekubeni yiyo yonke loo nto banokubona kufutshane.
2. Iilebheli zinokuthi (ngokungachanekanga) zingenise ezinye iimpawu emntwini.
Sivame ukukholelwa ukuba iilebhile zinokudityaniswa ngokulula ukuze umntu ohambelana nelebheli ethile alingane nenye.
Sicinga ukuba xa sele sazi okuthile ngomntu, sinokuthi sigqibele ngobuntu babo bonke.
Kwaye naxa bezingqina ukuba bahlukile kwindlela esicinga ngayo, kunokuba nzima ukutshintsha umbono wethu.
Xa sibiza umntu ukuba unekratshi, njengakwinqaku elandulelayo, emva koko sinokucinga ukuba ungumntu oxhaphaza abanye ongakwaziyo ukwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kwezinye iimeko, iya kuba ichanekile. Kodwa loo matyala aya kudlulwa kude ngabantu abanomoya wokuzithemba, kodwa abalunge kakhulu kwaye bayathandeka wakuba ubazi.
Yintoni egqithisile…
3. Iilebhile zilungelelene.
Unokubona okanye wazi umntu othile kwaye ubakholelwe ukuba luhlobo oluthile lomntu olusekwe kwimbonakalo yakho yokuqala kunye / okanye ukuhlangana kwakho kunye nabo.
Ubabela iilebheli oyikhethileyo.
Kwaye omnye umntu, ngokusekwe kunxibelelwano olufanayo, unokujonga lo mntu ngendlela eyahluke kakhulu. Baya kunika iilebula zabo.
Umntu angabhalwa njengobukrakra ngumntu omnye kunye nobomi kunye nomphefumlo weqela ngomnye.
Ilebheli yakho ayilunganga ngaphezu komnye umntu, ke kuya kufuneka ubuze inqaku lokufaka iilebheli nakubani na kwasekuqaleni.
Ewe kunjalo, inokuba ikwabiwe iilebheli yakho komnye umntu emva konxibelelwano oluthile, kwaye omnye umntu wabela ilebheli yakhe emva konxibelelwano olwahluke kakhulu.
Sonke sinamahla-ndinyuka wethu iintsuku zethu ezintle kunye neentsuku zethu ezimbi. Ukuba ubambe umntu ngosuku olubi, usenokudibana nengxabano okanye ukuphikisana.
Ukunqongophala kokulala, iingxaki kwezinye iindawo zobomi bethu, iihomoni, kunye nezinye izinto ezininzi ezinokuchaphazela indlela umntu aziphethe ngayo ngexesha elithile.
Lo mntu mnye unokuthi, ngamanye amaxesha, abe mnandi kwaye athandeke, kodwa ukuba wabela ilebhile esekwe kuphela kumava akho, ayizukubonakalisa oku.
Oku kunxulumene kakhulu nento yokuba…
4. Abantu banokutshintsha bakhule.
Iileyibhile aziguquki. Abantu kakhulu akunjalo.
Nangona ingenguye wonke umntu onqwenela ukutshintsha, wonke umntu wenza ngandlela thile okanye enye njengoko ehamba ebomini.
Kodwa iilebhile esizinika abanye zenza kube nzima kuthi ukuba silwamkele okanye silwamkele olu tshintsho.
Ukuba sibona umntu ongenabuchule emsebenzini wakhe, le ilebhile kunokuba nzima ukuyishukumisa nokuba ungaphumelela kangakanani.
Sisenokuhlala siyibona i-newbie eneempazamo ejoyine inkampani kwiminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo naxa bekhula bengomnye weenkwenkwezi zeenkampani.
Oku kunokuba nefuthe kwindlela esibaphatha ngayo kunye nolwalamano esinalo nabo. Banokuzikhusela ukuba sibathobela phantsi kwaye oku kungakhokelela kuxinzelelo olukhulu.
Kwicala elisezantsi, singabhala umntu ngendlela efanelekileyo kwaye singakwazi ukubona ukusilela kwabo kamva.
Ukubuyela kumzekelo wethu weshishini, umphathi unokubona ilungu elithile labasebenzi ukuba lingumntwana wabo oligolide-umntu ongenakwenza nto iphosakeleyo.
Banokuthi babele le ilebheli emva komsebenzi ogqwesileyo kwangethuba kwikhondo lomsebenzi wabo. Kodwa ukuba lo msebenzi akasasebenzi kakuhle, umphathi angazenzela izizathu zokungavumi ukuba inqanaba labo lehlile.
Utshintsho lwalo naluphi na uhlobo luye lube nzima ngakumbi ukulufumana nokwamkela xa sele sinike umntu ileyibhile ethile kuba ukwamkela ukuba batshintshile kukwamkela ukuba besingalunganga ngokubanika ilebhile. Kwaye sonke siyazi ukuba kunokuba nzima kangakanani ukuvuma ukuba besingalunganga.
Ngapha koko, emva kokuba unikwe ileyibhile, umntu unokungakholelwa ukuba banakho ukutshintsha kuba…
5. Iilebhile zinokuzizalisekisa.
Khawufane ucinge umntu ekuxelela ukuba usisidenge kwaye awusoze ufikelele nantoni na - umyalezo oqhelekileyo womhlukumezi ngokweemvakalelo.
Emva kokukuva amaxesha aneleyo, uya kuqala ukukholelwa. Uya kuzabela le lebhile.
Kwaye xa uyikholelwa le lebhile, ngekhe uzityhalele ukuba usebenze kwezo ndawo apho unokuba buthathaka kunabanye (ukubuthathaka, kunjalo, ilebheli ngokwayo, esetyenziselwa apha ngenjongo yokuqonda).
Kwaye ukuba awuzami ukukhula nokukhula, kuya kusebenza ukomeleza inkolelo yakho kwileyibhile oyinikiweyo.
6.Iilebhile zenza i 'us' xa ithelekiswa 'nabo' inamandla.
Olunye losetyenziso oluphambili lonciphiso oluxutyushwe ngaphambili kukusivumela ukuba sichonge ngokukhawuleza ukuba omnye umntu unje ngathi okanye wahlukile kuthi.
Yindlela yokubona umhlobo wotshaba.
Kwixesha lethu elidlulileyo lesizwe, oku kunokuba nakho ukusebenzisa into ebalulekileyo ekukhuseleni eyakho kukoyikiswa komzimba.
Kodwa kule mihla intshaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ibe ngumntu obambe umbono ohlukileyo wehlabathi kuthi.
Ipolitiki igcwele iilebheli kwaye abezopolitiko bayazisebenzisa ukuphumelela inkxaso kubantu abavumelana nezo bhile.
Nokuba ungakweliphi ilizwe, ihlala iyindawo yokuphikiswa xa kuthelekiswa nenkululeko kwaye ulwimi olusetyenziswayo ludla ngokuzaliswa.
“Ezo nkululeko zingamampunge…”
'Abo baphambeneyo bafuna ukuba si…'
'Andinakumela abantu abavotela i-X, abayazi loo nto…?'
Kodwa ayisiyantlukwano yezopolitiko kuphela apho siye sabona kufanelekile ukuba sibhale abanye kwaye sahlule uhlanga lwethu olunye lomntu lube ngamacandelo 'ahlukeneyo'.
Uhlanga, inkolo, ubudala, isini, isini- ezi zezinye zeendlela esifuna ukuziphosa ngazo kuthi.
Ewe kunjalo, le ngqondo ikuthintela ukuba ungaboni umntu osemva kwelebheli.
Kunokubakho abantu onokuthi uhlangane kakuhle nabo - onokuthi bangabahlobo bakho - kodwa ngekhe ubanike ixesha losuku kuba ubona ileyibhile ongazichazanga nayo kwaye iyakoyikisa.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, nje ukuba ulebhelishe iqela ngokukhanya okungalunganga, iyayichaphazela kwangoko imbono yakho yomntu ngamnye okwelo qela ngaphandle kwayo.
Ngelishwa ke…
7. Iilebhile zinokunika umbono ongeyonyani wokuphakama.
Ukuba uzibhala njengenye into, kwaye uyakholelwa ukuba loo nto ilungile, kulandela ukuba nabani na ongangeni phantsi kwelebheli efanayo akalunganga njengaye.
Unokuzibamba ukowona mgangatho uphezulu xa kufikwa kumba wezococeko. Ikhaya lakho kunye nomzimba wakho kugcinwa ngokungacacanga.
Oku ukubona njengenxalenye yokuba ungubani - uzinika igama elithi 'ngumntu ococekileyo.'
Xa udibana nabantu abangayifikeleliyo le migangatho inye, ubeka emngciphekweni wokuziva ungaphezulu kubo.
Usenokundwendwela umhlobo womhlobo wakho kwaye ubone igumbi lokuhlambela elirhabaxa kunye nezinye izitya ezingahlanjwanga ecaleni kwaye uzive ungonwabanga.
Oku kunokuchaphazela ukujonga kwakho umhlobo wakho kunye nolwalamano onalo kunye nabo.
Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba unayo yonke into kunye, kanti kufuneka ukuba bayasokola. Akungenisi ekucingeni kwakho ukuba basenokungakhathali ngococeko njengawe.
Okanye mhlawumbi uhlala kwi-grid kwaye utya ukutya okukhule ekhaya okukhulayo kuba ufuna ukunciphisa umkhondo we-ecological.
Eyona nto incomekayo ngolu hlobo, ukuba ujongela phantsi abanye abangayikhathalelanga indalo, uyaphoswa yinqaku lokuba wonke umntu uphila ubomi obahlukileyo kwaye ubomi obulodwa abulungekanga ngcono kunobunye.
Ubomi abukho lula kwaye izizathu zabantu zokucinga okanye ukwenza ngendlela abenza ngayo ziyinkimbinkimbi. Ngokukhawuleza xa uqala ukuzibuza ukuba kutheni wonke umntu engacingi okanye enze ngokufana nawe, uba lixhoba lobunzima obuphezulu.
Kwaye ukuba ucinga ukuba ungaphezulu kwaye wenze ngale ndlela - ngokufundisa abantu ngokuba 'ngabancinci' umzekelo - uyakubahlukanisa abo bakungqongileyo.
Ukuziva ukongama kukwayingxaki kuba…
8. Iilebhile ziyasivumela ukuba sibaphathe kakubi abanye.
Okwangoku xa ubhala umntu ngendlela engeyiyo, uzinika imvume yokumphatha kakubi.
Ewe, oku kunokukhokelela kwizenzo ezothusayo zobundlobongela, kodwa iqhele ukubonakala kuhlaselo oluncinci.
Unokunika isincomo esine-backhanded, umzekelo, ukufihla ukungamthandi kwakho umntu ngelixa usenza ukuba bazive bengalunganga.
Okanye usenokwenza ngobundlobongela ngokungamemi mntu kwiqela lakho lobuhlobo kwi-bowling yangokuhlwa kuba ubabhale njengabantu 'abakhuphisana ngokugqithileyo' kwaye abanembeko yokukhuhla abanye ngendlela engalunganga.
Isenokuthetha ukungabikho kwembeko kumntu ongenakhaya ngenxa yokuba ubajonga 'njengomkhuthuzi' ofuna nje ukwenza isenzo kunye.
Njengoko sele kuxoxiwe, iilebheli zilula kakhulu ukuba zinokuchaza umntu. Kodwa bayanceda ukuguqula umntu abe yinto-okanye ngokuqinisekileyo asuse ubuntu balowo mntu.
Kwaye ngobuntu buhambile okanye buthobekile, kulula kakhulu ukungahoyi iimvakalelo zomntu okanye impilo-ntle ngokubanzi.
9. Iilebhile zisinika ulindelo olungeyonyani lomntu.
Ngelixa lilusizi ngeendlela ezininzi, sihlala sithanda gweba abantu xa uqala ukudibana nabo . Bajongeka njani, bavakala njani, yintoni umsebenzi wabo-sizibeka ezi zinto kunye nezinye izinto njengoko siqala ukubabela iilebheli.
Kodwa iilebhile ziyalutshintsha ulindelo lwethu kuloo mntu, lube ngcono okanye lubi.
Sisenokudibana ‘nosomashishini osele ephakathi.’ Eli gama linokusenza sicinge ukuba bakrelekrele, bayazibhokoxa emsebenzini kwaye bazizityebi.
Sisenokudibana ‘nomninikhaya otyebe ngokugqithiseleyo onabantwana abathathu.’ Le ilebhile inokusenza sicinge ukuba bazizidenge, bayonqena, kwaye abaphumeleli.
Ngale iilebheli zokuqala sizinikiweyo, sinokungena kuyo nantoni na eqinisekisa ulindelo lwethu, ngelixa sityeshela izinto ezichaseneyo nazo.
Usomashishini unakho ukongamela ishishini elisilelayo kwaye usecicini lokutshona. Umninikhaya wayenokuyeka umsebenzi ophumeleleyo wokukhulisa abantwana babo.
Nangona kunjalo, kunokuba nzima ukujonga ngaphaya kwezigwebo zethu zokuqala kunye nolindelo esinalo lomntu osekwe kuzo.
Yizame ngoku. Yenza umntu ocingayo engqondweni yakho. Ziphinde. Yenza uguqulelo lube nye ngugqirha kwaye enye ibe yiplipper kwindawo othengisa kuyo ngokukhawuleza.
Ukunikezelwa kwesi siqwenga solwazi malunga nobomi baba bantu babini, ngubani olindele ukuba onwabe, abe sempilweni, abe sisityebi, athandeke ngakumbi, akhululeke kunye nabo.
Mhlawumbi ugqirha, akunjalo?
Kodwa ngekhe uyenze loo ngcinga. Ukubeka ulindelo lomntu kuyo nayiphi na ilebhile - okanye kwelebheli ezininzi-ayibobulumko.
Awunokwazi umntu de uchithe ixesha kunye naye, ukwazi ukuba ngubani okwinqanaba elinzulu kunokuba nayiphi na ilebhile inokufikelela.
Sithetha ngokulindelweyo…
Nkqu neelebhile ezakhayo zinokubuyisa umva.
Iilebhile zinokuba mbi njengokuthi 'zibuthathaka' okanye 'zibubudenge' kwaye zinokuba zilungile 'ezinje' okanye 'zinomtsalane,' kodwa ngelixa iziphumo ezonakalisayo zangaphambili zicacile, eyokugqibela inokuba neziphumo ezingathandekiyo.
Ingxaki yokuphawula umntu ngendlela elungileyo iza xa eziva engakwazi ukuphila ngokuvumelana neenkolelo kunye nolindelo lwabanye, okanye xa evakalelwa kukuba ileyibhile ayihambelani nendlela abazibona ngayo.
Umzali oxelela umntwana wakhe ‘ngobukrelekrele’ bakhe angababeka uxinzelelo kubo ukuze baqhube kakuhle ezifundweni. Ukuba bayasokola ngesihloko esithile, banokukholelwa ukuba bayabaphoxa abazali babo kwaye bazive bekhathazekile yile nto.
Umntu oxelela iqabane lakhe ukuba 'bahle' okanye 'bahle' njani kunokubonakala ngathi yinto entle, kodwa ukuba ezo ilebhile azingqinelani nembono yeqabane labo, zinokubenza bakuthandabuze ukunconywa okanye bazive bengakufanelekeli ukuyifumana.
Ayikuko ukuba zonke iilebhile ezilungileyo kufuneka zithintelwe, kodwa umntu kufuneka anyathele ngononophelo olukhulu xa ebabela, enolwazi olupheleleyo malunga nokuba zinokumchaphazela njani umntu obhaliweyo.
Unokuthanda:
